IDS #267 - Blood In The Parking Lot and Other Fun Family Vacation Stories

Mike returns from vacation in Orlando, Florida

>> Dave: This episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome was recorded on July 15, 2025. If any major current event should happen before this episode is released, we're sorry we didn't mention it. I mean, hey, it's not like we have a crystal ball, okay?

>> Mike: I always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like the third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky.

>> Dave: This is Irritable Dad Syndrome. I'm your announcer, Dave Lay. Please welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren. I am, Mike. Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 267. Mike got back from vacation. I'm gonna tell you right now, I missed Mike. Yeah, I miss you when you're gone.

>> Mike: Yeah, I miss you as well.

>> Darin: Just like Libby's like, darren, what's wrong? I said, I miss Mike.

>> Mike: Throughout the trip, Bess was sending out updates to her family. And then at one point her sister said, you have got to write this stuff down. And I said to Bess, fear not. There will be a podcast episode where we document all of these items.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then stuff just kept happening. More and more stuff to where I was concerned that we weren't going to capture it all. So it's going to be a very. Mike. If you're a fan of Mike and.

>> Darin: Not a fan of Darren. Not a fan of Darren, you're gonna love this episode.

>> Mike: This is gonna be your episode.

>> Darin: So I pass out from fear and.

>> Mike: When I wake up, I'm in Florida.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Mike went to Orlando, Florida.

>> Mike: It's in Florida.

>> Darin: Went to Universal Studios.

>> Mike: Penis.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: America's penis.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: It's not, ah, the erect penis because it's hanging down.

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: And we went to the, to the Disney's. And we went to the new. The Epic Universe. Universal.

>> Darin: Universal Studios.

>> Mike: And we, we drove this time. Long time. Listeners will remember.

>> Darin: Come on, kids. The best part of vacation is getting there.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. That's what I used to think. That's when we went out west. That was the best part of the vacation, was the getting to the places. Not so much when you're driving south.

>> Darin: Not so much. No. If you've never driven south to Florida. Yeah, there's. But yeah, we're gonna talk about that. And Libby and I went to see Billy Gibbons, lead singer of ZZ Top. He came to, our area for A concert on the 4th of July. And there were two things that happened to this concert that I've never experienced before. And I'm gonna talk about later in the episode.


Darren sent me an itinerary for the Pocket. I read this itinerary multiple times

But how you been?

>> Mike: I. I've been pretty good.

>> Darin: It's been hectic.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: I just got back a few days ago, and, you know, the thing of where you go on vacation and you need to get back into the. The. The saddle, as it were.

>> Darin: Back into the grind.

>> Mike: Back into the grind.

>> Darin: The swing of things.

>> Mike: I haven't quite gotten all the way there yet. I'm still, in this damn show. Darren messaged me and said, hey, are you ready to run the Pocket? Now? Here's the deal. Darren sent me an itinerary. I did a schedule. A schedule of what we were doing week to week. Darren puts effort into this show.

>> Mike: I did.

>> Mike: He really does put a lot of effort in the show.

>> Darin: On this date, this episode will drop.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we won't record because you'll be in Florida.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And on this date, we're going. This episode will drop. And then, I will be in town.

>> Mike: I read this itinerary multiple times. I even reread it last night. And I told Bess. I looked over at Bess and said, I don't have the podcast tomorrow. I told the kids, we're going to watch XYZ because I don't have the podcast. Yay, dad. You're the best dad ever.

>> Darin: We can't wait because we don't like when Darren comes over.

>> Mike: Darren sent me a helpful text.

>> Mike: Hey. Hey.

>> Mike: Are you. Are you ready for the podcast?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: To which I said, whoa. And I think I sent some profanity your way.

>> Darin: No, you said, I didn't think we were doing that tonight.

>> Mike: Yeah. yeah.

>> Darin: Didn't you get the email? Oh, I read the email.

>> Mike: Yeah, but. Okay.

>> Darin: But you still thought we were doing it anyway.

>> Mike: There were not enough context clues in the email for me to understand, but here we are. So I hurriedly. I just started writing down all the things that happened, and. Dear Hymeny.

>> Darin: Oh, my goodness.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah. Lock and load.


Billy Gibbons performed at a free concert in Cincinnati on July 4

You want to talk about the William Gibbons?

>> Darin: Oh, sure. When Libby and I, on the 4th of July, we live in the Cincinnati area, and there's a thing called Red, White and Blue Ash, and it's a free concert every year. And I think I looked on the Google, and I think, like, upwards of close to 80,000 people or something came to Red, White and Blue Ash. Right. For this free concert with Billy Gibbons. Now, somebody lied to Billy Gibbons. Somebody told him that every person in attendance paid $100 to $150 a ticket to see this show, because that's the type of performance he put on. He was absolutely amazing. Just, amazing. So, it was a thrill to see him. I'd seen ZZ Top a couple times back in the day. ZZ Top are amazing. I've got all their albums. I've always enjoyed their music. So, yeah, we're gonna go see Billy Gibbons. It's a free show. We're sitting there, and before the concert starts, this guy, he comes up and he sits down next to me, and he's like another version of me. Hey, have you seen ZZ Top? I'm like, yes, I have. How many times have you seen him? Just a couple. I've seen him four times. And, my wife bought this shirt and blah, blah, blah. And seriously, he's like a me. And I'm thinking, is this what I'm like? Is this really what I'm like when I start chatting up people at concerts? Because I will. I'll sit next to somebody and start asking them, how many times have you seen this band? And what's your favorite album? And can you believe that they don't have this bass player with them anymore? And stuff like that. So this is the first of two things that's never happened to me at a concert. This particular concert, Libby was the one who started acting out, okay? Who started screwing with total strangers. And they're in their heads, right? We're sitting there, and there's a guy next to me. And Libby said, who are we seeing again? I said, we're seeing Billy Gibbons. And she said, who? Rib Givens? No, it's not Rib Givens. It's Billy Gibbons. And who is he again? I said, he's lead singer of ZZ Top. And she goes, the guys with the beards? I said, yeah, the guys with the beards. And she said, is that all he does? To which the guy next to me butts in and he says, he plays guitar. Now, normally, I would be like, hey, I'm having a conversation with my wife, and this doesn't concern you. But I thought that was hilarious. And he looks at her, he says, he plays guitar. And she says, is he any good?

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And the guy says, he's one of the best guitarists of all time. To which Libby responded, well, if he's that good, how come I've never heard of him? And I leaned over, I said, Libby, stop, stop. You're going to send this guy Into a fit of rage.

>> Mike: Oh, my gosh.

>> Darin: And.

>> Mike: Awesome.

