IDS #269 - The Mouse That Laid Eggs

If all the flavors went away except for one, which would you say should remain

>> Dave: This episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome contains sequences of flashing lights that may affect viewers who are susceptible to photosensitive issues.

>> Mike: Orange is a very underrated flavor. Everybody goes for the red. If all the flavors went away except for one, the fruity candies, which flavor would you say should has to remain?

>> Darin: Grape.

>> Mike: We're related.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: We have to be related. Grape is the right answer.

>> Darin: We are twins, separated at birth by five years.

>> Mike: Cherry gets all the press. Yeah, but nobody gets that excited when they get a cherry candy. Now when they get a grape one. Oh.

>> Darin: Oh. yeah, no, it's great.

>> Mike: I don't even know what a real grape tastes like anymore.

>> Darin: It doesn't taste as good as grape soda.

>> Mike: No. Oh, grapes. I didn't even think about soda. I was thinking about gummy bears and the Lifesavers. But you get a grape. what is that called? The, the fruit of the loom. Grape Fanta.

>> Darin: A grape if you're eating fruit of the loom, which, by the way, when.

>> Mike: I was a kid, musky flavor.

>> Darin: The fruit of the loom. Guys, there's the. The white grape. Yeah. There's the, purple grape.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The apple.

>> Darin: And then I never knew what the hell the thing with all the leaves was because it looked like tobacco.

>> Mike: Was it a pear?

>> Darin: No, it was, figs. I found out later it was figs.

>> Mike: Why would you pick that if you're doing underwear, Why? A banana is right there. It's right there. The jokes write themselves. I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Now from a studio that reeks with Aqua Velva, here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I am Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Since tonight's comedy podcast, this is episode 269.

>> Mike: Welcome to We Are Stupid. Excited for you to be listening to this right now because of many reasons, one of which is the plethora of things that we have to talk about. Why? Darren has a whole list of things that he's written that he wants to talk about. And I have a whole thing that I mentioned in passing when he said, passive aggressively, are you going to do anything for the show tonight? Can you roll out of bed? Can I prop you up in the seat?

>> Darin: I didn't ask like that. I did say, do you have anything for the podcast? And within seconds, nothing. Nothing at all.

>> Mike: But then I remembered how pissed off I got at Kroger. So I have a Kroger rant. Okay, maybe I do, maybe I don't. Because sometimes I get halfway through these stories and I'm like, you could just cut that.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cut out one of my own stories last week.

>> Mike: Did you?

>> Darin: Yeah, it went nowhere. Yeah, there's nothing to it at all. So, And that's the glory, listening to this episode, which you have chosen to. You either downloaded it or you went to irritable dadcenter.com and then found the little yellow triangle on its side and you hit play. And we thank you for listening to this episode with us today.


Mike: One benefit of a podcast that is over 200 episodes is cutting stuff out

Hi.

>> Mike: One of the benefits of a, podcast that is over 200 episodes long is that we have no problem with cutting stuff out now. None. I remember back in the days of the first 50 Lord, we clearly had problems with cutting things out. We have an hour and a half episode, and an hour and 29 minutes of it is. And, the only minute that counted was Dave Lay introducing us. And even he sounded like he didn't really want to be there.

>> Darin: But he's not here.

>> Mike: He's not.

>> Darin: He's home.

>> Mike: Yeah. But now one of us will go off on a 20 minute rant and we'll get to the end of it and it's like, now, cut.

>> Darin: Just.

>> Mike: No, no. There are episodes that have come out, and I am amazed because Darren edits the audio portion of the podcast. And I know for a fact that we have sat in this basement for an hour and a half recording stuff. The episode will come out 38 minutes long.

>> Darin: Yep, yep. I love it. And a lot of the times, honest. God, you would have no idea how much time I save on this podcast by editing out the long, awkward pauses. And neither you or I can talk professionally.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: and then, And I added all of that out. Yeah. And then it sounds like you and I went to Oxford. You and I are like scholars. We speak so eloquently and professionally on the edited version of the podcast. Listen to it live. Sound like we just rolled out of a trailer.

>> Mike: When I listened to the finished product, because I listened to the newest one, most of it newest, today, and I thought, man, I'm really good at this. I know what I'm doing. And sitting here now. Nope, nope, nope.

