IDS #147 - Ride the Worm

147 RIDE THE WORM

Mike: [00:00:00] I don't know why I brought that up. Yeah. And I don't think it's going anywhere, so I, I agree with you. Cut that out. I agree.

Darin: Your name is Mike. And I'm Darren. Yeah. And this is our podcast.

Mike: Oh. This is going to be a good bahoo

Florence. There's a tany taste in this muffin. Is that a cherry?

Darin: No,

Mike: no. My muffin hasn't had a cherry since 1939. Welcome to Irritable Dad syndrome. You know, it may sound hard to believe, but we don't mention you two, one time this week. Please welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren.

Darin: Hey, I'm Darren. I am Mike.

Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. This is episode 1 47. And this week we never talk about politics. We never talk about controversial subjects. But this week we are going to, uh, dive deep into a controversial subject. Deep. Yeah. I am going to pick a side. Mm-hmm. I'm going to be right. Yeah. And that's the, [00:01:00] that's it.

Yeah. Okay. That's the decision and that's the opinion that you were going to have and all the listeners. Okay. And that's where we're going to end it. So, uh,

Mike: hang on. Yeah. And I want to talk about the new Dune trailer. Yeah. I hope it's still new by the time this episode drops, I think it will be. Yeah. Uh, it's badass.

Darin: Yeah. Yeah. We haven't even gotten out to see Guardians of the

Mike: Galaxy Three. We haven't. I've heard that one's like the best. That's what I've heard since. That's what I've heard. Whatever. Over

Darin: and over again. I keep hearing Guardians of the Galaxy Three.

Mike: I think I've missed a movie, so I've missed Black Panther, the second Black Panther.

One time you missed Wakanda forever. Yeah. Okay. And is there another one? I, we saw Aunt Man goes to the space. Yeah. Quantum mania. Yeah.

Darin: And then, and then I haven't seen the Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas special on Netflix. I'm

Mike: not going to Disney, I'm not going to

Darin: watch. I can't make myself do it.

Mike: Yeah.

I just do, you know, it's like, okay. I, it's, I, it's a play on the Star Wars Christmas special. Right. Which was stupid. Right. We all knew. And, and here's a hint. For all [00:02:00] you millennials out there who think it's cool to like the Star Wars Christmas special. We grew up with Star Wars. It's, it's not, we were kids when that came out.

I am so old at the time when,

Darin: when I saw Star Wars Uhhuh, it was just called

Mike: Star Wars. Yeah. When it aired on tv. Mm-hmm. We were excited for about 30 seconds and it was like, What in the hell is this? I'll tell you this. There was a movie. Mm-hmm. Called Ewoks. Do you remember the Ewok movie?

Darin: I've heard

Mike: of it.

I never saw it. I actually saw it. Uhhuh. It's okay. Okay. And I say this as like I may, maybe when I was back, like 13 or 12 or seven or what, however old I was when it came out somewhere it was okay then Uhhuh. But the kid that thought the Ewoks movie was okay. Fought the Christmas special sucked. It's not good.

Not even ironically. Good. It's dumb. Be Arthur

Darin: was in it, be Arthur was

Mike: in the Star Wars Christmas special. [00:03:00] It's so, it's everything that y'all are supposed to care about and holds sacred. Is isn't that special? It's so quit acting like it's, it's like, oh, I'm, I'm gonna be ironic. You are not just, you're, you're, you're gonna be embarrassed when you're old and fat and stupid like we are.

And you got kids running around. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna be embarrassed by the fact that you thought that was, uh, cool. Even ironically,

Darin: I've got a buddy who went on the, the eBays. And he bought, I think, I swear to God, I think he paid $50. It may have been more for a VHS of the Star Wars Christmas special.

