IDS #265 - Give Me Back My Pool Noodle!

Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Speaker A: He was shooting a wedding for one of his friends. It did not go well. Oh, it did not go well.

>> Darin: You know, the good thing about shooting a wedding is all you gotta do is just, you know, back everything up and do it again. Guys, I'm gonna have the bride walk down the aisle one, more time. If everybody just hold, act like you haven't seen her and then applaud.

>> Mike: Yeah. And sir, would you stand up over there?

>> Speaker A: Can you move over there, please?

>> Darin: Exactly. And then, mom, I need you to cry again, please, and give it some real spirit. Let's really act like we care, folks. Let's not half ass it this time. And action.

>> Mike: I'm worried about the beer supply after this case and the other case. There's only one case left.

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, the podcast that floats. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 265. I'm in a great mood. Mike's in a great mood. We're hoping that you're in a great mood because this is gonna be a fun episode.

>> Mike: Comedic segue. Yeah, laugh. We have joyful banter.

>> Darin: We have a brand new segment that we're unveiling tonight. Basically, I tell a story and we brought in a special guest, longtime fan of the show, Mr. Jim Timmerman. And, ah, we asked the question, am I right or am I just being an irritable dad? And you're going to want to hang around for that.

>> Mike: Jim listens to us while he engages in lawn care.

>> Darin: Yes, he does.

>> Mike: He mows his lawn.

>> Darin: He used to watch our episode at one and a half speed. And then he stopped doing that because he realized that he wanted to get the full enjoyment. He enjoys the show so much, he wants to listen to it. Absolutely. As long as humanly possible. And that's a lie.


Last week I accused Devo of giving me pink eye

Speaking of lie, last week I accused Devo of giving me pink eye.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I need to apologize to Mark Mothersbaugh. The rest of the gentlemen in Devo.

>> Mike: Bill.

>> Darin: Bill. Devo. And Bob.

>> Mike: Jerry.

>> Darin: Jerry. Devo. They did not give me pink eye. I had what's referred to as blepharitis.

>> Mike: Blepharitis.

>> Darin: Blepharitis. That's where you have inflammation of your eyelid. I went to my doctor, she said, darren, you have blepharitis. And I said, so Devo did not give me pink eye? She said, no, I don't believe Devo gave you pink eye. So My apologies to Devo for that accusation. I got some steroids and I got some antibiotics, and I'm feeling a lot better.

>> Mike: Blepharitis.

>> Darin: Yeah. I also need to apologize to. To the fine folks who do goat yoga. Mike was talking about goat yoga last week. By the way, last week's episode was amazing. If you haven't listened to last week's episode, you need to go back and listen to episode 264. Here's the thing. This is why I'm apologizing. We kept talking about goat yoga, and then our editor kept playing sound effects, Right. And these sound effects, it turns out, weren't of goats. They were of sheep. Yeah, that's wrong.

>> Mike: Hey, sheep, we appreciate you hey, sheep.

>> Speaker A: And we celebrate you hey, sheep, Keep, keep on doing what you do and we'll keep on shearing you.

>> Darin: Hey, sheep, Keep, keep on being sheep.

>> Mike: Keep on being sheep Keep, keep on and I'll keep on saying sheep, Sheep.

>> Darin: Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep.

>> Mike: I'll keep on saying sheep, sheep. I looked up blepharitis.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And it is an inflammation.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: due to bacteria and seeing 80s bands.

>> Darin: So you're saying that Devo were responsible?

>> Mike: Well, not really, because they started in the 70s, so I don't think you can blame them. Yeah, but there were a lot of people that look like they may cause blepharitis at the show.

>> Darin: That's true.

>> Mike: I'm not. I'm not judging anyone.

>> Darin: I hear. You know what?

>> Mike: Just from, medically speaking, at the.

>> Darin: Concert in Cincinnati, you guys decided to move down to the floor while my friend Chris Newman and I sat up in the seats. There was a guy, he shows up at a Devo concert. Okay? Imagine. What do you think someone at a Devo concert is going to be wearing? Probably the red hat, right? Maybe a black concert T shirt. I don't know. There were some punk rock.

>> Mike: Punk rock looking people there. there's this a guy in Hawaiian shirt that looked like an extra from True Lies.

>> Darin: Yeah. There's a person at the concert, Cincinnati. He was wearing a three piece suit with the tie all the way up and a cowboy hat.

>> Speaker A: My question is, what the hell?

