IDS #266 - A Ghost Farted In My House - Bloopers and Bonus Clips

This is episode 264 of Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Mike: Foreign.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 264. We are so happy that you are with us. We're gonna, I'm telling you right now, this episode is gonna be way better than last week's. That's not saying much.

>> Mike: We are, ah, we are stupid excited. Excited that you're. That you are here with us.

>> Darin: we are.

>> Mike: We have tons of stuff to talk. Oh, yeah, we, Darren D. Ro and I saw the devos twice.

>> Darin: Twice.

>> Mike: that's more than once.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: and I've,

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 264 and I'm telling you right now, kids, this episode is going to be so much better than last week's episode. It's not saying much. This is last week's episode. Was not art. Was not stellar.

>> Mike: This is going to be the best version of this episode. You're going to hear all day. Yeah, we've only restarted it about 15 times, at this point, but we're gonna make it through this time.

>> Darin: It's gonna be amazing.

>> Mike: We have so many. We actually have stories to talk about.

>> Darin: A lot of stuff to talk about. Mike and I, we went to see Devo twice.

>> Darin: And we're going to break down and, and give our review of the show. And then something happened to me. There was these people who I met at the, at the Devo concert in Columbus. They told me a story and it features a word that I can't say and I've gotta work around it very strategically. So hang, on to that. Hang on to that. The hell does that mean?

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 264. We're so happy that you're with us and we promise.

>> Mike: Get your prophylactics out. Hey. Is for horses. Sometimes for cows.

>> Darin: Pigs.

>> Mike: Don't eat it because they don't know how. Remember that. You don't remember that? Have you seen the Cat's Eye?

>> Darin: The movie the Cat's Eye with, Stephen King? Yeah, I did see that. The story in there where so bad that I watched it once and then I never went to see it again.

>> Mike: The one, the guy that was in Airplane. The story with him where he has to walk around the building.

>> Darin: Robert Hayes.

>> Mike: Robert Hayes. Okay. The dude that knocked him out. That's what he said. Because he. Because Robert Hayes would be like, hey. He'd be like, that's for horses sometimes for cows. Pigs don't eat it because they don't know how. And he just popped right in the face. Knock him out.

>> Darin: That was Stephen King's first screenplay directly for film.

>> Mike: Was it?

>> Darin: Yeah. That was not based. Wasn't Carrie. No. Carrie was based on Stephen King directly.

>> Mike: Okay.


We don't have any pickles. How can you not have pickles

do you think that mayonnaise was invented?

>> Darin: Yes, I do. For. Oh, you.

>> Mike: For the chicken sandwich or. It was just a happy accident that one day somebody put it on the chicken. Because somebody probably had a chicken sandwich in their hand. And so I don't know what to do with this.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Somebody else said, we'll put a pickle on it. Yeah. We don't have any pickles.

>> Darin: How can you not have pickles?

>> Mike: We don't have pickles. And I'm not. I like pickle flavored chips.

>> Darin: Okay. I love pickles. We've been ordering stuff from Hungry Root. They bring you the, stuff to make these meals and stuff's pretty good. And so if you get the sloppy joes, they come with this little package of sucker punch bread and butter pickles. M. Shut up. M. And Jacob doesn't like the sucker punch pickles. Cameron doesn't like the sucker punch pickles. I am like, good, because I'm going to eat all the sucker punch pickles.

>> Mike: M. The.

>> Darin: They are so good. And I don't know that they sell them, individually. Well, not individually, but, you buy wood. Go and buy. Go and buy one pickle at a time.

>> Mike: Like a condom wrapper.

>> Darin: Especially since they come in little chips.

>> Mike: Can.

>> Darin: Can I buy that pickle individually? You know what, Mike, that reminds me. A couple weeks ago, we were playing catan, and we're all four sitting at the table playing catan. And we all heard a fart in the living room. We're in the kitchen.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We heard a fart in the living room.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And we all stopped and like, phantom fart. Did you hear a fart?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then. And everybody said, yes.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: But nobody was in the living room.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: And none of my, kids or my wife can throw a throw fart. Nobody.

>> Mike: Damn.

>> Darin: And then it happened again. Like 10 minutes later. We're playing and we all heard a fart.

>> Mike: Was figgy.

>> Darin: No figgies downstairs.

>> Mike: Okay. Do bunnies fart?

>> Darin: I don't think so. If he can. We've never heard it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so we like. We have a ghost fart. In our house who likes to fart. Okay.