>> Darin: I'm very happy with this episode because I was out and about with a buddy of mine, this guy named Dan, and I met some people at a concert and they were great. And, I've got good stories from the concert, and there's some things that I forgot to tell last week when I was in Savannah and I fixed something with, I was a very, very manly man. I fixed something, I went to my garage and I pulled out. You know what, Mike? A man knows the right tool for the right job.

>> Mike: He does.

>> Darin: Yeah. And I, ah, fixed something at my house. And I'm going to brag about that.


When we go to Kroger, you like to go to a lane

>> Dave: It's time now for the Kroger story of the week.

>> Mike: I've talked at length, and you and I do not agree on this.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: When we go to Kroger, you like to go to a lane where somebody scans your items for you and someone bags them.

>> Darin: I like to see a cashier and I like to have somebody there bagging for me.

>> Mike: And you actually sometimes like to bag the stuff of other guests.

>> Darin: I've done that before. Yes.

>> Mike: I will go, I will buy. And I did this the other day. I would buy 300 worth of groceries. I will take it to the self checkout. I will deal with all that myself. I enjoy it. I like it. I'm faster than everyone there in doing it.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: That's the way I prefer to go to the K. Rogers. Today I had to stop. I had to get meatballs to make that delightful dish.

>> Darin: It's so good.

>> Mike: And, while I was getting meatballs, I thought, hey, I need some, frosted mini wheats.

>> Darin: I love those. Why can't they frost them on both sides? Right?

>> Mike: And I need a chocolate bar. And I need two pints or quarts of ice cream as one does.

>> Darin: Oh, what kind of, ice cream?

>> Mike: Oh, Tillamook.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Chocolate chip cookie dough cookies and cream. Smack you right in the middle of, huh? Freaking face. And I got a six pack of these. And you're saying, mike, I thought you quit drinking. Monster. And I was like, well, I never really said that. And two, this is a smaller version of it. So I can drink this at 8pm.

>> Darin: That's a smaller one.

>> Mike: That's a smaller one.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: The bigger one is. Looks like, you don't even want to. Anyway, I go to the area with the self checkouts. Well, they have carts blocking them. The only self checkout that is available is the one that has a little conveyor that sends the stuff down and you have to go over and bag.

>> Darin: Yes. I hate that.

>> Mike: I hate it because now all my stuff is down there.

>> Darin: If you put two much stuff on it, it starts bringing it back to you. Okay. Okay. And then it will say, put your thing on the conveyor. I was like, I Put my thing on the conveyor.

>> Mike: I like to place items in the proper bag as I'm doing it, item by item. That's how I exhibit control over that part of my life.

>> Darin: That's the only thing you have control of.

>> Mike: So I now, now I'm rushed because I go down there and some Gen Z, some five year old, I don't know what she is. We talked previously. I can't tell ages. Anybody under 30 is a baby.

>> Darin: Well, I don't see age.

>> Mike: So I'm down there and I'm bagging my stuff. And the yogurt, I got yogurt, it popped apart because the thing is putting all the stuff together, running into each other.

>> Darin: It's a wreaking habit.

>> Mike: Yogurt, little four yogurt pack. One of them pops out. So now I have to put that back in. And I can hear nay since Ace M somebody's sign. I a. I'm dealing with a boomer sigh.

>> Darin: Oh, I'm.

>> Mike: First of all, I'm not a boomer.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: I'm Gen X. So put your boomer side back in your face and get out your Gen Xi.

>> Darin: Am I Gen X? I was born in your Gen X. Okay. Yeah, yeah, Good.

>> Mike: So we're not boomers. We gave you Pearl Jam.

>> Darin: It's that. That's right. Yep.


Christopher Cross: Kroger has introduced a new self checkout system

>> Mike: So I'm down there packaging my stuff. Now I feel rushed.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So I'm just slamming stuff all willy nilly. I'm putting the yogurt with the chocolate bar. I'm putting the ice cream with the meatballs. Cats and dogs are living together. It's. It's chaos down there and I'm all pissed off and freaked out. and then that's the state that I've been in since Kroger ruined this episode of this podcast.

>> Darin: Way to go, Kroger. No, I hate the conveyor belt. If you have five things, six things. Yeah. Put it on the conveyor belt, it'll all run down. If you've got more than that, it will start backing up. Yeah, it brings it up to you.

>> Mike: Whatever you do, don't put your meat on the conveyor belt. No, that's just asking for trouble.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And a rash.

