IDS #260 - An Ample Amount of Lugnuts

Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mikey Two Thumbs.

>> Darin: Well, Mikey Two Thumbs. Mikey Two Thumbs.

>> Mike: Let's do it again.

>> Darin: Okay. What name are you gonna go by?

>> Mike: Mikey Two Thumbs.

>> Darin: Don't like Mikey Two Thumbs. What do you think?

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun.

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Look for us on the COVID of Tiger Beat magazine. Give it up for your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 260. Strap in, grab something to drink. Hold on to something.

>> Mike: How about you?

>> Darin: How about you? Yeah.

>> Mike: wow. Wow. We have gone through a smorgasbord. A Whitman sampler.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: A, charcuterie board.

>> Darin: A grab bag.

>> Mike: A Wretch's family candy bag.

>> Darin: Uh-huh. Wretches.

>> Mike: Branches. Branches.

>> Darin: Brocks.

>> Mike: Brock's. Brock's Candy of, topics before we ever pressed record.

>> Darin: Yeah. You guys, some days you're lucky that you don't hear what Mike and I talk about before we hit record. And some days you're not lucky. Tonight we had to stop and delete something that I had said, apparently so that it wasn't out in the ether.

>> Mike: Apparently when I tell this man we're going live, he thinks that he's gonna have two keys to turn the silo on.

>> Darin: Well, I know we're going to, but I didn't know we were live.

>> Mike: The war games Whopper computer over there.

>> Darin: That was my mistake and that was my mistake and I apologize. And I hope, Mike, that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Well, thank you.


Welcome to episode 260. We hope everybody's doing well

Welcome to episode 260. We hope everybody's doing well.

>> Mike: Time to heal.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, get over it. How you been? I'm doing fantastic.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You're wearing a Reese's shirt.

>> Darin: Just don't give a. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

>> Darin: I love Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And I'm hoping if I wear this tonight that when the fine folks at Reese's, I hope they send us some, samples and I hope they say, hey, we should be the a sponsor of this podcast.

>> Mike: Gee. So anybody that's our, our patrons and the people that watch us on Twitch and YouTube may be noticing. Hey, Darren looks like his normal Darren self. And Mike, you look like you're going to try to sell us some insurance.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: What the hell's going on?

>> Darin: Getting ready to Go on a golf retreat.

>> Mike: What you're seeing is, oh, we're doing that tonight.

>> Darin: Like, a few weeks ago, I sent Mike a text, and I said, you know what? We should start recording some of these mama jamas in advance because summertime is coming up and we're going to need to have one or two in the, in the old chamber, as it were.

>> Mike: And I, enthusiastically agree.

>> Darin: He said, absolutely.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I show up tonight. Mike pokes his head out the door. Kind, of like in Lord of the Rings or were Frodo and Sam.

>> Mike: And the other two into the Prancing Pony.

>> Darin: Yeah. They open up the door, what the hell are you doing here? Yeah, no one. We weren't expecting you. And then they close the door and they want you to go away. So, yeah, Mike had no idea I was coming tonight, even though, we've done this every week. Almost every week.

>> Mike: It's only been five years. Every Tuesday, so same time.

>> Darin: Mike was taken aback. But anyway, he says, you know what? Screw it, let's just do it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And reminds, me a lot of my honeymoon.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Anyway, I'm here, so we're going to record a podcast, and we hope that you enjoy it.


I was at a promotional event for the Indy 500 this year

I got back from Indianapolis, which is the capital of the great state of Indiana. I was at a promotional event for the Indy 500, and this year, the Indy 500 was sold out. There was over 300,000 people at the Indy 500. I betcha I met every one of them. We had a promotional event for my company, and my God, do people love free stuff? Yeah, they were losing their mind over the free stuff that we had. You could come in, you could get a free photo taken. You. You could get a free lunchbox. A, we had tote bags and water bottles, and then we had little, cute, little foam race cars that were adorable. We had sunglasses, fridge magnets. We didn't have any fridge magnets. But somebody says, do you have pencils? You had pencils last year. Nobody wanted a pencil last year, so we don't bring any pencils. Somebody asks for a pencil, and he's like, I'm an architect, and I do a lot of drawing, and I was really hoping you guys had pencils. And I really wanted to look at him go, you know, they sell pencils everywhere.

>> Mike: I say, it's a damn shame everywhere.

>> Darin: Too bad there's the great pencil shortage of 2025.

>> Mike: You studied your whole life to be an architect. You go to this show, and now.

>> Darin: You'Re just out of luck because we don't have any free pencils.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, But I said sadly, and with tears in his eyes, he walked away without a pencil. But I think he still enjoyed, meeting us. We had, we were giving away posters and we had four different posters from the Indy 500. One that had a, trophy, one that had the tower, the pagoda, as they call it at, Indianapolis Motor Speedway. We had one with an IndyCar on it, and then we had one with a driver holding a glass of milk. They drink milk when they win the Indy 500.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: Why?

>> Darin: I don't know why. I really don't. I was, I was going to look that up and discuss that tonight, but I forgot. So anyway, people would come up and they'd say, and this is what was fun because when I was rolling posters, I said, hey, we've got a self rolling station. That sounds worse than. Because, you know.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: that was one of my jokes. If somebody would ask how much of the posters, I'd say, a hundred dollars. And the look on their face and I'm like, no, silly, they're free. Okay. So there was that. And then, the first day we were giving away posters, we didn't have any rubber bands. We, well, we had rubber bands, but nobody could find them. So if anybody said, do you have a rubber band? I would say, well, we had rubber bands. Oh, you should have seen them. They were the most beautiful rubber bands you've ever seen. They were built exactly for you and for this poster, but we can't find them. We actually sent somebody out on a rubber band run and that was funny.

>> Mike: Yeah. The next day, didn't we laugh at these?

>> Darin: Oh, everybody laughed.

>> Mike: Okay, dude. Okay. You killed.

>> Darin: I was killed. I was absolutely killing. I was on top of my game.

>> Mike: I gotta admit, my anxiety is increasing the more of these that you tell.

>> Darin: everybody loved meeting me. There were people who walked away like, we loved meeting him the second day when we had rubber bands.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And if somebody said, how much for a poster? I would say, the poster is free. The rubber band is 750.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, that's.

>> Darin: And.

>> Mike: You know, we had a. Oh.

>> Darin: Oh, but they love me. They, they had so much fun. Yeah, they had so much fun meeting me. It was great. And like I said, I think I met everybody. And last year I was at the Indy 500 and I was giving away the little foam. they're like a, you know. Have you ever had a stress ball? I think I could use a stress ball.

>> Mike: Yeah. You squeeze in a squeezy.

>> Darin: Squeezy, toy. And squeeze it. It goes right back. Yeah, you squeeze it.

>> Mike: You squeeze it.

>> Darin: You squeeze it. Yeah, it goes right back to the shape that it originally was.


Last year, I was giving away free cars to little kids

>> Mike: What color were your stress balls?