>> Mike: I watched, with Andrew. Young Guns. Do you remember Young Guns?

>> Darin: I do.

>> Mike: With Emilio Estevez.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Christian Slater and Lou Diamond. Christian Slater was in the second one.

>> Darin: Okay. Lou Diamond. Phillips. Kiefer.

>> Mike: AH. Sutherland. Charlie Sheen, Casey Sumasc.

>> Darin: Tom Cruise was in that. No, he had a cameo.

>> Mike: No, no, he doesn't.

>> Darin: He did. He does. No, in one or in one or two? He does.

>> Mike: He has to be into. He's not.

>> Darin: Okay, but don't get fresh with me.

>> Mike: You're thinking of Tropic Thunder.

>> Darin: No, Tom Cruise has a very small cameo.


Tom Cruise has a cameo in one of the Young Guns movies

He has a cameo in one of the Young Guns movies. Go ahead, look it up. Because he was on Rosie o'. Donnell.

>> Mike: It's not Tim Cruise.

>> Darin: Tom, Cruise. Tom Cruise has a cameo. One of the Young Guns movies.

>> Mike: Tom Cruise. Young Guns cameo. young, Tom Cruise and Bon Jovi.

>> Darin: If you blink, you miss it.

>> Mike: A, blink and you'll miss it. Tom Cruise. Okay.

>> Darin: Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: One of Lawrence Murphy's henchmen. Okay, so he's in Young Guns 1. Okay, I did not know that. I. I, digress. Anyway, so. And, you're welcome. Dermot Mulroney.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Yeah. You see the size of that chicken? Anyway, he's the one that says that, it just came out that they are making.

>> Darin: Who names a kid Dermot?

>> Mike: Young Guns?

>> Darin: Damn it, Dermot, get in here.

>> Mike: Emilio Estevez is making Young Guns three Dead or alive. Have you heard of this?

>> Darin: Yeah, we talked about it two weeks ago.

>> Mike: Did we really?

>> Darin: Yes, we did.

>> Mike: Cut all this out. Did we really?

>> Darin: Yes, we did. And you're like, it's gonna be hard for them to be young 40 years later.

>> Mike: You really need to listen to this show.

>> Darin: Yeah, you. You never listen to your own show.

>> Mike: You know, McDonald's tastes like straight ass to me.

>> Darin: Now, I was talking to Jacob about that today because he and Libby both were having this conversation about how just nasty it is, and they don't even.

>> Mike: It.

>> Darin: It's like they never even look forward to it. And, Because it used to be you could, you know, eat it. Like, especially if we're on a road trip.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because when you're driving to and from somewhere on our great.

>> Darin: In the United States, the only places to eat are fast food. And so Libby was like, I don't even look forward to that anymore. When we'd stop to eat lunch on a trip, and they're sitting there talking about how nasty this food is, and I'm sitting there about to salivate. Just craving.

>> Mike: I. I gave it. I ate it on the road.

>> Darin: You gave it?

>> Mike: I gave it on the road. And just when the. When the first burger. When I was chewing the first burger, I felt my colon say, what was that? What? Really? Yeah.

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Win with a sticker and stick with a.

>> Darin: Okay. Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm, Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 265. We are thrilled that you are with us.


We're experiencing technical difficulties on Irritable Dad Syndrome. Please stand by

Welcome to the show. Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 265. Mike's in a great mood. I'm in a great mood. We're hoping that you're in a great mood because this is going to be a lot of fun. Welcome to the show.

>> Mike: Yeah, we're going to be taking the hobo boat to Tutmanton.

>> Darin: We're going to take the hobo boat to wet.

>> Mike: Yeah. It's not a good one to say. Hobo boat. That's hard to say.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: Hi, I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is some banging.

>> Dave: Please stand by. We're experiencing technical difficulties. Why can I not say technical?

>> Dave: Please stand by. We're experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you. Also, who wants some cats? We have two. They screw up every single voice gig I've ever had for the last 12 months. The price I will pay whoever, $20 to take them away. And if my wife heard me talking like this, Dead man walking.

>> Darin: Welcome back, everybody. We're getting ready. Welcome back. Yeah.

>> Mike: Thank you.


I started watching a show called Bar Rescue. Have you heard of that? Bar Rescue is hilarious

>> Darin: When was the last time you brought a new segment to the show?