>> Darin: Groceries are expensive. Have you noticed that groceries are expensive?

>> Mike: I bought like five items and it was $4,000.

>> Darin: And that was with your reward points.

>> Mike: They've got a new option. do you want to have a co signer? You have to. It's nuts.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's ridiculous.

>> Mike: Not even that the food that we buy is not even that good.

>> Darin: But I'm sorry, if you're. If you're buying it, if you're paying for it, which is the same thing, somebody should be there to your bag and somebody should be there to ring it up for you.

>> Mike: I don't want anybody touching my food.

>> Darin: Because when I go stuffs. When I go through the. Not the conveyor belt, but the self checkout. And there's always something that you scan it and then this is. Assistance is coming. And the person who's coming could not be less thrilled to come over. Like, hey, I was really enjoying standing there by myself alone. Like looking. These people are. They should be lifeguards in the summer because all they do is just stand there and they look here, they look there, they look at this, look at that. Ain't nobody drowned in. I don't have to do nothing.

>> Mike: Yeah. And I'm nothing if not a classy individual.

>> Darin: Where.

>> Mike: When I'm buying my boxed wine.

>> Darin: You reek class.

>> Mike: Now I have to wait because it does a little thing. We need to make sure that this person is over 21. They always have the youngest person working at the store in that spot. It's like, excuse me, I need to go get the. And then they have to go get somebody. And then m. Ethel comes over, doesn't even look at me. Uh-huh. Dang it.

>> Darin: The last time or one of the last times I was at Kroger, I bought a four pack of bottled cheer wine. It's a soda. It's cheer wine. Okay. It's.

>> Mike: It has wine right in the name.

>> Darin: So good. And so the cashier, this 11 year old, looks at it and looks at me and said, is this wine? Dude, why are you asking me? I'm the shopper. I'm not the customer here. Yeah. You know, like, if. If it was alcohol, I could easily say, no, that's not alcohol. And it's like, but one. No, it's soda. But this kid wanted to know if he needs to get somebody else to come and scan it.

>> Mike: Like asking you to be a consultant.

>> Darin: Yeah. And I got learn a couple of things.

>> Dave: This has been the Kroger story of the week.

>> Darin: I went to a concert. I went with my buddy Dan. Last year, Dan and I, we went to see Sammy Hagar and Lover Boy. And we had so much fun. And we said, you know what? We ought to try going to. We're gonna try and go to a concert a year. I was like, okay. Or more. Right?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so I asked Dan, I said, would you want to go See Toto, Men at work and Christopher Cross. Okay, okay. And he's like, well, you know what? Dan used to be in a band back in the day.


Darren: This was the most non concert T shirt wearing crowd I've seen

He's a drummer. He had the double kick drum. He played speed metal. The name of the band was Psycho. Okay. Which is a great name for a heavy metal band. And he said, well, Darren, normally this isn't the type of show that I would go to, but I do know and familiar with the music of Toto and Minute Work and. Yeah. And I wanted to go because I wanted to see Christopher Cross.

>> Mike: I see. That's what I would want to see. Did they do that?

>> Darin: Yeah, the, the Arthur theme. Yeah.

>> Mike: Did you guys hold hands?

>> Darin: And we did. We swayed. We didn't hold hands, but we did sway. Okay. And there were people in the audience who had on their white captain hats because it's yacht rock. Okay. okay. yeah.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: I knew there was going to be some. There weren't a lot. This. Of all the concerts I've been to, and I've been to a lot of concerts, this one was the most non concert T shirt wearing crowd that I've ever been to.

>> Mike: They all like nice buttons up.

>> Darin: Button up. Yes. A lot of, a lot of knit shirts, a lot of, tucked in polos, a lot of khakis and belts and that type of thing. There were. I would say the number of people wearing a concert shirt was probably less than 10%. Yeah. And so I'm getting ready to go and what shirt did I wear? Master of puppets. Metallica, of course. And Libby, she said, you're wearing a Master of puppet shirt. You're wearing Metallica to Christopher Cross. Yes, I am. Yeah. And you would not believe how many people said, dude, I love the shirt. Very popular. So we're there and we're getting ready to see the thing. Minute work, start the show. Colin Hay. And I've seen Colin Hay before solo, and he was just him with an acoustic guitar about a two hour show. And he would tell a story about how he wrote this song and then he would play the song. And I didn't know that it was going to be a lot of storytelling. And I remember leaning over to Libby, I'm like, is he gonna talk this much, like all night? Turns out he's incredibly entertaining and his stories were very amusing and insightful and, and it's one of the best shows that I've ever seen. So I was excited to see, Colin Hay again. I've never seen him with men at work.