>> Darin: They were blue, and they had.

>> Mike: Now, see, that's a. I walked right into that one, didn't I?

>> Darin: The cars.

>> Mike: Yeah. Are.

>> Darin: Are blue, and they have little white, like, pinstripes going down them. So last year, I was giving out these cars, and I was finding little kids. Hey, buddy. Hey. Hey, little, Sally. Whatever the heck your name is. Do you want to call Sally Strothers?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And the little kids would say, yeah. And then I was running out of little kids to give these cars to, so I thought, well, why don't you start asking adults? And the adults wanted these cars more than the kids do.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Hey. Yeah.

>> Mike: Because adults have more stress than kids. What's a kid gonna be stressed about?

>> Darin: and there were some parents who'd be like, can I have two cars? I have two kids. I'm like, huh? Yeah, I'll give you. Okay, I'll give you two.

>> Mike: Wink, wink, nudge.

>> Darin: What's funny was, so I was giving away cars, and then at one point, I went out into the crowd, and I was giving away free sunglasses.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Hey, the sun's out. Need some sunglasses.

>> Dave: Boom.

>> Darin: I made a connection, and they were like, yes, I would love a pair of sunglasses. Yeah. So I'm giving sunglasses out right and left. I can't give them away fast enough.

>> Darin: Because people love free stuff, especially free stuff that's practical. And people were loving these sunglasses. So I'm almost down to the bottom of my bag, and I asked this woman, do you want a pair of sunglasses? And she said, yes, I would love a pair. I gave her a pair of sunglasses. Her boyfriend, her husband. It could have been her brother. I don't think it was her brother, because they didn't act like brother and sister. But that's not why you're here. He said, what about me? Can I have a pair of sunglasses? And I said, sure. And I looked in my bag, and lo and behold, I was out of sunglasses.

>> Mike: Oh, you over over promised and now you're under deliver.

>> Darin: And I said, let me. And that's something you don't do. You do not over promise.

>> Mike: Let me check in the back.

>> Darin: I said, let me go, and I will get you a pair, because we've got a thousand more. At our booth where we were, I said, I'll be Right back. So I go and I get another bag of sunglasses.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I run out and they're not where they were standing.

>> Mike: Yeah, that's, you know.

>> Darin: So what do I do? Do I give up? Hell no, I don't give up.

>> Mike: No, not you. No, not Darren.

>> Darin: Note M. Cox. I searched and searched and I walked up and I walked down and I turned around and went back this way, and there they were.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I walked over to him and I said, okay, here are your sunglasses. they're laughing. He says, I was telling her, I said, he's not coming back. He's not coming back. I said, oh, no.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No, sir. I made a promise.

>> Mike: M. They didn't know who they were dealing with.

>> Darin: They did not. I said, I made a promise. Promise. I told you I would bring you a pair of sunglasses. And come rain, come shine, come hell or high water, I'm giving you these sunglasses. Enjoy. There you go. Yeah, I made a promise and I delivered.


Darren: At some sporting events, you can't bring a backpack

Darren, I had fun in Indy. I had a lot of. That's right. Into the sea cock. We had. We were giving away these, It's kind of like a fanny pack, but it was a clear plastic bag because at some sporting events, you can't bring a backpack.

>> Mike: Yeah. People like to bring in cheeseburgers.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: From the outside.

>> Darin: Well, it. And does.

>> Mike: Can't.

>> Darin: That keeps people from bringing in food?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they have the clear backpacks because it prohibits people from bringing in alcohol or weapons. So we had these little clear fanny.

>> Mike: Packs unless you fill it with vodka.

>> Darin: That's true. That is true.

>> Mike: Tip from m. Your mic. But.

>> Darin: But we never do that.

>> Mike: No, no.

>> Darin: Because that's wrong.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Go to bed, kids. So we were giving away these little clear backpacks, and I held one up and I said to one of my co workers, I said, this looks like a. Like a portable fishbowl. And m. I said, you know, I was at a band called Portable Fishbowl, and this new guy who works for the company said, really? And I'm like, no, I. No.

>> Mike: Yeah. And long time.

>> Darin: I know. It's like it's the first time he's met me. Yeah, we met each other, like, the day before. But come on. Who's in a band called Portable Fish?

>> Mike: Long time. Listeners have heard that joke so many times.

>> Darin: So many times.

>> Mike: Like the ones that haven't veered off the road to end it all. You guys know it's difficult to. For us to continue the conversation with somebody when they get tripped up on that. Because you think my Lord, yeah, that low of a bar. Yeah, got him. What can I do? I'm stuck with. I got knock knock jokes. That's it.

>> Darin: And this guy, he's, I don't know, in his early to mid-20s. So I'm practically his grandfather. Right. I felt so old, I really. Mike, there was, I mean, granted there were people there my age and older, but most of the team were these, young, these youngsters. These punks. These, there's wet nose. Snot nose. Punk. Punk ass kids.

>> Mike: Yeah. Wet behind the ears.

>> Darin: They're wet behind the ears. Thank you.


So we're driving to the Indianapolis 500 and there's. There's a pink house. Calling it a house would be a compliment

So we're driving to the Indianapolis 500 and there's. There's like nine of us in the van. We get stopped and we waited in the van for well over an hour. No, we, we left the hotel at 4:15. We didn't get into where our booth was until 7:15. So that's three hours in a van.

>> Mike: Three.

>> Darin: Oh, it's the magic number. Yeah, it is. anyway, the sun came up and there was a pink. Calling it a house would be a compliment. More like a dwelling. There's a twink dwelling. A twink dwelling. There was a pink dwelling. It's a house. And I said, oh, cool, we're in Indiana. There's a pink house.

>> Mike: Little, pink houses.

>> Darin: Little pink houses for you and me. And I said, the last time I was in Indianapolis, I saw a pink house. Let me find it, I'll show you a picture. And I bring it up. I said, what do you guys think of that house? And this guy said, is. Is that your house? I'm like, are you not listening? I said, the last time I was in Indianapolis, I saw a house and I took a picture of it. Because when you're in Indiana, you take pictures of pink houses.

>> Darin: And he said, why? I said, what do you mean why? Because of John Mellon Camp. And he said, who's John Mello Camp? I said, oh my God. Yeah, it's not Mellow Camp.

>> Mike: It's John Jonathan Cougar Mellon Camp.

>> Darin: And I said, you don't know who John Mellencamp is? He goes, no, I've never heard of John Mellencamp. And I'm like, pink, houses, small town, rock in the usa, Hand to hold on to Jack and Diane. Oh, I've heard Jack and Diane.

>> Mike: Okay. It's a little ditty about him.

>> Darin: There's a little ditty about Jack. And I am two American kids doing the best they can.

>> Mike: Yeah. Sucking down chili dog on chili dog.

>> Darin: Behind the tasty freeze Jack had his.

>> Mike: Hand between, low on money.

>> Darin: It's just trying to keep warm, just.