>> Mike: I can't. I can't bring new things to the show. I just react and tear down other people. I started watching a show called, Bar Rescue. Have you heard of that?

>> Darin: Bar Rescue. No.

>> Mike: It's on Paramount. Plus a mountain of entertainment. Bar Rescue is this guy. I think his name is John. John Toffer. John Hoffman. John Hoffer.

>> Darin: Hoffman.

>> Mike: Toffee something. Basically, he's, He's like a, He's like a bar guy. Like a famous bar guy, has made millions. Kind of like Gordon Ramsay. Made a lot of money making pancakes. And now he has that show of, Satan's Dolly or whatever. Satan.

>> Darin: Satan's Kitchen.

>> Mike: Satan's Kitchen.

>> Darin: Hell's Kitchen.

>> Mike: Hell's Kitchen. Now this guy, I don't know, he, like, did whatever, but he's like a He sounds and acts and looks like he's, like, from the Sopranos. And he gets worked up. He gets called in to rescue these bars. Right?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So the owner or the. The bartender, something's going wrong. And so the show is about what a nightmare this bar is. And he gets mad. He comes in yelling, what the hell are you doing here? and Florin. Florin, filth. This. Oh, I can't give it Dippity do. Oh. And then sometimes they give him lip back. And I want. I've been watching clips on the YouTubes from the show, and if there's one thing I learned is I will never eat bar food again for the rest of my life.

>> Darin: Bar food.

>> Mike: Yeah. M m. Some of the stuff that was uncovered. Uh-huh. From back in the day. It's. What's. It's back in the day. But it's. It's funny watching them get so worked up about what you and I would look at and be like, okay, so you got a couple of, like, a, chicken tender. Wasn't cooked 100% perfect. Right. They go in yelling and freaking out. I tried. I mean, that would. It started out you were intrigued.

>> Darin: I'll recommend a show.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There's a show called the Studio.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And it is on the Apple. Apple plus Apple with tv. Seth Rogen.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Boy, howdy. This show is ridiculous. Ridiculously entertaining.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There's an episode called the Oner O N E R. You'd think it'd be owner, but is it the. The Oner Owner? Okay. So he runs a, studio in Hollywood where they make films. The first episode is Bryan Cranston owns the studio and wants him to make a movie about Kool Aid. The Kool Aid man. Martin Scorsese's in it. Steve Buscemi's in it. It's, like, really, really, good. And the concept of we've got a boss insisting that we make a movie about Kool Aid was hysterical.


This next episode is about Seth Rogen shooting a movie in one continuous scene

This next episode is about, Seth Rogen wants to show up on set while they're shooting this movie because they're shooting one very long continuous scene. Okay. And in the process, this episode about him wanting to watch the show in one continuous scene is shot in one continuous scene.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: And your mind is absolutely blown.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: At how I'm like, it must have taken them a hundred times to practice.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Darin: And you're talking. You talk about intricate. I mean, my God, all the pieces had to flow, and this car had to be here. This had to be here. They had to move out of this room just in time for. For this to go into this room. And they had to get it all before the sunset. And you're actually tense, okay. You're, like, on the edge of your seat, and it makes you nervous. And I was actually very, very proud of our little Seth Rogen, okay. For making this. Because when I heard he made this show, you know, Seth Rogen, okay, you keep thinking that it's gonna be some stupid thing all about stoners, farts and stoners. Yes. Yes. Amazing.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It was absolutely amazing.

>> Mike: Yeah. So that reminds me, if you've seen Birdman with.

>> Darin: I, loved. I Own that.

>> Mike: That's.

>> Darin: That's Michael Keaton.

>> Mike: That's one continuation movie.

>> Darin: Well, there's three edits.

>> Mike: Oh, well, that sucks.

>> Darin: I found one of them.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I found one of the. One of the edits. Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: If you're in Cincinnati.

>> Darin: Go on if.

>> Mike: You want to hear something funny. Yeah.

>> Darin: If you're.

>> Mike: Nothing else is on.

>> Darin: If you're anywhere.

>> Mike: If you're anywhere. This is not okay. It's been a while. It's been a while, people.

>> Darin: Yeah. Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. Jesus, Mike. When I stopped talking.

>> Mike: You got any more of those blue pills for the show?

>> Darin: The boner pills?

>> Mike: I think the show needs a boner pill. Okay. That's the one the Predator broke. Break dance.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Electric.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay. I hate that joke. Cut all that out.