>> Mike: Boss Hoggin it.

>> Darin: Oh, if his. If only his suit was solid white.

>> Mike: Did you know that Boss Hogg was a war hero?

>> Darin: Yeah, Sorrel book. Yes, the, And he spoke like he was a Shakespearean trained actor. And he spoke, I think, four or five languages. Yeah.

>> Mike: And did you know that Ennis was not.

>> Darin: Enos.


Mike and Laura talk about when this podcast is going to take off

>> Mike: Enos.

>> Darin: Ennis. And by the way, rest in Peace to the actor who played Cletus. He just passed away the other day.

>> Mike: This is terrible.

>> Darin: This is going nowhere.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Well, no, there was a guy in a cowboy hat. Devo Show. And that didn't make any sense to me. You know, Mike and I, we go out and about, and we're always wondering, we, when is this podcast going to take off? When are people going to say, hey, are you with Irritable Dancing? Or, you look like Mike Odle. You look like Darren Cox. Hasn't happened yet. While we were waiting to get into the Devo show, this guy comes over to us and he wanted to have his picture taken with us. M. Because Bess and Laura were wearing Devo hats. Are we not men? We are Devo, are we not Mandy Evo. Hey, this is complete stranger wanted his picture taken with us. for that reason. Let's get to the new segment.


Jim Timmerman joins us to talk about Irritable Dad Syndrome

Welcome back, everybody. I'm very excited because we're going to do a new segment here on Irritable Dad Syndrome called Am I right or Am I being an Irritable Dad? And joining us is our very special guest, Mr. Jim Timmerman. Jim is a friend of mine. I used to work for him. He helped me out greatly in this business of television that I work in. he's a friend. We've known each other for going on 25 years now, and he's also a fan of the podcast. So, Jim, welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. I'm happy that you're with us tonight.

>> Speaker A: Thank you very much. I'm very excited about being here.

>> Darin: All good. How are you? I'm good.

>> Speaker A: I had a pretty good day today. I've got a glass of wine. I'm watching the show. I'm part of the show.

>> Darin: You're part of the show? Yeah.

>> Speaker A: This is so cool. I'm taking things off my Christmas list right now.

>> Darin: Well, what's wild is Jim, for the longest time, Mike, whenever I would talk to Jim, I would say, have you checked out the podcast? no, Darren, I haven't done that yet. And he was kind of looking down his nose at us, and, he would used to. I think the word scoff. He would scoff because I had one of the. One of the podcasts, everybody, and.

>> Mike: The brother has a podcast.

>> Darin: Yeah. But then he finally checked it out, and he calls me up one day and he hates to do that, and he says, Darren, I want to apologize. Your podcast is the greatest thing I've ever heard. And then he would listen to it. He Used to listen to it at one and a half the speed so that he could get through it, but now. Jim, didn't you say you stopped doing that? You listened to it?

>> Speaker A: It was one and a quarter. And I would, I would listen to it because.

>> Darin: Because that's.

>> Speaker A: It was at the right length. and if I did one and a quarter, then I could listen to the show and cut the yard.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Speaker A: Takes 46 minutes to do that. So they would. I'd be done.

>> Mike: there you go.

>> Speaker A: When the show is done.

>> Darin: Yeah, Right.

>> Speaker A: But now it's, it's. I do it at regular speed.

>> Mike: Yeah. So you get the full effect of the THX surround sound.

>> Darin: Yes, that's right.

>> Mike: That we put into every episode.

>> Darin: That's right. And didn't you say that our podcast is perfect for mowing the lawn?

>> Speaker A: It is. Oh my God. Because, I mean, you're out there and you're just walking around, so why not laugh and walk around at the same time? Which I do.


A kid borrows your pool noodle at a YMCA pool

>> Darin: Okay, well, all right, so here's the deal. something happened to me over the weekend and my wife was with me and she felt that she wasn't sure if I dealt with this situation in the correct way. So I'm going to run through. I'm going to give you what the kids call the skinny. Okay. My wife and I, we were at the YMCA pool and, we brought some pool noodles with us, and we were actually at the pool by ourselves.

>> Mike: You brought your own pool noodles?

>> Darin: We brought our own pool noodles, yes. We always bring our own pool noodles. And I'm out there with my noodles and I'm getting ready to come out of the pool and this kid asks me, are those your noodles? And I said, yes, they are.

>> Mike: But you're just. It's a factual statement. Those are your new.

