IDS #263 - Two Guys Five Cups

Are you ready to go this? I. Am. Ready. You ready for words to come out of your mouth

>> Mike: Are you ready to go this?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Ready. Ready to go this? I. There was so many.

>> Darin: You ready to. Words. Mouth. You ready for words to come out of your mouth?

>> Mike: Letter. Word. I didn't get the first letter right. And I. Even the second letter, I mispronounced it. You ready to go this?

>> Darin: That's kind of scary.

>> Mike: Holy.

>> Darin: When the first thing you try to say is,

>> Mike: You ready to go this? I'm ready to get my skivvies giggered.

>> Darin: I'm ready to go this.

>> Mike: We gonna get the beechnut in there now.

>> Darin: Get down, Mama. I think you should lose the first line and the last line and all of the other lines, and instead, just walk up to the mic and meow really loudly for eight minutes.

>> Mike: Okay?


Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. It's just like a tractor pull, just without all the mud and the tractors. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hello, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 263. How you doing?

>> Mike: If you were concerned that perhaps you're not listening to the correct podcast, you are indeed.

>> Darin: Oh, are you so wrong?

>> Mike: Exactly where you need to be, you have never.

>> Darin: Are they wrong or are they right?

>> Mike: They're right, but in the wrong way. Welcome to the show.

>> Darin: To the show.

>> Mike: If you like what you hear. Yeah, because we gotta say this in the beginning because some of you muskratchers just don't make it to the end. If you like what you hear, join us at Irritable Dad Syndrome dot com. You can sign up for our email list. You get notifications of when we go live, all these fun things. You can. We are everywhere. We're on every platform, everywhere you get your podcast. We're on the YouTubes, we're on the X's Twitter.

>> Darin: We're in your grocery store.

>> Mike: We're on the. The giggle. We're on the Spotify. All of it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You can follow us on all those things. Of course.

>> Darin: Apple podcast. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: Who are on Apple?

>> Darin: Come on, check us out.

>> Mike: We're fun. and we like to have you here. If you would like to support us, there's all kinds of fun little perks. Oh, yeah, you get to hear us say the naughty words. That's one of the perks.

>> Darin: That is.

>> Mike: And what's more American than that?

>> Darin: I can't think of anything right off the top of my head, but, yeah, you can go to irritable dadcenter.com you can join Patreon. Right? And you could Help us financially if you want to. If you don't want to do that, one thing you can do is you can go to Instagram or TikTok or Facebook Reels, any place where our videos are shown. Excuse me. You can like those and, share those and that would help us.

>> Mike: The videos are but a small slice of the show.

>> Darin: Very small. So they're a sampling of the greater good. That is Irritable dad syndrome.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: How you doing?

>> Mike: Yeah. All right.

>> Darin: Yeah, I'm all right. So this is odd for me. I don't know how to exactly what to do with my hands.

>> Mike: You look like you're about to do a magic trick if you guys are watching on video. Darren has three.

>> Darin: Normally when I do this podcast, I will get a glass of water.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: For some reason, the water at Mike's house tastes better than water anywhere. And I don't understand. It must be the filter or something. So I normally get a glass of water. Now Mike usually gets a cup of coffee and I thought, hey, hey, can I get a cup of coffee tonight maybe? Absolutely.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: I, might need a little something something to get get me through this podcast tonight. So Mike says, sure. And he pours me a cup of blueberry coffee.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Which is really good. So I've got my coffee and my water and then Bess, who's Mike's wife, lovely lady. You would enjoy her if you ever met her. She was making a smoothie for Charles, which is, Charlie, Mike's kid, Darren. Do you want some smoothie? Sure. So I've got coffee, a smoothie, ice water.

>> Mike: If you're watching on Stream, there's two guys and there's five cups in front of us. And Darren's double fisting right now.

>> Darin: Two guys, five cups.

>> Mike: That's the title.

>> Darin: And we got it within the first four minutes. Yeah.


So you excited for the new Superman? Uh, are you getting there at all

>> Mike: So you excited for the new Superman? are you getting there at all? Have you seen the trailer with the teeth hitting the camera?

>> Darin: No, I'm not. And I'll tell you why. I like Superman. Yeah, I do like Superman.

>> Mike: He's the. He's the American hero.

>> Darin: I. Yes, well, G.I. joe.

>> Mike: Yeah, G.I. joe is the greatest.

>> Darin: Superman from here. No, he is an alien.

>> Mike: He's a foreigner.

>> Darin: He's right.

>> Mike: But he came here. Actually, he didn't even come here legally.

>> Darin: No, he did not just crash landed in a cornfield.

>> Mike: He's an undocumented.

>> Darin: He didn't go through customs. No, nothing.

>> Mike: But what is.

>> Darin: He is undocumented.

>> Mike: What the government found is that when they Tried to arrest him. He's. He's the man of Steel.

>> Darin: That's true.

>> Mike: Breaks right through.

>> Darin: His eyes have lasers.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right. And he can see through things.