>> Mike: Trying to keep food on the table.

>> Darin: So he going to need you to.

>> Mike: Go back there and suck down another chili dog.

>> Darin: I'm like, thank God he had heard. And I'm sorry, but it's like, you know, John Mellencamp released. You don't have to be a fan, but he released an album last year. He's still pertinent. He was on tour last year. His videos are still all over the Tik tok in the 80s. I knew of bands who were popular in the 50s. That whole thing where someone says, oh, that was before my time. That's a load of crap. I'm sorry. You have an obligation to learn about music and actors and television and film that came out before your time. Because some of the best music, some of the best films ever made were 30, 40, 50 years before you were even born.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: I think my blood pressure is going.

>> Mike: You got really excited on that.

>> Darin: I'm all hopped up on Lewd tonight. M. Oh, my God.


Dave Lay loves Lotus Biscoff Cookies when traveling

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by Lotus Biscoff Cookies. Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and I love traveling. It seems like every couple of months, I get the urge to visit people and places anywhere on this great planet. And that's why I'm a big fan of Lotus Biscoff Cookies. Whenever I'm flying and the stewardess asks if I want a snack, I say, hell, yeah, I want a snack. And make that snack a pack of Lotus Biscoff cookies. Since 1932, Lotus Biscoff cookies have been made with all natural ingredients. They're crunchy, and that caramelized flavor has made them the preferred choice of every major airline that serves snacks. Lotus Biscoff Cookies.

>> Mike: Mmm.

>> Dave: Now, those are some good cookies.


We often have episodes where it's Darren and then I'm playing

Back to you guys in the studio when,

>> Darin: Did you want to say anything? Not at all.

>> Mike: I don't. I'm just here for, decoration, gentlemen and ladies. I went backwards there a little bit, or forwards, however you want to look at it. We often have episodes where it's Darren and then I'm playing. I'm like the wingman. Then we have episodes where I'm. It's Mike and Darren's playing wingman. And then we have episodes where it's like we're playing ping pong.

>> Darin: We back and forth. We back and forth.

>> Mike: We're. This is. I'm full blown wingman. And part of the reason for that.

>> Darin: Is that you didn't know I was Coming in.

>> Mike: I didn't know he was coming. Yeah. I'm digesting my food.

>> Darin: By the way, thank you for eating before we started. Last week's episode is a lot of. No.

>> Mike: Oh, no.

>> Darin: It's corn.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Darin: Corn.

>> Mike: Yeah. But.


M. M. attempted to meet David Letterman at Indianapolis this week

Yeah, but I also want to hear about your trip.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So you went to the thing, and you saw the cars.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, we didn't get to watch any of the race. we were out for a promotional event in the midway, and so we met, like, everybody who watched the race. So while I was in Indianapolis at the track, I attempted to meet David Letterman. Oh, I attempted. And it. I. I failed. So I was walking around.

>> Mike: Did you see him?

>> Darin: I did not. Okay. I did not see David Letterman while I was there this week. I had a media pass. I had media credentials. I could go into the. Where, they did all the press.

>> Mike: Free roam.

>> Darin: Exactly. Yeah. I could go up into the fourth floor of the room where the drivers go up and answer the question from the hundreds of reporters who were there. And there was food there for the media, and I. I had a free, chili dog.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: M. Just suck it down behind this. Sucked it down behind the tasty freeze.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I got to go into the media room with my media pass, with my credential, and I got to go back where the drivers have their garages. Okay. So you could see Mario Andretti's garage. Okay. And I. I don't think Al Unser Jr. Had a garage anymore. Al Unser, Jr. I think he retired in 2004. Okay. so he doesn't have a garage anymore, but I found the garage for, Ray Hall Letterman Lanigan. That's David Letterman's racing team.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: And so I found the garage, and there was, like, a couple people in there tinkering around, looking for a hammer. And I was nervous. I was so nervous. So I walked back around some more, and then I came back, and then this guy comes out of the garage, and he walks past me. I said, excuse me, sir. And this is where the story gets amusing.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah.

>> Darin: You were wondering, excuse me, sir, is Dave back there? And he said, who? I said, dave. Dave Letterman. He goes, oh, oh, no, no. He says, nobody's back there. And he says, I think Dave's not gonna be here until Sunday day. I said, okay. I didn't see him on that day. I walked by again on Saturday, and. And there was nobody in the.

>> Mike: Because you, thought maybe he would come by early, maybe. Maybe make sure the skittle bowls are full.

>> Darin: Exactly. Yeah.

>> Mike: You know, oils in the bucket.

>> Darin: He does have enough lug nuts.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Or, do you have the proper. An ample amount of lug nuts.

>> Mike: Are the stems valved?

>> Darin: Yes. There's all kinds of things that, I.

>> Mike: Mean, you guys wouldn't understand. It's close.

>> Darin: No. Letterman knows everything about cars, and it's his team, so of course he's going to want to see if his lug nuts were tightened. Of course he is. And then Sunday, I walked by the garage two or three times and never was a bearded David Letterman there. So I didn't get to meet David Letterman. M. Yeah, I tried. And with, tears in my eyes, I went back to our promotional event and I gave away more free posters.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, so I tried. Well, now we're having fun, aren't we?


Darren shares his Culver's story of the week

>> Dave: Time now for the Culver's story of the week.

>> Darin: Whilst I was in Indianapolis, we stayed at a. We stayed at a hotel. And within walking distance to our hotel was a Culver's. And my buddy Todd, who is a producer, and Todd, and I are buddies, and that's why I called him my buddy Todd. Good God, Darren. Todd and I went to Culver's to get something sweet to eat. And so we walk in and I ordered a mixer, a concrete mixer. Okay. With vanilla ice cream and M&M's, and, oh, it was so yummy. And so I get my concrete mixer, and Todd says, hey, Darren, did you tell them that your son works at Culver's? Like, oh. So I told the guys, hey, my son works at Culver's. And they said, really? And Mike, they were fascinated. They were absolutely fascinated. It's like.

>> Mike: Like Bruce Springsteen had walked into Culver's signing autographs.

>> Darin: Yeah. Three or four people came up from behind the counter and walked up to hear about my son who also worked at Culver's. And so I said, yeah, he works at Culver's. He's worked there for a few months, and he. His job right now is to take food to the people at the drive thru. And I told the story, about, hey, can I get you something else? And, yeah, how about a fat girl to keep me warm? They thought, I killed with that.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: Oh, I killed. Next thing I know, I turn around, and there's two other Culver's employees standing behind us. Now, they. Apparently, they've never met someone else who works for Culver's. Know someone who works at Culver's?

>> Mike: You're about to enter a secret society at this point.

>> Darin: Yeah, they were fascinated with us.

>> Mike: And m. They might ask you to touch an E meter, answer some questions.

