IDS #258 - Don't Forget Your Mop

Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren

>> Mike: Hey, Mike. Your whole thing is just up. Derp. I used to get in so much trouble for doing that. I was like, don't do that around the kids. They're gonna think that's okay. Now they do.

>> Darin: It is okay.

>> Mike: Derp.

>> Darin: I started doing that taking Cameron to school. See you, Cameron Derp.

>> Mike: So me and my, me and my, me and my friends in this, is in grade school, we were extremely mature for our age.

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh, and my friend, I'm sure my.

>> Mike: Friend Jeff, he would walk up to me go, I'm Odle. You know, And I'd be like, I'm Jeff. So I just started doing it the best. And I get more and more horrendous with it as I, as I go. this weekend it was like I just walked in the room. I'm best dude. She's like, can you. What is that? It's not good. Yeah, it's not good. I apologize if I've offended anyone.

>> Darin: I don't know offended is the word. maybe annoyed. I like an escalator, man.

>> Mike: Cause an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs.

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. It's crunchy on the outside and creamy in the center. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Mike: Hey, I'm Mike.

>> Darin: I'm Darren.

>> Mike: This is episode 258M of the ongoing and critically acclaimed comedy docudrama Irritable Dad Syndrome coming at you live. Critically acclaimed on tape.

>> Darin: Oh yeah.

>> Mike: From.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Mike's Basement.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: But you don't know that.

>> Darin: Welcome to the show.

>> Mike: As far as you know, we're in a multi million dollar studio.

>> Darin: Well, we've told people a thousand times.

>> Mike: We'Re in your by famous.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Things.

>> Darin: We've got a camera there that clearly shows we do basement.

>> Mike: Can I say something?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And from this angle, I don't know that you see it, but I do have. And this is going to be great for an audio podcast.

>> Darin: Perfect.

>> Mike: I have the eye.

>> Mike: Poster.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: the old thingy there. It. The way it's reflected in there, looks like the pupil's going way down. It looks like a wonky eye. Every time I look up there and it's.

>> Darin: Nobody can tell what that is.

>> Mike: Bit off putting. Not at all.

>> Darin: You should be off putting.

>> Mike: You played in a movie called the Hunger Games. Yeah. Isn't that your life story? You shouldn't say that. That's off putting.

>> Darin: You should be off putting. You're fat. You shouldn't eat any more pudding. Yeah.


Last episode I teased something about Jennifer Lawrence. Then I didn't talk about it

>> Mike: Speaking of that I'm going to now. Last. Last episode I teased something.

>> Darin: Jennifer Lawrence.

>> Mike: Yeah. We got tons of emails. we were put on blast on our Instagram. People that follow us on the X. The Twitters threatened to never listen to us again because I teased fiber and M. Then I didn't talk about.

>> Darin: You didn't talk about it. We got distracted.


Mike: Fiber. It's marketed as a probiotic, helpful fiber

>> Mike: So I'm going to talk about things that are important to 50 plus year old men on this show. Fiber. And concert tickets.

>> Darin: Let me tell you all something.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Podcasting. It's not an exact science.

>> Mike: It's not.

>> Darin: We do everything we possibly can to bring you the best quality podcast each and every week. And sometimes we miss the mark. Hey, what happened lately? We've missed everything even close to the mark.

>> Mike: We've had to fire our entire quality control department.

>> Darin: God. Our head of research and development.

>> Mike: Good lord.

>> Darin: Audio guy. Fired.

>> Mike: Gone.

>> Darin: Our editor.

>> Mike: Fired. Lighting technician. The grip.

>> Darin: We're hiring, by the way. interns. Yeah. Yeah. Our summer internship program.

>> Mike: the Navigator. He's gone.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Fiber. So I am nothing if not a dip. I'm easy to sell to. Okay. I am Facebook's dream. Look around you. 20 to 30% of the came from me being on the Facebooks when I shouldn't have been and clicking Shop now Buy. And this is one of them. I'm not going to say the brand because I don't want to get in trouble, but it is marketed.

>> Darin: Why would that get you in trouble?

>> Mike: Because I'm going to say, things about it. It's marketed as a probiotic, helpful fiber. And they had a nice graphic that showed a clean poo.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: If you can imagine there's such a thing in this ad. This is how stupid I am. This is what I fell for. It showed a dirty poo. A poo that had little, little bits all over it and, and then like tons of toilet paper. And then it showed a bright shiny poo with a little gleam off of it. It said make your poos clean. and.

>> Darin: Okay, okay, okay.

>> Mike: I thought that's gonna be nice. Help. Help your gut health. All those fun things. So I ordered it. I want to help my gut health.

>> Darin: Sure.

>> Mike: I want all these fun things and I get it. And I was excited and I ripped open the package. I told Bess about it. It's been here for about a week.

>> Mike: I'm terrified to take. I'm going to read to you the warning on it.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: The warning takes up half the damn package. Warning. Taking this product without adequate fluid may Cause choking, joking. Do not take this product if you have difficulty swallowing. I don't have difficulty swallowing.