>> Mike: So I'LL interrupt. when Bess and I saw Billy Joel, we were surprised at how often he was talking to the crowd and telling stories.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And it was great.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: He's a legitimately naturally funny person.

>> Darin: Yes. So, you know who else is James Taylor? Okay. You would be amazed at how funny James Taylor is. James Taylor can tell a story and have you almost in tears. how dry he is. So, anyway, Minute Work were fantastic. The woman playing saxophone for him was insane. She was absolutely amazing. And he only played, like, eight songs. They were all Minute Work songs. But he did Overkill. Who Can It Be Now, Land down under, and then the other five. You know, unless you, had their albums, you may have not been familiar with the other ones, but they were all good songs.


Mr. Carlson: I don't take dictation. Like to dictate a press release

Okay, then, we have a break. I went to, went to get something to drink, and I'm coming back, and I get a text, and I look, and I found out that Lonnie Anderson died. Baby, if you've ever wondered. Wondered whatever became of me, I'm,

>> Mike: Living on the air in Cincinnati. Cincinnati.

>> Darin: W. W, K. R. p. You want me, Mr. Carlson? Oh, yeah. Come in, Jennifer. Have a seat. No, thank you. All right.

>> Mike: This particular point in time, I would.

>> Darin: Like to dictate a press release. I don't take dictation. What? Oh, all right.

>> Mike: I guess I can do this thing myself.

>> Darin: It's probably going to be a long meeting, though, so why don't you get.

>> Mike: Coffee for all the guys here?

>> Darin: I don't get coffee. Mr. Carlson, we agree you have to draw the line somewhere. Will there be anything else I can do?

>> Mike: No, I think about that.

>> Darin: Thank you.


Lonnie Anderson from WKRP died at 79 years old

Lonnie Anderson from WKRP. She was 79 years old. She played Jennifer Marlowe on WKRP. And I've mentioned this on the show so many times. WKRP is one of my favorite shows of all time. Absolute. And so I'm like, oh, my God. And I looked at Dan, said, what's going on? I said, lonnie Anderson died. And the people behind us on the lawn, we what? And this guy stands up and comes over to me.

>> Mike: You're kidding.

>> Darin: Like, no. No, I'm not. He goes, oh, man, Lonnie was beautiful. Lonnie was great. WKRP was great show. And he's got on, like, this black, like some union, like, oil rig workers or some. Yeah, this guy's a badass. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. This guy you would not expect to see at a Christopher Cross concert. Right. You'd think that he would be, At a bar.

>> Mike: Rigging oils at a bar.

>> Darin: Fighting people for, you know, playing a dollar a ball at the, billboard table. Yeah.

>> Mike: Billiards table.

>> Darin: Billiards table. Thank you. You got through it, Conan. We really want to be on your show. We're professional podcast. So he's like a saw trap. Exactly. But he was all shaken up about Lonnie Anderson, and he.

>> Mike: She was with, Bert Reynolds.

>> Darin: She was with Bert Reynolds. That's what he said. He says, man, Burt Reynolds did her wrong when he cheated on her with Sally Field. And I was like, I. I think Sally Field came before Lonnie Anderson, like, a long time before. And he's like, those are just details, you know? And so we're. We're chatting with him. What do you guys do? And Dan's talking about his job, and then I was talking about my job doing classic TV promotions. And he's like, oh, man, that's badass. And he's like, I'm a firefighter and dumb something. So he was a lot of fun. The people he was with, it was like a double date. And they said, hey, will you take our picture? And I said, gladly. And I got down and I took a really good. Of the four of them. I didn't take it from, a mile away like most people do when you ask to have your picture taken. So they're like, great picture. And so it was great.