>> Darin: If he's that good, how, come I've never heard of him? And I thought that was brilliant. So. So there was that. Billy Gibbons comes on and it's Billy Gibbons and the BFGs, okay? It's not a ZZ Top concert. He occasionally will perform solo. But it's ZZ Top, okay? It's the same set list. It's almost all ZZ Top songs. He does Foxy, Lady by Jimmy and the Hendrix. And, he does like two other blues songs that are covers. But the other 15 songs are ZZ Top songs, right? And he does Give Me all your Loving and Just Got Paid. And, just. He was so good. But here's the thing. It's like if you're in a rock band like m. Mick Jagger, if you're listening, Mick Jagger will go on stage and he probably loses 10 to 15 pounds a show from all the running he does on stage, right? And he's just constantly. You can't stop him, right? And people go nuts over that. Billy Gibbons and his bass player would stand there with guitars and they would turn to the left, they would turn to the right. They would drop the guitar down.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They would ring it back up and they were in unison. Oh, my God.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: People were losing their absolute minds, huh? When they would do something in unison, they would turn to the left, turn to the right, drive the car. And I'm like, that's all you got to do.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah.

>> Darin: That's all you got to do to be just. They were so cool. So absolutely cool.


The second thing that happened at this concert that I've never seen before

The second thing that happened at this concert that I've never seen happen before was they did Sharp Dress man. Okay? So they're doing Sharp Dress man and there's not a person sitting. Everyone is up and dancing and just losing their mind. They can't get enough. And they get to the chorus and he would point to the crowd and. And all 80 or however many thousands of people would yell, every girl is crazy. So he does Sharp Dressed man standing ovation. People could not stop screaming and clapping. And he looks at the bass player and he looks at the drummer and he said, that was fun. Let's do that one again. And he throws his finger up in the air, whirls it around. And I thought he was kidding.

>> Mike: Yeah, I thought they did the whole song.

>> Darin: I thought that he was going to do like the last verse. Because many times bands will end their show and then they come back out with the. The last chorus again as their encore. Right?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They start the song completely over and I'm like, he's doing the whole song. And it comes running just as fast as they can.

>> Mike: Every girl's crazy about a song.

>> Darin: And they did the whole song. And when he was done, they screamed louder the second time. That's awesome. Nobody was confused, like, why did he put. I was like, did he forget which song was coming next? Or did they have to do a solid hour but they hadn't rehearsed and they.

>> Mike: Whatever it could be, he just does whatever the hell he wants.

>> Darin: He does whatever the hell he wants to. Yeah. But for a guy who's 75 and still out there just tearing it up. Oh my God. If he comes around, if Billy Gibbons and the bfgs come to your town, go see him. If ZZ Top come around, go see him. Because I mean, Dusty died, the bass player died like four years ago. And I heard from the guy sitting next to me who was getting more and more pissed off at my wife Libby, I heard that Frank, the drummer for ZZ Top wasn't doing well. Now I don't know if that's true or not, but that's what I heard. So it's got to be true if I heard it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Anyway, I don't know the future of ZZ Top, but as long as Billy Gibbons is playing music, you gotta go see him. So that was really, really cool.

>> Dave: We interrupt this program to congratulate Kyle Slingo and Rob Remke, Irritable Dad Syndrome's listener of the week. Way to go, fellas.


Mike was close to canceling his Disney trip because of bad weather forecast

Now back to the show.

>> Darin: So how was your trip, Mike?

>> Mike: Oh God.

>> Mike: Yeah. Okay, okay. All right.

>> Mike: So it was a Disney slash universal thing, right? And we planned, we started planning it months and months and months ago. You've got as you do, you can't.

>> Darin: Do a trip like that all willy nilly as the kids.

>> Mike: And the thing that I really enjoy about Disney is they have perfected, throw money at the problem. They just. If you go to the Disney website, they will help you plan your vacation. And, and it's just. Where do you want to stay? Here or here?

>> Mike: You know, this is the cost here. This is the cost here. Do you want to add tickets?

>> Mike: You may need a magic band. Do you want a magic band? I'd like to have a money. Yeah, the magic band is where if you're going to do a Disney trip, get the magic band. More on that later.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: That saved our trip so many times. But anyway, you know, so we're throwing Money at the problem. Like, crazy through, a lot of money at the problem. as it were.

>> Mike: And then, you know, we've been paying for it along the way. And then finally the time came a couple days before we're going. Here comes a potential hurricane. Oh, the Weather Channel.

>> Mike: Oh, sorry.

>> Mike: Their little forecasting thing. Acted like it was Armageddon. And I have a problem. I've had a problem that's been building.

>> Darin: You do not for the Weather Channel.

>> Mike: I actively despise them. Now I've moved over to accuweather because at least accuweather gave me.

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Mike: Accurate weather.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: The Weather Channel made it sound like Satan himself was shoving water onto Florida and that we would die. They literally. They literally said thunderstorms, tropical storms, potential hurricane. 20% of a potential hurricane. and then the next seven days, it's going to storm every day. Rain, rain, rain. And I was pissed. Oh, I remember because it kept getting worse and worse.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then I go to accuweather and they're like, it's going to rain maybe an hour on this day, maybe two hours on that day, Maybe a few clouds. Spoiler. It rained twice.

>> Darin: The pictures that you were posting on the Facebook could not have been lovelier.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: We came very close.

>> Darin: I've ever seen.

>> Mike: The only reason we didn't cancel. I was very close to canceling. But you have to have an active hurricane warning.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: And then Disney will reimburse you and Universal may, whatever. But I was freaked out, so I was already pissed at the Weather Channel.


Andrew Odle had a bloody nose caused by Charlie's fist

We're driving down.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: We decided to stop the first night in Gatlinburg. in the Tennessee.

>> Darin: I've been together.

>> Mike: That's how they say it. The Tennessee.

>> Darin: The Tennessee.

>> Mike: Andrew had a bloody nose, caused in part by Charlie's fist as we were getting out of the car.

>> Mike: At the.

>> Mike: Hotel at one in the morning. Gatlinburg. Mike, why are you getting out of the hotel or getting out of the car at one in the morning? because of traffic, construction. We were two and a half hours behind. They actually stopped letting people in at 1am at this hotel. Oh, right. I called ahead and said, we're. I don't. We're gonna. We'll be there. we're pulling in the parking lot, and Charlie just, I guess, you know, I don't know, unloaded on Andrew's nose, and Andrew had a bloody nose. Gets out.

>> Darin: Why did Charlie hit Andrew?

>> Mike: We haven't completed the investigation yet.

>> Darin: It's pending.

>> Mike: But we get out of the car. And now Andrew's bleeding all over the parking lot. We're trying to find rags and things that stop this bleeding. I didn't realize how bad it was yet. he finally got at the stop. We went into the hotel. We decided we just have enough time. The next day, we're gonna eat pancakes. You can't go more than 10ft and in Gatlinburg without somebody throwing a pancake at you or a flapjack or a crispy disc. They had all kinds of names for them.

>> Darin: A, crispy disk.

>> Mike: But we go out.

>> Darin: What I remember about Gatlinburg is that the pancake house is right next to that place where you get pocket knives and homemade fudge.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: So I go out there to get the car, and I stop because there is a large blood stain in the parking lot, which was caused by Andy. It looks like someone was murdered. Hey, what happened in the parking space? And I stood out there and cackled as only a dad of two kids, two brothers, one of which punched the other. And we create a bloodstain like this, thinking, what are other people thinking when they come out here and see what has happened?