>> Mike: And he can throw that. He can take the S off of his chest and throw it at one of Zod's generals.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And it'll just take him out.

>> Darin: It's like a cellophane, wrap thing.

>> Mike: Here's. And not many people know this. He can fly.

>> Darin: He can fly.

>> Mike: Can fly very fast.

>> Darin: He once flew around the whole ding dang planet like, 50 times.

>> Mike: And he did it so fast.

>> Darin: He did it so fast that he.

>> Mike: Made time go backwards. Time went backwards so that all that rocks and stuff didn't go into Lois Lanes. Did not kill whatever the hell she was driving. She was driving out there in the desert.

>> Darin: She was driving.

>> Mike: Why was she out there?

>> Darin: Pontiac.

>> Mike: Why was she out there? I know Lex was. He was. He was going to do something with real, estate. Lex Luthor took the cane and he hit that glass thing.

>> Darin: Yeah. He opened up the earth, and her car fell into the earth.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: And that's where she almost, suffocated.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: On the dirt.

>> Mike: You see her. You see the Dirk. It was very traumatizing as a kid. When I was a kid, when I was on. I was traumatized.

>> Darin: Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. I still. Anyway, so I like Superman. I like him like him. I. I like him very much. there ain't no Superman like Christopher Reeve.

>> Mike: True.

>> Darin: And, the. What's it, Brandon, Roush. Yeah, he's good. I like him. But they lost me.

>> Mike: Kind of the creepy super.

>> Darin: They lost me. Completely lost me at Superman vs Batman. They lost me. And I was, like, kind of done with those.

>> Mike: Nobody wants to watch the bros fight.

>> Darin: No. Even. And then they did the DC version of the Avengers. The six of them. That is the series known as.


I tried watching Justice League. I couldn't get through it

>> Mike: I'm sorry, The Justice League.

>> Darin: Justice League.

>> Mike: Justice League.

>> Darin: I tried watching Justice League. I tried giving it the old, re. Watch.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I couldn't get through it. Yeah, I couldn't. I just couldn't. So now they're making it again. And even though they got James Gunn, and everybody thinks that James Gunn is going to just save the DC Universe.

>> Mike: It looks pretty good.

>> Darin: It may be amazing. But I. And this is. This is an unpopular opinion. I wasn't thrilled with what James Gunn did with Guardians of the Galaxy 3.

>> Mike: Whoa.

>> Darin: I.

>> Mike: That was supposed to be, like, the best Marvel movie of all time.

>> Darin: Time. I see the best Marvel movies since Endgame List. Guardians of the Galaxy 3 is always, always at the top.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I don't get it. And it ain't just me. Jacob couldn't really get into it. Cameron didn't get into it. Libby thought it was okay, you know. And Yeah. So I don't know. Will I go see it? Sure, yeah. I've got nothing else to do. We're excited doing this podcast with you. I have no life, no aspirations, nothing to look forward to.


The reason I'm going to see Superman is the trailers

>> Mike: Well, we're excited because Nathan Fillion is playing the Green, whatever guy.

>> Darin: The Green Hornet.

>> Mike: The Green guy. And he has a bowl cut. And then there was a lot of, wailing and gnashing of teeth on the interwebs about his bowl cut. And what a dorky look like.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then, the nerds, the comic book nerds started plastering pictures of the original green guy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And he looks just like the Nathan Fillion guy. So now you have this big, this battle back and forth with them.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I like the fact the reason I'm going to see Superman is the trailers. the Superdog.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I want to see Crypto.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And probably the best ad I've seen for any Superman ever since the Christopher Reeve ones.

>> Mike: There was a Tick Tock ad where it, the camera goes to Clark Kent with his glasses and everything. Yes. He's doing an interview and it, the camera pans over and it's Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then it, when it pans over to them, they go, wait, who are you? And it comes back and he's taking his glasses off and they have no idea who he is. Oh, it's. I. Dad cackled. This is the humor that I want in my Superman.

>> Darin: Yeah. Again, I'll go see it. But I'm not like losing my mind over it. I'm not really. It's like, I'm gonna go see the new Jurassic World movie.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And that may be amazing. It's got ScarJo.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I like ScarJo best.

>> Mike: And the kids are excited about that one. I'm kind of. I'm, I don't know. I'm done with the dinosaurs.

>> Darin: Cameron wants to see the how to Train youn Dragon.

>> Mike: Ah. And the live action version.

>> Darin: The live action version. And there's a guy on Tick Tock. He's a movie critic and his opinion I respect very much. Every time he talks about a movie and why it didn't hit him in the places where it's supposed to, I'm like, that makes sense.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And this guy's like, there's no reason to make how to Train youn Dragon. Yeah. at all. Because they didn't expound upon it. They just made a live action version. It's a little bit longer. Yeah. Movies don't excite me like they used to, and that makes me feel old. And it saddens me a little bit because I can't remember the last time I was, like, stupid excited for a movie since Avengers Endgame.

>> Mike: Well, if that didn't get you excited, this sure as hell won't.