Are you sitting down with? He's like, Darren with the commercials still in it. And I'm like, well, the actually

Mike: commercials might actually

Darin: be worth something there. Oh, you've gotta steal Doug. Geez. You can watch it on the YouTubes uhhuh. Yeah. And Adam Niff was

Mike: talking to us about that. Mm-hmm. I hope you [00:04:00] millennials, when you're old and you're forcing your grandchildren, To watch that And you think it's funny.

I hope one of them crawls over and unplugs your ass from the respirator. It's, yeah. It's child abuse. It really is. Send you where you need to be. Yeah, just stop it. Yeah. You're gonna be in a home and they are not going to come and visit you. Harrison Ford uh, sums it up perfectly when he said there's a reason he wanted Han Solo killed.

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Darin: That brings me to my controversial subject. Okay. I want to talk about the remake of The Little Mermaid. Okay. Now, you've never seen the original Little Mermaid? I have not. I'm a 52 year old man. Mm-hmm. I have seen The Little Mermaid more times than I can.

Even fathom it's gotta be 50 times. Wow.

Mike: Good. Good word choice there. Fathom I?

Darin: Yeah. No fathom. The fathoms

Mike: SM 20,000. Thank. Thank you

Darin: leagues. Yeah. [00:06:00] Mm-hmm. Yeah. I know the lyrics to, I could sing part of your world right now.

Mike: I don't, please don't look at this stuff.

Darin: Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?

Mike: I know all the words to the

Darin: song. Yeah. I love The Little Mermaid. Mm-hmm. And you can go back on this podcast and listen to previous episodes and you'll find me saying they need to stop remaking movies. Okay. Yeah. I've said this before. I will say it again. I was, uh, against the remake of Beauty and the Beast.

Yeah, I saw it. I didn't, it was there. It was okay. Did you see Lion King? The Lion King was horrible. Yeah. Okay. I don't remember If you wanna see the Lion King go to Blockbuster, it's, it's closed. Go to Disney plus. Yeah. Okay. Watch the original. Yeah. The animated version is 50 million thousand times better.

Oh yeah. Than that, that they put out there. Okay. Okay. The Jungle Book. Wasn't that great? Okay. Mm-hmm. This, now, listen, I'm listening. When I say I'm [00:07:00] against the remake of the Little Mermaid, it ain't because I'm the R word. Okay. I'm not racist. I don't care that they got an African American girl to play Ariel.

Okay? My main problem, yeah, is that they replaced scuttle. Scuttle is not a seagul. Now it's a pigeon or something. A pigeon. Yeah. Scuttle was voiced by Buddy Hackett. Okay.

Mike: Oh, legendary comedian. Buddy Hackett, buddy

Darin: Hackett, humans use just to straightened the hair out. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. He was unbelievably, yeah.

Yeah. Hilarious. And just the, the Little Mermaid is an absolute masterpiece. Yeah. They don't need to make it again. They, they just don't need to. Okay. Yeah. And now let's talk about. Ariel, I don't,

Mike: yeah.

Darin: Being, being played by an African American actress. Well, hold

Mike: on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me catch up.

Let me catch up. Let me catch up. Okay, so the little more Mer Mermaid. Mm-hmm. The Little Mermaid. The Little Mermaid has been out for, what? 60 years by this point? 65, yeah. Is, and I haven't seen it. Mm-hmm. But is the story, she's a. [00:08:00] She's a fish. She's half fish. She's, she's a mermaid. And she's a mermaid. And she falls a dude, she falls in love with a human.

Prince. Eric Surfer? Yeah. Or Prince and Surfer. Surfer. And then she, his,

Darin: she, his name is

Mike: Chad. She sings a few songs to a clam and gets some legs. And now she's, and then they go live happily ever after. Exactly. On the land. No, no, the, the deal is she makes her come

Darin: on the land. Yeah. She got pissed at her dad.

Mike: Oh, Poseidon. Is it Poseidon or Neptune? Titan.