>> Darin: Well, the best thing about it was you posted on the Facebook, what a way to start a vacation. Blood in the parking lot.

>> Mike: More later.

>> Darin: Yeah. Not a clue what happened.

>> Mike: And I think Bess explained it later. I forgot about it. I forgot about the post. And she said, I need to tell people what happened. This is. You can't just put blood out there.

>> Darin: Because we have family, you know, the Odle family vacation. Stay tuned, because I think people really locked in.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Like, boy, howdy, I can't wait to see what happens on day two.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.


We visit the Atlanta Aquarium. The top aquarium in the United States

>> Mike: So we go to Atlanta from Gatlinburg. We had the pancakes. We go to Atlanta, and we visit the Atlanta Aquarium. That was Bess's idea. The. And I did not know this. The top aquarium in the United States.

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: So we visited that. We go around. We're looking at all the exhibits. It is pretty nice.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: we got pictures with a guy dressed as a seahorse. We don't know why he was there. I mean, it's the aquarium.

>> Darin: Was he complaining about having all the babies?

>> Mike: Well, he was acting like he was a superhero.

>> Darin: It's a seahorse joke.

>> Mike: It was a good one, too.

>> Mike: Thank you.

>> Mike: Clearly, he was dressed like stitches. He wasn't dressed like a classic seahorse.

>> Mike: He was dressed like what you would expect. A seahorse superhero.

>> Darin: Like a modern day seahorse?

>> Mike: No, like a Ah. Person who has become a seahorse with superpowers.

>> Darin: Like a centaur, I think he had a cape.

>> Mike: And Andrew wanted to get pictures with him. He looked lonely.

>> Darin: Well, of course you look lonely when you're dressed like a seahorse.

>> Mike: As the day went on, we found other sea animals, and then they all kind of congregated.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then people were taking pictures.

>> Darin: Appropriate for an aquarium.

>> Mike: But at the beginning, this dude was just walking around dressed like a superhero seahorse. And he was more than happy to get pictures with us. So we got the pictures. we go over to the beluga whale exhibit.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: I get a nice video of the belugas were coming up to the glass and rubbing on them as they swam. And then one of them took a very impressive.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Mike: And it just spread throughout the water. The other whale swam through it. I got a nice 4k video of this. Charlie thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

>> Darin: Well, I told you, that's what Fiona the hippo does at the Cincinnati Zoo. Just poops all the time.

>> Mike: And then we left the aquarium. Because after that, after you see a beluga whale, what else is there? What else is there to see? we drive on down the road. We hit a Buc EE's. we drove into a Buc EE's. So we did visit.

>> Darin: You didn't physically drive.

>> Mike: No, no, no.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: and we got the. Some of the nastiest food I've ever had in my life.

>> Darin: But it was good, though, right?

>> Mike: No, no, M. And we got beaver.

>> Darin: beaver nuggets.

>> Mike: Beaver nuggets that we ended up leaving in the car. And it formed one big beaver nugget that we threw away later on the trip.

>> Darin: We weren't. We couldn't eat our beaver nuggets fast enough.

>> Mike: I enjoyed Buc EE's, but the trip was so chaotic that we just forgot about the nuggets.


We did not forget to stop at the world's largest peanut monument

We did not forget to stop at the world's largest peanut monument.

>> Mike: I saw the photo. Yeah.

>> Mike: No one in the family but me was excited about that. I was trying to explain to him, this is the world's largest peanut monuments. If you see another peanut monument, it's smaller. If any of your friends ever brag about seeing a peanut monument, you can tell them I saw the world's biggest. They were unfazed. Can we get back in the car? Can we just go? Okay. So we went to the next hotel to wake up to go to. And I can't say the word. Itchy something. Park Itchy Tuckney. Itchy Tuckney Park.

>> Darin: Itchy Tuckney.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: And they had a. What's known as a blue hole.

>> Mike: Hello.

>> Mike: A swimming hole.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Mike: And the water's clear and blue. Yeah.

>> Mike: Not. Yeah, okay.

>> Mike: It's a family vacation.

>> Darin: Was that in the men's room?

>> Mike: So originally, I just wanted to see what it looked like with what Weather Channel was telling me I was gonna have to, like, wear a parka, and get some climbing gear to snorkel. Snorkel. But no, it was. It was sunny. Everything was nice. We go visit the Blue Hole, and then we decide, hey, we're never gonna be on this road again. Let's take a dip. Let's go into the Blue Hole. It was cold as snot.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: when you first get in, we're in there swimming around. It was kind of scary because it was very deep. There weren't very many places to stand. Ike was the only one that could stand out there. You gotta tread water along. Treading water. There's some people out there with some masters. A very nice gentleman that let me use his mask to look down in the Blue hole. That was fun for a bit. And then I started wondering what was gonna come out of it.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: we swam around in there for a while. We were in the water for a while, and then someone said, hey, a snapping turtle. What?

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Mike: M. Those of us with junk are immediately concerned about the presence.

>> Darin: Or toes.

>> Mike: Or toes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And he held up in his fingers a baby snapping turtle. Now, you may be saying, and Mike, where there are babies, there may be mama mamas. And sure enough, snorkel man over on the other side of the blue hole said, there's an adult snapping turtle over here. But don't worry, he's just hanging out over here swimming around, Right?

>> Mike: Yeah. No.

>> Mike: Then we get out of the water.

>> Darin: Nobody got snapped by.

>> Mike: Nobody got snapped by the turtle. But we were in this. We were swimming for about an hour, hour and a half in the water.

>> Darin: That's where you. So you're swimming.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Let me be clear.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: You're swimming in the water.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: And we get out, and then someone points out, hey, there's a fence slightly underwater going around. And another gentleman helpfully opined, that is to keep the alligators out.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Mike: And then Bess, what with her super investigative eyes, said, should we be concerned that there's a big tear in the fence over here?

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Mike: And another person said, nah, my heart. Like, I knew I was out of the water. I knew my kids were out of the water. I knew Bess was out of the water, but still, that feeling in your stomach, like, I could have just died in there and the gator would have taken us down to the Blue Hole. never more to be heard from again.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: See, I was freaked out enough about the turtles.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah.

>> Mike: And so we packed up our stuff and headed on to the Animal Kingdom Lodge, which is where we stayed. I highly recommend, if you're staying at Disney, stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. They. You can see the animals. We had.


Disney is nothing if not aware of beautification and how things should look

We had giraffes and wildebeests, and out there.

>> Darin: Did the giraffes walk right up to the window at the restaurant?

>> Mike: Is that.

>> Darin: No, they have little.

>> Mike: They have nice little things. See, Disney is nothing if not aware, of beautification and how things should look where they. So the nice little shocky things that don't look like shocky things, but the animals know damn well.

>> Mike: Oh, that's.