Christopher Cross is great. His band sounds amazing. His background singers sound amazing

And, so we're talking to them, and then Christopher Cross comes on. Christopher Cross is great. He does, all his hits that, you know. His band sounds amazing. His background singers sound amazing. He looks the same. Looks exactly the same as he's always looked. Okay, so he finishes sailing, and everyone's clapping. The fire. Fire guy behind us leans over to Dan and says, hey, Maude. Maude was. Remember Maude? What was her character's name on, Golden Girls? And Dan says, I don't know. And I leaned over and said, it's Dorothy. There was Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia. And he goes, blanche? Blanche was the whore. I said, yes, yes, Blanche was the whore. And then Christopher Cross starts his next song, and he's. And this guy's like, yeah, Blanche was a real whore. And I'm like, that's. That's great. I'm gonna.

>> Mike: She was a whores whore.

>> Darin: Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna watch Christopher Cross. Yeah. I mean, I told him that I was the one who worked in classic tv. And then he asked Dan which one on, the Golden Girls was the whore.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I thought that was kind of odd. Yeah. Toto, come on. Okay. M. Holy crap. Toto were great. Now, there's a guy in Toto, Steve Lukather. He is the only original member still touring with the band. This guy has played that. I think Toto had 13 or 14 albums.

>> Mike: They did the soundtrack to Dune, the one with Kyle McLachlan.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah, that's right. They did 99 and hold the Line. Their second song was Rosanna.

>> Mike: They really like swords.

>> Darin: That's. Yes, they do. There's a sword on every album. I believe so. So their second song was Rosanna, and Rosanna really could have been their finale because they killed Steve Lukather. I didn't know he could shred. That he could play the guitar as amazing as he could play it. And he was just destroying the place.

>> Mike: They're progressive.

>> Darin: Yeah. You call them pro. Well, that. You could call them progress. You could also call them part of the yacht rock movement.

>> Mike: Prague guys can shred.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: when you unleash them. I mean, they don't normally do it on albums, but. Yeah, Rush was like that live. They would just go.

>> Darin: Yeah, like, what are you.

>> Mike: What did they give you before you went out on stage?

>> Darin: Yeah. There were a lot of songs that Toto played that I hadn't heard. I mean, they did all the hits.

>> Mike: They did working in Nicole.

>> Darin: No, they did not do. That was Devo. They. Their next to last song was hold the Line. Okay. which was incredible. And then they closed with Africa.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. And the place went crazy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Nobody was sitting down. Everybody was dancing and singing and screaming and hooting and hollering. There was hooting and hollering. Both of them. Yes. Christopher Cross came back out and Colin Hay and all the background singers from Minute Work and Christopher Cross. And they all gathered around, and we were swaying and holding hands. It was a movement.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.


All praise to Christopher Cross. It was a good show. They sounded great. The drummer sounded amazing. And, uh, the keyboardist and

>> Darin: And Colin Hay was singing, the verse, you know, for Africa. And like I said, Steve is the only touring member in the group. I don't know who the other guys were, how long they'd been there. They were tight. They sounded great. The drummer sounded amazing. And, the keyboardist and everything was. It was a good show. It was a really good show.

>> Mike: Did you get a turtle?

>> Darin: I did not buy a Toto shirt. They had the green Christopher Cross shirts that had the, flamingo on it. Okay. And I didn't buy one. All praise to Christopher Cross. And after the show is over with the firefighter guy, because he didn't do jump And I was just like, we did that. We did that two weeks ago. So, yeah.

>> Mike: Did he laugh at his own joke?

>> Darin: Oh, he was laughing at his jokes all night.


Dave Ley: We interrupt this program for an important announcement

>> Dave: We interrupt this program for an important announcement. I'm Dave Ley and I have something to say to you people who buy generic brand cereal your children hate. Please stop. Seriously, it's not going to kill you to spend an extra 48 cents on the real thing. Okay, this has been an important announcement.

>> Darin: Libby had a great idea. She said, hey, do you guys want to go kayaking? we haven't been kayaking in years. I know the kids went with a band thing one time, and I think they went with. Back when they used to go to kids or kids forever ago, in daycare. So we decided to go kayaking. It was like a three mile kayak down the Little Miami river. We went on the most beautiful day you could possibly go kayaking. The river was cool. And, you know, we got all our sunscreen on. We're going down the Little Miami river and we're looking for turtles. Or I kept telling the kids to look for alligators. And he's. He's kidding, right? Right. Yeah. And mom's like, I don't know. Yeah. So we're going down and we run into some other people. We've got turned around. And then at one point the boys got out and we're playing and swimming and stuff and Is beautiful. But anyway, we're going down in our kayaks and this guy tries, he's passing us and. Hey, how's it going? We're good. How are you? Great, great, great.