>> Darin: But you do now.

>> Mike: But I'm concerned that maybe my swallowing skill, is not where it need. I've never, I've never measured it.

>> Darin: They could do the same thing on a bottle of Nestle Quick.

>> Mike: They could.

>> Darin: Do not drink this milk if you have a problem swallowing.

>> Mike: Here, now, now tell. This is the next sentence. This next sentence, it really ramps up, okay? It starts out easy and then it gets, it gets hardcore. If you experience chest pain, vomiting, or trouble swallowing or breathing after consuming product, seek immediate medical attention.

>> Darin: Oh, duh. No.

>> Mike: Now I did not need to be told that if I have chest pain and I can't breathe and you're vomiting and I'm vomiting blood coming out of your ears, that I should contact medical.

>> Darin: M. But who is this four hour erection?

>> Mike: Who's, who's the person that is currently not breathing in chest pains on the floor, vomiting like. Let me see the warnings on that fiber.

>> Darin: Does it have an 800 number?

>> Mike: Mike, hold. on. We're good.

>> Darin: Okay.


Take this product at least two hours before or after medicines, instructions say

We should call these.

>> Mike: If you are taking medication and or have a medical condition, consult your doctor before use.

>> Darin: I love how they're grammatically correct by saying and. Or.

>> Mike: Yeah, bulk forming fibers, like whatever that word is, husk, may affect how well medicines work. Take this product at least two hours before or after medicines and then the little tagline at the end, before or before or after. So give yourself a wide berth. and I would recommend putting down a tarp based on what I've read.

>> Darin: Here, take it outside next to the hose.

>> Mike: So I went to the Internet, okay. I went to the interwebs and I, you know, I was going to ask people, what the hell? Who was this big of enough sucker. Who else was on Facebook At 2 in the morning on a Sunday and bought this? There's a lot of people and a lot of them have claimed, A, it doesn't work, B, it does work. But the best recommendation that I got was start off with small doses.

>> Darin: You didn't even say, and gradually say what they're saying.

>> Mike: No, I didn't say. Yeah, the slogan is because you've got better to do.

>> Darin: That's like something I would have made up.

>> Mike: I'm terrified of that. It's got a peach flavor, but I don't want to take it. And then Bess hears a 250 pound on the floor. Now we're in the hospital all night or worse at the morgue.

>> Darin: Oh my Lord. I'm tempted to call this 800 number.

>> Mike: Do they have an 800?

>> Darin: Yeah, they got an 800 number.

>> Mike: Should call them and tell them you can't breathe.

>> Darin: Maybe it'll be like the five folks at zipline.

>> Mike: It's also unclear. When I was reading the reviews, it's unclear. Some people claimed it didn't work because they were constipated. Other people claimed it didn't work because they could not stop having diarrhea. There was nobody in between.

>> Darin: So. Okay, the directions. Adults 12 years and older add at least 8 ounces of water. If you're drinking 8 ounces of water, that should do the trick. That'll clean you out.

>> Mike: adults 12 years or older. Does that mean that 13 year old is an adult? It's saying people should say people 12 years and older. Right.

>> Darin: 13 is bigger than older than 12.

>> Mike: So it is. But that's not an.

>> Darin: Give it a good shake. That's what she said. And drink immediately. That's.

>> Mike: I do that with everything.

>> Darin: Did you pay for this?

>> Mike: If I told you, you'd lose all respect for me.

>> Darin: I have no 30.

>> Mike: That was $30 right there. Okay. I got better to do.

>> Darin: Uhhuh. Wow.

>> Mike: I gotta try it. I don't know if it expires. What happens if it expires? Are you guaranteed to not breathe at that point?

>> Darin: I think it loses its efficacy.

>> Dave: There's a word for you you are listening to. Irritable dad syndrome. Please don't smack us. We were only kidding.

>> Darin: Phyllis, this is not funny. This is not funny.

>> Mike: Well, technically it is toilet humor, which you claim to enjoy.

>> Darin: It is not toilet humor. It is toilet tr.


Darren says he talks to himself when he's working from home

I have a tendency to talk to myself, okay? Especially when I'm working. And I did this a lot when I first started working from home. Okay. And Libby noticed this because, Do you remember Covid?

>> Mike: Mike COVID 19?

>> Darin: Yeah. Ah, Covid. When Covid happened, they sent everybody home. Well, almost everybody. I was one of the people who was sent home to work for from the comfort of my home. And I was working in my dining room. Libby was out in the living room. And then Jacob and Cameron were upstairs in their rooms doing school from home. And this is day one of me working from home. I'm putting together some commercials. I used to work for WLWT Channel 5. And I'm editing these furniture commercials. And Libby says, you know what, Darren? You talk to yourself a lot. I said, you're right.