Dave Lay: John Wick Ballerina is in theaters now

Okay, they're making another. A new John Wick Ballerina. Bringing him back. No, that's a new character.

>> Darin: Okay. Yeah, but there's the John Wick. his daughter is Ballerina, and that's in theaters now.

>> Mike: He has a daughter?

>> Darin: You don't know about John Wick Ballerina?

>> Mike: I know about Ballerina. That's not his daughter.

>> Darin: Well, who is it?

>> Mike: It's in the theaters now.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: How do you know that?

>> Darin: How do you not know about this?

>> Mike: Hold on.

>> Darin: Do you not have the John Wick, Aren't you on the John Wick app that notifies you whenever somebody says, thinks, feels something about John Wick?

>> Mike: No, I didn't. So I know Ballerina is an. Is a. A, skin in the cod. That's how I know about it. What My question is, what the hell? It's a skin in cod.

>> Darin: What does that mean?

>> Mike: Oh, from the world of John Wick Ballerina.

>> Darin: Yeah. How do I know about damned. how do I know about a John Wick movie? Because I thought for 20.

>> Mike: 25 film.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's in theaters now. I thought for sure you'd be going, hey, Darren, let's go see. I know you hate John Wick.

>> Mike: He was released June 6th. That was 11 days ago.

>> Darin: Yes. Ah. is it his daughter?

>> Mike: It's a daughter of two assassins. It's not John Wick's dog, okay? John Wick has no daughter. He's alone. He's. That's what? He's John nothing.

>> Darin: He has no acting skills, I'll tell you that.

>> Mike: Okay. There. There went all of our viewers. Yeah.

>> Darin: This show is.

>> Mike: You have the uncanny, ability.

>> Darin: This episode hasn't started out at all like I thought it would.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you just tell everyone how much Lord of the Rings sucks all over America while you're at it? How you doing?

>> Darin: I'm good.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Ah, hey, I wanted to say a big shout out to this guy. His name is Doug Kramer. Who's Doug Kramer, you might ask.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Doug Kramer is the brother of this woman named Regina. She is a friend of Libby and myself. And a couple of weeks ago, we were at Regina's house that her son Isaac was having a graduation party. And Doug comes over and he says, hey, Darren, how's it going? And I'm good, Doug. How are you? That's how we talk to each other. And Doug said, hey, I really like your podcast.

>> Mike: Holy.

>> Darin: I had no idea that Doug had even been listening to the podcast.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: But he has been listening to the podcast, and. And he made a point to come over and tell me, and he talked to me for, like, 10 or 15 minutes about how much he liked the podcast.

>> Mike: Is there any particular part that he likes?

>> Darin: He. Dave Lay.

>> Dave: Check. 1, 2, 3. Hi, I'm Dave Lay.

>> Darin: He likes Dave Lay.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: No, he likes Dave Lay. And then he was talking about a, story that you had, brought up. And I can't remember what story was, but I was thrilled because he liked the podcast. But he mentioned Dave and then a story of yours, and then he got distracted and started talking to somebody else that I'm just hanging like. And. And what was it that I said that you like Doug? Yeah. So. But anyway, Doug likes the podcast, and he made a point to tell me.


Doug: Someone who will like the podcast if they ever listen to it is Conan

And Doug, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Someone else who I think will like the podcast if they ever listen to it, is Conan o' Brien. Yeah. And we're trying very, very hard. Conan, if you're listening, which you might be, and there may be somebody out there who knows you who listens to this podcast.

>> Mike: I could see him listening to maybe 30 seconds and then rolling his eyes.

>> Darin: Well, this would be the episode that he would not get over the whole 25 minutes talking about Superman. He. Yeah, he's. We, already lost Conan, so I'm hoping that if he fast forwards and gets to this part, that. Conan. We're still wanting to go on your podcast, so, give us a call.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: What in the hell kind of sales approach is that? You boys couldn't sell a dollar for 50 cents? It has been asked, it has been requested. People have said and opined that perchance, I should do a stand up thing. M. So I do.

>> Darin: I think you should do stand up comedy.

>> Mike: What I've started to do, okay, is to create a list. It's really, opined. it's gonna be one of these things if I. If I drop dead. They're gonna take this thing out and say, look at how disturbed this guy was.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: But I've.

>> Darin: As I say, well, don't ever let somebody see what you call your set list.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because no one's gonna understand what you're talking about. You know, you have to set it up. You have to set it up and then go through the whole thing. You know, it's like you can write down barbecue biscuits and be like, what? That's hilarious. Oh, no. But if you go for 20 minutes talking about barbecue biscuits.

>> Mike: Yeah. I mean, I don't think that's going to happen because I can't even find the thing.

>> Darin: This is the worst episode we've ever done editing.

>> Mike: Darren, you need to cut most of this stuff out.

>> Darin: I'm almost at the point where we start over.

>> Mike: No, never. Half ass, two things. Whole ass, one thing.