>> Darin: I mean, I would have. I totally would have touched their E meter. but, I mean, they were just amazed with us. And there's. We weren't doing anything special except standing there like dorks and eating custard.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. and then out of nowhere, someone says, yeah, working at Culver's is great. It's so much better than working at Chick Fil A. And we're like, oh, really? Why. Why is that? And this one guy said that he had. They had given him, like, 24, 26 hours, and he couldn't work that many hours because of his school. So he asked, hey, hey, can you give me less hours? And they knocked him down. Guess what they knocked him down to Mike.

>> Mike: Three hours.

>> Darin: Two. They knocked him down to two hours. And he says, he's like, and I can't do that.

>> Dave: This has been the Culver's story of the week.

>> Mike: So he quit. You know why I said three? Because I got knocked down to three hours when I worked at a, It was not a Spencer's gift, but it was similar to that when I was home for a winter break from. Because I went to OU and winter break at OU was. It was like six to eight weeks. M. And I got a job at the. The mall. So where I was from there was the mall.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, our mall was called the mall.

>> Mike: When I applied and talked to him, I said, yeah, I'm off for six weeks. I just like to make some money. And I noticed the first week I had, like, 10 hours. I was like, that sucked because there was a lot more hours in the week, and I was bored. And I had said, can I get more hours? And then they misheard me. I found this out later. They thought I was complaining about the number of hours that I had in that it was too many hours. So the following week I worked. I was scheduled three hours. Three.

>> Darin: Oh, it's the magic number. Yeah, it is. that's like a lunch break.

>> Mike: And then the next week was the same thing. And then I finally. I went back to the m. The manager, and I'm like, I. I was within a week or two of the assignment ending. Like, I had to go back to school, right? I was like, I. You guys aren't giving me any hours. The reason you're not giving me hours. What? You know, Oh, we, we thought you had school. I was like, no, I'm. I'm here on break, right? From school.

>> Darin: Right.


You never wear hats because you're bald, right? Yeah. For me, someone asked me once if I wear a hat

>> Mike: I can work 40 I can work 50, 43 hours. 43 hours. Oh, we didn't know that. Well, we'll schedule you next week for 40 hours. And I'm like, I'm. This is my last week. I'm done.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So they had a rule, and I think I've told this before in the podcast, but who's counting at this point?

>> Darin: Not me.

>> Mike: They had a rule, they had like, stupid. That they sold like T shirts and hats and things. And they had a game that they would play where you would have to wear something until you sold it.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So I picked a brown corduroy hat. Oh. Like a golfer hat thing. And I'm walking around with that thing like a beret type.

>> Darin: I'd love to see that.

>> Mike: I picked it because it was ridiculous because no one would ever dreamed that anyone would even buy that. So there's no way for them to expect me to sell it. I wasn't a very good employee.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I never did sell it. I think I bought it myself, though. I don't know where it is. I know it's gone.

>> Darin: You never wear hats? I mean you. Very rarely.

>> Mike: I used to. And so in college, almost the entire time I was in college, I'd hat on my head. I was always wearing a hat. and then people like, well, that's going to make you go bald. I'm like, well, when I'm old I wear a hat. And now I don't wear hats.

>> Darin: I never wore a hat.

>> Mike: I don't like. They're uncomfortable.

>> Darin: Yeah. For me, someone asked me once if I wear a hat because I'm bald. Said no. I wear a hat because in the winter it keeps my head warm and in the summer it keeps my head from getting sunburned. And I work from home. And where my desk is located in my office, I've got one giant light right over my head. And if I wear it, it looks like my bald ass head is on fire. I mean it's literally glowing and shining, reflecting light. kind of like that scene in Tron. I don't know what I'm.

>> Mike: Yeah. Tron.

>> Darin: Yeah. The, the bright lights in Tron.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So that's why I wear a hat for several reasons. And it's just comfortable. Yeah.

>> Mike: Like.


The Baltimore Orioles are a baseball team. It's a stupid name for a team

>> Dave: Portions of this podcast were pre.

>> Darin: Recorded because I'm not crazy.

>> Mike: I was like, you're really going to put Hoffa, there, there under the 50th yard line of the Orioles. What are they, a baseball team or.

>> Darin: The Baltimore Orioles are a baseball team. Yes.

>> Mike: Wow. Sometimes I do that to be funny. But I was serious. I thought the Orioles were like a.

>> Darin: It's a stupid name for a team. Cookie, no offense, if you live in Baltimore. I don't think we have any. I don't think we have any listeners in Baltimore.

>> Mike: You know what my favorite thing and any of you yens out there.

>> Darin: Oh, y' all.

>> Mike: This man has a finite amount of soul. And periodically it's like working on a marble statue. You just. The art is there, you're just knocking the rock out from around it.

>> Darin: Gotta chip off all the parts that.

>> Mike: Don'T belong, chip away a piece of soul. And occasionally I knock off a big old lump. And man, it can be just as easy as taking old Slurpeel Slurp. This, by the way, is from my Lord of the Rings mug.

>> Darin: Why you have to do that?

>> Mike: I really Darren's. Because when I drink coffee delicious.

>> Darin: I know it does. Slurping it doesn't make it more or less delicious.

>> Mike: I disagree. I wine, tasting. they. They. I'm narrowed around.

>> Darin: They've never oxygen view on a wine.

>> Mike: You're the one that has the movie sideways.

>> Darin: That doesn't mean I have it. Yeah, yeah, you do have.

>> Mike: You let it breathe and you're never.

>> Darin: Going to watch it. Can I have it back?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: That in. That infuses oxygen.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Betwixt.

>> Darin: Betwixt the.

>> Mike: The nodules.

>> Darin: The nostrils and the nose and the.

>> Mike: Nodules of the lips.

>> Darin: Yeah. It's not against something. Against you. I would never go on a wine tasting with anybody. I hate, hate wine.

>> Mike: I like wine.

>> Darin: I can't stand it. Well, you drink it out of a box. So I mean, m. Where are you gonna do the wine testing? Behind an old abandoned Blockbuster Video.

>> Mike: Do they, do they do that?

>> Darin: Probably.

>> Mike: They get some Boone's Farm.

>> Darin: Go. Go out behind Joanne's fabric shop, shove a skewer in there and just throw.

>> Mike: It in the underground wine tastings where they put it in an old vacuum cleaner bag.

>> Darin: You know, before the crowbar opens.

>> Mike: Oh yeah.

>> Darin: You'd walk around Kroger and they're having a wine testing. I'm like, what the hell is wrong with you? All you people, you're acting like you're so sophisticated. Some old lady two aisles away from frozen fish sticks.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah. They'd have.

>> Darin: The bananas are literally right around the corner.

>> Mike: They'd have a bottle of, wine. Right next to it is the display that says this vintage is 9.99 a bottle.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And they're pouring it in those grade school swishy cups that you had to do the fluoride with.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And then they have a block of Velveeta.

>> Darin: Seriously, you're doing a wine tasting and you're like, I'm gonna take a break here. And not because I've got to go get some wet naps. I mean, they're, eight aisles over. Stupid.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You don't do a wine tasting in the same place where you can get canned hot dogs.