>> Darin: And I got, headphones and so she wouldn't have to Listen to my crap in there. And then I stopped talking to myself. But now that I'm downstairs and she can't hear me, I do talk to myself a lot. And I've done that for a long time. So I set up the story. My mom and I were out and we, were shopping for some stuff, and I bought this thing. And they said, what we need you to do is come over to this desk. And, I don't remember the woman's name. For sake of argument.

>> Mike: Priscilla.

>> Darin: Priscilla is going to help you, and she's going to sign you up for the online thing that you do with the warranty. I was like, okay, okay. So I'm filling out this thing. She says, go to this website. Oh, first of all. And I hate this. She says, take a picture of this, barcode, this scan, QR code. The QR code. Yeah. And, you always give me. But my phone doesn't do it. My phone does not do the QR code thing. And people look at me like, like I don't have shoes on or something. How do you not have shoes? How can you not do the QR code? I've tried. I can't get the QR code to open. So I'm like, can't you just give me a piece of paper that I can fill out? Can I go? Can I drive to the place and just fill it up?

>> Mike: Stone tablet and a steel. My God.

>> Darin: And I. I never feel older than when I try to explain to people that I don't really do the QR codes. And anyway, she says, okay. And so she takes a picture of it and we open up the website and I'm filling out all this stuff, and I accidentally put the wrong thing in the wrong slot. And I said, oh, God. Bonehead. This other woman, we'll call her Sarah. Sarah, she perks up and looks at me like, what the hell did you just say? How dare you. She looked at me like she thought I called Priscilla a bonehead.

>> Mike: And she just.

>> Darin: She gives me this. Yeah, she was about ready to go. She was going to take me outside and teach me, what we call a lesson.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, Sarah. I wasn't calling Priscilla a bonehead. I was saying that I'm the bonehead.

>> Mike: Me.

>> Darin: Yeah, me. And then we had a laugh about it. Okay, okay. So I get. It takes like 10 minutes. I fill out all the stuff I get on the website and I do the thing, and I got the app now, and it's just like, it's taking forever. Finally, the sales guy comes over.

>> Mike: Bert.

>> Darin: And Bert. Bert comes over and he says, how's everything going? And I say, bert, I'm gonna be honest with you. We had a bit of a problem. Sarah and Priscilla look at each other and look at me like, what? I said we had a bit of a problem.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Let's call it a misunderstanding. Yeah. Okay. It was my fault.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: It was all on me. You see, Sarah thought I called Priscilla a bonehead.


You nearly gave Sarah and Priscilla a heart attack with that joke

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: When in fact I was calling myself a bonehead. And now Sarah's laughing and Priscilla's laughing and my mom is sitting there like, oh my God. Yeah, like Darren. She's just like, why can't I take you with me?

>> Mike: Yeah, you've drawn anywhere too many people into the narrow.

>> Darin: Because I damn near gave Sarah and Priscilla a heart attack.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: When I told Bert the sales guy that there was a misunderstanding. Because you should have heard how, my acting skills were on fleek. Yeah, yeah, they were, they were tapped out. We've got a misunderstanding here. I learned that not everybody gets me.

>> Mike: I deal with that every day. If people had the same sense of humor that I did, they would realize how frickin hilarious I am 24 hours a day. That's what I say. If they give you a QR code. What the hell is that? And I say it's a QR code. Would you call me? And then just to get out of the conversation, they've probably got an emergency tablet or emergency pad of paper they give to you.

>> Darin: You can't say that anymore.


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>> Darin: That's right.


People on the internet are complaining about discounted concert tickets

>> Dave: Now back to you guys in the studio.

>> Mike: Concert tickets, huh?

>> Darin: How about them?

>> Mike: Concert tickets?

>> Darin: Where are you going now?

>> Mike: I'm going. No, I'm going to see Oasis. We've talked about this. Yes, but there's people on the on the onlines complaining about the concert tickets and the. The Dan and I are seeing them in general admission in Chicago. Yeah, Chicago.

>> Darin: Home of our new Pope.

>> Mike: Home of the Pope, Yeah. The Pope's going to be there.

>> Darin: I hope so.

>> Mike: Yeah. We paid, for the tickets. I'll just say it was about $200 per ticket. That's really cheap for the tour.

>> Darin: That was less than what we paid for Roger Waters, wasn't it?

>> Mike: I think about the same. It's about the same. But we had seats there.

>> Darin: that is true.

>> Mike: The same ticket right now can be bought for $1,000. My question is, what the hell? Ain't nobody paying? Well, I'm sure I shouldn't say there are people out there that are buying the tickets at those prices.

>> Darin: It's like my dad said, why do they sell it? Price? Because somebody will buy it.

>> Mike: But there's the people on the Reddit that are out there complaining about, don't they have enough money? Don't the Gallagher brothers have enough? I'm like, they're not getting that. M. They got the money from the original price of the tickets when they were sold. You're buying aftermarket tickets. And I see this time and time again.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: I am. I've written the post out so many times, I'm going to start copy pasting it. Listen, people, listen. M. For the love of the Lord, if you want to see a band, M, name a band. Chumbawamba. You want to know when Chumbawamba is going on tour? All right? Because you know when they go on tour, those tickets are going. They're gone.