Mike: One of my New Year's resolutions is not to ban Chris Hughes

so one of my New Year's resolutions is I'm not gonna ban Chris Hughes this year. He can do anything.

>> Darin: You gotta.

>> Mike: You gotta can do anything. First, I, own 50% of this show, so suck it.

>> Darin: You can. I'm going to ban him on my 50%.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. So, Chris, you're not allowed to listen to my part of the show. Chris is probably, like, good.

>> Mike: Problem solved. You see that?

>> Darin: I didn't slurp. You didn't slurp?

>> Mike: Didn't slurp?

>> Darin: Was that a New Year's resolution?

>> Mike: I'm trying. I'm trying to better myself, Derek. Yeah, okay.

>> Darin: I was. No, I'm curious because it's like, the. The whole time we were off, I think I texted you two, three times. You didn't reply to anything.

>> Mike: No, I don't. I don't. I mean, it's.

>> Darin: You don't like me when we're off, do you?

>> Mike: I Don't. I don't reply to anybody. I don't.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I really don't.

>> Darin: It's not just me.

>> Mike: It's not just me. You're the only one that texts me, Darren. Yeah, nobody. I don't. I don't. I don't. I barely reply to anyone.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm just. I don't. Just play one on the, podcast. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Chris sent us a picture of him wearing a coffee mug. That's who he is. If you look on our, our Irritable dad center, he was wearing.

>> Mike: Wearing a sweatshirt.

>> Darin: He was wearing his hoodie.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said coffee mug.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah. Well, he might be wearing that too.

>> Mike: I don't. I don't know what I'm talking about.

>> Dave: all right, try this again. All that plus Dave's cats are pissing him off. On the next Irritable Dad Syndrome. And Dave has a noisy chair. Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, made with high fructose.

>> Darin: Come on.

>> Dave: I know. There's gonna be a cat that's gonna meow. This phone's gonna go off. Join us for that plus your seven day forecast on the na. You son of a. Dave's phone goes off again. Next on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Darin: Hey, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. This is episode 147. Tonight on the show. You know, we never talk about, politics, we never talk about controversial subjects, but tonight I am going to discuss a very controversial subject. I'm going to take a side. I'm going to be right. And that's how we're going to, end it.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to talk about the fact that no one, really gave me anything that I'm supposed to. I ain't got tonight. Roll Tide, let's go.

>> Darin: All right, Darren, bring it.

>> Mike: 146 good ones.

>> Darin: Roll Tide.

>> Mike: Roll Tide. That's Alabama. That's Bama talk. Yeah.

>> Darin: Hey, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike. I thought we were gonna go with that. All right.


We had one where it was, you can't cancel

And I want to talk again about Dungeons and Dragons real briefly. If you haven't already seen it. What's wrong with you?

>> Darin: We keep saying we're going to go see it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And now you can just watch it on the, the old tv.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You can download it.

>> Mike: Yeah, okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, we'll watch it. That's what I've heard.

>> Mike: I actually, I told the story on here before. I won't tell it again. But I did. We had one where it was, you can't cancel. And we were actually in the room, me and Bess. And they had done the old switcheroo on you. Yeah. Where the way they took the. The picture they used like, ah, a fisheye lens. It made the room look huge. And I mean, it was less than half the size of this room. The bed took up. You had to walk on the bed to get to the bathroom.

>> Darin: It was like Virginia beach, right?

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah. like almost said. It almost said the. The group, the hotel. I won't. but I was. It was the same thing. And the only thing that made them switch was I was just raising my voice. I was pissed off. I was, you know, best was upset.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I, was telling them that I was looking at the pictures on their website and the pictures was. They were not the room. Right. So the guy said, well, you are saying that we are showing false pictures. Like. No, I'm, You are. Those. These pictures are not the pictures that we're standing. There's no way. Right. Like, I literally have to stand on the bed to piss in the toilet. That's not. I would not get a room like that. And they let us switch out.

>> Darin: So when I worked at Winn Dixie, this is what Mr. M. Wilcox always told us. He said, if a customer comes in and they have a gallon of milk and there's like a third, or let's say there's a thimble full of milk left in the gallon, and the customer says, this, this milk went bad, what do you do? He says, you give them the $2.23 for the gallon of milk.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You say, okay, and you give them their money back. Yeah. Because, yeah, you lost $2.23, but you saved $150 a week, customer.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: He says they will. They will keep coming back to your store. Yeah, he says, okay, yeah, absolutely.