>> Darin: These are my pool noodles. Right. And. And so I set them on the side of the pool while I, swam a lap. And then I'm getting ready to get out of the pool and the same kid said, hey, excuse me, sir, can I borrow a noodle? M. Now, I didn't want to loan this kid my noodle because this kid probably has cooties, okay? But I reluctantly said, sure. And I loaned him the small noodle, not one of the big fat ones.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I loaned him a noodle. Then I get out of the pool and I go over and I'm sitting in a lawn, chair and I'm talking to Libby. Next thing you know, these storms roll in and one of the Lifeguards says, okay, everybody, they blow the whistle, everybody get out of the pool. We're closing up the pool. We're closing for the night. So I'm starting to get my things together. I notice this kid walking away with my pool noodle, okay? Because at the YMCA here in Westchester, he starts walking up this ramp that goes inside the building, okay? So I stand up and I said, hey, I don't know the kid. I was like, kid?

>> Darin: Hey, pool noodle. I yelled.

>> Mike: You yelled, pool noodle.

>> Darin: I yelled, hey, pool noodle.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And the kid keeps walking.

>> Mike: I don't think that was his preferred pronoun. You've already got a problem.

>> Darin: So Libby says, honey, it's like a dollar for the pool doodle. I said, no, no, no, I'm getting my pool doodle back. So she says, I chased him down, but I, I didn't run after him. But I did walk after him. He walked into the building, I followed him into the building. And then I said, kid. And he turns around and I looked at him and he go, oh, you're noodle. I said, yeah. And I take it back. And then I walked away. Libby was thinking that maybe we should have just let the kid keep the pool doodle. But I'm thinking, listen, I loaned it to him. He's a kid. He should learn the value of, you know, somebody loans you something, you return it. So the question is, was I right or was I being an irritable dad?


Jim: Mike, I have all kinds of problems with this story

>> Mike: You want me to weigh in first?

>> Darin: Sure.

>> Mike: I have all kinds of problems with this story.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: One is the monetary value of the item that this kid.

>> Darin: This brute, this punk, this highwayman, this snot nosed.

>> Mike: Stole.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And that's the word he was stealing. It's theft. It is theft removed from your possession with malice. The value, the monetary value is inconsequential. I ask you, Darren, a glass of water. Is it important to you now? Is it more important to you when you're dying of thirst in the desert and, and it's the only glass of water?

>> Darin: Oh my God, Mike, you're brilliant.

>> Mike: It's the same item, so the monetary value of the item doesn't matter. This kid, willfully and wantonly, he tried.

>> Darin: To take one over on me.

>> Mike: I mean, what's next? He's gonna steal your car, start living in your house, right? Where does it end?

>> Darin: Where does it end?

>> Mike: I mean, I'm a charitable soul.

>> Mike: sometimes. And what? It's, you know, it's not the noodle. M. It's how you use the.

>> Darin: No, it's not the length of the noodle.

>> Mike: I think I've gone too far.

>> Darin: Okay, so you're thinking I was right chasing the kid down.

>> Mike: I think you were right, okay, when you said you chased him down. Hey, kid. Kid. You know what I was thinking? Harrison Ford chasing down Short Round.

>> Darin: Oh, that's right, because that's.

>> Mike: Isn't that what he called, hey, kid, get over here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Kid, did you wag your finger?

>> Darin: Yeah, I think I did.

>> Mike: I think as long as you stay within the Harrison Ford boundaries, you're good.

>> Darin: Okay, so you say I was good.

>> Mike: You could have ended the conversation with, I'll see you in hell.

>> Darin: That's right, Jim. What do you think?

>> Speaker A: I am going to go with Mike on this?

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Speaker A: I think you have done this kid, tremendous favor of. You know, noodle theft is a gateway to a life of crime.

>> Darin: I think so, too.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: I can't imagine. Because he. When he was walking up those steps. Oh, he heard you.

>> Darin: Oh, I know he did everything.

>> Speaker A: There's no question. And he figured that old guy won't think about it. It's a dollar 99. And they're not $1.99.

>> Darin: Right. They're more than that. Well, I mean, you can buy them, like, at the Dollar Store.

>> Mike: Well, they're in the Dollar Store, but that's a scam, because you go in there now and, stuff is more than a dollar.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: They're easily 290. They're easily 299. Yeah, he heard you clearly when he was walking up the steps. and in his little pea brain, he was thinking, keep walking. Keep walking. Once I get inside, that old guy ain't gonna follow me.