>> Mike: My only problem is they call it a tasting. You're drinking wine. A wine drinking.

>> Darin: It's a wine drinking.


You're not supposed to drink wine at a wine tasting

>> Mike: Go. Go get some.

>> Darin: Well, now, them fancy schmancy losers, they take. You don't swallow the wine. You swish it and then you spit it.

>> Mike: No, you don't. Yeah, no, you don't.

>> Darin: Yes, you do.

>> Mike: You're making that up.

>> Darin: I'm not. I don't know much, but I know that at, the official wine tasters will swish it and spit it out, and then they do some type of palate cleanser before they taste another wine. You're not supposed to drink wine at a wine tasting. That's why they call it a, tasting. And if you had watched sideways that I loaned you three years ago, you would know.

>> Mike: I did not know that it would be possible for me to have less respect for a wine taster. Yeah, I didn't think it would make really.

>> Darin: Yeah, they taste it. They don't drink it. Stop it.

>> Mike: That oxygen really gets. It really activates the coffee, mate. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. Is that Sanka?

>> Mike: Is that Sanka? Ah, Is that Sanka? Oh, it's vultures.

>> Darin: I thought it was Sanka.


Larry M. shares his Chick Fil a story of the week

>> Dave: It's time now for the Chick Fil a story of the week.

>> Darin: I went to Chick Fil a while I was in Indianapolis. Ordered my food. They didn't mess up my name, which was shocking. I went back there and I'm, eating, and I take a drink, and my cherry Coke tastes like piss. And I'm all the way, like, in the back of the place. I'm not close enough to. I've already taken two bites out of my food, and I'm not going to leave my food. And I don't want to carry my food up there to get my drink fixed. So I wait until somebody comes by. Hey, how's everything going?

>> Mike: My cherry Coke tastes like piss.

>> Darin: So this guy walks by, he goes, hey, how's everything going? I said, well, the food is delicious. My drink does not taste good. I don't think there's any syrup in it. It might need to be changed in the machine. Could you be a, sweetheart? A peach? Could you be a deer?

>> Mike: Could you be a doll?

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Gary, whatever his name is. Would you be my best friend and get me another cherry Coke? And he says, sure. And he takes my. Well, he's about to reach for my drink. He says, yes. Well, tell you what, I'll go get you one, but if I forget, you can go up to the front counter there and they'll get you one. Thanks. The is that he walks away.

>> Mike: And so what the hell is that?

>> Darin: I'm like, okay, I'm game. I'm gonna see if he remembers 5 minutes, 10 minutes, no cherry Coke. So another, another Chick fil a employee comes by. This, this girl, this female, this lady. And she comes to the table in front of me. Do you guys need anything? And that's like, oh, we're good. And as she's walking away, I could bet Ms. M, can you. And then she leaves. The guys at the table see me and start laughing. And then, ah, we'll get her the next time she comes around. And I said, okay. So they got her attention. And then she got me a cherry Coke. Okay, Because, Larry, that's the best line.

>> Mike: I think I've ever heard. It'd be like a plumber comes over, hey, if I forget to fix your toilet, right? You can call another plumber and they'll.

>> Darin: Come right out M. I'm like, really? Wow, really?

>> Mike: What is going through the mind of a chick fil a employee from the walk from you? I'm assuming the cherry Coke machine is in the same building.

>> Darin: It's within distance. It wasn't obstructed. You could see it from where we were.

>> Mike: Was it like the guy from Memento is taking your order? Did he have post it notes and tattoos all over himself?

>> Darin: He does not have the ability to create short term memories.

>> Mike: I mean, I don't want to offend any chick fil A workers or tails at a school here, fast food industry workers at all. I don't want to offend them because they make some of the best food that I've ever had. Yeah, but I think one of the key skills is to remember a sentence from a customer, for 30 to 50 seconds. right.

>> Darin: It's not like I said, okay, I need two packs of Chick fil a sauce. I need a soy sauce. Can you get me two forks, a spoon, one of them bendy straws if you have it. If not, I, would Like a regular straw. But can you please take the paper off of it? And I want another order of fries. But actually curly fries if you have.

>> Dave: This has been the Chick Fil A story of the week.


Whenever I'm watching a movie, there's invariably a sequence of numbers

Now back to you, Mike and Darwin.

>> Mike: Let me ask you this, okay? Because I saw that Mission Impossible is on the rundown.

>> Darin: Mission Impossible.

>> Mike: This conversation and that have reminded me of something that I used to do up until very recently. I just stopped doing this. Whenever I'm watching a movie like Mission Impossible or Impossible Mission or A really Hard Job, the Impossible or Jobs that is Difficult to Do. Whatever. And they have a. There's invariably a scene where somebody has to remember a sequence of numbers. Yes, Ethan is on the phone. Ah, the number is 848-828-489-8684. And the other dude, like, types in. I'm always like, how do they. You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't be able to be like, no, hold on. Every time that happens in a movie, huh? I'm thinking. Because when I see somebody about to say something that someone else has to remember, especially when they say, okay, pay attention. Like, I'm in.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then I try to see if I'm in that position, is the world going to explode?

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: And I am. I got a perfect record on killing every everybody. Because I can never remember those. It's the same thing. I always did it when, someone would hold their breath. You know, they have to do, like, a diving scene, and they got to hold their breath and do the thing.

>> Darin: You try to hold.

>> Mike: I would hold my breath right along with them. And I did that forever. The only thing that made me stop was when I finally learned about the act of editing, that the actor wasn't really.

>> Darin: An hour later, you wake up.

>> Mike: I'm conked out. And then I realized that, you know, Bert Kreischer really didn't hold his breath that long. He was. That they had some breaks and that they edited things together. And I was disturbingly old when I learned that. Like, over 30.

>> Darin: I remember doing this as they do. It's like when. When the bombs. When the bomb starts counting down, I start counting on with it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's like this bomb went off two minutes ago, and it's still. It goes from 10.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Nine, eight. Then they back the truck out of the driveway.

>> Mike: Oh, my God.

>> Darin: Then they pull down the street. They stop at the red light. They turn right. They. Can I get a large coffee, please?

>> Mike: They see a pink house. They take a picture of six. Yeah.

>> Darin: The Worst use the bathroom. Real quick. They go and use the bathroom. Six.

>> Mike: Yeah, it was still at six. The worst for those is the Indiana Jones. I love Indiana Jones so much. I love all the movies so much.

>> Darin: Well, Raiders.

>> Mike: Raiders of the Lost Ark. Gives me super anxiety. throw me the idol, I throw you the whip. That scene.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And you see the doors moving down and he's flat. He's full blown.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Hanging.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Like, he can't. And every time it switches over to the. The door going down, it's like, it's almost closed. It's like, well, he's dead. And then he's like. And he comes back and it's like, higher than it was before. It is like, what the hell is? My question is, what the hell?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And, no, you're right. But, yeah, I do the same thing. I count down war games with Matthew, M. Broderick and the Monkey. They had to count down when the missiles were going to launch. And I'm like, my God, that countdown started 20 minutes ago. It was a countdown from 10. and they keep going over to Dabney, Coleman or whoever else was in the movie. Was he in that movie?