Mike and Darren discuss irritable Dead syndrome in this podcast

>> Dave: Welcome to irritable Dead syndrome. Business in the front, party in the back. Welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Mike: It's been a rough few days for me, so I'm just. I'm glad to be alive.

>> Darin: I had, at this point, I've had a rough few weeks.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: How many times have you been to the, do you call it the dmv? The Division of Motor Vehicles or the bmv? The Bureau of Motor.

>> Mike: It's the dmv. And I get pissed off when people are. Is it the bmv? Dmv?

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Mike: I don't call it the dmv.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But it is the bmv. In Ohio. In Ohio.

>> Darin: so three weeks ago, I mentioned a while back that my son Cameron has a new car.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He has a Chevy tracks. Okay. So the plates, the, temporary tags, as the kids say, they were about to expire.

>> Mike: The registration, the.

>> Darin: The temporary tags, the ones on the back of the car. Okay. we're about to expire. They had like a couple weeks. So I drive down to the DMV and I say, yeah. And I put my name on the kiosk.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I was waiting for them to screw up my name, which they didn't. And I was disappointed. So I put my name in the kiosk and I wait probably 20 to 25 minutes, and I get up there and I say, yeah, I need to get, a license plate for this new car. And I didn't have the. What's called the Miranda title that the dealership mails to you. and I'm like, the what? The Miranda title. And I called it the Miranda title for a while. Named after.

>> Mike: You have the right to remain silent.

>> Darin: Who gives you your rights?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, okay, I didn't know that I screwed up. And then I said, well, while I'm here, my driver's license, I don't have what's called the real id. So if I fly, I can't fly with this, driver's license. And she said, do you have your birth certificate or your passport with you? No, I don't. Well, I can't change this over. You have to have your birth certificate, your passport, or another form of identification. So I went all the way out to the Division of Motor Vehicles.

>> Mike: This is in Hamilton.

>> Darin: In Hamilton. It takes about 20 minutes to drive down there. I was there for about a half hour and then the 20 minutes to get back. So I wasted a good hour and change of my day because I didn't know what I was doing. And the moral of the story is I've got to figure out what I'm doing before I start doing things. So the next week, I go back to the Division of Motor Vehicles. This time I have the Miranda. Miranda. The Miranda. The thing. I've got the Miranda title. Okay. I've got my birth certificate. I don't have a passport, but I have a piece of mail that comes in the mailbox.

>> Mike: This is the best episode I know, right?

>> Darin: So I've got that, and I drive all the way down there, and I put my name in the kiosk, and I waited 20, 30 minutes. I get up there and I say, yes, I want to get tags for this car. And I show the random title to the lady. And the car is in my mom's name. My mom bought the car?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And she said, bring your mom. Is your mom here?

>> Mike: I said, no, here we go.

>> Darin: But I have my birth certificate with my name and her name proving that the name on the Miranda title matches the name of my mother. That's not good enough. That's not good enough.

>> Mike: There's pictures of you together with her.

>> Darin: I showed her my Facebook page.

>> Mike: You should have to prove.

>> Darin: Here's me and my mom.

>> Mike: You have a mother?

>> Darin: I have one, yes.

>> Mike: Yeah. Most people alive were born of a mother.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: So she won't sell me a license plate, which I think is ridiculous. Like, is there some wild group of heathens going around while buying willy nilly license plates? So, she says, here, take this form. It's a power of attorney.


Last time I tried to do something online was when my mom's license plates expired

I need to. Oh, my Lord, sign this power of attorney. And then I fill out my part, and mom fills out her part. And then basically on paper, she gives me permission to buy a license plate for a car. I'm like, oh, good God.

>> Mike: So you can do this? This is, you can do this stuff online, right? Do you have.

>> Darin: Because it's, you know, I don't know how to do anything online.

>> Mike: I'm just saying, I, I maybe I like click things. and it's disturbingly easy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It, I mean, I don't know why anyone would buy my license plate for me.

>> Darin: That's, that's true.

>> Mike: But someone could.

>> Darin: Now I, Okay. And I know you're what you're going to say because you always give me. Because of how ignorant.

>> Mike: Don't steal my thunder.

>> Darin: Ignorant. I am doing things, trying to do things online. The last time I tried to do something online was, when my mom's license plates expired.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I was trying to renew them online. And everything I clicked everything, I went to boom, boom. It would not do it. I found out it wouldn't do it because her tags had expired beyond the point of doing them online.

>> Mike: You're at the point where you need to go into an interrogation room and explain where you've been for the previous three months.

>> Darin: So I'm of the opinion just go down there and do it. face to face. Yeah, face to face. Okay. So I'm talking to mom and Mom's like, oh, good lord. I'll just go down with you. Okay. It's like, okay. So Monday morning she went down with me. Oh, by the way, I was able to do my, my driver's license.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I've got, I've got a real ID coming.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So if I need to fly, I can fly now. So mom goes down there with me. We left at 7:30 in the morning. We got there about 10 minutes before the place opens. I'm like first in line. I m. Was like Clark Griswold. First in line. First one here, first one out, baby. Yes. They unlocked the door and I look at this woman, I said, hi, good morning. And she says, sign in please. Good morning to you too. Welcome to the She is just bureau already pissed of motorized and particulars. I one foot was in the door when I said good morning. And she said, sign in please. She's already not having it.