>> Darin: Fat cast ain't gonna follow me. Oh, but I followed him.

>> Mike: Yeah, you did.

>> Darin: I did.

>> Speaker A: And you. And you approached him, and you say.

>> Darin: Hey, hey, kid, it's my noodle. It's my noodle.

>> Speaker A: And you took him to task, and he's thinking, okay. And like I said, you have saved this kid from a life of crime. I mean, he was thinking he'd get.

>> Mike: Away with it as Skinny Pete Church. Yo.

>> Darin: That's right.


Mike: Dylan tried to steal your pool noodle. You bought it? Yes. You were done using it for a while

I took him. I took him to church.

>> Mike: You did?

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Speaker A: So I think Mike and I are right on, with this. I know in the future we'll disagree on a lot of things.

>> Darin: So I. I was not being an irritable dad. Okay, good.

>> Mike: No, you were.

>> Darin: Or maybe I was right and I was an irritable dad because it did Kind of rub me the wrong way. I loaned it to him out of the kindness of my stupid heart. And then he tries to walk away with it. I don't think so. I'm not as dumb as I look.

>> Mike: That would be.

>> Darin: I think.

>> Speaker A: I think you did the right thing. Obviously the kid wanted to play with it. You were done using it for a while. That was a great thing. And hopefully as he gets older, like you said, maybe he'll start to pay.

>> Darin: It forward, learn some pool noodle etiquette. Yeah.

>> Speaker A: And just understand, you know, our society is built on rules. Mike, am I wrong? It is built on rules.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: And at the center of those rules, you have to begin with yourself and your personal property. What you own and what you have agency over.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: That was your pool noodle.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You bought it?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: You worked.

>> Darin: I work hard for my money. We work for our money in this house and we don't give money away. The one question I have, okay, about.

>> Speaker A: The whole situation is, and I don't know how this plays into it.

>> Darin: yes, I was shirtless. Hello.

>> Speaker A: Okay, the second, the second question I.

>> Darin: Have, okay.

>> Mike: I'm sorry, I'd like to.

>> Darin: Amend where I was, where I. I made myself giggle. I was proud of that. Okay.

>> Speaker A: Where were this kid's parents exactly?

>> Mike: Probably in the county lockup.

>> Darin: Exactly. Probably doing the drugs.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: After you took property of your property once again.

>> Speaker A: Did you happen to notice where this kid continued to walk to? Did he walk towards adults or did he just go out the door? Did he, what did he do?

>> Mike: Did you stalk this child?

>> Darin: I did not know. Once he went inside. Once I obtained my pool noodle and I left. I believe he. There was a girl with him of similar age. It may have been his sister, but I don't know if the. If like she went and said. You're not going to believe what Dylan did. He tried to steal this old fat guy's noodle. And then they're like you did what?

>> Mike: Did you ask the YMCA for their surveillance tapes?

>> Darin: no, but I bet you they still have it.

>> Mike: They may still have them. I bet those are permissible in court. Their time and date stamp. And they'll show this little bastard absconding with your noodle.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Speaker A: And the videos may show that this student, this kid's guardian.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Speaker A: Is nowhere around.


Now, as many of us know at the YMCA you need parental guidance

Now, as many of us know at the YMCA you need parental guidance.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: At all times if you're under the age of 14.

>> Darin: It's true.

>> Speaker A: Is this kid under 14 in your estimation?

>> Darin: I bet you he is.

>> Speaker A: Next time you go, if you see this kid, just walk up to him said, hey, look at your parents right now.

>> Darin: Yeah. Then I think I might want to ask him another question. What the hell is your problem?

>> Mike: Yeah. citizens arrest.

>> Darin: What makes you think you're so damn special?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Another question I can ask him.

>> Mike: Yeah. May I recommend that you say that loudly?

>> Darin: Can you imagine if his parents walked up and I'm like, hey, I want my $2. They pull me out kicking, I'll see you in hell.

>> Speaker A: And when you walk up to those parents or that kid again, do me a favor. Take Libby with you.

>> Darin: Just the comb in the eye of the.

>> Speaker A: Just so that it's not some old guy stalking this kid, trying to give him candy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it's situations like this, I like to think, what would Joe Pesci do? And I mean specifically the Joe Pesci from Casino. Would he just let that go?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: If he were laying by the pool and some kid took his pool noodle.

>> Darin: Kid would wake up tomorrow in a.