Dabney Coleman should have been in every 24 movie

>> Darin: Probably.

>> Mike: I think he was.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: He should have been.

>> Darin: For sake of argument. The point is, Coleman should have been in every movie.

>> Mike: The point is, I know he's dead.

>> Darin: I think they should, make a monogram. Not monogram, some holograms of Dabney Coleman. Hologram, Dabney Coleman.

>> Mike: One of the reasons I loved those series 24 so much is because they took that seriously.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: You could count along with that, even through the commercial breaks.

>> Darin: Yes, you could.

>> Mike: You remember that? You're right, because I did that.

>> Darin: You're right.

>> Mike: There some is talking about Febreze. I'm over there going, 59, 58, 57, 56.

>> Darin: Yep.

>> Mike: Yep. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: No, you're right, because I did that one time. Yeah.

>> Mike: And sometimes they would go to commercial and then come back for a little snippet of like, 30 seconds of Jack Bauer taking it. And then it would come back to a commercial and then back to the show.

>> Darin: He never used the bathroom.

>> Mike: He's washing his hands.

>> Darin: They interviewed Back to Business. They interviewed Chloe.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And she said that they actually talked about that. They're like, well, the producers said nobody wants to see Jack coming out of the bathroom or eating. So that's why they made the choice not to do that.

>> Mike: I, would love to have seen a spoof where they just show a scene of Jack just in the room Alone? Just looking around?

>> Darin: Well, no, he was on Letterman one time promoting season two of 24, and they showed a clip. Dave says, what's this can you want to set up the clip key for? He says, yeah, this is a scene from my show. I think it happens between 7 and 8 in the morning. And yeah, okay. here's a scene from 24 and it's him pouring Honey Nut Cheerios to.

>> Mike: The bowl.

>> Darin: And then he reads the back of the box and it goes back to the timer and I'm just like, that was amazing.

>> Mike: Amazing.

>> Darin: Because that was back when I didn't know if Kiefer Sutherland had a sense of humor.

>> Mike: Oh yeah.

>> Darin: Turns out he's got a very good sense of humor. Yeah.


Lou Diamond Phillips is coming back as Chavez in Young Guns 3

>> Mike: Ah, speaking of Keeper Southern Limit. Not really. They're. They're making young guns 3.

>> Darin: Did you know I heard that?

>> Mike: I did with, with Lou Diamond Phillips is coming back as Chavez. even though he died.

>> Darin: That's what I thought. I thought he died.

>> Mike: That's. Yeah, that was the big. It was announced, in something. And then the people on Reddit are losing their minds. Chavez saw the spirit horse come.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: He was in the blanket and the spirit horse came to take him away. Okay. I guess that's. I don't know what they're gonna do. They're gonna show a deleted scene where he jumps off the horse and runs back to the land of the living. Clear. And Christian Slater. But he also died, right? Not on screen, but it was one of those things like, you know, Arkansas Dave Rudabab. It was his name. That was his name. There was a little thing at the end said he was stabbed to death or something in a poker game. So Whenever Young Guns 3 takes place, it's got to be before Arkansas Dave got shanked.

>> Mike: I don't know what they're gonna do with the timeline of Young Guns here.

>> Darin: I've gotta, yeah, I've gotta watch it again. It's been. How long has it been? 20, 30 years.

>> Mike: That's my next point. I don't know if you know this, but every actor is now 30 years older than they were or 40.

>> Darin: 40.

>> Mike: 40 years older than they were.

>> Darin: And you're still Emilio Estevez. Still looks.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Exactly the same.

>> Mike: Well, so does. So does Lou Diamond Phillips.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So m. That may be how they're gonna get away with calling it Young Guns Again. Because it's.

>> Darin: Well, you know, they're not gonna call it Old Guns.

>> Mike: No. And Christian Slater acted like a 50 year old man back then. He looks the same. Actually, it sounds the same.

>> Darin: Still looks like name. He was in that Pop Tart movie. And I'm like, damn it, Christian Slater, you're pissing me off. Because when he was in, Do you remember Pump, up the volume.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was. I never saw it, but I saw parts.

>> Darin: That was my favorite Christian Slater movie. And it may still be my favorite Christian Slater movie because he was, He figured out a way to produce his own radio signal. So he was going against the fcc, those bastards. And illegally. Yeah, illegally stealing radio airwaves, which at the time was like, the worst thing a teenager could do.

>> Mike: Yeah. At the time, we referred to it as rad.

>> Darin: That's right. It was bitching. Yeah.


I've got to watch the first two again before I go see the third one

>> Mike: But, yeah, so Young Gun three. And I am excited. so I was listening to the Young Gun soundtrack on the road trip yesterday.

>> Darin: I've got to watch the first two again before I go see the third one.

>> Mike: One. Yeah.

>> Darin: And speaking of Emilio Estevez, he had reached out to Tommy Cruise, who, I don't know if you guys know this. Spoiler alert, he's the star of Mission Impossible. He reached out to Tom Cruise, congratulated him on his new film, and he had said something to the effect of, if he had known that the Mission Impossible movies were going to be this popular and still making sequels 30 years later, he wouldn't have agreed to die in the first one.

>> Mike: Yes, true.

>> Darin: But I remember when. Do you remember the Avengers? Remember Avengers End Game?

>> Mike: I do. I'm familiar.

>> Darin: Yeah. So somebody had posted this on the social medias on the Tick tock. on one of them, this woman, this girl had taken her sister to see Avengers Endgame. And her sister had never seen any of the Marvel movies, not one of them. And so she was. She was like tweeting throughout the movie the things that her sister was asking, like a ridiculous, well, how come he can make himself so small? Because he's Ant Man.

>> Mike: It's in the name. This is not, It's not rocket science, people.

>> Darin: What kind of hammer is that? It's a.

>> Mike: It's a, Thor's hammer.

>> Darin: Thor's hammer with a J in it.

>> Mike: For some stupid reason.

>> Darin: Powerful hammer. Yeah. So she's asking all these.

>> Mike: Why is he green?

>> Darin: Exactly. Why is he.

>> Mike: Jealousy.

>> Darin: Didn't he used to be green? Yeah, yeah. So. And he's purple and M. Yeah. So she didn't understand none of it. And it was comical at the best, thinking, my God, why would you go see a movie 26 films into it? So I decided to do that with Mission Impossible.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I watched some of the first Mission Impossible and was actually bored out of my mind.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah. The first Mission Impossible is very slow.

>> Darin: Very slow. And you guys can judge. Judge me all you want. My kids were like, can we watch something else? And Libby was like, yeah, honey, anything. If we want to go back and watch that documentary about the volcano that burned everybody's skin off, we'd want to watch that before we watch.