>> Mike: Don't walk up here. It's a shocky thing.

>> Darin: Were they constantly playing the theme from Lion King?

>> Mike: No. Really?

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: But they had.

>> Darin: I'm surprised.

>> Mike: There was a lot of, like, artwork, and there was a lot of Lion King stuff, but it was, like, subtle. Like, wood carving. Like, the chairs in our room had, the lying face carved in. was. It was nice.


There are four Disney theme parks in Florida. Okay. So there's four. Disney parks in Disney World

And then our first day was at the Animal Kingdom.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: That's Bess's favorite park of all of them.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Now, we bought,

>> Darin: I'm sorry. And I'm not trying to throw you off.

>> Mike: Sure.

>> Mike: But there's Animal Kingdom.

>> Mike: Animal Kingdom.

>> Mike: Magic.

>> Darin: Epcot.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Magic King.

>> Mike: Yes. And Hollywood Studios.

>> Darin: Hollywood Studios.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: So there's four. Four theme parks. Disney parks in Disney World.

>> Mike: Correct.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: In Florida.

>> Darin: Flower.

>> Mike: Orlando.

>> Mike: Right, right.

>> Mike: The Orlando infrastructure.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: As it were.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: That makes no sense. Anyway, we bought magic bands. And on, I never bought magic bands when I saw them on the website because I said, I'm not spending money on that.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: We found out.

>> Darin: Not stupid.

>> Mike: We found out that your tickets, all your fast passes, all your meals, everything are on the magic band.

>> Darin: All your meals.

>> Mike: I will tell you. Yeah. We got a D. We got the dining plan. We figured out that we would save so much money with the dining plan, and we did. Okay, but here's the deal. We saw people without the magic bands, and they had one person in their party that had to carry around all the tickets, all the fast pass, all that stuff, and then just go through and scan them for each person. It was annoying for everyone else because you have to wait behind this person.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And the Disney people are always saying, you can go around and get this. If you have a magic band, if everyone in your party has a magic band, just go up.

>> Darin: Bing.

>> Mike: You're in.

>> Mike: Boom.

>> Darin: Bing.

>> Mike: Into the park.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: I want a burger.

>> Darin: Bing.

>> Mike: Burger gets thrown at your face. It was amazing.

>> Darin: They throw it at your face.

>> Mike: They throw it right at your face.

>> Darin: I got to know that I'm,

>> Mike: I got a free burger. I got a free meal.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: In the Animal Kingdom because I was able to tell them when it opened. I gave them the wrong answer, but they still gave me the burger.

>> Darin: It opened in 2005.

>> Mike: I said 1992. It was a different year. I had the biggest cookie I've ever had in my life at Animal Kingdom. It was a Mickey Mouse head.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: It was the size of a dinner plate, and it was pineapple. It was coated in pineapple flavored icing, which sounded disgusting. The main reason I got it, I'm.

>> Darin: Thinking it sounds pretty good.

>> Mike: It was free. Well, we paid for the dining plan. It's considered a snack.

>> Darin: Bing.

>> Mike: Throw a cookie at me. This snack took me a half hour to eat.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: And I loved every second.

>> Darin: Now, did everybody get a cookie?

>> Mike: No. Kids were off doing righty things. Me and Bess had. Bess got a chocolate chip version, which I said, where's your sense of adventure?

>> Mike: Right.


You've got a chocolate chip next to a pineapple cookie. Um, so Animal Kingdom, I was afraid

>> Mike: You've got a chocolate chip next to a pineapple cookie. You get the pineapple.

>> Darin: I think Bess, her sense of adventure is living every day with you.

>> Mike: That's true. so Animal Kingdom, I was afraid.

>> Darin: That the boys are just sitting there watching you eat this cookie, and you're.

>> Mike: Like, no, leave Daddy alone. They never even knew about the cookie until they listened to this episode at some point in the future, which they won't.


Public service announcement: Hot weather is here, wear sunscreen and drink plenty fluids

>> Dave: It's time now for an irritable dead syndrome Public service announcement. Hot weather is here, and it's very important that you wear sunscreen and drink plenty of fluids. This has been an irritable dead syndrome. Public service announcement.

>> Mike: One item that I regret now, this happened twice during the trip, is I saw a peek into the behind the scenes of Disney. So the first peak is there's a train ride in Animal Kingdom that takes you in the background. Now, if you're in Animal Kingdom, normally they have, like, a little safari ride where you go out and you see actual giraffes and rhinos and elephants. Sometimes they come right up to your car.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: We had, when we went one year, giraffe Practically stuck its head in and sniffed somebody.

>> Mike: this time they didn't do that.

>> Darin: And sniffed by a giraffe.

>> Mike: Dude driving the thing seemed to want to get out of there. He didn't want to spend a lot of time looking at the animals. So your. Your mileage may vary depending on which guide you get. But Bess and I. I wanted to eat. I was. If you remember, I got that badass cookie. I wanted to eat it. So we said, let's go on this train ride that nobody goes on. and part of the thing was it show you behind the scenes. Kind of wish I'd never seen that, because you see the little cages and the stuff behind the scenes where they keep the animals, and I don't wanna. It kind of breaks the magic.

>> Darin: Well, you knew they were being held somewhere.

>> Mike: I know they don't just let the giraffes walk around the streets at night and say, come back in the morning, Curtis. You gotta. You gotta eat your leaves in front of these people. I. I knew the lions were just walking around, but still, just seeing the cages they go into, it just kind of. It put a downer on the animal kingdom.

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Mike: I kind of.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I mean, I assumed that they would have big zoo, like.

>> Mike: Yeah, they do.

>> Mike: They.

>> Mike: It is nice. I mean, they're nice. we saw the Animal Kingdom show, which, if you're going to go see the Animal Kingdom, it's the Lion King show.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: with, I got a picture with Pumbaa.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: That was exciting.

>> Mike: Pumbaa's the.

>> Mike: The warthog.

>> Darin: It farts all the time.

>> Mike: Yeah, farts all the time.

>> Mike: I love Pumbaa.


Monday was Magic Kingdom day, and we rode one of the best rides

>> Mike: The next day was our free day. We just did whatever we wanted to. And then Monday was Magic Kingdom day, and we rode one of the best rides any of us have ever ridden our lives. Tron. The light cycles.

>> Mike: Okay. Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay. You're on a light cycle. Like, it's the light cycle. You're riding it like a motorcycle. You've got your.

>> Darin: You're telling me it's a light.

>> Mike: A light cycle.

>> Darin: A light cycle. It launches on your washing machine.

>> Mike: So. Have you seen Tron Legacy? The movie Tron Legacy?

>> Darin: I fell asleep during it.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I fell asleep during the original Tron. I fell asleep during the sequel of Tron. And I can't wait to see the third one. And I'm telling you, I'm going to fall asleep during that.