>> Darin: She's not having it.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: So we sign in and it couldn't have gone easier. Okay. It went smoothly. Completely smooth. I go up there and I say, yes, I need to buy these tags. This is my mom. She's the person who purchased the Car. And mom showed her her license, and we did all the things. And then the lady said, do you want to renew your license in January of 2026?

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: Or would you like to push it out? I said, I could push it out. Yeah. I said, wait, I can push it out. Yeah. Ah, you can push it out? I said, how long can I push it out? She says, how long do you want to push it out? And I said, how long can I push it out? Are you sitting down?

>> Mike: I'm sitting down.

>> Darin: She says, you can push it out for four years. I'm, Like, son of a. Wow. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: By God, yes. I'm gonna push it out.

>> Mike: You pay for each year.

>> Darin: Like, right then and there, I'm pushing it out for four years. I got a sticker of on that license plate that said 2030.

>> Mike: Holy Lord.

>> Darin: And I was thrilled. That was the most exciting thing to happen to me in forever.


I'm like, I don't have to. I paid it, and it's taken care of for four years

I'm like, I don't have to. I mean, now, granted, with our license plates and stuff, we. You know, we have those mailed to us in the mail. In the U.S. mail. The. The Pony express. But still, I don't have to deal with that. M. I paid it, and it's taken care of for four years.

>> Mike: Holy Lord. Yes.

>> Darin: I might not even be around when that thing expires.

>> Mike: Yeah. I think I did see that option online, but I'm putting a tag on a Kia. and I wanted to see if there was a monthly option. They. You can't. You can't do that.

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by books. Buy a book at a reputable bookstore or check one out for free at your local public library. Read one today. They're really cool.


Have you heard that there are carp the size of a Volkswagen in Ohio River

Now back to the show.

>> Mike: Have you heard that there are carp the size of a Volkswagen at the bottom of the Ohio River?

>> Darin: I have not heard that.

>> Mike: Or. I'm sorry. Catfish.

>> Darin: There are catfish the size of a Volkswagen.

>> Mike: It's rumored.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: That there's catfish.

>> Darin: Was it on the Internet?

>> Mike: This is before. This is way before the Internet.

>> Darin: Well, why are you bringing it up now?

>> Mike: Because we were next to the Ohio river, very close to it, and I told Charlie that, and he said, and I quote, no, they're not. I was like, yes, there are. I. People told me that when I was a kid, and then that's when Andrew looked at me like I was crazy. So I looked it up on the interwebs, and it turns out it's not true. But. But.

>> Darin: Okay. But it could have been.

>> Mike: It could. There are Very large catfish down there for over £100. And there are reports. There are. Excuse me, there are reports of catfish, in other countries that have gotten up to 350lbs and are as large as a small, which I didn't know they came in different sizes. Volkswagen.

>> Darin: A small Volkswagen.

>> Mike: Small Volts. Not one of those big Volkswagen buses?

>> Darin: No. VW Microbus.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: With the shovels and rakes and implements that destruction.

>> Mike: But the way I heard it was, kids, I know somebody's a diver and they went down there. First of all, who's diving there?

>> Darin: No, but, yeah.

>> Mike: Ah. So Charlie, you know, we were by the river and he said, do you want me to go? what would you do if I pulled a Sharon woods here? Now you may be asking yourself, what is pulling a Sharon?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: When Charlie was about two years old, I took him to Sharon Woods. So it's a. Would you call it a lake or is it a pond? What is that? It's a lacish. A pondish lake or lacish pond. It's, you can see the other shore.

>> Darin: I'm gonna call it a pond.

>> Mike: A pond.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Well, it had a layer of algae. Algae, algae, algae on it that was.

>> Darin: Green, so that's the color. Algae.

>> Mike: It looked like there was no real shore there, that it was just more grass. And Charlie jumped off the pier onto what he thought was grass. He went straight down. He's.

>> Darin: And he's still there.

>> Mike: He's two. So I wretched down into the murky, ungodly water. I remember grabbing him around the neck.

>> Darin: Saved your son's life.

>> Mike: And I yanked him up and he was sputtering and course there were people screaming, oh, my God. And all this stuff. And it pulled him out and calmed him down. He didn't seem to. He said, he said later that he was down there, his eyes were open and he said he thought he saw some fish.

>> Darin: He's like, well, he probably saw the Loch Ness monster. I said, I ain't giving you no tree fitting Loch Ness monster. Get your own dumb money.

>> Mike: I was gonna say, if you. That's where you would see him.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Is where you were.

>> Darin: Yes. If you were looking for fish, that would be the place.