>> Mike: Was he passing on the left or the right?

>> Darin: He was passing on the left. Okay. Like you're supposed to do. This is America. And so he passes us and the guy starts talking to Jacob about how he likes to kayak. He also likes to go golfing and he likes to do something else. And then he said, he was getting ready to go golfing and he was driving. He was on the interstate and traffic is getting pretty bad. And he's behind an ambulance. And he noticed on the back of the ambulance they had one of those little coolers. Okay, okay, look, the little small cooler. Yeah. And he said it was on the back of the ambulance, like on the bumper. And he says, trying to figure out how is it staying on there and not falling off. And he says, just as soon as I said that, the cooler fell off. And I thought, there's, it's an ambulance. There's got to be something in the cooler.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Of importance.

>> Mike: Like a spleen or something.

>> Darin: Well, who know, right? A heart.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So he got out and grabbed the cooler and opened, it up, and there was a toe in it. And he's like, this doesn't make any sense. Yeah. and he's like, you know, I didn't know what to do. And then Libby said, go to the pawn shop. Libby said, I get your tow. Libby said, did you follow the ambulance? He says, no, I called a tow truck.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: And I'm like, libby, you really didn't see that one. You didn't see that one coming from a mile away. And he's just, ha ha ha ha. Loving it. And then Lou's like, okay. That's pretty good. You got me. You got me on that one. He called a tow truck. Yeah.

>> Mike: Now you're stuck on the river with this guy.

>> Darin: We let him pass.

>> Mike: Oh.


Last week I mentioned that we went to Hilton Head and we also went to Savannah

>> Darin: Last week I mentioned that we went to Hilton Head, and we also went to Savannah. And while we were in Savannah, we went on the Savannah for Mor tour. And my favorite part of the story. And I do this a lot, I will go into a story with the intention of telling my favorite part of the story, and I'll get distracted. I'll get wrapped up. I'll get excited. You will bring up something that's funny, and I'll get off topic. Yeah. So while we were on this Savannah for Morons tour, Danny with an eye, the woman. Yeah. Was, saying that there was a part of town that you can get in, and it used to be really kind of seedy. And she says there's a lot of places here where you get little drinky drinky, little humpy humpy, little stabby stabby.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Just so you know, this place is no longer drinky, drinky, humpy, humpy stabby stabby. It's pretty cleaned up, and for the rest of the week, Libby and I are like, you want to get a little drinky drinky, little humpy humpy, little stabby stabby? Yeah. But I want to say again, if you go to Savannah, you have to take the Savannah for Morons tour. It wasn't that expensive, and it was worth every single dime.


Old Cincinnati comedian cuts himself shaving his head, currently bleeding

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by Blockbuster Video.

>> Mike: I don't want to alarm anyone, but I'm currently bleeding.

>> Darin: Oh. What did you do?

>> Mike: I cut myself shaving my head. I get in a hurry.

>> Darin: Yeah, I just.

>> Mike: I. You know, you ever. Haven't you, like, nick it and you're not sure if you nicked it or not?

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: And then you reach back there and it's like.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, I sure did. Yeah. It's the hardest part when I. When I shave with the. With the old straight, razor or whatever is behind the ear.

>> Mike: Yeah. There's a.

>> Darin: There's a little bump behind the ear. Yeah. The Old Cincinnati's comedy podcast folks. But yeah. Do you use Barbasol?

>> Mike: I use.

>> Darin: What type of shave?

>> Mike: If I'm. Sometimes I shave in front of the sink, Sometimes I shave in the shower.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: If I'm shaving in front of the sink, I do like Barbasol. I like. It's the big old old Fashioned. It's like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

>> Darin: Like shaving marshmallow cream.

>> Mike: It feels nice to put it up. It's like. It's kind like a bonus. It's like you don't have any hair, but you get to do this.

>> Darin: Especially if you use the menthol. Yeah. And then.

>> Mike: Then you get Little tingly.

>> Darin: Little tingly on your head. Yeah. Hello.

>> Mike: But if I'm in the shower, I rub the old Irish Spring and I just like bareback. It,

>> Darin: Doesn't that. Doesn't that dry out your scalp? Maybe that's my problem. I would think that would do that.

>> Mike: It might.