Darin: Titan. Titan. King. Titan. She got pissed at him. Okay. She went to Ursula the Sea Witch. Oh, she's got the thing. Yeah. Yeah. And so she gave away her voice so that she could go on land and meet Prince Eric. So she's a mute fish? Yeah. She, she, she's, she's not a mute or She is a mute.

A mute fish. But she's not a fishing well, she has legs. Oh, okay. So she can, you know, she goes on land to meet

Mike: Prince. It's like Dar Hannah in Splash. She couldn't, cause she couldn't talk. Well, she talked like a porous Yeah, she did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. So is it Splash is [00:09:00] in Little Mermaid.

Did it copy off the Splash? Who's John Candy. Okay. John Candy. But, okay, so she goes and lives with us.

Darin: No, no. Don't, she can't, don't be distant. Prince Eric. Okay.

Mike: Okay. Prince Eric, come on. She goes and, and, and lives with him. Mm-hmm. Does she ever get her voice back? Well, spoiler wait. Okay. Can she sing? That's cuz she likes to sing.

He

Darin: doesn't know it's her because she can't sing. What He doesn't know it's her because she can't sing. So she has, can you see her walking around? Yeah, but she, but when she rescued him, okay. His boat had explosion and she rescued him from the boat explosion. And then I thought he

Mike: was a surfer. I really did think

Darin: he was, he wasn't a surfer.

So in his, his cloudy, you know, his, like, he's in and out and he kind of see, kinds of, sees her like as a vision.

Mike: Oh. And then he hears, ah, yeah, ah. And then he's like, that,

Darin: that, that was a, that was a girl. Oh my God, what the, you know, and then, okay, so he doesn't know, did I see a girl or did I not see a girl or.

Hey, [00:10:00] what happened?

Mike: So, so she sings happy birthday to him. She sings. She sings. Yeah. Yeah. So now he can't recognize her cuz she doesn't sing. He, he doesn't know that it's

Darin: her because she doesn't have her voice. Right. So that's the,

Mike: that's the, this is from the same Uhhuh hook? Yeah, that's the hook. That's the hook.

Darin: This is from the Sebastian. Sebastian. The Crabb is hysterical. Okay. Uh, but yeah. But Buddy Hackett Uhhuh is, is not, they could have taken Buddy Hackett's voice, buddy Hackett

Mike: was leagues Yeah. 20,000 leagues beyond any other Yeah. Comedian at that time. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So she can sing now. Mm-hmm. And then he's like, it's like the Cinderella, your foot.

Fits the slipper. I don't remember anything about you, but you, this, she, this sings something to it. Whoa, whoa. I'm sorry. Don't you This, this fish. Starts singing at him. She's a

Darin: mermaid. Okay.

Mike: Yeah. She's not, this Flippered woman

Darin: starts, she's just a flippered woman with people on her body singing at him.

Mike: She saves him Uhhuh.[00:11:00]

He, he doesn't know anything about her, but the fact that she sings, yeah, this is, and,

Darin: and, and she's beautiful. Okay.

Mike: I'm gonna get political on here. Yes. These, they have, Disney has taken this creature, this woman, Uhhuh Uhhuh, and

Darin: taken her down to nothing

Mike: but her. boys. What they're saying is they're all the same.

Ain't no difference between any of 'em. But this one can sing. Is that what they're saying? I don't, I can't tell anybody that part. Oh, she can sing. Okay. I'll take the one that can sing. When she rescued

Darin: him, she was singing. Yeah. And he, he came out of like a, he was knocked unconscious. Oh. So when he came out, he was kind of hazy, kind of blurry.

And then he, he was like, was that, that was a what happened? A fish. There was a

Mike: girl who saved me. Right. A slippered lady. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she saved him. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And she dropped him back on the beach.

Darin: Uh, she left him there on the beach? Yeah. Okay. He could've gotten eaten by a crab or something.