>> Darin: It's going to be sick.

>> Mike: It's going to be sick. So do yourself a favor. Go to Chumbawamba's website right now. Sign up to be notified when they go on tour. When you get the notification, go to the place where you buy the ticket on the day that they tell you the tickets are released, and buy your ticket and shut up.

>> Darin: Yeah, just shut up.

>> Mike: Don't come three months after the Chumba Wumba tickets are sold out and then complain that you're in the nosebleeds paying $3,000. And tub thumping wasn't even that great of a song.

>> Darin: Right? I went to Chumba.com and they are not currently on tour.

>> Mike: A. Tub Thumping is the song of the 90s. And I'll hear. No, I'll hear nothing against that song.

>> Darin: I love that song. I love it.

>> Mike: B. And I just learned this today. Chumbawamba covered. I still have found what I'm Looking for. And it's spectacular.

>> Darin: Oh, okay. I did not know that.

>> Mike: No.


Okay, let me jump in here. I do get now, uh, is it more expensive than it should be

>> Darin: Okay, let me jump in here. Because all y' all who are like, don't they have enough money? And I'm not advocating or I'm not, in favor of the ticket prices, but, M. Mike and. And Fred. Noel Gallagher. What are they?

>> Mike: Noel and Mike and Fred Gallagher.

>> Darin: Nolan, Ethan Gallagher.

>> Mike: Liam and Noel.

>> Darin: Liam and Noel Gallagher. They don't get all the money from the concert ticket.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You got Ethan Gallagher and Noel Gallagher.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then there's.

>> Mike: There's the guy that takes your order. There's the one that hands it to you.

>> Darin: Drummer, the keyboard player. There's the horn section, the. The roadies, the backup singers, the lights. Yes. The guys who roll up the cable and they roll out the cable and.

>> Mike: They rent the damn place. They're renting a stadium, by the way. They don't just give stadiums away. There's a reason major cities have stadiums is to make money.

>> Darin: They make money off of it.

>> Mike: So whoever's using the stadium is paying them to rent the stadium. And then you are holding on some of that cost.

>> Darin: Yeah. That person who sells the T shirts, they make money. The T shirts cost money.

>> Mike: The person that carries the T shirts in.

>> Darin: Yes. They also make money. The person who drives the bus, person who flies the private jet. Everybody makes money. They have to. So I get it. I do get now, is it is more expensive than it should be? Yeah, it is.

>> Mike: Yeah. I mean, it is. You used to be able to see Bruce Springsteen, for $5 at the. @ the county fair.

>> Darin: Yeah. Those days are gone.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.


Bess texts me funny story about Chick Fil A drive thru

>> Dave: It's time for a classic clip from Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Mike: We were out late, you know, dealing with this car situation, so we didn't have time to cook anything. We're gonna stop at Chick Fil A. Chicken fillet, as it were.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: and I'm. Bess is driving her van, and I'm the passenger, which means I have idle time. And I'm on my phone while we're in the drive through the line. The line, the long line. Because there's always, like, 20 cards at Chick Fil A. And she says, I'm going to start texting you the order. she says, I'm just doing it so that I can read the texts when they. When the dude walks up and asks me what I want. It's like, okay. Because she's getting orders from Andrew and Charlie and. And me and everything. She wants to just have them there. She can read them okay. And so I'm scrolling through and I see a meme that cracks me up. It's like, you know, like the Little Golden Books.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So it's one of those.

>> Darin: The Ugly Duckling.

>> Mike: Yeah, it's a picture of all these wild horses running. And the title of the book is, your mom's fart spooked the horses. And I just. I'm giggling over there. And, I didn't do this on purpose. Your mom farted so loud, it spooked the horses.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And, I always. Whenever I see something, I think bessel, like, I text it to her.

>> Darin: I do the same thing with Libby.

>> Mike: So I do that. And right as I'm hitting send, I look over and she's talking to the guy and she's reading. And then I see the little tech, like, little picture loading. And she's in the middle of talking, and I can see it from where I'm at. And she just starts. She can't. She has to stop the order because she starts laughing. And I'm over there laughing so hard I can't breathe. And the more she can't order, the more I'm laughing. And then I hear the guy doing almost like a Beavis of Butt head, like he can't even see what we're laughing at. And she keeps apologizing, which makes me laugh harder. Now Charlie's looking up, he starts laughing. it was.

>> Darin: We whole family's crazy.

>> Mike: It took forever to get through that order. and then even when they were bringing the order out later, we're still falling and could not, could not calm down. But, yeah. So from now on, anytime we're driving anywhere and we go through the drive thru, I'm making sure to text Bess.


I will judge people based on how they fold towels, Chick Fil A says

>> Dave: This has been the Chick Fil A story of the week.