I'm glad you're feeling better, but I hate when we take a week off

And come back and see us.

>> Mike: Yeah. Well, that sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

>> Darin: It sure did.

>> Mike: Mike and Darren go there.

>> Darin: I have a reason.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I have a. A much, better reason.

>> Mike: I even saw the original. I don't.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. It's one of my absolute favorite, not Disney movies, but favorite movies, period.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: I have seen it so many times.

>> Mike: Did you put shells on your boobs?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah. That's why all the chafing.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm gonna watch the first one again.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Before I go see.

>> Mike: Have you seen the trailer for the second one? No. Oh.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: All right. I don't know if I agreed with you or not. I think I did part of the way, and then I got way the hell off the. Well, you're gonna have fun editing this one.

>> Darin: Yes, I am.

>> Mike: I think I need to cap it at 2 tonight.

>> Darin: Are you cool with that? Yeah, because I don't really have enough to do a half hour, I don't think.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I've got enough to record, like, a bonus thing, but this is funny. And I'll.

>> Mike: We.

>> Darin: Are we still. We still.

>> Mike: We're still on. Yeah, just hold on, hold on.

>> Darin: We got pretty animated there.

>> Mike: Yeah, we did. Every time we do two, it's the second one that goes. It is.

>> Darin: It's the second one where we lose.

>> Mike: Our every single time.

>> Darin: The first one was. Second one was amazeballs.

>> Mike: And then once you get done doing your magic, which you do. Excellent job.

>> Darin: Thank you.

>> Mike: Once you. Once you get done doing that, they'll both be awesome.

>> Darin: I don't even remember what we talked about in the first one now. Oh, the. Oh, the Chicago.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah, that was good. That was really good.

>> Darin: Yeah. And the mysterious noise from upstairs.

>> Mike: Yeah. And me everywhere, I think. And the second one just became.

>> Darin: I'm glad you're feeling better, but I hate when we take a week off because I, look forward to this every week.

>> Mike: I do too.

>> Darin: I do.

>> Mike: This is. This helps my mental health.

>> Darin: It does me too. It helps you break up the week. I. I look forward to doing. To recording it. I look forward to editing it. I tend to get chatty with people. They're. A stranger is a friend. Yeah, a stranger is a friend you haven't met yet. And I was like, I don't know if he's wanting to chat or not, but I'm just going to sit here and be quiet. This guy, they called his number, and he goes up to the front. He's in a wheelchair. They called his number and they said, what can we help you with, sir? And he says, I'm here to renew my motorcycle license. And the lady said, how much it costs? He goes, huh? And then the dude left next to me, started laughing.

>> Mike: I'm like.


A man in a wheelchair rides a motorcycle. That seemed kind of odd to me

>> Darin: So next thing you know, he and I are talking for 40 minutes and waiting for me to go off of a thing. But. Yeah, why is a guy in a motorcycle? And I don't want. If you are in a wheelchair, please do not send me hate mail. I didn't know people in wheelchairs rode motorcycles. That seemed that. That seemed kind of odd to me.


Libby and I went to Indianapolis for son's marching band competition

again, I hope I don't offend there a Few weeks ago, I told you that we went to Indianapolis.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And, for my son's marching band competition.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we stayed at a Best Western hotel. Before we left, Libby was packing her suitcase and I was packing my suitcase, and she said, bring a swimsuit. There's a pool at the hotel where we're staying. I'm like, oh, cool. So we both packed our swimsuits, thinking we're going to go swimming. When we got to the hotel and we had time to kill, she was like, do you want to go swimming? And then I thought, not really. Do you want to go swimming? And then she said. She said, not really. Then we thought, what would we do with an indoor pool? We're not going to swim. We didn't bring pool noodles or a football or, things to throw. And finding.

>> Mike: Just gonna float in the pool.

>> Darin: Just gonna. And I thought, I'm just gonna go down there and get wet and then I'll have to dry off.

>> Mike: Yeah. It's become like people soup.