>> Mike: Trunk out in the middle, see the scene in your head. You could see it with those big sunglasses.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: Hey, just see what this happened. Kid just wanted to. And he'd come over and that would be it.

>> Darin: That would be it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Speaker A: I think you did the right thing.

>> Darin: Thank you very much.

>> Mike: and if he listens to the show, I hope that he would listen to the. This is your warning and share it.

>> Darin: Dylan is the kid's name I've chosen to give him. so. All right, Jim, thank you. We'll talk to you later.

>> Mike: Thank you, Jim.

>> Speaker A: Thank you. See ya.


Dave Lay loves Lotus Biscoff Cookies when traveling

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable Dead Syndrome is brought to you by Lotus Biscoff Cookies. Hi, I'm Dave Lay and I love traveling. It seems like every couple of months I get the urge to visit people and places anywhere on this great planet. And that's why I'm a big fan of Lotus Biscoff Cookies. Whenever I'm flying and the stewardess asks if I want a snack, I say, hell yeah, I want a snack. And make that snack a pack of Lotus Biscoff cookies. Since 1932, Lotus Biscoff cookies have been made with all natural ingredients. They're crunchy, and that caramelized flavor has made them the preferred choice of every major airline that serves snacks. Lotus Biscoff Cookies.

>> Mike: Mmm.

>> Dave: Now those are some good cookies. Back to you guys in the studio.


Warning: The following segment contains language that may sound inappropriate or offensive

>> Darin: Warning.

>> Dave: The following segment contains language that may sound inappropriate or offensive. Viewer discretion is advised.

>> Mike: Helicopter pilots Hobos in a ditch. I'm looking at old.

>> Darin: Hey, what happened?

>> Mike: Look at it. What the hell did you just say? I'm looking at old lines that I came up with. I was trying to work into the show. That's, that's one of them.

>> Darin: What the hell is that?

>> Mike: Oh, my God. If I die of a heart attack, that's just out there, that lives when Bess is going through my things. That's a sentence on a document that I have. Helicopter pilots, hobos in a ditch. I think you were against me saying that in the show at the time. You thought it thought it might offend helicopter pilots. I thought it might offend hobos.

>> Darin: They're not hobos anymore.

>> Mike: Can that be a tidal? Helicopter pilots, hobos in a ditch.

>> Darin: What else do you have written?

>> Mike: Nothing that good. That's why I said that when that one stuck, that one just jumped out at me.

>> Darin: It's like the worst ad libs ever.

>> Mike: The look on your face, though, it's pure shock.

>> Darin: Why helicopter pilots? I don't know.

>> Mike: It made sense.

>> Darin: What's the helicopter pilot got to do with anything?


What are your thoughts on tipping at a restaurant

What are your thoughts on tipping?

>> Mike: I, I. You got a tip at a restaurant?

>> Darin: Always?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: You're saying you always have to tip no matter what?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Okay, I'm gonna ask you a question. Libby and I went to a place called the Shake Shack.

>> Mike: Yes, we heard that.

>> Darin: This is great. They have great burgers. We were told they have great milkshakes. You got to try it out. So Libby and I were on a date. We were by ourselves for the day. We got a feeling of what it would be like to be empty nesters. We went on a lunch date, we went to the pool by ourselves, and we went to dinner, and we had a blast. So anyway, we're at the Shake Shack and you have to order your food at the kiosk. Okay.

>> Mike: Like, okay, yeah.

>> Darin: So you order whatever you're getting at the kiosk. Now granted, somebody brings it to you.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But you order it at the kiosk.

>> Darin: And this is where I have a problem with tipping.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Why am I tipping? When somebody isn't coming and taking my order, all someone is doing is bringing it to you. I have a problem with tipping with that. Now, we did tip when we ordered our meals. We ordered our burgers, and the burgers were okay. They're not worth the money that they charge at the Shake Shack. And the Shake Shack can sue me if they don't like this type of advertising. But still, after we ordered our Burgers. We decided we were going to go get a milkshake. I went up to the front. The guy now at the thing is taking my order like you would at McDonald's or whatever. And it comes up, and then the thing pops up. Do you Want to tip 10%, 15%, 20%, or no tip? And I'm trying to push the thing that says no tip, because why am I tipping the guy when I'm ordering a milkshake? When I'm walking up there, I'm ordering a milkshake, and then when it was ready, I walked up there and I got it and carried it back to the table. Why would I tip when the guy does absolutely nothing?

>> Mike: Well, he gives you the milkshake, right?

