IDS #183 - The Gruesome Death of Bob the Chicken AKA The Christmas Holiday Spectacular

The Irritable Dad Syndrome Christmas Holiday Spectacular is scheduled for December 19

>> Darin: I told Mom, I said, we're recording our Christmas episode. She goes, really? What's that mean? I'm like, it's basically a regular episode, except we tell people merry Christmas.

>> Mike: Now, listen, we have dolls that cry.

>> Darin: Talk, walk, blink, and run a temperature. We don't need any chewing dol.

>> Dave: Welcome to the Irritable Dad Syndrome Christmas Holiday Spectacular. I'm Dave Lay. Join us this week with special appearances by Chris o', Brien, Jeanine Coyle, Shadow Stevens, and my special friend, Pepe. Now, please welcome your hosts, Santa's favorite podcasters, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to our Christmas episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Mike: Yes. Merry Christmas.

>> Darin: Merry Christmas.

>> Mike: 2023. Three, right. 2023. Today.

>> Darin: this episode drops on December 19th. The next episode is the day after Christmas. So this is our Christmas episode.

>> Mike: So first off, we are Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Irritable dad Syndrome. Go. Look at us. Search us on the Facebook.

>> Darin: The official podcast.

>> Mike: The official podcast of Christmas.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Irable dad syndrome dot com. But second, in between this episode of the next, We've got a pretty big thing happening.

>> Darin: We do big news. This is unbelievable news. Few weeks ago, we had Chris and Janine from wgrr. Okay? They're married with microphones. They are Cincinnati radio legends. They've been on the air for a long time. Okay. They are retiring. They're leaving their post as morning radio, station.

>> Mike: After talking to us, they said, we can't do this.

>> Darin: We can't do it.

>> Mike: They're letting just anybody do this. This stuff now.

>> Darin: Yeah. But here's the thing. December 22nd is their last episode, okay? That's the last day of broadcasting in Cincinnati, and they're having us as guests on the show.

>> Mike: And I. I look them up on the interwebs. Yeah. People listen to them a lot of the big deal. They're the number one.

>> Darin: People love them.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They just won a Marconi Award last year for best radio, personality and whatever, market. I can't remember, but it's. It's a big deal. And I have been on Chris and Janine's show a couple times. Michael Flannery and I went on there one time, a few years ago. I went on and did some, Christmas jokes. And now they're having Mike and I come on on their last episode. And honestly, I'm afraid I might tear up a little bit because I genuinely really like them. They're friends.

>> Mike: They're nice people.

>> Darin: They're really good. Yeah. Jenny, I've known for years. She used to come by, when I worked at Channel five.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They, there was a company that hired her to do their commercials. So whenever I would go out and do commercials for them, she would be there. And she was so unbelievably easy to work with and always fun. Yeah. And then I got to meet Chris, her husband, later on and they're just great people and I wish them the absolute best in retirement. But yeah, I can't believe we're going to be on their show. So mark your calendar. Yeah. December 22nd. And I know there's a way to listen to WGRR wherever you are. You can ask Alexa to.

>> Mike: This is broadcast radio, as they, as they say, terrestrial radio, which means we are going to have to be on our best behavior.

>> Darin: Absolute best behavior.

>> Mike: I can't walk in and say, hey.

>> Darin: You got three words for you, Mike. Yeah. Fcc.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So we're going to be on our absolute best behavior and we're.

>> Mike: So, Mikey is going to be working on watching his mouth. I'm going to be practicing that.

So what the. I will not be watching my mouth tonight. Because you will. You do. Yeah. Because I have to edit this thing

So what the.

>> Darin: So.

>> Mike: I will not be watching my mouth tonight.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because you will.

>> Darin: Because I have to edit this thing.

>> Mike: You do.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But there's no pretty way to say

Shadow Stevens wishes you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year

To tell the story about stepping in a pile of dog.

>> Darin: this is our Christmas episode. So Mike. Yes, go ahead.

>> Mike: let me rephrase this. One of our dogs left a Christmas.

>> Darin: Decoration, early Christmas present on the ground.

>> Mike: And I going to talk about a life lesson that Charlie learned over Thanksgiving. A heartwarming tale.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Of a boy and a chicken. And a chicken and an axe. In theory.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Shadow Stevens wishing you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. we record the show in advance. Today is November 28th, Mike and I. Even though this is our Christmas episode, Mike and I just had our actual Thanksgiving. I went to North Carolina.

>> Mike: Not together. We don't do everything together.

>> Darin: No, we don't. But I'm not against having Thanksgiving dinner with you. I would totally do.

>> Mike: You're not again. It's.

>> Darin: I'm not again. Yeah, I, was in North Carolina. I had Thanksgiving dinner with my brother in law and we had so many people at his house. My brother in law's brother in law was there, so it was my brother in law Eddie, his wife Gina, their son Ryan, Gina's mother. Okay. Then Gina's sister Lauren, her husband Josh, their three daughters.

>> Mike: And then are they all cringing right now that you're telling their Names like. Oh my God, he's identifying us.

>> Darin: Josh's, other daughter from our previous marriage. And then, their, their dad and, and his second wife.

>> Mike: What's his name? What's their dad's name?

>> Darin: Tony.

>> Mike: Old Tony. Old Tony, yeah.

>> Darin: my aunt and then my sister in law.

>> Mike: Oh, this. Yeah. Okay.

>> Darin: Holy crap. There was. Yeah. I've never had that many people. Not in 30 years have I had Thanksgiving dinner with that many people.

>> Mike: Any of them bring their dogs or pets?

>> Darin: yeah, it was a good time. Yeah, A lot of people. A lot of turkey. Yeah. Had some banana, pudding.

>> Mike: Oh, oh, okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, good stuff.

>> Mike: I think that's. I think bananas were made from milkshakes and pudding. I feel bad for the first human that ever ate a banana. Yeah, he's probably eating the banana. And then somebody says, well, there's no pudding and there's no right ice cream. There's no milkshake to go with this. You don't know what you're missing.

Dave Lay has a question about banana pudding and Cool Whip

>> Darin: I've got a question about banana pudding. Okay.

>> Mike: I've got probably the answer when you. Miller Wafers.