Yeah, he could have got a, the crabs. Yeah. Could've gotten the crabs. Anyway, let's, anyways, [00:12:00] let's get to the

Mike: controversial, and then they have some Cheddar Bay biscuits, and they live happily ever after. Yes, yes, yes. So now they're remaking it.

Darin: They're remaking it. They've

Mike: the, and they've turned this Aeriel Fish Aeriel.

Okay. The, the Little Mermaid

Darin: who is white in the cartoon? She was, she's African-American in the remake version. I didn't know she was

Mike: white in the cartoon. People

Darin: are losing their mind. Why? I, I don't know. But she's, I mean, a fish, I mean, I'm pissed because they're, they're remaking the little

Mike: mermaid. They, they don't know.

Bothered by the fact that she's got flippers

Darin: and a, a tail. It's a mermaid. Of course

Mike: you're gonna have, they're more worried about the color of her skin than they are. The fact that she's got a fishtail

Darin: y Yes. Yeah. It's a mermaid mike. Of course she's, yeah.

Mike: Dude, I always wondered what it was and was gonna make me be the crotchety old, the, on the rocking chair on the porch, yelling at the the kids. Yeah. You've got me so pissed off at the mil. Is it the millennials? Nah, I don't wanna get

Darin: into it. That's the people are upset. [00:13:00] Some people are upset that the new Little Mermaid

Mike: is black now.

It just seems so inconsequential. It doesn't

Darin: anything. Yeah. But here's my thing, and one of the arguments is people are like, well, my little girl saw this and she's so happy. It's like, now I could be the Little Mermaid too. Like, okay, that's, yeah. That, that's fantastic. You gotta stop remaking movies. Yeah.

You can make a new movie. Do you ever, did you ever see the Princess in the Frog? It was the first time Disney had an African American princess. Okay. Okay. It's like if you wanna make a strong African American character a princess for little girls to look up to write a new movie that has a strong African American princess in it.

Okay. That's all you gotta do. Yeah. You don't have to remake the Little Mermaid and then make one character Black.

Mike: Now, why do you keep

Darin: hitting that? I don't know. Why? Cause, cause I'm, yeah. You don't have to change that to make that point. You could make that point a thousand ways over by making new movies with strong [00:14:00] African American characters in it.

Yeah, you can totally do that without. Ruining My Little Mermaid. Yeah. Yeah. Without Buddy

Mike: Hackett. So I, I want to, I'm, I'm gonna come along with you on this. Okay. It's not gonna sound like at the beginning, but we'll meet up in the middle. Okay. Uh, video games went through something very similar to this over the past.

Uh, it's, it's, we've been a few years away from it now, but it was like every video game character. Was a dude. Mm-hmm. And right now, Chris Hughes and his cronies are typing on the YouTube. What about, uh, you know, Laura Croft and to Raider and this and that, and Princess Peach, blah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

You guys have like three ladies, princess Peach. Yeah. Well, she's a playable character in the Yes. Yes he is. Yeah. Yeah. One very well known game company came out and said, you guys don't understand how much money it would take to give players a choice at the beginning. Whether they want to be male or female.

We have to redo cuz you know, everything's voice [00:15:00] acted and all this stuff. Start from now and move forward. It's a huge deal. One other game company came back. A huge game company that's very narrative driven. Uhhuh. You Softed. Yeah, absolutely you can. Here's now you can be female and you can be a male.

Right. And everything's done and good. Yeah. And made everyone else look like idiots. And lo and behold, now we have a situation where, Most games when you start them, you can pick whether you're male or female. They only had to tweak the other dialogue to make it work. Yeah. With whatever you chose. Yeah. And it really didn't.

It was, it's immersive either way you do it. Yeah. So it's not

Darin: that big of a deal. But you know, there was talk of picking the new James Bond. There was talk of having a female James Bond. I don't, no. That that doesn't,

Mike: no, that doesn't. There was talk of, has anyone ever seen

Darin: a James Bond? There was talk of having Idris Elba being the new James Bond.