>> Darin: I was watching an episode of Johnny Carson and he had Oprah Winfrey on the show. And Johnny Carson used to host a show called the Tonight show with Johnny Carson. Okay. He was on the air for 30.

>> Mike: Years and he had his name written all over that one. Yeah, it was a shoe in. That would have been a. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: He was talking about how when he goes to people's homes, he likes to look in their medicine cabinet. Just, he doesn't take anything. But he would like to look in their medicine cabinet and see what they had in there. Just out of sheer curiosity, Oprah said that she, when she's at someone's house, will sneak a peek at their linens. She doesn't look at how nice a house they have or what type of car they drive. She looks at the type of sheets that they have. And it made me realize that if I'm spending the night at somebody's house, I will totally judge somebody based on how they fold the towels. Because in my opinion, there's a correct way and then there's the stupid way to fold the towel.

>> Mike: And.

>> Darin: And how do you fold your towels?

>> Mike: I don't. You don't just throw them in a pile. And we. None of us do.

>> Darin: You don't fold the towels.

>> Mike: I mean, sometimes if. If we're going to have, like, you come over, then, yeah, we'll fold the towels. But for the most part, we. We go unfolded. Okay.

>> Darin: I've never met anyone who didn't fold the towels.

>> Mike: Yes, you have. You're in his house right now.

>> Darin: Yeah. And we had this argument. Me and my friend Carrie had this talk about the. The right way to fold a towel. And there's also the right way to fold a fitted sheet, which nobody can fold a fitted.

>> Mike: The right way to fold a towel is you fold it in half, and then you fold that in half and then into threes.

>> Darin: You hold it. You hold it long way east to west, and you fold it once, and then you continue holding it long way east to west. And you fold it one more time. The edge that has the, the trim on it.

>> Darin: That is on the inside. okay. That doesn't go past the outside of the towel. That's on the inside. You don't see that when you fold the towel. And then you fold it. And two thirds. And then you stack them nice and neatly.

>> Mike: Yeah, we don't.

>> Darin: Yeah, that's how you.

>> Mike: I've got a Lion King towel that has none of those frilly bits on it. No, it does have Simba.

>> Darin: Okay. Yeah.


You went to college. You had final exams. So no, they're important. Well, actually you can screw them up

If we had something else to go in this podcast, in this episode, it was m. My idea.

>> Mike: Yeah. You wanted to do y' all two of these damn thing.

>> Darin: I know. Well, I mean, we've got vacations coming up in May. I've got to go to Indianapolis, and my company, we're working the Indy 500. If you're going to be at the Indy 500, come by, look for me, and I'll sign autographs. I'll take pictures with you. So we've got to knock a couple of these out. And so we just recorded episode 257, and now we're doing 258, which is going nowhere.

>> Mike: So I need some People in the boat with me on, And I know there's got to be at least one engineer out there that listens to this podcast. So I think you guys will be in the same boat as me. You. You went to college.

>> Darin: I did go to college.

>> Mike: You had final exams.

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: Right, yeah. and the final exams were worth what, typically like 30%. I had one that was 50% of the grade one time.

>> Darin: It depends. I had one class that we only had two grades. The first counted one third of the grade. The second counted 2/3 of the grade.

>> Mike: Okay. Yeah. So. So no, they're important.

>> Darin: Yeah. If you're going to screw one of them up. Well, actually you can screw them up. Yeah. Mathematically you're both ways.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: Hello.

>> Mike: in engineering you were. We were always allowed all of our notes and our books.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I would tell my non engineering people that and it'd be like, well, that's easy. Like, no, it's. That should scare the out of you because basically what the professor is saying is bring, bring all your notes in the books. It's not going to help you. It's.

>> Darin: You're not scared. And I've told like, that's like racing somebody and say, I'll give you a head start.

>> Mike: Well, the deal is, is that you have to be able to be able to finish the problem in time. You have to know what you're doing and you got to use the book in the notes to get other fiddly bits to help out with it. and one of my favorite stories I know I've told it on the podcast, I'm going to tell a truncated version of it here, is that we had a class, Mass Transfer. It was a weed out class. It was offered only once every other year, which meant that if you failed it, you're either tacking on another two years to your college education or you're changing majors. And it used steam tables and they were in the book and they folded out. And there was a certain point of the test where everybody opened up their book and pulled out their steam tables, all the things, and there was somebody sitting behind me, I still don't know exactly who it was who heard all that. And I heard them say, and I quote, and they stood up and walked out and basically changed their major.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You know, because that one question was half of the grade of the final, which was, I forget what it was, but it was enough to, make them do that. So anyway, there was a meme that I saw someone posted their final Exam question. It was in engineering. The final was six hours long.

>> Darin: Oh my God.

>> Mike: It had one question, and I don't remember the question, but it was. There were only maybe 25 to 30 words in the question. It was like, describe the mechanics of the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it had the rules. right. You can use all notes. You can use all books. You can use other students in the class.