>> Darin: No, I understand that when you make banana pudding and you make it with, Cool Whip.

>> Mike: Cool Whip.

>> Darin: Cool Whip, yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, let me have some of that. Cool Whip.

>> Darin: Vanilla pudding and then vanilla wafers. Why don't you use banana flavored pudding? There's not banana flavored pudding.

>> Mike: Yeah, I thought that's what we were talking about.

>> Darin: Yeah. Why don't you use. But when you make a homemade banana pudding, you mix the bananas with the vanilla pudding and the Cool Whip.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: And then the vanilla wafers.

>> Mike: I've never, I've never made banana pudding. I just assumed it was actual banana pudding.

>> Darin: Yeah, my.

>> Mike: Well, this is.

>> Darin: Yeah, Libby's Aunt Nancy told me that.

>> Mike: But Libby's Aunt Nancy needs to call into the show.

>> Darin: I'm not.

>> Mike: I'm just saying.

>> Darin: Careful.

>> Mike: I want to have a conversation.

>> Darin: Tread lightly.

>> Mike: I want to have a conversation.

>> Darin: My aunt Nancy will cut you. She will watch you bleed out and she'll say, hurts donut.

>> Mike: So I have issue. Let's get into this real quick.

>> Darin: Okay. You've got a lot of issues.

>> Mike: I've got some issues with Libby, her family and their food.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Because we've already had you quit the show. Over. Over Libby's pancakes.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: And now we're getting into this. Well, this person that's related to Libby makes banana pudding and doesn't use banana flavored pudding.

>> Darin: Right. M. Yeah. What are you gonna say? What are you gonna do?

>> Mike: I don't know. I'm just. I'm just.

>> Darin: Here's.

>> Mike: You know, when the.

>> Darin: Because the crazy thing is as good as it was. I agree with you.

>> Mike: When the.

>> Darin: I don't know why you make it.

>> Mike: With vanilla pudding in the. In the mafia movies. When they're watching the Mafia and they don't really have anything on the guy.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And they're going to use the RICO act. They don't really have anything. I don't have anything on her family yet.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: but I'm watching again. I'm watching.

>> Darin: Good luck.

>> Mike: I know I tread like, just. Just like the Mafia. I'm not going to. We're not going in until we can get everybody on the RICO act.

>> Darin: You realize her brother in law is a patron of this podcast. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he will pull that money.

>> Mike: Yeah, well. Yeah, well, he may be. May or may not be working with us. An informant, as it were.

>> Dave: Hi, I'm Dave Lay, the announcer for Irritable Dad Syndrome. Christmas is coming up soon. And what better way to show someone how much you care than a gift from this podcast? Go to irritabledadsyndrome.com and click on Store. There you'll find a wide assortment of shirts, hoodies, coffee mugs and other cool stuff. What are you waiting for? Get that special person in your life a Whompers all beef hot dog, beach blanket or venomous Beaver T shirt today@inritabledadsyndrome.com.

Darren: I started the Christmas season off right by pissing off your wife

>> Darin: This is our Christmas episode.

>> Mike: This is our Christmas episode.

>> Darin: Yes. And I started the Christmas season off right by pissing off your wife as soon as I came into the step one.

>> Mike: Okay, that's another thing. I. I am a relatively nice person. Yeah, Bess, I. I've said this many times. Is the nicest person I've ever met.

>> Darin: Very nice.

>> Mike: However, we each have our trigger topics.

>> Mike: And boy howdy, did you step on the Acme explosive trigger topic?

>> Darin: I did not mean to.

>> Mike: Did you notice how everything went cold and serious? Like it was a warm, inviting room and it just went well.

>> Darin: She's gonna be so mad at me the next time I come by. And God forbid, when we record this podcast and I have to leave and I'm like, by Beth, she's gonna be.

>> Mike: Like, screw you, dude. She's Italian, man. Do you know what that means?

>> Darin: Yes, I do.

>> Mike: Will cut your ass. And she knows people that can get rid of you. Went cold. It went cold.

>> Darin: So this. Yeah, this is what happened. I walked in and there were three rolls of wrapping paper. Christmas wrapping paper on the table, and two of them were the same.

>> Mike: And you opened your big ass mouth.

>> Darin: I just thought this would be a haha moment. I said, oh, you've got two same wrapping paper. You can't do that.

>> Mike: Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have jumped out the window at that point, that my fight or flight response triggered at that moment, literally my heart.

>> Darin: You.

>> Mike: I come the closest to having a heart attack at that moment because I had no warning that you were going to act the damn fool in my house with my wife like that, say some stupid like that, but you went right for it.

>> Darin: But this is the crazy thing, because. Because you disagree with me 94% of the time.

>> Mike: I think I agree with you on this one.

>> Darin: And you're like, no, you can't do that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because I said. I said, okay. I'm kidding about the two. Actually, I'm not. You can't buy two of the same rolls of wrapping paper. And when you wrap presents, you can't have two presents touching underneath the tree of the same paper. If you wrap two gifts.

>> Mike: No, Darren, I don't agree with you at all. I think you're crazy.

>> Darin: They can't touch you can't.

>> Mike: I don't agree with anything you're saying, and I think it's stupid.

>> Darin: Yeah. So over the years, I have, acquired. Purchased a lot of wrapping paper at the end of one Christmas, the day after, two days after, I will go. Last year, I went with my mom and we bought probably 20 rolls of wrapping paper each. Right. And it's like, you bring it home and, so I've got this ginormous box that has all my wrapping paper in it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I. The goal is to try and wrap every present in a different paper.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Do I have to do that? No.

>> Mike: It's fun. It's festive.

>> Darin: I think it is festive, too. I really do. And I can't believe that you agree with me on this, but I will wrap my presence in different paper and then go off. And I'll do. What I do is, like, earn money for my family to eat.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: And to keep the lights on.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: You know, I'm a hunter gatherer.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: I'll come home and find out that my wife has wrapped two, three, sometimes four Christmas presents in the same paper. And I'm like, what? No. God, please, no, no, no. What are you doing?

>> Mike: I agree with her 100%. I support everything she's doing in that endeavor.