>> Mike: So when he said, do you want me to do a, Sharon woods here? He was going to jump into the pier and off of the pier. And I said, buddy, first off, I don't ever want you to do another Sharon.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: But second, this is the Ohio River.

>> Darin: Do not dip your toe in that there.

>> Mike: You want to lose it there Is literal feces, toxic waste.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Dead bodies, aliens, Jimmy Hoffa, camel dung. Everything is in that river. And then he asked me if I had ever been in the river, and I said, of course I had when I was a little kid.

>> Darin: But not the Ohio River.

>> Mike: Yes, the Ohio River. I didn't know any better. And, my dad didn't see fit to warn me.


Here's something I learned about the Ohio River: It's mostly water

Me and my buddy, we were all up and down in that river. At what point of the river By Huntington, West Virginia.

>> Darin: Oh, well, then that's different.

>> Mike: No, it was brown.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It was not a good place. And I know that it's mostly mud, but when someone in the toilet. It's mostly water. But there's some turds in there.

>> Darin: Here's something I learned about the Ohio River.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: When we first moved up here. And you would go, do you remember the mall?

>> Mike: The mall.

>> Darin: Going into a mall.

>> Mike: Yeah. Because I was at the mall this.

>> Darin: Weekend here in Cincinnati. We have the Kenwood Mall, and we used to have the Tri County Mall in Springdale.

>> Mike: Tri County Mall used to be the bizarre.

>> Darin: It was, an amazing mall.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Absolutely amazing. But you would go through this mall and they would have, some photo galleries, some places where you could buy artwork, things to put in your office or in your home.

>> Mike: Like Spencer's.

>> Darin: No, no, no. Spencer's is a different type of gallery all together.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: So you go into these photo places where they would. You could buy this artwork, and they would have Cincinnati skyline pictures that you could buy for your. Again, for your office. Yeah, you could. If, like, if you wanted to hang it at your Moose Lodge, you could buy one there for the kids.

>> Mike: A moose lodge is where you put your moose.

>> Darin: These pictures.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Of the Cincinnati skyline had a blue river. The water of the Ohio river was blue.

>> Mike: There's not a blue river within one, hundred miles of Cincinnati.

>> Darin: No, the Ohio river is not watercolor.

>> Mike: If it was gonna be accurate, it would be brown with a dead body floating in it.

>> Darin: Yes. An elbow floating down the river, maybe.

>> Mike: Skyline floating along with it. We should do an accurate Cincinnati skyline.

>> Darin: Yeah. Now, if you want to take a great picture of the Cincinnati skyline, do it at night.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Don't take one during the day because. Yeah. They doctor. They Photoshop. It ain't real. Kids. That river is nice and golden brown. Last week, my son Cameron went to an animation camp at the University of Cincinnati. Okay. Because that's what he is interested in studying now is this Computer animation. Computer animation. Okay. So he wants to go. He eventually wants to work For Pixar, okay? And I am all about him working for Pixar. Because when he gets a job at Pixar, he can rub elbows with people and then Daddy can do a voice of a character in a Pixar or.

>> Mike: Get a coupon for free popcorn.

>> Darin: Yes. Now, listen, I'm not stupid. I know they're not going to give me a character like Sheriff Witty, okay? Something that dominates movie. I want to do the voice of a character who says, would you like more popcorn, sir? And then. That was me.

>> Mike: You just did that.

>> Darin: I was in the movie.

>> Mike: For a second there, I thought I was starstruck.

>> Darin: Thank you. Right? I'm good. I am good at doing voices. I want to do one character, one line in one movie. Okay? That's all I'm asking.

>> Mike: You could. You could sing the. Let's all go to the lobby.

>> Darin: Let's all, go to the lobby. Yeah, I could do that. I could totally do that.


Cameron wants to work for Pixar, and he went to computer animation camp

So anyway, Cameron wants to work for Pixar, and he went to computer animation camp at the University of Cincinnati. The guy who's teaching the class was the guy who directed Jimmy Neutron, boy genius.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yes. Invention with a superpowered mind A mechanical canine rescues the day from sure destruction. This is the theme song.

>> Mike: Bert Snuffle.

>> Darin: I. I, meant to write down his name, and I feel like. But you can.

>> Mike: You can edit it in later. Like one of those.

>> Darin: The guy who was Mark Snodgrass.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So the guy who directed Jimmy Neutron is teaching this class. And Cameron comes home, day one, and tells us, guess who's teaching the class? And we're like, who? And he goes, the guy who directed Jimmy Neutron.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: Are you kidding me?

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: Because we own it on dvd. We've watched it I don't know how many times. We love the movie. So at the end of the week, Friday, we went down and they had, like, a showcase, and everyone was demonstrating, some of the things they learned and showing the things that they've. They've made. And it was pretty cool. Jacob and I could not stop talking to the director of Jimmy Neutron. What was it like when they did this? And the aliens were really cool and how did that work? And. And God love him, he would not stop talking to us. Yeah, he answered every single one of the questions. And I asked him, I said, so what's the guy got to do to get a voice in a cartoon? His advice was, get an agent. Practice a lot. But anyway, we met the director of Jimmy Neutron, boy genius, and could not have been Nicer.