>> Darin: Then I don't shave in the shower because I can't see what I'm doing by feel. Yeah. But then you end up being in the shower for 90 minutes.

>> Mike: Well, you get used to it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I tell you one thing you should never buy.

>> Darin: What's that?

>> Mike: The head blade.

>> Darin: Oh, you told me about that one.

>> Mike: They're like Matchbox cars with a knife hanging off of them. They're crazy because you get used to. You like. Oh, yeah. And all the commercials on the YouTubes and whatever show the dude going, huh? You do that and you're tearing ribbons of your.

>> Darin: That's right. Your whole ear comes off.

>> Mike: It's all fun and games until your nose goes right down there in the sink.

>> Darin: Now, why are you shaving off your nose?

>> Mike: Well, you get excited.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: These things don't have breaks.

>> Darin: speaking of.


A guy asks Jacob if he can use his drum for a show

Speaking of head, a couple of months ago, Jacob did a show. He was performing with his band, and the. Some of the other people said, hey, can we use your drum as the house kit? Meaning that Dream Flood, Jacob's band would go on first, and then the next two bands would just use his kit. And Jacob said, okay. And he was cool with them doing that. Well, one of the other drummers that night busted a drum Head. Okay.

>> Mike: And what you get for being a nice guy?

>> Darin: And Jacob wasn't too happy about it, but he says, I'm going to need you to pay for that. And the guy says, absolutely, I will pay for that. So I was concerned. I didn't think that the guy would. But the guy did. So the guy calls up Jacob and. Or texts him. They don't call each other anymore. Have you noticed that they. Nobody. Kids don't talk on the phone. All they do is they talk and they, they FaceTime and they do something else. They instant. Great. No, no, no. They, Do they still Snapchat? Do the kids still Snapchat? Chitter chatter so this guy said, I've got your money. Do you have PayPal? And Jacob says, no. And the guy says, do you have Venmo? And Jacob said, no. And then Libby says, I have Venmo. He says, oh, okay. So he says, here, Venmo the money to my mom. The guy says, sure. Jacob didn't, you know, let Libby know when the payment was coming in. so just out of nowhere, Libby gets this look on her face. She's sitting at the couch. She goes, huh? I said, what's wrong? She goes, somebody just venmoed me 20 bucks. And it says, head. My question is, what the hell? She's like, I think they might have the wrong number. I thought about for a minute. I'm like, I think it's the guy.

>> Mike: Throw in an adjective at least.

>> Darin: Yes. Yes. Drum head. Yeah.

>> Mike: Or good head.

>> Darin: Something. The look of confusion on her face.

>> Mike: Busted head.

>> Darin: Yeah. Busted head. Yes. A couple of weeks ago, we were on Greetings from the Idiot Box with Alison Lips. Mike and I, we went. We were invited on her show. I don't know why she keeps inviting us on her show. We break of the three times we've been on there, we broke her show twice.

>> Mike: I made it 20 minutes before she directly asked me if I'd even watched the show.

>> Darin: Called you out. We were invited to talk about the Paul Rubens documentary on hbo.

>> Mike: Max, I do want to watch that.

>> Darin: And I said, mike, you know, do you want to go on there and talk about. He says, absolutely. I said, are you going to watch the documentary? Yes, I am. Did you watch it? No. You didn't? Nope. And so you were like the king of bull. You.

>> Mike: I mean, pretty. Well.

>> Darin: She was like, I really like this part, Mike. What did you think? Think about this part. And you're like, well, I mean, you know, Laurence, Fishburne is so great as cowboy Curtis. Oh, yeah, you're just. You were just talking about everything you knew about Pee Wee Herman.

>> Mike: I know enough about Pee Wee Herman. But she get by in most conversations.

>> Darin: She finally point blank asked you, what did you think about when he did that? And you're like, ah. did you even watch it? Yeah. Yeah. One thing I didn't realize was early Peewee was very involved with the punk scene in California.


Mike: I'm trying to fix a hose that's leaking water

Oh, yeah. Didn't you watch this, Mike?

>> Mike: I was. No, I didn't watch it.

>> Darin: I haven't have it.

>> Mike: Seen a frame of it.

>> Darin: Like, how long is. How long can you go? How long can you.

>> Mike: I got called out.

>> Darin: My favorite scene was.

>> Mike: I did well there. I did well on that one.