>> Darin: I'm like, why do I have all of this wrapping paper, if you're going to use it to wrap six, seven presents on the. When we first started dating, she had an apartment about the size of a meat cooler at Wind Dixie. Okay. She had a very, very, very small apartment.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And she had, a little teeny, tiny tree. And she went, and what did she do? She bought one tube of wrapping paper.

>> Mike: What the hell was that?

>> Darin: And it was solid blue. And she was wrapping all her presents in the solid blue paper. And I'm just like, that ain't Christmas. You're killing me.

Gotta let the wrapping paper go. I'm a sentimental guy. I held onto that for 20 years

It's just like, you know, And I was, you know, and I, was madly just infatuated with her. And I was like. And I'm thinking, darren, you got to let this go. You got to let it go. Gotta let the wrapping paper go. And then I'm like, what are you doing? Why are you wrapping everything in one package of, Why, why?

>> Mike: You can't do that.

>> Darin: What? And she says, what does it matter? She's.

>> Mike: I mean, you're killing Christmas.

>> Darin: Yeah. And she's, you know, beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. Okay. And then I'm like, darren, let this go. This is not. This is not the hill you're gonna die on.

>> Mike: I love how you pepper these, actually. Beautiful and gorgeous. Because I know what's happening is you're listening to this right now in your house.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Through Alexa.

>> Mike: And she's staring at you with the cold, hard gaze of death. And you're pointing at. Out at the points where you're talking about how wonderful she is.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? We did that tube of blue wrapping paper.

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: The next year. Yeah. They were together. I didn't use it the year after, I didn't use it. I held onto that. I'm a sentimental guy. Okay. I held onto that wrapping paper for, 20 years. And last year I wrapped something in it and I said, hey, I wrapped something in our blue wrapping paper. She's like, I don't remember.

>> Mike: Yeah, okay.

>> Darin: You don't even remember. That's our wrapping paper. We bonded over. Even though. Yeah.

>> Mike: No, no. Yeah. Way, way, way, way, way.

Chris and Jeanine discuss the Christmas paper situation on their podcast

>> Darin: Merry Christmas, everybody.

>> Mike: Fun thing for you guys to do is if you get into a relationship, that's the first test is the Christmas paper thing. Because I, like you, grew up with a plethora, a plethora of wrapping paper. A lot, A lot of them all over the place. And it was very colorful under the tree. And one of the first times that we went to go get wrapping paper way, way early, she Got a couple of tubes of the same type of paper.

>> Darin: Who? the person.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yes. And I like you innocently. I thought I innocently was questioning what the hell are you doing? Right. And she, you know in Lord of the Rings where Galadriel gets the. She's like Frodo hands her the ring.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And she'll. I'll become a doom, a prophet. She turns like it's black and she's like a dark lord.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And everybody freaks out. And then she takes it back and she's like, I can't touch that. And you're like, jesus, what happened to the elf lady? Yeah, that's the same transformation happened just not an hour ago upstairs when you dared question. Yeah, the wrapping paper situation. And I had the same.

>> Darin: Like, I did not mean to though.

>> Mike: See, I almost turned into Gollum, dude. I almost went down on all fours and was ready to run around and chew somebody's finger off and jump in the lava. I was scared.

>> Darin: Yep. But you see, here's the thing. It's like I can cross that line with my wife because then I'm like, okay, fine, I'm sleeping on the couch. I like sleeping on the couch. Our couch is very comfortable. I can make my own breakfast. I tried, but now I've crossed the line with your wife.

>> Mike: Yeah, I was trying to be a little less spineless. I did come to your defense for a smidgen there. because I said, yeah, Darren, I agree with you. And that dark look waver. And she didn't look right at me, but she wavered over like I thought.

>> Darin: She looked through you.

>> Mike: It was the old, we're going to talk about this later.

>> Darin: we're going to talk on the ride.

>> Mike: You better not talk about this on your fun little, your fun little podcast or whatever you two middle aged dorks call that thing.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just spent 15 minutes talking about. Okay, yeah, great.

>> Mike: But yeah, I agree with it. Just one paper is all you need.

>> Darin: All you need. Hey, it's Chris and Jeanine and we're wishing you the happiest of holidays. Ho, ho, ho.

>> Mike: Happy holiday.

>> Darin: Happy holiday. That will do. Thank you.

If you're from West Virginia, I think your state sucks

I mentioned that I went to North Carolina for Thanksgiving to visit my brother in law and his wife and everything else. Okay, so our gps, when we were driving down there, tried to take us an unfamiliar route. Yeah, no, we, we don't do that. You can either go over and down or you can go down and over. We usually go down and then over. Okay. Because that's the way we're familiar with.

>> Mike: That's the way the good Lord intended.

>> Darin: Yeah, exactly. So we went the way we knew pretty much on the way back. I was driving in the morning, and Libby set the GPS in her car. She didn't set it to avoid toll roads. Okay. And it took us the way back that we didn't want to go.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm driving, and next thing I know, here we are in West Virginia. Hey, what happened? I'm going to tell you something right now. If you're from West Virginia, I think your state sucks. And here's why. Two reasons. One, why do I have to pay? There were.

>> Mike: We went through the episode, I get a divorce. This is the episode. You're going to cause me to get a divorce.

>> Darin: I went through three toll roads, three toll things to drive for the pleasure of driving through West Virginia. Four dollars and a quarter each time. That's like. It's like $50.

>> Mike: They plow the. They plow the possums off the road.

>> Darin: Why am I paying to drive through.

>> Mike: West Virginia for them to plow the possums off the road.

>> Darin: I don't have to pay to drive through Ohio. I don't have to pay to go up 75 north for the pleasure of driving through Knoxville. I don't have to pay to do that, but I paid a lot of money.

>> Mike: Turnpike.

>> Darin: Sorry, kids, we can't eat. Daddy had to pay $50 a drive through West Virginia.

>> Mike: Yeah. And it's like the trees, Wild, wonderful West Virginia.

>> Darin: And their. Their slogan says, almost heaven, my ass. Yeah, well, if that's what heaven looks.

>> Mike: Like when m. You get to a Tudors.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's okay. But here. Yeah. The saving grace.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. I was pissed because I was not having a good time in West Virginia until I saw a sign that said Tudor's Biscuit World. This exit. I don't know how many times you've mentioned Tudor's Biscuit World.