>> Mike: In their defense, when they were making the movie, we were a lot more slow then too.

>> Darin: That's right. It was a Brian De Palma film.

>> Mike: They were trying to replicate the show and it was like. Was this like a 70s show, the.

>> Darin: Mission Impossible set in the 60s, but.

>> Mike: Back in those days they were all that slow. We've talked about it before. They would have. We would have an Incredible Hulk episode that was an hour long. And the entire plot is somebody steps on a, ah, Banner's shoe, he gets mad and punches him through a wall.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: There's an hour show.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. They were, they were very, very boring at the time.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And like you said, the Incredible Hulk an hour long. And you take out the 16 minutes with the commercials. So you got 44 minutes and 20.

>> Mike: Is the transition from him into Lou Frigno.

>> Darin: And about four of them are. Action.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Hulk throws somebody through a window and then he runs off in slow motion. Right?

>> Mike: Yeah.


So anyway, I decided I want to see Mission Impossible 8 Dead Reckoning

>> Darin: So anyway, I decided I want to see Mission Impossible 8 Dead Reckoning. Is it Dead Reckoning or Final Reckoning?

>> Mike: One of those.

>> Darin: The Reckoning of the Reckoning finalness. And boy, was I lost. No, actually, you know what, they kind of made it self explanatory, like when somebody would show up. The dude. There's a dude in the movie. I don't know his name. He's got a beard now. But they did the flashback from. I think it was the first Mission Apostle movie where, Thomas Cruise drops down from the ceiling.

>> Mike: Oh yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: He's got his arms out.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Which one? That's impossible. You're gonna fall. Your nose is gonna hit the ground.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He's supported by his waist. inertia. You're going to tilt.

>> Mike: I don't think that's what that word means.

>> Darin: You're gonna.

>> Mike: Well, I'll ride with you.

>> Darin: Okay. Penultimate.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I don't think that's what that word means. You keep using the horde. I don't think it means what you think it means. His penultimateness would have knocked him in his nose or his, his Knees. The nose or the knees are gonna hit the ground. But I digress. And anyway, he's going back up into the ceiling, and he drops his knife that sticks into the desk. The guy who found the knife, he shows up in episode, eight.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And, hey, spoiler alert. Hey.

>> Mike: Hey.

>> Darin: We're reckoning.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The Mission Impossible. And I'm like, oh, so that's. That's who that guy is.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I didn't know who was flying the yellow plane. There's a chick. And m. I'm sorry. There's a woman in Mission Possible who has blonde hair. And it's about 40 minutes into it when I looked at Libby, and I said, is she from, Guardians of the Galaxy? And Libby says, oh, yeah, that's Mantis. So Mantis is in.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: All right. Haley Atwell, who plays Captain, America's girlfriend.

>> Mike: Pen pal. Okay.

>> Darin: Dear Kelly.

>> Mike: I'm fine.

>> Darin: I got my shield buffed.

>> Mike: Hello. Yes, it's France.

>> Darin: Can't wait to see you next summer.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Love, Captain America.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So she's in it.


Tom Cruise almost dies in all his Mission Impossible movies

And of course, Tom Cruise almost dies. Everything he does, he almost dies. But I'm gonna say right now, the spoiler alert. The scene where he's hanging from the plane.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And. Pretty badass.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Pretty bad. Okay, now I know. Like the last movie, he jumped the motorcycle off the mountain. Then he jumped off the motorcycle. I don't think I would try that.

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm.

>> Darin: I'm afraid of doing that.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: No, thank you. That. You know. And then it was the movie before that, where he's hanging on the side of the NASA. The ship that goes up to the moon.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: and he was, like, on the moon. Wasn't he on the moon?

>> Mike: I don't know that he was on. I don't think he was.

>> Darin: I don't think you know what you're talking about.

>> Mike: I don't think you can do.

>> Darin: He was on the moon.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he was fighting these moon creatures.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And he doesn't have enough oxygen.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he. And so he's. But he's still fighting them, because he doesn't give up.

>> Mike: I'm a Tommy Cruise fan. I. I dig Tommy Cruise.

>> Darin: He's. He. Pretty soon, people are going to start thinking he's weird.

>> Mike: But here's the deal. And I think it's awesome that he does his own stuff.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: Uh-huh. And I was one of those guys that we like. Every time me and Bess are going to see Tom, Cruise movies, like, you know, when he jumps over the sun here. That's really him really jumping over the sun.

>> Darin: That was really him sweeping.

>> Mike: Yeah. But lately I'm just. It's. Ah. Not that it's annoying. It's just. It makes me wonder.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: If these recent Mission Impossibles, of which I. I fell off a few movies ago, so I'm a few movies back. The last one I saw was the, I think hanging from the plane thing. The first time he hung off a plane.

>> Darin: That was a Mission Impossible. Dead man's dead.

>> Mike: Ghost Protocol, I think, is the last one I saw.

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: I'm just starting to wonder if it's not T, man. Cruz wakes up and says, you know, I want to ride on the side of a bull.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: In a movie. And then they write a script around that and let him do that.

>> Darin: I think so, yeah. He's like, I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna fight for silverback, gorillas.

>> Mike: Here's what I want them to do. I want them to go back to the first Mission Impossible, because I know. And spice it, up back then. He didn't do that. I know that. He was not on a helicopter. On the front of a helicopter that exploded and shot him onto a train.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Because that's what happened when the music kicks in. so can they go back and actually do that stunt for real now?

>> Darin: If they do that, then I'll be happy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Then I'll get my money.

>> Mike: Do you know what I'm saying? I don't. I don't know what I think.

>> Darin: I know exactly.

>> Mike: What my point is, is I think it's awesome. There's so Top Gun, Maverick.

>> Darin: Maverick.

>> Mike: I was the most annoying person in my family to be. And I was like, no, he flew those. He was in that jet. He did that m. And basically,


Tom Cruise should get an Academy Award for his stunts, Garrett says

I know, I know, I know. And then she would. Sure, she would preempt me. Well, first she made the kids sit in between me and her because she's tired of my. But it got to the point where, you know, I'm sitting next to Charlie and he could feel me start to lean over, and he would preemptively say, I know he's really in the jet. Yeah, I know he really landed.

>> Darin: So you're the one saying, that's really happening. I'm the one of the dinosaur movie. You know, them dinosaurs ain't real. So you know what I think is going to happen? And write this down, y' all. All y' all write this down. The Academy Awards has decided to Make a category for Best Stunt Man. Best, stunt operation, Best stunts in a stunt person.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: So. Because for years and years and years, they have. And I agree, they have ignored this far too long. The stuntmen, the stunt women, the stunt people deserve recognition. And so I believe that Tommy Cruise is finally going to get some type of Academy Award for doing his, stunts.

>> Mike: Yeah, I saw a. I agree. I saw a comment on the, Reddit, because, you know, I'm a Redditor now.

>> Darin: You love Reddit.