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: Yes. You can bring students from other classes.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: Yes. You can bring faculty members, including associate professors and professors.

>> Darin: Can you phone a friend?

>> Mike: You can, you can. Yes. You can use your device. Any communication, like a telephone or speaking. They ask that you do it out in the hallway.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: So as not to disturb the other students. And like I said, you can bring other people in and everyone is welcome.

>> Darin: No way to cheat. Right.

>> Mike: And so I showed that to Bess and her first comment was, well, that doesn't seem so hard. And I'm like, that's an opposite reaction. I've been out of college. What year is it? I've been out a while. 27 years.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I saw that and I just felt like a cold. You know that when you realize that something's due and you didn't do it, or you have those nightmares where you're having a final and you're there and you for some reason don't have pants on and it's. It's horrible.

>> Darin: And for some reason you're holding a toaster.


You had six hours to answer this question with one question

>> Mike: Yeah. That feeling of the pity I had, it just like an icy fear struck me. I would. And I saw this late at night. I was up for another hour. Just sheer anxiety from that question is like, my God, if I had seen that question as a student, I would have spent one of those six hours in tears, rocking back and forth in the corner of the room before I finally shaped up and took care of that.

>> Darin: And you had six hours to answer this question? One question with one question.

>> Mike: Yeah. And the Internet, the full use of the Internet, including AI.

>> Darin: What did you. They didn't have AI at the time.

>> Mike: This is a. This is a test, like a current test.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Somebody took a picture of their. Of their.

>> Darin: Oh, dear Lord.

>> Mike: Yeah. You could use everything. AI and other professors, everyone.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it's all just that. Your entire grade for that class. I'm getting shaky just talking about it now. If you were in that class or you've seen one of those questions. Tell us about it. Because I just. I.

>> Darin: So I majored in broadcasting. So one of my broadcasting classes, we had Buster Grade, okay. And there were two parts of Buster grade. It was a newscast, okay? You wrote and anchored a, newscast, okay. With, sports and weather, okay? So you wrote your, you wrote your news stories, and you anchored it. You sat there in front of the camera, and then you tossed to sports, then you tossed to weather, and then you wrapped. So that was part one of Buster grade. So it was, your writing ability, your, on camera ability. And then the second part was when you directed somebody else. So it's like my friend Shannon directed my bus to grade, and then I directed his bus to grade, okay? So that was one of my broadcasting class. You can't study.

>> Mike: No, yeah, yeah, that's for that. And that's the nature of these type of the engineering questions is you can't really study for it.

>> Darin: I had a speech class and our professor, this lady, she would, you would ask her a question, and if you were wrong, she'd go, well.

>> Mike: No, you're not wrong.

>> Darin: You're just incorrect, Dr. Schneider. and she didn't have a final exam, but she did have. She split the class up into two sides. And I don't. I think it was for. I think it was for extra credit. Yeah, but it was like a spelling bee. She would ask this question, and if you know the rules of a spelling bee, if you get it right, you get back in the line.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And. And if not, you know, there were people who didn't need extra credit and like, ask me any questions, like, is it Kentucky? Well, no. And then you sit down and you can color or do whatever.

>> Mike: Now that we're talking about it, I do remember one of my finals. I did have a final that was one question once. It was thermodynamics. It was advanced thermodynamics. It was the second of two.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It was all, ah, you can bring all your notes. You. We couldn't use each other. Other students, but you had all your notes and everything. And the question was, describe the thermodynamics of opening a beer bottle.

>> Darin: Oh, dear Lord.

>> Mike: And we had. It was a two hour final, but the professor allowed us three hours. He's like, it'll probably take you three hours. Okay, go.

>> Darin: And do you know how to do that?

>> Mike: I did it.

>> Darin: Okay. And you passed.

>> Mike: I passed.

>> Darin: Oh, wow.

>> Mike: I didn't ace it. I passed.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah. The nature of it. Now we're getting into engineering talk. We really have run out of topics. The nature of it is the assumptions that you're making and the laws that you're using. So you assume a temperature of the beer bottle. You assume a pressure on the inside, pressure on the outside.

>> Darin: Cincinnati's comedy comedy podcast.

>> Mike: You make assumptions of how the temperature inside is going to rise, how much the temperature just outside the bottle is going to fall, the amount of carbon dioxide that's going to come out.


Darren Nelson: Most of my college classes were broadcasting courses

You just. You could do all that. You just go crazy with it.

>> Darin: Just when I thought you were the dumbest son of a. Alive.

>> Mike: Yeah, there you are.

>> Darin: Pretty smart.

>> Mike: I, like, I didn't do it well, but I did do it. I do remember a moment of sheer panic. And all of us looking around for a good five to 10 minutes, like, you and me, we're just looking at you like. And we weren't allowed to talk to each other. We were just like, oh, well, it was nice trying to be an engineer. I, don't know. I guess I can do something else with. Make a meth lab or something.