>> Mike: It's near and dear to my heart.

>> Darin: It's more than once, okay. And I'm like, oh, oh, okay. Finally something. And Libby's like, what are we doing? I said, we're stopping to get something to eat. And she, where are we going? I said, tudor's Biscuit World. And she's like, what's that? Because it sounds like an amusement park. Biscuit World. Come see the world's largest gravy ladle.

>> Mike: They should make an amusement park for Jewish Biscuit World.

>> Darin: And, I said, mike raves about it, and I'm hungry. And she goes, okay. And then she wakes up the kids and we go in there and our mouths drop. Dropped. oh, okay. Yeah, the, the Mountaineer biscuit. Okay. Which was country ham, egg, cheese, and a hash brown patty on this mammoth sized biscuit.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. $4.

>> Darin: Yeah. Or some. It's crazy.

>> Mike: And you don't have to eat for another day. You're done. Yeah, you're done.

>> Darin: Biscuits are like the size of the plate.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Well, not that big. They're size of a saucer.

>> Mike: So my jam is the golden eagle, which is very similar to. Everything's the same, except instead of country ham, it's Canadian bacon.

>> Darin: Okay. I got the country ham. Anytime I can get country ham, I get country ham.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Country ham makes bacon look like a country ham is, amazing. And if I still lived in Tennessee or when I grew up in Virginia, that's what I'd be eating.

Tudor's Biscuit World is a game changer

And my blood pressure would be through the roof and I'd say, I don't care.

>> Mike: So I didn't.

>> Darin: I'm going to reach out to Tudor's Biscuit World and see if they will be sponsors of this podcast. The other game changer.

>> Mike: I always get the Golden Eagle biscuit. And then I get the gravy platter over one biscuit. I used to get it over two biscuits. But I want to live to see, you know, my kids grow up.

>> Darin: I got the super breakfast. Yeah.

>> Darin: Fried eggs.

>> Mike: Did you try any of the gravy?

>> Darin: Country ham, a biscuit, hash browns or tater tots? I got the tater tots.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And the gravy. And I dipped the tater tots in the gravy. I dipped my eggs in the gravy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I put the eggs on top of my biscuit. Okay. And. And then I'm eating them with my fork because I'm an American.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then since they're fried eggs, the biscuit sops up the yellow goo. And then I would sop up the gravy. I would. I even put my ham in the gravy. Yeah, I put my straw in the gravy.

>> Mike: God, it was good.

>> Darin: Tudor's Biscuit World, man.

>> Mike: It's the bomb. Yeah, it's the bomb.

>> Darin: But outside of that, I did not have a good time in West Virginia. Okay? And I want somebody to send me my money back.

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>> Darin: That's right.

Over Thanksgiving, we visited Bess's sister in West Virginia

>> Dave: Now back to you guys in the studio.

>> Mike: So we also went to West Virginia.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Over the Thanksgiving holiday, we visited, Bess's sister.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And her husband, who was the listener of the week for seven weeks. Several weeks in a row. And really, he was the only listener. Those.

>> Darin: He holds the record.

>> Mike: Holds the record.

>> Darin: We haven't had listener of the week in a while. I need to bring that back.

>> Mike: And one of the funnest things about going to visit them is you never quite know what to expect when you walk into their house.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And this time was no exception. We go in now when we've had Thanksgiving there in the past, which we typically go there for Thanksgiving, they have. Their bottom floor of their house is like a banquet hall. It's huge. And they have this huge table down there. And. And everybody sits around there, and they have, like, all this stuff, and it's a big thing. And I went down there. I wanted to see what the. How many seats were at the table, how many people are going to be showing up. And I am, I run into probably about 10 to 15 pinball machines.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: All in all, working. One of them, by the way, is the Iron Maiden pinball machine.

>> Darin: Nice.

>> Mike: full with Iron Maiden tunes. And you pick the tune and you plays it, and Eddie. And it's Satan, and it's awesome.

>> Darin: What tune did it play?

>> Mike: I played all of them. I. I spent more time. It plays. Yeah. Wasted years. Power slave. I love the way Submariners. Aces high.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: can I play with madness?

>> Darin: Lick it up.

>> Mike: No, no, that's,

>> Darin: That's Kiss. Yeah.

There's a pinball league down near the pond where 300 chickens live

>> Mike: Anyway, we get the story about that there's a pinball league. And actually the pinball league is going right now. We may actually be streaming at the pinball league.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: because Jim streams the pinball league out, and I was like, we need to stream irritable dad syndrome in so they can watch us while they're playing pinball and other people can watch them play pinball.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't think you like that idea.

>> Darin: Anyway, the point is, it makes sense.

>> Mike: So we also always do, like, a 5K or a run or something. They have a pond and you know, they've run around. Charlie. That's all Charlie wanted to do was run around the pond.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I want to go down. I want to run around the pond. So Bess and Charlie. And Bess's sister, Laura.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: They decide, I think, I think my, my niece Maria, I think. I don't know how many people went down there, but they decide that they're going to go down there. I. While this is happening and playing Iron man pinball.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay. I can look out the window and see the pond. All right.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Ah, another point of this. See, they used to have a trailer that they lived in down on the other side of the pond while they were building this house. And they lease it out. And the people that live there had a couple of chickens, and then a couple of chickens became four chickens, and then it became eight chickens. And now there's about 300 chickens.

>> Darin: I can explain why. Yeah, the chickens were having sex. Hello.

>> Mike: Well, no, they lay eggs and then they exchange the eggs for baby chickens. But there's, there's about.

>> Darin: Are you saying there was some osmosis.

>> Mike: Osmosis going on?

>> Darin: Life finds a way.

>> Mike: Some budding,

>> Darin: See, I was going to say budding, but I didn't think anybody would get that.

>> Mike: Don't care if they get it or not. There's like 300 chickens running around down there. So I'm in the middle of playing Iron Maiden. Can I play with madness? Shooting, the pinball, everything. And Jim is right next to me. He's playing a pinball machine next to me. And then his phone rings and he looks out the window and he says, okay, I'll be down there in just a minute. And he didn't say what he was going to do. He just said, I'll be down there in a minute.

>> Darin: Yep.