>> Mike: So we rode this twice. This was one that we did not have a fast pass for. It Was sold out days before we went. we got to the park as soon as it opened. We practically ran to Tron. And still we had about a half hour wait to get on.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Mike: Wrote it. And then later on in the day, it was about a 75 minute wait. We waited for it, gladly, because it was so freaking awesome. It launches you. You go, you're. You're inside for part of the. The journey. You fly outside over the people waiting in line.

>> Mike: You.

>> Mike: They can see you. You can. You can flip them off, do whatever you want. I wouldn't recommend flying. Flipping them.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Disney, it's a family.

>> Mike: It's a family park. That was probably the highlight of that until we got to the Crystal palace, which is where we had dinner reservations. You may say, mike, what is the Crystal Palace?

>> Darin: Mike, what is the Crystal Palace?

>> Mike: That is where you have dinner with Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and Eeyore. They come around to your table and they talk to you and they get pictures with you. And I'm, just gonna talk to you. They. Well, they. Yeah, so I'm just going to say it right now. Piglet is a. Oh, no. Yes.

>> Darin: Piglet.

>> Mike: Piglet.

>> Darin: I would have predicted Tigger to be the one who.

>> Mike: Tigger was very nice.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Pooh was the nicest poo. Kissed my bald head and patted.

>> Mike: Kiss.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Patted me on that. Pooh seemed to really like me.

>> Darin: Did you rub his tummy full of honey?

>> Mike: I don't.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't know. I'm old enough to know that there's a person in that costume. Right. And I don't know what part of their body his tummy is. I don't want to end up on a watch list anyway.

>> Mike: Hello.

>> Mike: They were as you would expect them to be. Except for Piglet. Pooh was nice. Pooh was kissy and huggy.

>> Mike: Pooh was like me at a concert.

>> Darin: Concert.

>> Mike: Right. Eeyore was just a sad bastard walking around. Well, I guess I'll just picture with you and then I'll go.

>> Darin: Then I'll go out behind the building and kill myself.

>> Mike: Tigger. I mean, the only thing they didn't do would put, like, little white, powder around his nose. He was jacked up and hopping around as he does. Oh, that whole thing.


The other three characters were playing their characters very well, T

And then Piglet's like, yeah, why am I here?

>> Darin: T? I double gutter. So Piglet was not.

>> Mike: I don't want to get Piglet in trouble. I'm just saying the other three characters, were playing their characters very well. Maybe I You know, I'm not the biggest Winnie the Pooh fan.

>> Darin: Piglet's probably some Shakespearean trained actor. He moved to New York to get his big break and just kept getting shot down right after left. And then he is either sell his body for, you know, or do sell drugs.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He's like, I'm going to go to Orlando.

>> Mike: It's going to be a pig.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I've got a friend who said he can get me a job at Disney World. And now I'm. Look at me.

>> Mike: Yeah.


My favorite park has always been Epcot. It opened in 82. Wow. I never knew that

>> Mike: Piglet, the other highlight of the trip. And Bess and I haven't even talked about this. it started raining. If you'll remember, the weather Channel, they said it was going to rain constantly.

>> Darin: Tornadoes and hurricanes.

>> Mike: It did downpour at one point while we were in the Magic Kingdom, and we got stuck under a place where you get ice cream.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: Oh, so that's bad.

>> Mike: Everybody.

>> Darin: Magic band.

>> Mike: Everybody is like, Exactly. Everybody is trying to jockey for position in there to be outside of the rain. I end up with a family.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: That's not my family. And I see another man with my family, and I realize after a few minutes, he's with my family, and I'm with his family. So I start staring at him so I can kind of get his attention. Like, you want to trade places? Because this is weird. You were 10ft away, but I'm taking your spot, and you're in my spot.

>> Darin: Did he not realize that? He was like. Was he, like, a bald guy like yourself? Like, did Bess think she was standing with you?

>> Mike: No. She knew.

>> Mike: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: She knew.

>> Darin: She might have liked being like, I. I need a little break from.

>> Mike: I think he knew because we did make eye contact. And then he looked away really quick.

>> Mike: Huh? Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And that pissed me off a little bit. I'm like. And finally he went over, and then I noticed he had even more family even further away. And he went to them, and then I took his spot, and then he was stuck. He had to go back over to his family.

>> Mike: And he.

>> Mike: His shoulders slumped. Is.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Well, I told you about the time years ago where we went to the water park, and Libby and Jacob went one direction on this gigantic, lazy river. The biggest lazy river ever. They went one direction, and Cameron and I shot off another direction, and we're like, well, I don't know that we're ever going to see them again, because this lazy river was so big, we didn't know where it stopped.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I had no idea how long it lasted or where it stopped. And so, you know me, I'm chatty, chatty, chatty. I'm talking to this guy. I said, crazy thing. I just left my wife and my oldest son, like, 10 minutes ago. I don't know if I'm going to see him again. He goes, lucky.

>> Mike: And.

>> Dave: You are listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: That's solid entertainment.

>> Mike: My favorite park has always been Epcot.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Mike: And we did some math, we did some genealogy, and I figured out that I actually went to Epcot the year that it opened. My parents took me there. it was between first and second grade. It opened in 82. That was perfect time for me.

>> Darin: What's that got to do with math?

>> Mike: Well, I had to do some subtraction with, the old memory and the whole thing. and I was downplaying Epcot a lot to the kids because it can be boring if you're not ready for it. I didn't realize how much they'd added to it. So Epcot's in two sections. It's got the Epcot, the, experimental prototype city of tomorrow.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Mike: That's what Epcot stands for.

>> Darin: I never knew that.

>> Mike: Got the rides and everything. And then you've got the World Showcase. Different.

>> Darin: I remember visiting Canada.

>> Mike: The older you get, the more you want to spend time in the World Showcase and leave the other stuff to everybody else. Andrew was sick that day. He got sick along the trip. So it was just me, Bess and Charlie. Andrew stayed back at the hotel. At the hotel.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: If you're at lunch listening to this podcast, or you're eating dinner or you're near food or children, I recommend if.

>> Darin: You know children who have eaten food.

>> Mike: Yes. I recommend skipping the next ten minutes. you're still here. Here we go. Buckle up.


The best ride of the entire trip was Guardians of the Galaxy

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: The ride for Epcot. And the best ride of the entire trip, Guardians of the Galaxy.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: And I'm not going to describe it to you, and I recommend, if you're ever going to visit Epcot and ride this ride, do not watch any videos about it. It's better if you have no idea what's going to happen. But it is hilarious, exciting. And me and Charlie and Bess. Bess got sick, a little sick on it. We were laughing ourselves silly both times. Me and Charlie wrote it again, and it is great. the only thing I will spoil is that there's music that plays during it, so. So it plays up the whole, Guardians of the Galaxy Star Lord mixtape thing.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: So when the thing actually Goes. It's playing some, like, 80s music. And they.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: One of them was Disco Inferno that we had. What I found out from other people on the ride is that one of the songs you can get is Everybody Wants to Rule the World, which I wish. I wish we would have gotten that. But it blares the music loud as you can get while you're riding this. And it's awesome. So highly recommend riding this ride. We're in line for the ride. We notice.