>> Darin: You and I had night and day, different college experiences, because like I said, most of my classes toward the end were broadcasting courses. Yes, there were some final exams with actual questions. One of my professors, Tom Headley. God, this guy. Love this guy. We were sitting. This is when you could smoke in class.

>> Mike: Are, ah, you serious?

>> Darin: I'm serious. This is in the mid-90s. I'm sitting in class one day, and he's sitting there and he's got a cigarette, and he looks at it, goes, you know what, Darren? I hate this class. So he gives this, final exam, and it was like 10 questions or something. The last question was, who is Alex Ogborn? Okay, Alex Ogborn is a guy. He's a singer. He plays guitar. He was widely known in the Johnson City area because he went bar to bar to bar to bar, playing at nightclubs. And he was dating a girl in class, and she would not stop talking about him. Like, every day. She was talking about when she. Me and Alex are doing this, and, Alex Ogborn and I are doing this or whatever. And my buddy Nathan, he was friends with someone, and I vicariously knew him, but it was like, describe who Alex Ogborn is.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm like, that's hilarious. And so the reason he put that on there, was because if you didn't go to class, you didn't hear Wendy or what's her face, constantly talking about Alex Ogborn. If you skipped class and just showed up for the final exam. And I'm like, that's awesome.

>> Mike: Yes, that's similar. I told you about Tay's class where he had to bring a mop to class every day at ou, right? Yeah. So the professor came in the morning or their first class. He's like, everyone needs to purchase a mop. There's a Kroger down on State Street. There weren't that many places in Athens at the time, so everybody was buying at the same place. I'm sure someone alerted Kroger that they need to stock up on mops because there's going to be a class coming. And. And every morning now, this story means something because you have actually met Tay. Every time he's going to class, he's walking with his stupid ass mop. And then the class before the final, the professor said, make sure you bring your mop to the final. TAE said, the guy came in, he said, does everybody have their mop? He said, if you have your mop, you pass the class. Congratulations. Enjoy your summer. If not, I have the final exam for you here. And I can't remember. We'd have to ask Tay. I can't remember if anybody actually had to take the exam, but yeah. Cause Tay. We all lived at Me, Box and Tay and another guy, Ben. We all lived in the same house together, so me and Box were just hanging out on the porch. We'd seen Tay leave for his final and he came back like 20 minutes later. he's like, I had my. I passed the glass. He's just swinging around the road. And it was awesome.

>> Darin: Like Judd Nelson.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. With the freaking knock. It was great.


Chicago is the home of the Pope. Wait, does that mean that Chicago style pizza is official

>> Darin: Earlier you mentioned the going to Chicago to see Oasis.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I said, hey, Chicago is the home of our new Pope.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I work. Technically, I work in Chicago. I work from home, but my office is in Chicago.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And all my Chicagoan friends are out of their mind excited because they're. That's where the Pope lives.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Home of the Pope.

>> Mike: Wait, does that mean that Chicago style pizza is the official pizza now?

>> Darin: Well, m. I mean, there's the. Does like. Does he like Portillo's? Does he like this type of hot dog? There's the debate, over whether he's a Cubs fan actual or. the Chicago, White Sox. White Sox. Thank you.

>> Mike: The Mets in Italy. The actual pizza that they make over there is in the. The people that invented pizza. It's like a cracker with on it, right?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: They don't cracker. They don't. I always thought the Chicago pizza was. Would. They would look at that with scorn.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And now they've got this Pope. And he's gonna be like, I wanna give me one of those.

>> Darin: Give me one of them deep dish mother scratchers, boy. God. The last time I was in Chicago, my buddy Sharon, he told me, he's like, you've never had Chicago pizza. I said, I haven't. And he bought one.

>> Mike: Is that the place?

>> Darin: No. No, it's not.

>> Mike: Okay. That's the oven pizza.

>> Darin: Digiorno's is the frozen that you get on all 20 at Kroger.

>> Mike: What's the one we. We ate. Me and Bess and Andrew. We ate the famous.

>> Darin: Well, there's in here.

>> Mike: Jordani's.

>> Darin: There's a. I don't know. Giovanni's Pizza.

>> Mike: Not Giovanni's.

>> Darin: Donatello's?

>> Mike: Not Papa John's.

>> Darin: Is it Pizza Hut?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Pizza.

>> Mike: I tell you what. Ah. At a particular pizza place back home, if you ordered extra anchovies. Someone brought you a little bit of the old, ganja. Little tip, but no.


Darren: Steve Young wrote a new song about the Pope

>> Darin: Anyway, back to the Pope. The Pope is from Chicago. now, our friend of the podcast, Steve Young, wrote a new song about the Pope. And I asked him, can we play it on the podcast? He said, absolutely. So here's the Pope song by Steve Young.

>> Mike: He was an American Pope.

>> Darin: Raised on godliness. That's all I have so far. Honestly, that's probably enough. Thank you. Steve and I.