>> Mike: He's gone for a few minutes, maybe five minutes. And then I look and Jim is walking back from the pond up the hill with a bloody dead chicken, carrying it by its feet.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: And he keeps walking towards the door that goes into the house.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Now, I know what you guys are thinking.

>> Darin: It's bad luck to carry a dead chicken.

>> Mike: It's bad luck to carry a dead chicken into a house. But this is a nice house. This is not a house that you would typically expect animal carcasses to be carried into willfully and gleefully.

>> Darin: Kind of like that opening scene from Texas. Chainsaw Massacre.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: All the feet, beaks hanging from the.

>> Mike: And so I let the ball drop on the Iron Maiden pinball machine, you know, well, I'm not paying attention to it anymore.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And Jim indeed walks in the door, and I look over and just in the cheery manner, he says something like, we're gonna have some chicken soup tonight. I'm like, okay, you psychopath, what did you do? Did you just go down? At this point, I don't know what happened. Did you just go down there and club a chicken to death?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Or what happened. So the story is that the aforementioned group went down around the pond, and there was a chicken that was off by itself. The dog came with them.

>> Darin: This is how every horror.

>> Mike: Their dog Rosie came with them. And Charlie named. Bad dog, named the errant chicken. The errant live chicken, Bob.

>> Darin: I thought the dog's name was Bob. No, no, no.

>> Mike: The chicken's name was Bob. The dog's name is Rosie.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: About a minute to a minute and a half after Charlie named Bob, huh? Rosie came over like a wolf and clamped down on Bob and killed him. Shook him until he was dead, and then was running around with his bloody carcass. And that's when Jim was called down there to figure out this issue. Now, if I were in Jim's place, I.

Charlie killed a chicken he named Bob that had just been killed

>> Darin: If I can remind everybody that this is our Christmas.

>> Mike: This is our Christmas. Merry Christmas. He goes down there to the scene of the crime. You know, like, I. I would bring a trash bag or I may throw it in the pond or something. Yeah. I wouldn't carry it back into my house because I don't know what to do with it then.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: and he began. He had a knife, and he proceeded to. They have a sink in the basement there.

>> Darin: Ah.

>> Mike: Like a full kitchen down there. He proceeded to rip it apart. And he got the breasts. He got the. He got a couple of legs and haunches. you know, all that stuff. I. I had to. Because I am who I am. I yelled out, save the neck for me, Jim. Yeah, but.

>> Darin: Yeah, but. And then he cut the head off of it. Like you. Like, they.

>> Mike: I wasn't watching. I went back to, You know, it's like one of those old 80s movies where something horrible is happening, and the kid just goes back to reading their book or watching their show. I go back to Iron Maiden. I don't. There's something horrible is happening over there. I'm playing that. And that's when, Charlie came in. He's like, did you see that dead chicken? And I said, yeah. He said, that's Bob and the Halloween. You know, the. The. The piano thing.

>> Darin: Halloween.

>> Mike: Like the horror movie that. That popped up. I'm like, how do you know his name is Bob? He's like, I named it Bob before. Before Rosie killed it. That's okay. Oh, all right. Do you want to talk about Bob? He's like, jim says, we're gonna cook Bob. I was like, okay, are you concerned about Bob? And he said, yeah, it makes me a little sad. I'm like, okay, buddy. That's. You know. He's like, but we're gonna have chicken soup later. Yeah. It's like, okay, let's look on the bright side of things.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: so we go through the day. I forget about that. I put that out of my mind. Bob's in the slow cooker and the upstairs kitchen.

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Mike: For most of the day. And then later on that night, I'd forgotten about it. We had, like, a little party, and then Charlie walks around with a bowl of chicken soup, and I'm like, is that. Are you eating Bob Cream of Bob? Yeah, he was eating, Bob soup. Being a parent, how was it? I hear it was great. I couldn't bring. I don't want. I can't bring myself to eat something that was named, you know.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I thought I'd seen it all as a, as a. Like, a parent. Not all, but I'd seen enough. I've never.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Been. Nothing in being a parent in Ohio prepares you for.

>> Darin: That's not in the manual.

>> Mike: Your kid eating a chicken he named Bob that had just been killed in front of him.

>> Darin: Yeah. Earlier.

>> Mike: Earlier, like, literally.

>> Darin: No, I wouldn't know what to do with that. I really wouldn't.

>> Mike: Yeah. So we haven't talked about it. he'll hear about it on the podcast. I guess.

>> Darin: He doesn't listen to the podcast.

>> Mike: No, but he will, like, years later.

Dave Lay: We had turkey soup for Christmas. It was pretty good

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: What did dad talk about? Oh, here's this horrifying story.

>> Darin: on their Christmas special.

>> Mike: Their Christmas special.

>> Darin: Did Bess have any chicken soup?

>> Mike: I don't know if she did or not. she thought it was hilarious. so I posted a picture of Jim Carrey and Bob with, ah, Charlie looking on.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: For this episode. And I heard Bess start cackling from the other room when she saw that that was posted.

>> Dave: Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and this is my friend Pepe.

>> Darin: Hi, everybody.

>> Dave: We would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas.

>> Darin: That's right, Dave.

>> Mike: Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. Happy holidays. I did Eat turkey. The turkey did not. Was not named.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I was fine with eating that turkey.

>> Darin: Well, yeah, we had turkey. And then with the leftovers. I've heard of people who do this. We've never done it. My sister in law's, stepmother made turkey soup.

>> Mike: Your father's sister's boyfriend's husband's former roommate.

>> Darin: Exactly, exactly. They were going to come, but they got caught in trash.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So she made this ginormous pot of turkey soup. Okay. It was pretty good.

>> Mike: I've never had turkey.

>> Darin: I have not either. It's the leftover turkey with, onion, celery, carrot, the drippings, the broth. Yeah. Some water.

>> Mike: I think it's illegal in Ohio. I think you're required.

>> Darin: It was really good. Okay. So the next time I have turkey, I am making turkey soup.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Usually I make turkey salad. Yeah, yeah. Which is, you grind up the turkey and celery and mayonnaise. Boom.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You can put grape in it or you can put, like, other things in it.

>> Mike: You can do whatever the hell you want.

>> Darin: Your salad, my house. Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Dry it in whiskey and heat it.