>> Darin: And then I. And this is going absolutely nowhere.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we're gonna edit this completely out of the podcast because I thought it was funny at the time, but what's the point of going to a pool if you're not going to, if you don't have any kids? Because I used to think, oh, man, the pool would be so relaxing. An outdoor pool is relaxing, but an indoor pool, you're just getting in a cold bathtub.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Can I say something?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Very quickly. I do get jealous of you on weeks where you edit because you can just say the stupidest because you know you're editing and you can edit it out.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So, like, weeks, when I met. I don't know if you paid close attention to the last episode. I cut out minutes of my rambling and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Complete. I went off on a wild tangent, on the inside of that damn music hall that Pussifer played at in the edit. I didn't even care that the edit. I. I'm talking. I'm saying it was wonderful. And those alls are cover fun. That's because I cut out like five minutes of me going, there's a thing and there's a thing.

>> Darin: I remember Der, derpy, Derpy. I remember you saying, I'm, I'm going to edit out probably half of this.

>> Mike: Yeah. And then I was kidding, but I did.

>> Darin: Well, I listened to it and I'm like, I just didn't hear him. Good job. She would edit anything out.

>> Mike: Oh, my God.

>> Darin: Yeah. I Got a message from, Todd, my co worker in Chicago, and he said, he said, I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it's happened a few times. Don't quote me. So what did I do? I quoted that word. Haven't seen it, but I'm sure it's happened a few times. Quote Mark. Quote Mark Todd.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I sent it back to him.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Nothing. And I felt like, oh, come on, that's funny.

>> Mike: And then he, like, you and I are going to throw hands on baked beans flavored. Candy covered. Candy covered. but I am going to agree with you, so maybe we won't throw hands.

>> Darin: Okay. I've never had them, but.

>> Mike: You never have.

>> Darin: No. That's what I've never had.

>> Mike: I go through a box.

>> Darin: I've never had them. You've never had them. That's what I said. I've never had them.

>> Mike: See, that was.

>> Darin: You've never had.

>> Mike: That was mirthful.

>> Darin: Ethel. Mirth.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Dave: Merman.

>> Darin: Ethel Merman.

>> Mike: Merman.

>> Darin: Hello, my baby. Hello, my m. Honey.

>> Mike: No, not in this show, okay?

>> Darin: Right. Time girl.

>> Mike: No. Damn it.


Dave: The 10 best water and amusement parks in Rhode Island

What the hell do nurses know about podcasting? That's live and recorded, right? A nurse will save a baby from a flaming tree. Huh? Three years from now. And they'll go back and they'll pull this audio. and be like, why do you hate nurses? I'll double down.

>> Darin: I. I know you will.

>> Mike: Yeah. I had a friend who will not be named. He was talking to other friends and he said something like, this, podcast is pretty good. And he's like, yeah, Darren's really funny.

>> Darin: And I'm like, who said that?

>> Mike: I'm not telling you. I'll tell you off the air.

>> Darin: I don't want to.

>> Mike: I don't want it. Foreign stupid Rhode island jokes.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: Rhode Island State jokes. There's a whole website here.

>> Darin: Give me two of them.

>> Mike: What do you. What do you call a good looking girl on the. this is. That's not a good one.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Do you live in Rhode Island? No. You can't fit a house. What the hell are these written by like a 6 year old? Talk amongst yourselves. Rhode island amusement parks.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: water whiz Water. Okay.

>> Dave: I wonder what happens in that.

>> Mike: Yeah. The 10 best water and amusement parks in Rhode Island. Yes, folks, they can fit 10 of them in there. Okay, the Watch Hill Merry Go Round. So they have one merry go round. That's their number one amusement park. It's right there. 2. The Roger Williams Park Carousel Village. I heard that advertised another merry go round a launch. Trampoline Park. Oh, we're starting to fall off here.

>> Darin: That's not a water breakfast.

>> Mike: Trampoline Adventureland Family park. Huh? The water whiz, I think Bayview Fun Park. They don't even have a picture of it. They have, like, one of those. Yeah, they don't have pictures of any of the rest of these damn things. Fox Point Water Park. Billy Taylor Water Park. It's just like some kid named Billy Taylor has a hose in his backyard. Are cranberries a tree or a bush?

>> Darin: A, bush.

>> Mike: Neither.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: Yeah, this is.

>> Darin: Oh, come on.

>> Mike: Yeah, it's a low. A, low growing, vining woody perennial.

>> Darin: Now, I should have known that because I watched, cranberry Jeopardy.

>> Dave: What? They actually had that? Yes, Dave, I guess this is what surpasses cranberry Jeopardy. This is about as good as you're gonna get right here.