>> Darin: This is what you're getting at.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: We notice while in line for the ride, we noticed a, gentleman probably 10 to 15ft up ahead, and he's scratching the upper side of his waistband of his pants. We just noticed that because you're in line forever, you run out of things to look at. Right. And you see somebody scratching. And then we noticed he put his hands down his pants. Oh, down within.

>> Mike: Okay. The. The.

>> Mike: And then you can see that you can sit behind. Oh, in the backwards region. And then, you know, you can see the. The indentation or whatever of the hand. You can see the path that it's taking. he went straight betwixt the buttocks.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: Into the, Into the gold mine.

>> Mike: The.

>> Darin: The shaft.

>> Mike: The temperature of Florida was about 95 degrees. And his fingers, where you keep your temperature, 5,000% humidity. I mean, it was practically. You could. Every time you're breathing, you feel like you're drowning. So everyone's sweaty. You've heard the term swamp ass.

>> Darin: I have.

>> Mike: So now at this point, I am very concerned.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: Because rides have things that you hold onto.

>> Mike: That's right.

>> Mike: They have banisters and all these different things. Then we notice that he starts making a sawing motion with his hand up and down betwixt. the line goes around a corner. I am fortunate enough to be in the area where I can still see this person. Charlie and Bess are back around the corner. Charlie's eyes are as wide as that Mickey Mouse cookie I ate the previous two days before. and Bess is mouthing, oh, my God. And then the smell hit us when he pulled his hand out and he put his hand up to his nose. and he started breathing deeply. and I looked over at Bess, and I said, and I quote, oh, my God, he's sniffing his fingers. and Charlie leaned out and looked. And right when he did that, the man began licking his fingers.

>> Darin: No, no.

>> Mike: The line for this ride from this point Forward was about 20 to 30 additional minutes.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And he took all of that time to really explore everything. so it became. The ride then became a different type of thrill ride. It became, we need to, you know, Disney put you in different rooms as you go through the whole thing. We started trying to get as far away from this person as possible. You don't know what he's going to touch. And then it's like we're watching.

>> Darin: He might try to touch you.

>> Mike: Which lane is he going to get in? Which side? There's. There were multiple roller coaster. It's a roller coaster. multiple lanes of that. We don't want to be in the same lane. We don't want to accidentally touch. You don't want to.


Charlie and Andrew went to Star Wars Land on the final day of Disney

Whatever. We were a little annoyed because there were people with this person and why aren't they doing something? Why aren't they saying something? Because we were, like I said, 10 to 15ft behind and we could smell it at that point. And so we. Yeah. Anyway, we get to the point where we're on our ride and Charlie and I both were making absolutely sure we were not on the wrong side of the tracks, as it were.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: We were inhaling deeply to make sure there were no smells near us. We were safe. We were good. So when they.

>> Darin: I thought that kid at Kings island playing the kazoo was annoying.

>> Mike: You gotta wash your hands before you eat at any of these parks, folks. and if you rode that.

>> Darin: That's good advice.

>> Mike: Yeah. Anytime.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: M. I took the wind out of the sails. We go to the final day of Disney.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Which is Hollywood Studios. And all I'll say about that was the Star Wars Rise of Resistance. You have to ride that. It's amazing. It's an 18 to 20 minute Star wars experience. I will say that we went to the cantina. We drank the $20 drinks. Are they worth $20? No. Are the pictures of you drinking the drinks inside the cantina worth $20? No.

>> Darin: Was walrus man in the can?

>> Mike: No. It's not the one from Tatooine. Me and Andrew, when we walked in, we were expected. Nope.

>> Darin: What the hell?

>> Mike: That's exactly.

>> Darin: If I'm going into the cantina, I want somebody to walk up to you, my friend. He doesn't like you.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't like you either. Yeah.

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Darin: And then it's like, yeah, okay. And then I want my, uncle to lightsaber his arm off. Did Han shoot Greedo?

>> Mike: No. Han was nowhere.

>> Darin: I'm not going.

>> Mike: There's a Millennium Falcon ride.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Which is very much worth it at a four to six people, go in at a time. You're piloting the Millennium Falcon.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: It's one of those virtual rides through the asteroids.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: We were in the asteroids. And there's a part where you got it when you go light speed and if you're in the Han seat, you get the reach up and you pull the. And go.

>> Mike: Does it. Do it? Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay, watch this. Watch what?

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: So the first time we wrote it, Andrew was that guy.

>> Darin: Seen Star Wars a couple of times.

>> Mike: And then I did it. It was great. The one thing that stuck out in Star Wars Land is outside. When you see the Millennium Falcon, they have Star wars characters walking around. Okay, Very well done with, they have a Kylo Ren, okay. And the stormtroopers walking around. The stormtroopers hated me. They had like a handler that was saying, stay out of their way.

>> Mike: Huh?

>> Mike: They might take pictures, but don't push it. I asked one if they take a picture, and one of the other ones came up and was like, sir, back off and put his hands up. Like he was gonna throw hands. And then it's in the. Like you see in the movies, that thing, Kylo Ren was just being a jerk.

>> Darin: Does anybody? Anybody?

>> Mike: Nope. Let's move on.

>> Mike: And it happened. It happened again to me. They didn't want to have a picture with me. Andrew asked him if they could take a picture. He looked at Andrew said negative. And it just, you know.


Come on. It's okay. Being in character and all. But come on. We want, we all want to get a picture

Come on.

>> Darin: It's okay. I get it. Being in character and all.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But come on.

>> Mike: So then we, we're. We want, we all want to get a picture.

>> Darin: I bet you the guy who plays Piglet doubles as one of the,

>> Mike: As, a stormtrooper.


There was a guy trying to take a selfie with the Millennium Falcon

Now we're in Disney.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: This is a Disney park.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: Right? There's kids everywhere.

>> Darin: There should be kids.

>> Mike: Yes. Yeah. And there was a Ray.

>> Darin: This is the most magical place on Earth.

>> Mike: You remember Rey. Rey Skywalker or Palpatine, Spoiler, walking around in front of the Millennium Falcon and there was a guy being very loud, trying to get a selfie of him with the Falcon. And then she would walk in front of it and he'd be like, ah, dang, Ray. I don't think she heard him. And then he would wait. He's like, just get out of the friggin picture. Just get up. He's under his breath. And then, then she goes back behind the Falcon and he's like, thank God. And he starts to do the selfie again and she comes out again. He's like, damn it, get out I don't. And then under his breath, and also to me, I was like, I don't want a picture with her in it. I don't want Rey. Rey doesn't belong near the Falcon. I want to picture the Falcon without her.

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Mike: Like, dude, you need to calm down. All the way down. You are in Disney, and that's really not Rey. And I. I hate to spoil this for you. That's not really the Millennium Falcon either.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: we got a picture with Chewy.

>> Darin: My God, it amazes me when you go to these places, like, the people that you meet. And you and I are both people watchers.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: We love watching people. It's why I love airports. The people that you see, you're like, my God, how do they exist in real life?