>> Darin: Whiskey soup. This whiskey's name is Bob.

Speaking of Thanksgiving traditions, we watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Speaking of Thanksgiving.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: One of our traditions that we do, we have done this every year, is we watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I don't know how many times I've seen it. 20, 30. Yeah, I have no idea how many times I've seen it. I've never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before. Lucky thing for you that cop passed by when he did. Otherwise you'd be lifting up your schnutz to tie your shoes. I'm sorry. That's terrible. Do you have any idea how glad I am I didn't kill you?

>> Mike: Do you have any idea how glad.

>> Darin: I'd be if you had this time around? You ever notice something after the 20th 30th view?

>> Mike: Yep.

So Steve Martin gets in the shower in the hotel, and when he gets out

>> Darin: So Steve Martin gets in the shower in the hotel, and when he gets out of the shower, that's when he notices that Dell has used all the other towels, that the floor is soaking wet, and that the sink is full. Full of his socks and stuff.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: how did he not notice that before he got in the shower? Yeah, right.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: How did he not notice that the sink had dirty socks in it when he was washing his face?

>> Darin: Exactly. It's like he has no peripheral vision.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: Whatsoever. He walks in, looks straight at the mirror, starts splashing water on a sink, and then.

>> Mike: This smells bad.

>> Darin: Hey. Hey. Neil, will you Wash my socks or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: One of my favorite. One of my favorite scenes in the movie. I mean, that's one of those movies that just. It's like awesome scene after awesome scene after awesome scene. One of the little ones is when they're driving the burnout car and they get pulled over, and John Candy's like, radio still works. I imagine that with all everything else.

>> Darin: Clear as a bell.

>> Mike: Clear as a bell.

>> Darin: I like how they finally got to the point where the blue moon of Kentucky keep on shining. No, and that's another thing. When they're in the car.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So he rented the car in St. Louis.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Okay. And they're driving to Chicago. I did my own research.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Chicago is like, four and a half hours away.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: And when they rented the car.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It was still daylight.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That's when Steve Marner got picked up by his nuts.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Still daylight. And they're driving to Chicago. Why did it take him so long to drive four hours? Because he drove a little bit. Then they, switched, and then John Candy was driving a little bit, and that's when they had the accident.

>> Mike: Is any of this explained by. There's, like, an extended cut that, like, fills stuff.

>> Darin: There is. And, I. Libby actually got it for me last year.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But I don't have a 4K player.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: So we returned it. It's got well over an hour and a half of something of. Of deleted scenes in it. Okay, maybe that explains it.

>> Mike: It might.

>> Darin: But the third thing was when they're laying in bed together and why. Why did you kiss my ear? Why are you holding my hand? Where's your other hand? Between two pillows.

>> Mike: That's our pillows.

>> Darin: Okay. He's laying on his side. Yeah. Yeah. Which hand? And how do you. Are you a contortionist? How do you get. Did he, like, over and then put it between, like. Or underneath?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. Right in there in the sweet spot.

>> Mike: Get it?

>> Darin: I don't.

>> Mike: Yeah.

Another great movie to watch on Thanksgiving is Free Birds with Woody Harrelson

>> Darin: Another great movie to watch on Thanksgiving. You'll probably disagree. I don't know if you watch. It was Free Birds with Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson. They're turkeys, and they decide that they're going to bust into the US Government where they have this time machine.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: they're gonna go back and they're gonna cancel Thanksgiving so they'll stop killing the turkeys. And I'm telling you right now, it's hilarious. Woody Harrelson and Owen Wilson and Amy Poehler are fantastic.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Dave: Who's your favorite reindeer? Tell us now at irritable dad syndrome.com.

>> Mike: Continuing with the Christmas episode theme.

Andrew left a fried egg in the middle of the hallway early Christmas morning

>> Mike: I'm a little bit. A little bit under the weather. All right. and I.

>> Darin: You look fantastic.

>> Mike: Thank you.

>> Darin: You're welcome.

>> Mike: And so when I'm like that, I wake up often in the middle of the night. And I woke up probably around 2:33am the water that I normally have by the side of my bed was empty and I needed to go downstairs to get more water. So I'm already annoyed by that.

>> Darin: Why don't you get water in your bathroom?

>> Mike: I will from now on. Especially because of this story.

>> Darin: Did you never think about that?

>> Mike: No. I'm walking. I'm walking down the well. I also wanted to do. I had some Daquil that I wanted to take down here as well. I don't do Nyquil because I don't know, I want to. I have to go to work. I want to wake up and be able to go to work.

>> Darin: You start seeing things.

>> Mike: I'm walking down the hallway and I step in something in on the heel of my foot, cold and wet. And I think, Andrew left a fried egg in the middle of the hallway. That's what I distinctly remember that.

>> Darin: As well as I know Andrew. He probably has done that before because he's your kid.

>> Mike: So then I'm pissed that he left a fried egg there. You know, obviously my brain is hazy. I turn back around and I see, the moonlight is coming through the window of the door.

>> Darin: Very romantic.

>> Mike: Perfectly illuminating a, pile of dog.

>> Darin: Ah.

>> Mike: With a perfectly formed heel in it. With a little scuff of poos coming after. I don't even know what to do.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I. Some thing or someone has upon this floor. Now there's a lot of suspects. I know it wasn't Bess.

>> Darin: Right. Because.

>> Mike: She was in the room with me.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: The whole time. She wasn't. Her.

>> Darin: Her alibi is solid.

>> Mike: alibi is solid. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Andrew because I think if he's gonna. In the hallway, it's gonna be the upstairs hallway. He's not gonna.

>> Darin: He's not stopped doing that years.

>> Mike: Yeah. He's not gonna come all the way down. Charlie likes to fall asleep in the living room.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's possible that he came around the hallway and right there. But this was an especially large. You've seen booba.

>> Darin: I have.

>> Mike: And you've seen marbles. A physicist and a biologist would look at these two dogs and say, of the two booba is going to have the larger movements because Marbles is a smaller dog. However, I would argue. Yeah. That Marbles, his poop is that of a dog three times his size.

>> Darin: Merry Christmas, everybody.