This portion of the show features the ES 1932 scissor lift

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by the ES 1932 scissor lift. Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and when it comes to working with heights, I don't screw around with ladders. I do the job right with the ES 1932 scissor lift. If you have high ceilings, this bad boy is ideal for indoor maintenance. And it's perfect for outdoor construction projects, too. This electric scissor lift has twice the battery power of a standard scissor lift. It can power through tough terrain. The platform is strong enough to hold plenty of weight. And with a silencing muffler, this scissor lift is much quieter than diesel models. The ES 1932 scissor lift for people who don't screw around with ladders. Certified users only. Now back to the show.

>> Darin: Have you ever made a tuna casserole, Mike?

>> Mike: I'm anti tuna.

>> Darin: Really, I am. now, Jacob went through this kick, and he was like, I'm going to start eating a lot of tuna. He decided he's going to buy these cans of tuna and he's going to.

>> Mike: Mercury be damned.

>> Darin: Exactly. He's going to eat the tuna. And he was. I don't know why. Like, he thought he needed to lose weight. The boy doesn't need to lose weight at all. If anything, he could stand to put on a pound or two. Yeah, the kid does not have any need to lose weight whatsoever. But he bought all these cans of tuna. They've been in our pantry for months.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And so I'm like, dude, are you ever gonna eat the tuna?

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm gonna eat the tuna.

>> Darin: And he doesn't eat. So I said, I'm gonna make a tuna casserole.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. And I went on the Internet, the Google, interwebs, and I googled tuna casserole recipe one from Campbell's Pops Up.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: And the stupid directions said, add salt to taste. Thanks. I never thought of that.

>> Mike: You just add. Add as much as you feel you need.

>> Darin: I never thought that adding salt might make it taste better.

>> Mike: Yeah, it might.

>> Darin: Stupidest thing I've ever heard. But we, made the tuna casserole, ate it, and then I had no desire to eat any of the leftovers.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It did not. It did not make me feel good.

>> Mike: Eating tuna casserole is kind of, How do I say this without being offensive?

>> Darin: Yeah. We've already offended one group of people.

>> Mike: It's one of those things. You eat it once and you're done for a long time.

>> Darin: Long time.

>> Mike: And it's not that it's terrible.

>> Darin: It is.

>> Mike: You enjoy it. The first two or three bites.

>> Darin: Yeah. Then like, what am I doing?

>> Mike: It's like, what am I doing with my life? Where have I. What's happened that's brought me to this point? And I made this decision. You finish it and then you just want to get it out of your life for a long time.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. This is the worst episode. I hope to God Conan doesn't listen to this.

>> Mike: This will be the one. This is the one.

>> Darin: This is the one I'm gonna have to put on. I'm sorry, Conan, Please do not listen to this episode.

>> Mike: This is, Yeah.

>> Darin: Ah, this is gonna be the one. We've been wanting him to do an interview with us for months and he's gonna listen to this episode. He's like, why would I bring these guys on the show if all they're gonna talk about a damn tuna castle.

>> Mike: It's been a good ride. I mean, we've made it 262.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: Episodes.

>> Darin: It's been fun.


We finally decided we're going to get rid of our deck

Did I tell you that we've got somebody out at the house and he's, building us a new deck.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: We finally decided we're going to get rid of our deck. Our old deck was just falling apart. You lean on it, it starts to really, you know, move forward. It's not supposed to move.

>> Mike: No. The decks are supposed to be Decks.

>> Darin: Decks. They're supposed to. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, you. I couldn't have said it better, Mike.

>> Mike: Decks are good if you want to walk into your backyard, but walk on wood.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's really what they're for.

>> Darin: That's exactly what they're for.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So we finally decide we're getting rid of our deck. Right. Our steps for the deck are like at a 45 degree angle. It's ridiculous. Trying to climb up the steps to get up or down into the yard.

>> Mike: I've almost broken a hip on your damn deck steps.

>> Darin: It's a death trap. It really is. And then they go down and then they rest on these concrete blocks.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So whoever did it, I don't think did it up to code.

>> Mike: A crack addled carpenter with a death wish.

>> Darin: So this guy, it says a demolition is going to begin next week. And I said, okay, fantastic. And so demolition day comes. That we, they bring this dumpster, put it in our driveway and the night before, and then here we are, ready for demolition. It's one Guy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: With a hammer, with some tools, with an electric. With a sawzall. Is that what they call it? With an electric saw. One guy comes out and is disassembling our deck. And he looks like he weighs about 110 pounds. And he's on top of it. And he cuts off all the rails first. And then he's carrying these giant. Giant chunks of deck.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Out from the backyard into the dumpster in the. In the driveway.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm like, how are you doing that? It was funny because he's disassembling this thing and toward the, Like an hour or two into it.

>> Mike: He's small, but he's strong.