>> Darin: No, no, no. They said number 94.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then they sat there, and I walked up and got it.

>> Mike: Oh, no, I wouldn't tip. No.

>> Darin: So why? well, here's the thing, though. Because I'm sitting there and I'm futzing around, and I'm trying to push the button that says no tip. And I'm pushing. I'm pushing. And he says, you're pushing the wrong thing. And he reaches over and kind of. He was not happy with me because I wasn't tipping him. He was not happy because he. I wasn't tipping him for not doing anything. When I went to see the Offspring in concert, and, I got my T shirt at the concert, the guy reaches back, gets the shirt, and hands it to me, and then I put my credit card in the thing, and it asks if you want to tip.

>> Mike: I don't tip. That. I don't.

>> Darin: Why would I tip somebody for reaching back, handing me a shirt? That's ridiculous.

>> Mike: Yeah. No, you don't tip in those situations. You don't. You don't. You don't. You know, not at all. where I get screwed up is you're supposed to, like, in hotels. I am watching everything that. Now, if you're going to big, Daddy's Barn and Grill. And Grill.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: They're not going to have somebody that, like, takes your luggage or whatever or tries to take your life.

>> Darin: Right? Right.

>> Mike: Big Daddy is just sitting behind the DEs could give a.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: But at a high falutin place, a.

>> Darin: Fancy place, we're talking like, a Motel 6.

>> Mike: Like the Quaker Oats Inn that Bess and I went to in Akron. That were. All the rooms were shaped like Quaker Oats.

>> Darin: What? Yeah, like the oatmeal boxes.

>> Mike: Yeah, the oatmeal. The cylinders. Cylinders. Yeah.

>> Darin: The rooms Were in a room that.


We didn't have suitcases because we were going to a concert

Every room looked like an oatmeal box.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Did it cylinder?

>> Mike: No, no, no, no, no. Not when we got there. but we. We didn't have suitcases.

>> Darin: I don't know why. That's right.

>> Mike: We didn't have any suitcases.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: So we. We didn't want to buy a suitcase because we were just going to a concert. So we brought a laundry basket with our clean clothes in it. And this was a place that. Where a guy comes out to take your. To your room, and we're walking in with a laundry basket full of clean, clothes. Mine the one side, and hers were on the other. I mean, we're not animals.

>> Darin: No, no.

>> Mike: and they had uniforms, so, you know, it's a fancy place. And he brought one of those rolly things, you know, with the brass things, and we were supposed to put it down. And I'm like, no, I. I got it. I got. I don't know that he did this, but in my. In my mind he said, indeed, and then walked away. But I don't. I don't think he actually did that. We were somewhat embarrassed, but it was cool when we opened up the door because it was a thought. It was all one room and it was round. it's not there anymore. I looked it up because we were going to go back. it was in Akron. it was connected to this little outlet mall place. one, it had the Fancy Spice. This is back in the. In the early 2000s.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Back when it was still kind of funny if you had hot sauce that said, I'm a kick your ass now. They all say stuff like the devil's.

>> Darin: Taint or whatever, you know, but back 200 things of hot sauce there.

>> Mike: Yeah. Back then you had, you know, Jack's Hot Sauce. You had, Tostitos. And then you had, I'm gonna kick your ass hot sauce. But this place was like hundreds of hot sauce bottles. And so we. I got some ass kicking. I'm m gonna m. Beat your ass nuts or whatever it was. And I thought that was awesome. And then we went back and we put our nuts and Satan's armpit. Put those back in the hotel room. And then we went to the concert. Was an Oasis concert.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And another piece is we were seeing them in a theater. A theater theater. And like a theater where it's, tre at the end instead of. So we're going to see Oasis.

>> Darin: Oasis.

>> Mike: A band famous for a couple of things. One, having beer thrown at their Concerts. And they hate each other and hating each other and getting into fights and just. It's. It's not what you would expect to see in a theater. I can't. Theater.

>> Darin: Theater.

>> Mike: Yeah. so it's all carpeted, and they had bartenders, m. And, like, these little mobile bars, and they had, like, the tuxedo with a little bow tie. And they're doing shaken drinks and all.

>> Darin: This stuff, and we just wanted cocktail in it.

>> Mike: We just wanted a beer. And we didn't see those people at first. And typically, when I go to a concert, I'm looking for the long line of people, disheveled people, trying to get a drink.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I'm not looking for little packets of people around a mobile bar.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So I didn't know where to get a beer. I see, this woman walk by with a beer. She was in, like, a dress, like, an evening gown with, like, necklace and all this stuff. And I said, excuse me, where did you get that? And she looked at me like I was a slug. Ah.