>> Mike: Huge.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: We'd like to welcome our Dayton viewers. Huge pie. Like a massive pot.

>> Darin: You would eat an entire buffet at PF Chang's.

>> Mike: Yeah, it was, you know, I didn't measure the temperature, but it was so big that I would think that even though the outside was cold, the center was probably gooey and warm.

Dad stepped in poo and now we're out of toilet paper

Another factor comes into play here.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Is that we are out of paper towels at this moment.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: You can't just leave in your hallway no toilet paper. I couldn't find any toilet paper downstairs. And at this point, I'm so annoyed I'm waking everybody in the house up because dad can't find toilet paper and dad stepped in poo. When really the one responsible for me stepping in poo was two people. One me and two marbles. Not a people, but close enough.

>> Darin: Right. But you're positive it was marbles.

>> Mike: But my first thing you did, I went in, I went to wash my foot off, in the sink. And then I disinfected. I did everything I needed to do to wash the. From my heel. And then I threw that towel away, basically, and I went back upstairs. I announced to everyone who was slightly.

>> Darin: Awake, what time was this?

>> Mike: Three. At this point. It's 3:05. 3:10 in the morning.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: There's in the hallway and I can't find any toilet paper or paper towels. And Bess from the bed said, I think there's some in the kids bathroom. So I go in there, show enough, it's in there. Then I'm downstairs with the, formula 409, the pet don't poop here, spray, bleach, Kroger bag, everything, spraying this. And I'm realizing I'm not going back to sleep tonight. I have to get up at 5:30. I'm not going back to sleep for two and a half hours. Cleaned all that up, threw it out and went back up to bed. Laid there fuming at this dog for a half hour, who was looking at me when I walked back in because he was in bed comfortable while I was cleaning up his feces.

>> Darin: Was this last night?

>> Mike: This was last night.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: It's part of the reason why I'm in a bad mood today.

Sometimes my wife can be difficult to shop for

>> Darin: Well, and then I think I made it even worse because I woke up at 4 and cannot sleep. Absolutely cannot sleep. So I Got up and I was spot checking one of our podcasts and I realized that the one that we had, the lady and her license plate.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: there was a revised version that wasn't loaded by, Tiffany. We're firing her.

>> Mike: Yeah, she's no.

>> Darin: Teresa.

>> Mike: Teresa.

>> Darin: Teresa.

>> Mike: Let's fire Tiffany too.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah. so I was like, well, I'm going to text Mike now so that when he wakes up, he'll see it. And then.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah. Mike was driving to work when I saw that and I, so, and I'm trying to download that thing while driving. Yes, I did that. And I, I, it wasn't until, I got to like the parking lot and I was able to get a connection to do all that stuff. But yeah, it's been a fun day.

>> Darin: Sorry.

>> Mike: It's all right. No, it's all right. I was mad at you for less than half a second because how many times have I left an F, bomb in there or you left an F bomb or something. There's been, there's been other situations.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy maker in the world. I'm a cotton headed ninny. Muggins is best hard to shop for.

>> Mike: Yes, and no.

>> Darin: Okay. Because sometimes Libby can be.

>> Mike: Yeah, I found Bess's present in two seconds.

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: Of, like I'm starting shopping now. Holy crap. That's, I have to get that for her. But I, I gave it. See, when you have kids, m, you got to pick something that the kid's gonna get your wife.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You know, so it's like, Andrea, why don't you get that for mom? yeah, exactly why she likes it. Just get it right, you know, and then I, I, I still have to figure something out.

>> Darin: So sometimes my wife can be, difficult to shop for. Yeah.

>> Mike: Sometimes buy a wrapping paper, wrap it up in multi types of wrapping paper.

>> Darin: People think that I'm copying out or I'm taking the easy way out. But I do like to buy her gift cards. Okay, you can't screw up a gift card. One year I bought her, I gave her like a hundred dollars cash. She, she took it to the bank and changed it for 520s.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: but she likes gift cards because she likes to shop. She does enjoy shopping. Okay. So sometimes I'll get her the gift card. But one year she wanted shoes and I said, no, I'm not doing this because when you Ask for shoes. I never know, the style, the size, if you're. What color. I don't know any of that stuff. And it's a guessing game. And women's clothes and women's shoes are just an enigma wrapped inside a mystery. I don't understand anything about.

>> Mike: I don't go there at all. I have no idea. I don't. I don't understand any.

>> Darin: So she says, I'm going to make it really easy for you. I found this pair of shoes. Okay. So she gives me all the information. She gives me the store, the address. Okay. Okay. She gives me the UPC coat. Yeah. Okay. The color, the price.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And the size.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I've got six things to go on. I'm like, I can do this. Yeah. I go to the store at that address. Okay. And then I find an employee.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I said, can you help me find these? Because I've got, the photograph. And she says, sure. So we go, we find the, the shoe, the size, the color.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It matched the UPC and it was the price.

So all six things were a match. And I saved Christmas. Yeah. Wow. Thanks. You were so proud of yourself

So all six things were a match.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: There's no possible way I'm gonna.

>> Mike: This is the. This is the cup of a carpenter.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've chosen wisely.

>> Darin: Yeah. So. So I buy the shoes. I, Go home, I wrap the shoes.

>> Mike: Yep.

>> Darin: Christmas, morning, she opens them.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Darin: Thanks. These are great. Oh, you got me the thing. Yeah. Great. And I saved Christmas. Right.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Two days later, she returns them. I was like, what?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: She goes, I changed my mind.

>> Mike: You were so proud of yourself.

>> Darin: Yeah, I was so proud of myself. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: And then something I love doing, is I'm good, really, really good at when I wrap my presence that nobody can tell what it is.

>> Mike: I rap like a beast. I put like a ninja. I'm a good rapper.

>> Darin: I put marbles inside it or, or pencils. You know, you put stuff in there that, you know. Or if it makes noise, you stuff it really thick with towels or old socks to where it doesn't slide.

>> Mike: Put a live rat in there.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Chicken.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Bob in there. Yeah. And, nobody can guess what I put in the box except for Libby. She can pick up any box. She goes, oh, is that robe like m. How do you know is the robe? Yeah. How. How m. So. And then she started stealing all my tactics for wrapping gifts. Right. She'll put marbles or change or, beer mugs or something in it. She'll make a light present. Heavy.