Can dogs eat cranberries? I'm gonna say no

>> Mike: Well, okay, here's a question. why can't I buy cranberries?

>> Darin: Because you the available.

>> Mike: Excuse me. The availability of fresh cranberries is limited because their harvest season is very short. Do you know what the harvest season is? October, to December. Uh-huh.

>> Darin: I think Dave told us that.

>> Dave: Yes. It's, a month and a half or so.

>> Mike: Right. Both. Can dogs eat cranberries?

>> Darin: I'm gonna say no.

>> Mike: Both fresh and dried cranberries are safe to feed to dogs in small quantities, especially if they have a UTI or fast growing tumors.

>> Dave: Water Whiz is the porn movie.

>> Darin: Yeah. Water.

>> Mike: Oh, my God. Okay. Did you already talk about the state tree of Rhode Island?

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: It's the red maple.

>> Darin: The red maple.

>> Mike: And they have the red chicken.

>> Darin: Huh? Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. They suck, man. I'm sorry. If you're from. We have no listeners in Rhode Island. We have none.

>> Darin: They can't work.

>> Mike: What the hell?

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh. Join us next week with Hank, the Sesame street bigot. Hank, the Sesame street bigot. His name's Hank. I don't know. Again, it's like, I found it. I found, like, all this, somebody else had written down and I'm trying to decipher. It's like you found a map to hidden treasure.

>> Mike: You know, I'm an old school stern fan. That's a character he would have. He's like, oh, we got Hank, the Sesame street bigot coming in the studio now, Hank.

>> Darin: What's new with you, Oscar?

>> Mike: Snuffle up against.

>> Darin: I don't like green people. Lord Big bird walking around.

>> Mike: Just the idea of a bigot Being on. Because I don't think there's two people in the same dim. Any demographic. None of them are. They got a bird. you got a Snuffleupicus. You've got a green monster in a can.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: You've got Gordon. You got Mr. Hooper. Yep. not. They're all, like, completely different. Yep. A bigot 7 field day in there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: He would be in one of the little corner apartments.

>> Darin: You and I are never going to be allowed on Sesame Street.

>> Mike: No, no.

>> Darin: And see, I just. I just shot myself in the foot. Because I would love nothing more than to go on Sesame street and do a skit with Grover. Hey, everybody. Hi, Grover. How you doing? Oh, I'm doing pretty good, Aaron. Yeah, no, great.

>> Mike: Now we have. But we've opened the door.

>> Darin: I could teach Elmo and, Cookie Monster about pronouns. We've opened, We've opened.

>> Mike: What we've done is we've opened two doors that were previously closed. South park would have us on in an instant to have Hank the Sesame street bigot.

>> Darin: You know, they would. Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and Family Guy. I'm gonna hashtag Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They're gonna listen to you.

>> Mike: Yeah. I could see Family Guy. I could see Stewie say, do you remember when Hank the Sesame Street Bigot was on? And then he.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's.


It's a Family Guy joke. Yeah, it's. This is. My wife and kids are gonna be so proud

>> Mike: It's a Family Guy joke.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's.

>> Mike: We've made it to the big times.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah. Except we haven't.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Yeah. My wife and kids are gonna be so proud.

>> Mike: This is.

>> Darin: I wish.


This is the second episode of the M. Show, Best of Volume two

>> Mike: What was the best thing you said before? This is the new best thing you've ever said. What was the other best thing?

>> Darin: Oh, you need to learn more words.

>> Mike: You need to learn more words. Was. Was one. But the one that killed me. where Bono is your Lord and savior.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, yeah, that one.

>> Mike: You almost killed me on that. You literally almost murdered me on that one.

>> Darin: And we. Oh, we were gonna make that a title of an episode.

>> Mike: M. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't wanna.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: there was another one you said.

>> Darin: I'm gonna try out this new podcast. This Bono is your lord and savior.

>> Mike: There's one, There's one that you said when me and Bess were listening together, and she laughed so hard at a line that you said, she stopped breathing. I can't remember what it was. It was one of those where we were playing off each other, and then you just threw it out. And she actually. Possums is one of her favorite. Yeah, she keeps talking about the possums. It was the greatest moment in our.

>> Darin: Show, Best of Volume two.

>> Dave: By the way, is it just me, or is this show getting more and more stupid? Whatever. If you've enjoyed this episode, then I know you'll enjoy our other episodes. And guess what? They're all available to listen to right now from our website, irritabledadsyndrome. Com.