Mike: Yeah, I've, I was, I liked that. I like

Darin: Idriss Elba. Yeah. But the, the character uhhuh that, that's not the character. Okay. And, and people was like, well, we could make it the character. Yeah. But you could [00:16:00] make a new character. You could do like Jason Bourne. Yeah. Okay. Jason Bourne can kick James Bond's ass.

Yeah. Twice. Yeah. Three times on Sunday. Yeah. Okay. Let, let's say when they remade Shaft and they cast Samuel L. Jackson to Shaft, what if they said, we're gonna put John in this role. Yeah. And make John Ham shaft. Yeah. Well, or let's, let's make someone who's badass. Let's make John Krazinsky. Yeah,

Mike: let's make, okay.

Well, they're in both of those examples. Mm-hmm. Shaft is a Blacksploitation film, right? Yeah. Yeah. Basically. So you have to have an African American in that role. Yeah. It doesn't work. James Vaughn is a chauvinist, if you want. If you want proof, watch the first three James Bonds with your wife or girlfriend.

Yep. And try not to blush yourself silly. Yeah. I mean, he is just an absolute, any of the Sean Connery wins. Yep, yep. Uh, Roger Mors a little funnier. Yeah, it's, it's not till you get to like Pierce Bronson when it's like, okay. Brosnon Bronson [00:17:00] Bronn Pinco. Yeah. Was he Pinco Bron? Was the, was the eighth Pierce James, James Pierce, you know, that's Bron.

Bronson pin show.

Darin: Bronson pin show. Was James the best James Bond? Well, of course he was. Don't be ridiculous. Even, even

Mike: Daniel Craig. I mean, you get to Daniel Craig and it's pretty much, you know, it's, yeah, but he's, he's basically Jason Bourne at that point. Jason Bourne with a British accent. Yeah. But yeah, in that, for James Bond, I think it has to be a dude to fit in with that other, and then it's, it's because at what point do you, does it stop being James Bond and it's just something else?

Yeah. The Oceans 11 did it with Oceans, what was it? Oceans Eight. They, they, they mo all female and all female cast Sandra Bullock. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know. I didn't see it. I like Sa Bullock. I like some of the actresses. I love the Oceans movies. I just, I, I love the Ocean movies. Mm-hmm. Because of George Clooney.

Mm-hmm. I love Brad Pitt. They've got like all my dudes in there. Yeah. You know, that's why I'm going to see those movies. Not [00:18:00] because they're all guys. Yeah. It's just because I love those actors. Actors. I like, yeah.

Darin: I hated the female Ghostbuster movie. Yeah. I like, I liked the, the actresses who were in it.

Yeah. I hated the movie because it was a bad movie. Yeah. And, and not because I, I'm not watching a movie. It has a bunch of girls in it. Yeah. I It was just a bad movie. Yeah. Yeah. It just was. But if I can reiterate my point on Little Mermaid. Yeah. If they wanna make a movie with a strong African American character, write a new movie.

With a strong African American character, give everybody a new reason to see, make, make your new character. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And just, just start new because something original, something fresh,

Mike: something even better than that. Well, I'll give you another video game example. Ellie in the last of us.

Mm-hmm. You've seen the last of us TV show. Yeah. She's an absolute badass. Yeah. They didn't have to go make some other video game character or some other character into something else. Mm-hmm. They just said, we're gonna write a strong, badass [00:19:00] female character from. The ground up. Yeah. And that's what they did.

Yeah. Yeah. This portion of our show is brought to you by J d's 24 hour drive through Pawn and Gun Auto Parts pharmaceutical adult gift bait and tackle discount Cigarette outlet.

Darin: That's right.

Mike: Uh, I wanna talk about the Dune trailer, the new Dune trailer Dune. Part two, they're just calling it part two, which I love.