>> Darin: yes.

>> Mike: And she just, like, did this with her. This is an audio podcast is gonna be great. She pointed over her shoulder. Yeah. Nonchalantly. Oh, I hate when they do it with disdain.

>> Darin: I never see somebody do something shalatly.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Nonchalant.

>> Mike: Always nonchalantly.


We went into theater, and for a long time, we thought we were wrong

It always makes you think, it's a conspiracy brought up by Big Shalott. Anyway, she did that. We went over to the bartender, and it felt kind of weird asking him for a beer. He looked like he was about to give James Bond something shaken, not stirred. Anyway, we took that, and for a long time, we thought we were in the wrong place. There's all these people, well dressed.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: They're getting, like, drinks with, like, little umbrellas in them with their pinkies out. we go into theater, and it is plush carpeting, and we're in the balcony, and it's like a balcony. Balcony. And I remember I asked, like, one of the people near us, I said, this is for Oasis, right? This is the band Oasis, huh? And he looked at me with disd.

>> Darin: And said, sir, have you never been outside?

>> Mike: And said, yeah, it's. It's Oasis, dude. Okay. All right.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then, sure enough, Noel Gallagher came out, and that was one half of Oasis.

>> Darin: And then you're like. And then.

>> Mike: And then Liam came out, and no. No one who fought. It was. It was great.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then we went back to the Quaker Oats Hotel.

>> Darin: Okay. We'd like to thank you for listening.

>> Mike: In our defense, we literally just recorded an episode we just did a few days ago. Right, folks? Okay, here's the deal.

>> Darin: Look, sorry.

>> Mike: we're going to talk to the people. Let Uncle Mike's going to talk to the people. Listen. We're going on different trips now. We don't go the same places usually did before the same time, but it has happened in the past. But generally speaking, we made a promise early on in this endeavor that we're always going to have something every week. And damn it, it's been five years, and we haven't broken that promise yet.

>> Darin: We haven't. Even if we do a repeat.

>> Mike: But what that means is that even.

>> Darin: If we drop a repeat, I always put special never, before heard stuff in there.

>> Mike: What that means is that whenever something's coming up where we are going on vacation or we're going to be away for a while, we double up. We go through the workload. Darren has been editing like a beast. We have been recording more often than we normally do. Oh. Mikey's been making videos like a biatch. so we've been layering up content for y' all to listen to.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And not all of it's going to be pretty, but every once in a while, something flies out of it. You know? It's true. It's like, we're mining, okay. And when you're mining for gold, you gotta beat through a bunch of rock. A bunch of rock.

>> Darin: This is like. Some people like, hey, do you guys ever run out of things? Talk about. And I'm like, no, we don't. Tonight we have.

>> Mike: Tonight we did. Yeah.

>> Darin: We ain't got to talk about Jacks. What? Thank God Jim Timmerman was on the show.

>> Mike: But, yeah, here's the deal. Is that when I get back. And then you're going on vacation, you get back, those next shows are going to be jam banger.

>> Darin: Holy crap. Oh, and I want to mention that we've been invited back on Alison Lips.


Max: I've watched the Pee Wee Herman documentary. I still haven't watched the Bono documentary

Greetings from the idiot box.

>> Mike: We'll do the Lips.

>> Darin: Yeah, we're gonna do that. Doesn't sound good the way you say that. We're gonna do her podcast. We're gonna talk to her about the Pee Wee Herman documentary. Did you see the people?

>> Mike: I. I didn't even know there was a Pee Wee Herman documentary.

>> Darin: What, have you been under a rock?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Do you have the hbo, Max?

>> Mike: I do, yeah.

>> Darin: You've got to watch the.

>> Mike: I still haven't watched. I still haven't watched the Bono documentary.

>> Darin: Oh, I haven't watched the Bono documentary.

>> Mike: I've watched it. Ten minutes.

>> Darin: The Pee Wee Herman documentary. Two parter. It's great. It really is something else. And I thought I was a huge Pee Wee Herman fan. I mean, I am a big Pee Wee Herman fan, but there was a lot of things about him I did not know. Yeah. One of them, I didn't know he smoked cigarettes.

>> Mike: I did know that. I knew that.

>> Darin: I was like, how did he get his, He didn't have a. Ever have a smoker's cough.