So do you have trouble keeping Secrets of what you bought for your wife

>> Mike: So do you have trouble keeping Secrets of what you bought. No, I suck. I think this is one of the things that Bess has learned to just deal with with me is it drives me crazy to not give hints and not want someone to try to guess what I got. So I will buy her a present in October. That has to make it to December.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I'll announce it. Like, I come, I'm home. She's like, somewhere else, she's doing something. I could easily put this in a hiding spot and go about my day and just never mention it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But no, I announce, I got your Christmas present.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You wanna know what it is? No, I don't want to know what it is. It's not a book, is it a book?

>> Darin: Ah. Damn it.

>> Mike: Okay. I bet you don't know where I got it. You probably got it at Barnes and Noble. Yeah. One is your favorite author. Okay. Well, you stop and then I end up and I try to give it to her. And then for like two months she's like, oh, I'm gonna get that book by the thing, you know? And it's like, yeah, I'm terrible. I suck at it.

>> Darin: So one year I bought her, she likes, body pillow. She lays on her side and she uses a body pillow to elevate her knees for her back. Okay. And her body pillar looked like.

>> Mike: Body pillar.

>> Darin: She had body pillar. Her body pillow looked like it had died from botulism.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Just desperately needed, To be burned and replaced. And I'm like, I'm buying her a new body pillow. Pillow. Now this, Listen, this wasn't her main gift. It was a gift. I also bought her like some candles and new PJs and pots and pans.

>> Mike: A vacuum cleaner.

>> Darin: I don't do that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I do not do that. I do not do that. I'm stupid. I'm not that stupid. So I bought her a body pillow. And it's. It's big, right? And so what we did was we had this giant box that, used to have a baby gate.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. A really long box. I put the body pillow in that box, wrapped it up, and when nobody was home, I took all the presents out from underneath the tree and put this giant box under the tree and then covered it back with the boxes. Now this is where we had like, like five or six for Jacob, five or six for Cameron stuff. My mom heard me. I mean, it was just covered. And Christmas morning I'm like handing out, distributing the gifts and like what is that? Huh? What grabbed it? What is that? You just start pulling it and just keeps going and going and going. And he's like, what happened? What the hell is that? Yeah. Like, how long has that been under there for? A couple of weeks. And I have never been more proud of myself. Yeah.

>> Mike: Until.

>> Darin: Until Mike. A couple years ago, I bought Libby this big coat, and I wrapped it up in a pretty big box. Right. She's going to know what it is. Okay. I don't like people knowing what I got her. I wanted poster frame. Yeah. For the movie room. So Libby wraps the poster frames in their poster frame thing. It's like. That's a poster frame?

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: It's kind of like wrapping a tennis racket in.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: A bowling ball.

>> Mike: Yeah. Or a dead chicken without, putting in a box.

Go to YouTube and watch the Star Wars Holiday Special, and it'll put you in spirit

>> Darin: So I know I'm getting poster frames, and they're behind the tree.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So what did I do? I wrapped Libby's coat, this big box, and I put it behind the poster frames.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Her big present hiding out in the open for, like, three weeks. And Christmas morning, I was like, well, I'm gonna see. What the. Oh. Oh, my God. What's this giant present here? Oh, my. What this? What is that? Yeah. And then I love one night.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Dave: The Star Wars Holiday Special. Sponsored by General Motors. People building transportation to serve people.

>> Darin: I was on YouTube, and if you go to YouTube, you can look up the Star Wars Holiday Special, and it is horrible. It is so horrible. And I have friends who will watch it from time to time. It's just like. It's so bad that they. But I'm m. Like, I don't know how you get through it. It's not even so bad. It's entertaining. It's so bad.

>> Mike: It's just bad, bad.

>> Darin: It's just really, really, really bad. And you got to wonder, what were they thinking?

>> Mike: That's it.

>> Darin: I'm turning back. I know your family's waiting.

>> Mike: I know it's an important day.

>> Darin: All right, we'll give it a try.

>> Mike: I'll set your coordinates.

>> Darin: Won't jump, Bob. I'll get you back there in time, pal. Trust me. It's really, really bad. Really bad. yeah. So go to YouTube and watch the stream Star Wars Holiday Special, and it'll put you in the Christmas spirit.

>> Mike: Hid Livy's presents in the dryer. I did.

>> Darin: I said that when you're on Facebook. I said I hid Libby's Christmas present in the oven. She'll never find it there. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: I Did one year, I just hit everything right out in the open. Like, everybody, the kids, everybody's presence was just, like, on a table in here. Yeah. I mean, it was just around enough stuff to where you couldn't see it. The problem was I still missed some when it was, like, time to wrap them. I still, like, oh, crap, that's still in there. That needs to be dealt with.

>> Darin: we had the boys Christmas present in the basement one year, and it took us about two hours to find the presents. Couldn't find them anywhere, so.

Mike Odle and Darren Cox welcome you to Irritable Dad's

All right, listen, we're gonna wrap this episode up. I want to thank Chris and Janine. Yeah, I think Shadow Stevens. I want to thank Dave Lay and his buddy Pepe for sending out little holiday messages on this episode. And we want to thank you for listening. And I want to mention again, December 22nd, WGRR. Mike and I are going to be on the radio with Chris and Janine on their retirement episode. That's going to be so much fun. And I, want to mention that if you still haven't bought your special someone a gift for Christmas, you can go to irritable dad syndrome.com and do that.

>> Mike: You can still buy that damn T shirt you all seem to love, but nobody seems to buy that one. Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: And while you're@innritable dadcenter.com you can download every episode we have, and you can, you can drop us some, cash. Give Mikey and Darren a little Christmas present for,

>> Mike: Christmas.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Cover the cost of this godforsaken show.

>> Darin: We're gonna go, guys. Merry Christmas. We hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.

>> Mike: If you are a new viewer.

>> Darin: Hi. Hi. Welcome to Irritable Dad's.

>> Mike: Welcome. Yeah. so pleasant. We're broadcasting. Can you hear me in your thing?

>> Darin: I can't hear you in my thing.

>> Mike: This is going to be a terrible show.

>> Darin: It probably is. Did you hear that?