Dune two electric book. Exactly. My love for Dune is well documented on this podcast back when it originally came out. Yeah. I got the soundtrack on one of the record store days for Yeah, you, the Kyle McLoughlin, uh, dune. I still haven't watched the original Dune. I haven't watched it all in one city. Yeah, I've seen all over the place.

Yeah. The one was Sting. I was super excited for the Dune remake and when it came out I forced the family to go. And they loved it, including Bess. Yeah, Bess was like, that was really, really good. Yeah. She was not expecting it to be, it was badass. My whole family loved it too. The kids loved it. Yeah.

Everybody loved it. And I remember [00:20:00] getting upset when I read that we had to wait two years. For the sequel, and the reason was they didn't know how well Dune was going to do. Right? So they didn't do anything with the sequel until they knew they were on the woo. It was a Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Plan.

Yeah. They were on that plan. They weren't on the the Peter Jackson app. Just let him do six movies. It would be good. They weren't on that plan. Three, three, but yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that the trailer dropped and it has, I don't know if you've seen the picture of the still of him standing with the son and he's got a knife, ome.

Yes. Shot. Tiffany. Tiffany, Charlamagne.

Darin: Tiffany. Timothy. Timothy. Is he wearing a shirt?

Mike: Alif font? Ali Charlamagne? No, no, he's, yeah. He's fully like, yeah, okay. He's all deserted up and he's, it's an iconic pose. It's a thing from the books. It's from the original movie with comic clan. The fighter holding the knife.

Horizontal. It's like a, it's like a we're gonna come beat your ass. Yeah. It's the same like Harry Potter, holding lil wand out. Like his little thing. Uh, it's like Luke holding the lights, say, [00:21:00] you know, this is the, I'm, I'm going to come beat your ass thing. Yeah. And I got all giddy. And I watched the trailer and it's awesome.

And a big part of it shows him doing his first ride. Mm-hmm. On the worms. Mm-hmm. Because that's a part of the book, ride The Worm, and that's part of the original Dune movie, is they ride the worms into battle.

Darin: There was a movie on Cinemax

Mike: once called Ride the Worm. That's a whole different Okay. Whole different thing.

Okay. Traci Lords, I know you're talking about whole, whole different Samantha Fox, everybody, whole different thing. Everybody was naked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weird. Yeah. Even the worm. So they. You know, they, you know, they write 'em. But in the Kyle McLaughlin one Uhhuh, it's all blue screened and he is, you know, he could tell he's on a treadmill and, and somebody else is on a treadmill and they've got like an earth worm that they put a camera next to and it's all, and you're like, they're gonna make this badass on the new one.

And it's awesome. Yeah. But they don't ever show the money shot as it were. This went way.[00:22:00]

Record, scratch. Come back. Welcome back. Welcome back. You can tell that it's gonna be badass. Yeah. And Timothy Aliant. Or Chama? Charlamagne.

Darin: Te. Timothy. Timothy.

Mike: Timothy. Timothy. All Cham. My god. Timothy Charlamagne comes off like a badass cuz he's in with the fighters now. He's in with the f Freeman. You know, and they're gonna lead this assault back on Oh, the whatevers.

He doesn't look fre to me. The Haron. Okay. Yeah. Eh, it's, you know, you can tell when he talks, uh, he's gonna come back, gets the Haron and they've got the Haron looking even more evil than they did before. Okay. I mean, they're going full tilt when they got DRS and everything. Ooh, it's going to be awesome.

Yeah. I got so excited and I, I made my family sit and watch it and be. Thought it looked pretty cool. The kids are like, yeah, yeah, it looks boring. What the fuck is wrong with you people? I watched, we went and go, we went to see the [00:23:00] Super Mario Brothers movie. Yeah. I went, me and Charlie went to go see Super Mario Brothers.

It was great. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He, he really liked it. Yeah. And I liked it more because he liked it. Yeah. But the whole time I, this is okay. Everybody's gonna like, yeah. Okay. Mike, you're learning about the world. I felt like I was being sold Nintendo the whole time. And I get that. I know that that's the point.