>> Mike: I love the Reddit Reddit. And it got me thinking, and I can't get this out of my head. It was a comment in response to someone posted the Tropic Thunder is his character in Tropic Thunder. Oh. And someone said, you know, there's an alternate universe out there where Tom Cruise is known as a comedic actor that sometimes does action as opposed to what we have now, an action guy that sometimes does comedy. Because he started out Risky Business and those type of things. Those were like a funny. And he's almost.

>> Darin: Yeah, he started, out as a. I'm going to call a movie star. Yeah, I'm not going to. I wouldn't call him an comedic actor, but, yeah, I wouldn't call him an actor back in his early days. And I. Listen, Tom, if you're listening, I mean.

>> Mike: No offense, he's one of our biggest fans.

>> Darin: Yeah. yes, you were. You started out as a big time. You started out as a hotshot movie star. I don't know that Tom Cruise really fully showed people his acting skills until Rain Man.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Outsiders. You're not.

>> Darin: no.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I like the Outsiders. I like the Outsiders. The Outsiders had a ton of talented people. and I'd have to watch again.

>> Mike: Ralph Macchio.

>> Darin: That's right. Ralph Macchio. Patrick Swayze.

>> Mike: Thomas Howe.

>> Darin: Garrett. Yeah. See? Thomas Howell.

>> Mike: Charlie Sheen was probably in there, wasn't he?

>> Darin: Drew Carey. Yeah. The list goes on and on of people. No.

>> Mike: Ron Perlman, Ron Swanson. Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I'd choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant nothing got done.

>> Darin: Steve Carell.

>> Mike: They were all in it.

>> Darin: They were all in it.

>> Mike: Ron Burgundy. Yeah.

>> Darin: But no, it wasn't until Rain man that he really proved that he was a very, very good actor.

>> Mike: Yeah. Have you seen Magnolia?

>> Darin: I did. I thought it was weird. Af.

>> Mike: Yeah.


He destroyed his scenes in Born on the 4th of July

>> Darin: That's what the kids.

>> Mike: But he destroyed. He destroyed his scenes. Like, he. He just acted Yeah. I will say. And I'll say it like this, and this is how I say it to the kids. He acted out of that.

>> Darin: Yes, he did. He m. Was great in born on the 4th of July.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Born on the 4th of July was hard to watch. And I had a hard time with the character because I didn't think his hair and makeup was believable. And that took me away from the role. Hey, are you sitting down? I'll tell you a movie that he was great in.

>> Darin: Was. You Can't Handle the Truth.

>> Mike: Oh. A, Few Good Men.

>> Darin: A Few Good Men.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: My God.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Everyone.


So many people lose their mind about how great Jack Nicholson was in Rain Man

So, okay, so so many people lose their mind about how great Jack Nicholson was in that movie. And Jack Nicholson was great in that movie. But when he goes and gets that glass of water and his hands are shaking.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And he's like, he knows that he's got Jack Nicholson. He's got him, and he's got him. And do I have the balls to ask this question?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You want answers?

>> Mike: I think I'm entitled. You want answers? I want the truth. You can't handle the truth.

>> Darin: And I'm like, jack M. Little. Little Tommy Cruz is just, like, all up in his grill. That's what the kids say. That's. He's like going face to face with. With. He's, he is up in it.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: He was fantastic in A Few Good Men, but it was Rain Man. So many people, their minds were blown at how great Dustin Hoffman was in that movie. And yeah, Dustin Hoffman was great in that movie. But Tom Cruise went from you absolutely despised him at the beginning of the movie to where you wanted to have him come over and have dinner with you, and you loved him at the end. you wanted to hug him. Charlie Babbitt.

>> Mike: I'll hold. Fart.

>> Darin: Did you fart?

>> Mike: Right? Did you fart? How can you stand that? I don't mind it.

>> Darin: You felt for him and you wanted great things for him. He had a character arc. Dustin Huffman didn't have a character arc. He played the same character throughout. Tommy Cruz had that despicable to loved.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Character arc. That's my story, and I'm sticking with it. Yeah.


Last week's episode was supposed to be brought to you without commercial interruption

We're running out of time, but before we go, I need to apologize for last week's episode.

>> Mike: I heard that. It's good.

>> Darin: It's a great episode. It really is a great episode. But I've got to talk to our editors. Last week's episode was supposed to be brought to you without Commercial interruption brought to you by Whompers All Beef Footlong hot dogs. And I'll be damned if there's not three Whompers commercials inside the episode.

>> Dave: Nothing tastes better at a cookout than a Whompers All Beef Footlong hot dog.

>> Darin: So why did we say, here we are. We're lying to our fans. We told them it's brought to you without commercial interruption. And then there's commercials throughout the episode. So I apologize. We're looking into it. We're gonna find out what we can do, and we're gonna make sure that it doesn't happen again. We are gonna go. We want you to go to, Instagram, Tick tock, Facebook.

>> Mike: what did you call the blue sky?

>> Darin: We're on blue sky. I don't even know what blue sky is, but, my God, we're on it.

>> Mike: We're on X.

>> Darin: We are.

>> Mike: We never put anything on there, but we're on there.

>> Darin: Oh, no. We put our episode on every week.

>> Mike: We do put her up.

>> Darin: And I'm the only person who likes and shares it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it's sad.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But we ask you. Hey, hey, hey. Be like Rob Remke.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We've got a fan of the show named Rob Remke, and every single time we drop a video, Rob puts a little like on it, and I get this notification. Rob Rimke liked your video.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Be more like Rob. More like Rob. Yeah. If you like our videos, if you share our videos, then it helps us take over the world. That's what we want to do. We hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: If you've enjoyed this episode, then I know you'll enjoy our other episodes. And guess what? They're all available to listen to right now from our website, irritable dadsyndrome.com Irritable Dad Syndrome is a Mark Goodson, Bill Todman production.

>> Darin: No way I would have said something like that. Especially under a hot mic.

>> Mike: Vera Faucet in the front and,

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Mullet in the back. What?

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: Completely cut down. So what's their names, Top? Jimmy and. And Laser Net in the back of the rv. Yeah, that. You know, when Walt has the. The gas mask on. Getting ready.

>> Darin: Jimmy and laser net.

>> Mike: Crazy 8 crazy.

>> Darin: I don't think Laser Net. It's like Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm Laser.

>> Mike: Laser Face.

>> Darin: Really? Really?

>> Mike: Laser Face has nothing to do. Nothing. This episode.

>> Darin: Nothing.

>> Mike: It's not even remotely funny.

>> Darin: Nope.

>> Mike: But I enjoyed it.

>> Darin: Yep. Like, the rest of the show is.

>> Mike: A big hit How m to lose.

>> Darin: Weight without diet or exercise? Pretty much leaves disease, doesn't it? You get right down to it. Yes. I was able to lose over 60 pounds without diet or exercise.

>> Mike: Without.

>> Darin: What's my secret? Well, I was lucky enough to be seriously ill for a year and a half.