>> Mike: But they.

>> Darin: Apparently they do.

>> Mike: We did the Tower of Terror. We did the Aerosmith ride. yeah. it was fun. I just. I've done those before. The kids shamed me into doing them again. Like, oh, you haven't really done.

>> Mike: You're.

>> Darin: You forgot that there was an Aerosmith.

>> Mike: Right?

>> Darin: What do they have to do with Disney?

>> Mike: absolutely nothing.

>> Darin: Loving an elevator brought to you by Disney.

>> Mike: So, a highlight of it is we did the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. And I thought the kids would find that really boring, right? Because it's an old man thing. And by the way, Disney do better.


The only Indiana Jones merch is in one Disney store in Hollywood Studios

All right? There used to be an Indiana Jones store, and I have an Indiana Jones mug from that store from, like 10 years ago. And I wanted to get another mug because I'm afraid one of these people I live with is going to break my mug. Guess what? There's no Indiana Jones store anymore.

>> Mike: The.

>> Mike: The only Indiana Jones merch is in one Disney store in the corner of Hollywood Studios. And they put all the indie stuff in a space that's about the size of that bookshelf right there. They had like, two shirts, the leather jacket that no one's gonna buy for $300. A whip. Why are you selling a whip?

>> Darin: You can't sell it. What are you gonna do with a whip at a theme park?

>> Mike: It's an adult size. It's an adult sized whip.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Right. I mean, it's an actual whip.

>> Darin: That's, ah, called a hazard.

>> Mike: I mean, you could say, yeah, cool, I got Indy's whip. But a. No, you don'. It's an actual whip.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: You can't be going around. You can't take a whip on a roller coaster.

>> Mike: And then some dude bought up they had, Indiana Jones action figures which kind of looked cool. It was like a set of them. He bought them all, like $75 sets. Dude bought all the sets. And then he was at the cashier saying, yeah, these are worth tons on ebay. I'm like.

>> Darin: Do you think Disney's trying to throw shade at Indiana Jones?

>> Mike: I just.

>> Darin: Are they trying to separate from him because the last movie didn't do as well as they had hoped?

>> Mike: Or I, wonder.

>> Mike: I don't know. I don't know how much longer the stun show has in it, but I.

>> Darin: Thought it was great since it's like the final Indiana Jones movie.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That they're, they're slowly moving away from it.

>> Mike: So the good news in all this is that at the end of the Indiana Jones, both kids were like, that was awesome. And Charlie was like, is all this in the movie?

>> Mike: I was like, yeah, in the Raiders Lost Ark. This is all in Raiders Lost Ark. She's like, do we have that? I was like, do it.

>> Darin: Do we have that?

>> Mike: Who do you think? What?

>> Darin: I'm, your dad. You've met me, right?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: Ah, we have it. He's like, can we watch that? So he's all excited. He's all on Indiana Jones right now. So I'm excited about that.


We went to Universal and Galaxy's Edge. And then we went to Epic Universe

That was the end of our Disney piece.

>> Darin: Let me ask you about the Star wars thing. And I really. I shouldn't ask this, but was Jar Jar Binks walking around the park?

>> Mike: No. Good.

>> Darin: Thank God there was no. Because I would be the guy. I would be worse than that dude in front of the Millennium Falcon. I'd be the guy who walked right up to Jar Jar Binks.

>> Mike: A bunch of squad and nuts. He was.

>> Darin: I just in the face and then kick him in the nuts and like, shut up.

>> Mike: So it's the Galaxy's Edge portion and I think it was built during the Depression. No, no, the seven, eight and nine. So it's all Kylo Ren and the First Order. And they did a really good. There was a guy that was 8. There was a. Yeah, BB8s there. There was a First Order guy that was barking orders and coming around and just like the redheaded guy. No, no, but kind of like supposed to be like him.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Walking around with stormtroopers and getting into arguments with the kids and it was cute. And the dude, I want to throw a shout out to him, had the Imperial accent the whole thing down and was doing a very good job at being combative with the kids without being overly Insulting. It was fun. So that was the end of our Disney portion. And then we went to the Epic Universe, the new Universal Park. Man. Bess and I talked about it. We really wish we'd gone to Universal first and Disney later because you get four days of the Disney magic, and everyone being polite and bending over backwards. And then you go to Universal where they're like, get all the stuff out of your pockets and walk forward. Welcome to Mario. Yeah, Get. Get the stuff out of your pocket. What's it you stuff in your pockets. Empty your pockets. Put it in the locker. Get over here. Get in line. No, just keep walking. It was. Man, they were just jerks.

>> Darin: I'm so sorry. Because when we went to Universal, we had the experience of a lifetime.

>> Mike: We've been to the Universal and the Islands of Adventure. We've been that before. I thought it was good. I didn't. You know, it was. It was good. But in Epic, I don't know what it was. The worst was the Stardust Racers. And if you're wondering what that is, you look it up. It's. It's basically a steel coaster. Two steel coasters are racing the classic racers at Kings Island. I think there's one at Coney island where two wooden roller coasters are racing. This one is too steel, but they like weave around each other. It's pretty intense. It's the most intense coaster I've ever been on.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Mike: It was actually was a little painful. I think they could have made it stretched out a little bit and it would have been less painful. But my God. They wanted to make sure that nobody had anything in their pockets. They were literally yelling at people. And you had to put things in these lockers that use facial recognition to open.

>> Mike: What?

>> Mike: And there's total recall and they're yelling at you. And you're not supposed to use lockers when there's a red light on the thing. You use them only when there's a green light. You don't know that. You've never used them before. This is new technology. The locker guy was right next to me yelling, red light, red light, red light, red light. I'm like, what?

>> Mike: What?

>> Mike: And they pointed. They said there was a red light on the locker that I was about to use.

>> Mike: Use.

>> Mike: They never. All they had to do was say, don't use a locker with a red light. It was pretty rough.

>> Darin: It was way different at the other Universal.

>> Mike: I'm gonna. I'm gonna chalk it up to it's a new park. The people haven't gone through all the training or whatever it is. The theming was amazing. Mario Land, they had to drag me out of Mario Land. The one that really surprised us was how to train your dragon Land. None of us gave a crap about that, but we all love that land.


There was a Frankenstein ride that broke down in the middle of the final

The. The dark World. They have a dark world. I guess they're going to make a, universe like a, ah, movie universe with Frankenstein and Dracula. So they had that. There. There was a Frankenstein ride. It was great. True to universal form, it broke down in the. While we were in the middle of it. Luckily, we weren't. The group that was hanging upside down, that was just like 20ft over from us for about 10 minutes while they got it back together.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. I would go into full panic.

>> Mike: It stopped in the middle of the final. It's a battle between Frankenstein and Dracula. The climax is Dracula is floating out there. This animatronic Dracula laughing. Blood is shooting out everywhere. It stopped right when we were right next to him. And it's something about watching this animatronic be scary as hell and then just go and go completely limp. And then you hear somebody about 20ft over, what the hell? We're upside down. I started yelling that I had to poop. And it was fun.