>> Darin: Exactly. I look out, the whole deck is gone except for two boards. And he's standing on those two boards still. And I was waiting for one of those Wile E. Coyote moments where you don't realize that you cut the wrong thing and then you. He plummets to the earth. Amazing. So the demolition of it was done by one guy, and now we're in the building process. He said so normally. And this is going to be so boring, but whatever. The posts are supposed to be dug 30 inches into the ground. Our old deck was 16 inches in the ground. It wasn't hooked to concrete. It was barely hanging on because when he tore it off the wall, it came off the wall. No problem. How we didn't die on this deck.

>> Mike: Ah. Oh, my gosh.

>> Darin: Is a miracle.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Is an absolute miracle. But. So he's now drilling and hooking up all this stuff, remounting the new deck to the house. And. And I work from home, and the whole house.


We're pulling the plug on this one. Give us another chance. This is your first time listening to us

The whole m. House is shaking. So it was like, I don't know, he'd been doing it all day. Finally, like about 4:55, I opened the door. I said, would you stop for the.

>> Mike: Love of God and your own body.

>> Darin: Hold the damn hammering, please? He thought that was. So, anyway, when we get the new deck, I'll take pictures and send it to. Because I know you guys are fascinated.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And Conan, you can. You're welcome to come and see our new deck.

>> Mike: If Conan's still listening to this episode, can someone check on him, make sure he's still breathing? He may have, because we did have a fan in France for about a year.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And we came up with a theory that it was. Somebody had, subscribed and then fallen off the. Died, I don't know, Eiffel Tower or something, and just died.

>> Darin: The Statue of Liberty.

>> Mike: Yeah. Old. Old fan.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Ah. From years ago. Yeah, we should.

>> Darin: We're. Yeah, we're gonna. We're pulling the plug on this one. It's not gonna get any better.

>> Mike: This is your first time listening to us.

>> Darin: Give us another chance.

>> Mike: A whole lot other really good episodes.

>> Darin: there are hundreds of other episodes. Episodes that you can listen to that are better than this.

>> Mike: Can we have an off night once? Are we allowed to have that? Have we earned that yet?

>> Darin: I. I hope so. Can we have enough people find it in their heart?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Hey, listen, if you listen to this one and you not crazy about it. Nobody listened to the last one. The last one was really good.

>> Mike: Yeah, last one's really good.

>> Darin: Last one was really good. My son Jacob, and his band, Dream Flood. I, almost said Love Crunch. That's the name of my band.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Jacob's band, Dream Flood, did a song at the end of last week's episode. You got to go back and listen to that one, and you'll love it. Last week's episode was great. And the week before that episode was really good. So listen to those before you write us off completely.

>> Mike: We got some stuff happening to us between now and the next time we record. We're going to see Devo twice.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah. I cannot wait to go see Devo.

>> Mike: And so the next episode is going to have some mad drip, yo. Would you agree?

>> Darin: That's the third time? That's the third time I almost spit out coffee. Yes. Mad drip, yo.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Will be in next week's episode. So we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Mike: We probably won't. Have a good night.

>> Darin: See ya.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: I'm going to take a drink of one of my. Should I have some coffee? Should I have some, like, a bar? Oh, Lord, the smoothie makes me thirsty. Really thirsty.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then the coffee, that also makes me thirsty. And, then the water. I'm no longer thirsty after I drink the water.

>> Mike: That's good. On the podcast. That's good. Studies show that a river. If you take a picture of a river at night.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: It. A good river looks just like a bad river, and a bad river looks just like a good river at night. What? X doesn't care what you post?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: You could post a picture of a.

>> Darin: And sometimes X posts those pictures.

>> Mike: Yeah.


You being off made me be off, Coolio says

>> Darin: Get down, mama.

>> Mike: Get down.

>> Darin: You gotta get up to get down. That's Coolio's law of gravity. So we finally decided we're getting rid of.

>> Mike: I'll be here all night. It's funny watching them get so worked up about what you and I would look at and be like, okay, so you got a chicken tender. Wasn't cooked. 100. Perfect.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: They go in yelling and freaking out.

>> Darin: Yeah, we talked about it two weeks ago.

>> Mike: Did we really?

>> Darin: Yes, we did. And you're like, it's gonna be hard for them to be young 40 years later.

>> Mike: I really need to leave. Listen to this show.

>> Darin: Yeah, you do. You never listen to your own show. God. Oh, somebody shoot that. Take it behind the barn and shoot it in the head. What was wrong with us?

>> Mike: Oh, I'm. I'm. I told you, I'm already. I'm off. I'm off.

>> Darin: But usually when you say you're off, then that equates to you being on. But you being off made me be off. And I had three drinks that have helped this. I don't know. go to bed.


Do it. Do it. Because. Not today. All right, see you guys next week

>> Mike: All right, see you guys.

>> Dave: Coming up on the next episode of Irritable dad syndrome.

>> Mike: Not today.

>> Darin: Do it.

>> Mike: Do it. Because.