Well, yeah, I know. That's what

Darin: you're being sold Star Wars when you go, I know, I get that. They want you to go to the movie and buy the

Mike: action figures. It seemed so blatant. But I did like, I'd like Jack, I, I'd liked it. I liked it. I just, it was, it wasn't as in some, in some ways, it was better than I thought it was gonna be.

In other ways it was, wasn't as good as I thought they could have made it. Okay. But it was all right? Yeah, it was okay. Okay. Um, But I'm really excited for Dune too. And now I'm the only me and Best are the only ones. I'm afraid it's gonna be one of those where we go see it ourselves and we make the kids stay home.

Oh yeah.

Darin: I'll tell you what, my favorite thing that came out of the original, not the original Dune, but the dune that came out two years ago was when Timothy Chae [00:24:00] went to the Academy Awards. Yeah. He wore a jacket and no shirt. Okay. Yeah. No, no shirt. Yeah. And that was the year of the Will Smith slap. Oh, oh,

Mike: Richard.

Oh wow. Wow.

Darin: Will Smith to smacked this outta me. So there was a meme going on that said We really feel bad for Timothy Charay, who thought he would be the talk of the Oscars. And said, nobody gave you shit. Everybody was like, what?

Graduation season is coming up. It is. And my wife and I we're, we're going to be going to several graduation parties and she was talking to me. She says, what's the good, uh, what's a good, uh, amount to give somebody like a gift card or, or a check or just cash. Yeah. And we thought, well, you know, [00:25:00] If you don't know the kid really well.

Yeah. 20 bucks. Yeah. If you've known this kid, like if he's one of your son or daughter's best friends, 50 fifties.

Mike: Yeah.

Darin: To cap it out at a hundred. Okay. Whoa. If this is the kid who's like spent the night, you know, 5, 6, 8 times a year for the past, whatever, bump it up to a hundred, then that's where you cap it off.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But I told Libby, I said, you know what would be funny? For, uh, graduation if you wrote a check for $39 and 12 cents, there you go. For the rest of this kid's life. Yeah. He or she. Because I, I don't want to discriminate. Yeah. We'll be wondering why $39 and 12 cents? Yeah. And you, you know, you can make it 38 15 uhhuh, or, or Yeah.

An odd number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go, Toby. Congratulations. Love you bud. We're really proud of you. 39 12.

Mike: So this reminds me, and I [00:26:00] still have this present. We, when Bess and I registered for our wedding mm-hmm. Um, One of the play, I think. I don't want to guess. I think one of the places we've registered was Target.

Mm-hmm. And we're going through and they give you a, a gun. Yeah. I do remember that. You, you scanned everything that goes on there. Yeah, we did that. I, I scanned a Spider-Man lunchbox. Yeah. Because I thought that was funny. I thought it was hilarious. Uhhuh, did you get it?

Darin: Her dad. Yeah. Her de be's dad got it for us.

I scanned a 24 pack of Mountain Dew. Did you get that? Jodi Disher bought it for me. She comes up Happy Wedding, Darren. Yeah. Yeah. I went down the movie section. Oh yeah. And just started scanning movies. Right. Left, because I'm like, we're gonna get dishes. Yeah. Yeah. And, and all this that Libby wants. Yeah. So I scanned some things that I wanted.

Yeah, there you

Mike: go. Yeah. Yeah. But I, yeah, I still have the Spider-Man lunchbox in our garage. Yeah. I love it.

Darin: One last thing before we go. Yeah. You love playing video games? I do. Okay. And, uh, I, I don't play video games like you do, but I do play some of [00:27:00] the ones that you download for free on the phone. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. There is, and I'm not a prude. Okay. Okay. I'm really not a prude. Okay. But there was something that I saw that I felt was, uh, very, uh, concerning. Very penultimate, very pen, ultimately concerning. Yeah. You keep using the word. I do not think it miss what you think it means. There is a game by. Garden scapes.