>> Mike: Had I realized you were headed towards an actual thing, I wouldn't have been laying roadblocks down in front of you.

>> Darin: Dude, that's all you do is lay roadblocks down to me. It's all you do. It's on the rundown that I sent you.

>> Mike: We're gonna took it the run.

>> Darin: I know you didn't. We're gonna talk about the.

>> Mike: You said you didn't have anything to talk about. I had a whole list of. I figured I'll.

>> Darin: I'll do the thing, but I also.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I also said that I found some more stuff.

>> Mike: Okay. You've got a good work ethic. You've got a good work ethic.

>> Darin: Lord have mercy. We're gonna go. Doing two episodes in one night was a bad idea.

>> Mike: This is a good idea. It's a thing. Geez. Fine. Come on.

>> Darin: Yeah, lighten up a little bit. People need to stop getting so offended.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Guys, we want you to go to Instagram and Tick Tock and Facebook and YouTube. And when you watch our videos, like them and share them, cherish them, they would. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: Have a peep.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Whilst listening to the episode.

>> Darin: If you do that, that helps. Our podcast the algorithm. Share the love. Yes, algorithm.

>> Mike: It helps the QR code.

>> Darin: It does. It helps the penultimateness and. Oh, my God.

>> Mike: And join us, join us live because we go live on Tuesdays and you'll be, you'll enjoy some fun. It's a fun activities, completely different show chat that goes along with it. And what you've missed out on is the fact that Darren has no idea what the hell a QR code is. Yet we sell merch that has QR codes.

>> Darin: I know what the QR code is.

>> Mike: What's QR code?

>> Darin: I can't get my phone to open the QR code. All right, we're gonna wrap this up. We hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome. Bye, everybody.


Irritable dad Syndrome was videotaped before a live studio audience

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome was videotaped before a live studio audience.

>> Mike: I think you're gonna find some gems in there.

>> Darin: I think so.

>> Mike: I think you're gonna find some rooting tootin's in there.

>> Darin: We're back.

>> Mike: That was, that was censored for your.

>> Darin: Enjoyment and your protection. And I've had friends try to do it and I've had my wife try to do it and they have given up on it. Just like you gave up trying to get the Spotify to work in my car.

>> Mike: Yeah, the actual, the pizza, they needle is like, it'll eat it.

>> Darin: They probably went home. They're like this dumbass calling everybody a bonehead. Whatever.

>> Mike: I've been freestyling it, grinding the rails.

>> Darin: We're so drunk.

>> Mike: Is it really the White Sox?

>> Darin: It's the White Sox.

>> Mike: Yeah. I was trying to be funny. Let me check the old crystal ball here.

>> Darin: So earlier when you mentioned that you were going to Chicago.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: To see Oasis. I mentioned that that's now the home of our new hope. And, I work.

>> Mike: I'm sorry.

>> Darin: Did you listen to last episode? In the bonus part, in the end credits of last week's episode, I'm like, you know, Mike, I'm constantly talking. We'll just start this segment again. Alex is a good guy. Alex is left handed guitar player, had long black curly hair, dreamy. The girls loved him. And, he was, he was a very good guitar player and a super nice guy. I. You know what? He probably doesn't even remember me. but my buddy Nathan knew this woman that he was dating and we hung out with him, a couple nights. Alex is a good guy.

>> Mike: Should I try this before going to bed?

>> Darin: No, Dear God, no. You don't take a bunch of five before you go to bed.

>> Mike: I was gonna take like, half a dose. Should I do it in the morning? Huh?

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, I would do it in the morning.

>> Mike: The bed.

>> Darin: Well, you don't want to poop in the car either.

>> Mike: That's right. Okay.


Darren says he's been missing a lot of work lately

>> Darin: Take it at work. Darren, we noticed you've been missing a lot of work lately. I wouldn't say I've been missing it. You know what I'm saying?

>> Mike: It's not that I'm lazy. It's that I just don't care.

>> Darin: Do you know how many TPS reports I fill out?

>> Mike: I got eight bosses. Eight? Eight, Bob. That means when I mess up, I have eight different people. Tell me about the message.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Do you think maybe a profit sharing, aspect or something? I don't know. I guess. Okay. Good luck with your firings. I hope they really go well.

>> Darin: I just. He'll never. Ron Livingston will never do a better role than that. Ever.

>> Mike: And it's not anything against him. It's just he was so.

>> Darin: He'll never be better than he was in Office Space Lord. And I don't know how you can top that. You just can't top that.

>> Mike: The temperature inside is going to rise. How much? The temperature just outside the bottle is going to fall. You could do all that. You just go crazy with it.

>> Darin: This is my new mom, George, my friend.

>> Mike: He gave me this mop. It's a pretty good mop.

>> Darin: It's not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop. But this is still a good mop.

>> Mike: Sometimes you just have to take what life gives you.

>> Darin: Because life is like a mop.