>> Mike: Yeah. Maybe that's what that was.

>> Darin: Maybe. Yeah, maybe not. So. But that's something to look forward to.

>> Mike: You know what this is?

>> Darin: What's this, Mike?

>> Mike: I'll make you feel better about it. You work. You have a job.

>> Darin: I do.

>> Mike: That brings money home.

>> Darin: It does.

>> Mike: But you're trying to get things ready so that you can leave for vacation for a while. You pack it all in. You go, you go, you go, you go. Does last hour or two, you're just like, I'm just. I can't. I m. Can't do anymore. I'm spent, you know? And then you go. You home, go to bed, and then wake up. Next day, you're on. On vacation. When you come back, you're. Well, you have that day of darkness when the next day is, I have to come back to work. But after that, you're hitting it hard. You're just, like, slamming it, M. You're commercialing, this and commercialing doing that all left and right. So we are.

>> Darin: It's not getting any better. We're gonna go. We'll see you next week on Irable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.


Mikey: The universe is working against this episode. It really does not want to. The middle of this episode is really good

>> Darin: Do you have anything to talk about?

>> Mike: I got all kinds of. Okay, I'm in a pissy mood today. This is gonna be. This is gonna be one for the books, bruh.

>> Darin: You said you'd have stuff.

>> Mike: I was just kidding.

>> Darin: I don't have anything, Mike. Then, don't tell me you have stuff if you don't have anything.

>> Mike: All right. Okay.

>> Darin: You see, you get me all excited, and then you just walk away.

>> Mike: Let me see.

>> Darin: Like, my honeymoon.

>> Mike: I had some things earlier today. I just didn't write them down.

>> Darin: Told me you had things.

>> Mike: I thought I had things.

>> Darin: You told me you did. You said, oh, I got lots of stuff.

>> Mike: I, I lied. This is what Mikey sounds like. Get it. Get it, get it, get it. What up, Bioch?

>> Darin: What are you. Stop that. Just.

>> Mike: I'm doing this.

>> Darin: Get it, get it, get it. What up? Biatch. You have never watching, ever checked your microphone like that?

>> Mike: Yes, I have.

>> Darin: Okay. Okay.

>> Speaker A: I am feeling right now how George Martin felt the first time he met the Beatles.

>> Mike: The universe is working against this episode. It really does not want to.

>> Darin: Thank God.

>> Mike: The middle of this episode is really good. Petering out like a flaccid diesel engine.

>> Darin: Hey.

>> Mike: I don't know what that sound was.

>> Darin: I hope to God we can do another podcast. I really do. This is one of those, like, I can't wait till next week because I.

>> Mike: Don'T want to end on this one. No, we're not gonna end on this one. Knocking it. We're not allowed to end on this. This is the one. If we tried to end on it, I would expect one of our fans to kidnap us and force us to make another episode like. Like Misery. I remember before we did a podcast, I remember thinking, that's easy. That's the easiest thing in the world. Yeah, it's not.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: This is not easy, people. Walk with me down this lane.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: It's like a Bjork concert. Okay. This podcast is like a Bjork concert.

>> Darin: Okay.


Sometimes the music matches having a lady dressed as a swan

>> Mike: Okay, you've got.

>> Darin: Which one of us is wearing the,

>> Mike: No, don't think of it that way. Okay, you got the music, and then you've got the lady dressed like a penguin.

>> Darin: Swan.

>> Mike: Swan.

>> Darin: Swan.

>> Mike: Okay. Sometimes the music matches having a lady dressed as a swan.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Sometimes it's a lady dressed as a swan and just a bunch of noise. Other times, it's beautiful music and. What the hell is she wearing?

>> Darin: What does that have to do with this?

>> Mike: I don't know, but it's out there now. It's out there now. Kids, if,

>> Darin: Stay off the drive.

>> Mike: If I've been dead for years and you're watching this tape. I'm sorry. Yes. This is what dad did in the basement.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Do you hear a weird sound?

>> Darin: Just me talking.

>> Mike: You hear a weird sound? Am I turning into Chuck from Better Call Saul? Boy, that would suck, wouldn't it? We have to throw away all their.

>> Darin: You allergic to electricity, Mike?

>> Mike: It's like a whirring.

>> Darin: It's like a what?

>> Mike: A whirring. Like, it's this thing that's not on. Boy, that killed the momentum, didn't it?

>> Darin: Have a great day and stay cool.