Okay. And what you do is there's a, like a, a shaft Whoa. And, and, and you pull pins out of it. Okay. And it determines if stuff falls out of the shaft. Yeah, yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. At the bottom of the shaft is a woman and her daughter, and they're shivering. Okay. They're starving. Yeah. And they're dying like they're cold.

Okay. And the, the pins is the food. That comes down. Okay. Okay. So if you don't pull the right pins, the food will fall down another shaft and the woman and her child will stay [00:28:00] hungry. And I'm like, what the actual hell? Yeah. Are you serious? A and so, and I'm telling you, she is shivering. Yeah. Yeah. And the look on her face is like, dude, God, please Yeah.

Help if somebody pulled the right pin. Yeah. Yeah. So my daughter Caroline and I will eat.

Mike: Yeah. They're, they're pathetic. Yeah.

Darin: And I'm like, Really. And then there's another game Uhhuh that, uh, there's a king and he's at the bottom of the screen. Oh yeah. And, and there's, and all the, all the, like he's in a ball pit fire.

He's at a ball pit at ch at uh, Chucky cheese. Yeah. And the balls come up. Yeah. There's fire. Yeah.

Mike: And he looks nervous.

Darin: Yeah. You have to, uh, You have to play, uh, candy Crush at the top. Yeah. To, to clear a path so that the water will come down Uhhuh and to put up the smoke inhalation. And he can't So he doesn't die

Mike: and he can't move his fat ass himself?

No. No. He's just gonna sit there and watch you play Candy Crush to save him. No,

Darin: he can't. Geez. And I'm like, really? Yeah. [00:29:00] Somebody said Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that. It'll be a hit. It's it's garden scapes. Wow. I think it's called garden scapes. So you can either let the woman and her and her lovely daughter, Caroline.

Yeah. Yeah. Starve to death. Yeah. Or freeze to death, Uhhuh. Or you could let the fat bastard die of smoke in elation.

Mike: Um, oh my God, Jesus. We'd like to Thank you. Yeah. Uh, come visit us@irritabledadsyndrome.com. Uh, all of our episodes are there. Every, every damn one of 'em. There's transcripts, there's searchable stuff, there's video, there's uh, yeah.

Audio, there's all kinds of cools up. You can buy merch. Yeah. You can become a Patreon. Mm-hmm. And support this and keep this going. There's this just a boatload of bonus. There is. It's actually pretty cool.

Darin: It is. And if I can say so, I'd never pay you compliments. You do a damn good job with our website.

You, it looks amazing. Thank you. It looks really, really, really cool. So thank you. We hope that you do [00:30:00] that. But most importantly, we hope you come back and listen to us again on irritable dad syndrome. See ya.

Mike: Oh good. The show's finally over. I'm going to get a

Darin: cookie.

Look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think? I'm the girl, the girl who has everything? Look at this tro. Treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold looking around here you'd think? Sure. She's got everything. I've got gadgets and gizmos of plenty.

I've got hoos. Its And what's Its Scalor. You want Think of a Bobs. I've got 20, but who cares? No big deal. I [00:31:00] want more.

I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancing, walking around on those. What do you call 'em? Oh, feet flipping your fin. You don't get

Mike: too far.

Darin: Legs are required for jumping, dancing, strolling along downer. What's that word again? Street. Up where they walk up, where they run up, where they stay all day in the sun.

Quander and free Wish I could be part of that world. What would I give, if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay to spend the day warm on the [00:32:00] sand. Be on land. They understand that they don't reprimand their daughters.

Mike: Bright young women, sick of swimming, ready

Darin: to stand and ready to know what the people know.

Ask them my questions and get some answers. What's a fire and why does it?

Mike: What's the word?

Darin: Burn Wins it. My turn would not love. Love to explore that shore above, above

the sea.

Wish I could be.[00:33:00]