>> Darin: And then I'm gonna smell it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: But it was a. It was probably the best ride. It was. Was the best ride in the Dark World. Don't waste your time on the werewolf ride. It's less than 45 seconds long. And we spent an hour and a half in the line with the fast pass to ride it. the people across from us. When we got to the end of the ride, some ladies said, that can't be it. And somebody else was like, no, this is the halfway point. And then we're getting off. And so everybody getting off the ride was. I wondered why everybody looked pissed when they got off it. That was why. The other world is the Harry Potter, which is one ride, three hours in the line. The best part of that ride, and this is nothing against the ride, but the best part of it is the line.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Because you're. It's taking you from out in the open to a, subway.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then you go through a thing that makes it look like you're teleporting. And then it. The walls start closing in on you that by the time you get to the ride, you're not in a tight hallway. It's not like a claustrophobia thing, but it is decidedly closed in.

>> Mike: yeah.

>> Darin: I mean, they need to do something. Because if you're going to be in that line forever, people are going to lose their mind just standing there.

>> Mike: Yeah, it was a fun.

>> Darin: I applaud them for that.

>> Mike: Best karate chopped a girl. What we dealt with, we dealt with line cutters the entire journey. All right. When we were in the Magic Kingdom.

>> Darin: So when it comes to doing that, she didn't leave it up to Charlie.

>> Mike: No, no, no, no. When we were in the Magic Kingdom, there was a woman who sent kids through the line. We watched her do it, waited till they were, like, way up ahead, and then she started chasing after them. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. All the way to the front.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: We watched another group of people do that at another park. fast forward to the Harry potter ride. A three hour wait. @ this point, we're about an hour and a half in, and these two girls are excusing their selves all the way up through. And Bess had to look in her face like, no, I don't think so. And they make it past me. Bess is in front of me. And Bess's arm goes. Comes out. Hiya.

>> Darin: She do the big piggy.

>> Mike: Right on the banister. And she looked over shoulder. She said, you need to wait your turn like everyone else.

>> Darin: Oh, snap.

>> Mike: And then the girls looked at me, and I said, don't look at me. I. What am I gonna do? And they started to cry.

>> Mike: Oh, good.

>> Mike: They said their parents were up ahead. And then the guy behind us said, I think their parents really are up ahead. And now they're crying. And I. So I asked Bess. She moved her arm. She was not happy about it. And we watched them in tears make their way the rest of the way up.


Bess and I saw an alert on highway that matched vehicle description

Bess, was not wrong. She was not wrong. But that probably wasn't the best one to make your stand on, you know what I mean? Karate chopping the little girl in line for the Harry Potter.

>> Darin: How old was it?

>> Mike: But we laughed about it for the entire rest of the trip.

>> Mike: Hey.

>> Mike: We'Re on our way back. You know those highway signs that say missing person and then they give a description?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Mike: Me and Bess both see that, it's describing a vehicle. And then we look up, and the vehicle that matches the description is right in front of us.

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Yes. Serious. The only thing that we weren't sure of was the license plate. But all the other descriptive pieces were right there.

>> Mike: Huh? Uh-huh.

>> Mike: So I was like, what do we do? Do we? What do we. I mean, you called so We. We called the police.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: All right. We figured, we'll call them. And then meanwhile, Bess is trying to get a picture of their license plate. I already had the thing memorized. We get the police on the phone, and I'm like, we're on this road. At the end of the road we're on, and, you know, say, hey, we saw an alert. It's a silver alert vehicle, matches description. We've got the license plate number. We just don't know if this is the right vehicle. And the lady says, well, where are you? We have to describe where we are. And I was like, we're following this car. Our exit is coming up soon. We're about to get off the highway. We just want to know if this is the right car. We decide to continue to follow it because they keep taking forever. So we take the exit with them.

>> Mike: They start slowing down, and I noticed that Bess is like, being very obviously taking a picture. M like, okay. They start going down these different roads. And I'm like, I'm on the phone with them. I'm like, look, we would really like to not be following these people anymore.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Mike: Can you tell us if this is the right car or not? I've given you the license plate number. They transferred us to another police department. They had no idea what we were talking about. We follow this car into a gas station parking lot. They stop. Their windows are down, they're looking at us. And we're trying to go around them. And they back up and try to block our car.

>> Darin: Oh, dear God.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Mike: And multiple people. They do not look happy. So I gun it, out of the parking lot, and I'm. Now I'm going down side streets and all these things, and they're following us. And now we're on the phone with the police, saying, now they're chasing us. Is this the right car or not? And then the lady said, well, do you want to file a report? It's like, oh, my God, you guys have an alert, Right? Just, we've given you the information. Finally, Bess hung up on the police.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: She's like, look, we've given you the information. We've told you where we are. We're getting away from these people. Bye. And hung up on the police. And then we. I used everything that I've ever learned from M. Mike Ehrmantraut of Losing tails, all that stuff. We made it away from them.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And then we did get a call back from the police. We thought, oh, maybe that was the car. and they call us back, and they're like, we just wanted to make sure you don't want to file a report on that car that was chasing you. And I said, look, the only reason that we called you was because of your alert.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: If it was the car, you have the info.


Mike Odle and Darren Cox had a great vacation together

If not, why did it take you so long to tell us?

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So do you want to do a report? No.

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: Hang up. Then we make sure that we lock the doors. We made sure their license plate wasn't facing out in case they got a picture. License plate. Had to convince the kids that we weren't going to die that night. We're closing all the windows.

>> Mike: Huh?

>> Mike: We're still alive.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: Everything's fine. But for the love of it, that's how the vacation ends.

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Mike: It was a, roller coaster ride, literally from beginning to end. Cincinnati's comedy.

>> Darin: What a way to wrap up a vacation. Hey, guys, we're gonna wrap this episode up. Thank you for listening. Mike, I'm glad you had a great vacation. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We want you to go to irritabledadcenter.com if you want to become a patron, you can do that. We want you to go to wherever our videos are. Like, our videos, and share them. and that'll help us out a lot. And we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: How do I plan to top Mike's vacation? I don't.

>> Mike: I'd. Being chased by a serial killer.

>> Darin: That's. That's gonna be hard. Yeah, that's gonna be tough.

>> Mike: Do you want the coordinates of the.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Peanut monument Best. And the kids. Everything is. Is like, you've got to talk. Talk about that on the podcast. Yeah, it's like, this is my show. Mine and Darren's show.

>> Darin: We.

>> Mike: We decide what goes on.

>> Darin: Don't tell me to put it on the podcast.

>> Mike: And then you put it on the podcast.

>> Darin: I could just imagine the kids like this. This woman in the back is mean to me.

>> Mike: She's like, hey.

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: That's horrible. God, that's horrible. That was horrible. but I've never traveled Greyhound, but I would.

>> Mike: Bam, bam, bam, bam.

>> Darin: Every girl's crazy about this arm dress, man.