>> Darin: Cowboy Curtis.

>> Mike: I do like Cowboy Curtis.

>> Darin: Yeah, Mike didn't see it.

>> Mike: I. I will. You guys make it sound great.

>> Darin: I'm sorry, but I was about to die when you were telling me what your favorite scene was.

>> Mike: There's a talking green chair.

>> Darin: It was just like you in. In high school on book report day. Yeah. I thought that was very non specific, but I just let it go. Mike hasn't read the book at all. And he's like, so, I really like this book. Especially on page.

>> Mike: I did so.

>> Darin: He's like, the picture of Dorian Gray. It's about Dorian Gray.

>> Mike: I wrote a book, report on Moby Dick. I've never read the book. I got an A. I did really well.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's about a whale, right? I mean, yeah, there's symbolism and stuff, but this is high school.

>> Darin: Who cares? Symbolism and stuff. Yeah.

>> Mike: You may not believe this. I believe if I'd had the energy, I could have kept that up through the entire episode.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I think what you heard was, I was just running out of gas.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I just didn't have it in me anymore.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It was kind of like I felt like I was kicking a wounded animal.

>> Darin: Well, she asked you something very specific. You finally just. You got me. I didn't watch it.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: Are you threatening me? You will give me tv. I'm out in the yard, and I noticed that when, we had people come out to the house and they replaced our deck, and then they replaced the concrete on our back patio. And I went out and I had, I think, four extensions of hose all rolled up together. Okay. All connected together. And, I never could get them connected right to where it wouldn't spray in the middle. And you've got to have a tight connection if you want to use a power washer, right? So I'm out there messing with my hose, trying to get it, and I bought some more of those little washers, those little rubber things that go in between O rings. O rings? Yeah, I bought some O rings. And I'm trying to get my hose to where it doesn't, you know, spray water everywhere from connection to the house all the way through. And it got to where I could not put the. I, bought one of those new spray guns. The. At the head of the hose. I could not get it to go onto the. The hose. I'm like, why the hell won't it fit on there? And I did some investigation. I did some research. I noticed that the metal part that had connected the male part that had went into the female part of the spray gun detachment had busted off. Okay, how does that happen? I have no idea. Improper lube and sitting. So I'm trying to get this metal part unscrewed from the spray gun part. And this is where I. I told you the. A man knows the right tool for the right job. I went into my tool bag that Chris Michael gave me, and I found a pair of needle nose pliers. I wretched down in there and I got it and I unscrewed and I pulled that metal, chunk out. And then I attached the spray gun to the top of the hose. You would have thought I was MacGyver. Honestly. I was like, levy, I said, look what I did. I'm a man. I attached the, sprayer to the hose and look at that seal.


I'm showing my neighbors what I did with the hose

And it doesn't spray. And I'm showing my neighbor Gary, and I'm showing my neighbor Chris. Look. Look what I did with the hose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parade. I'm surprised they didn't put me in the area periodicals. And, you know, it's like on the news.


Nick: No more mice have been caught in my garage this week

>> Mike: So you touched on a thing.

>> Darin: I was very proud of myself.

>> Mike: That straight up pisses me off.

>> Darin: What's that?

>> Mike: O rings. It's a rubber ring, right? That's meant to create a seal. Call it a rubber. O and ring are the same thing.

>> Darin: Like, right.

>> Mike: You're calling it an O because it's an O shape. Ring is in an O shape.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Call it a rubber ring or an O rubber.

>> Darin: You know, call it an O rubber.

>> Mike: That's what drives me nuts.

>> Darin: That's what the Irish wear.

>> Mike: So I think everybody knows I'm an engineer or I went to school for engineering.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: And it drives.

>> Darin: You are an engineer.

>> Mike: You learn the Names for parts. But then you get out in the field and there's all these, like, Nick. Names for parts.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: You know, so it's like bringing, that, bag of ferret nuts over here.

>> Darin: Like I put ferret nuts. Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Give me some of them mouse peckers. Like, I don't know what the hell these things are.

>> Darin: Take another drink of the monster.

>> Mike: You can cut that out.

>> Darin: I think you're losing.

>> Mike: Wants to hear about, Mouse Nuts Mountain.

>> Darin: By the way, speaking of mice, I've no more mice have been caught in my garage this week. That doesn't mean they're not there. But no more mice have been caught.

>> Mike: You know, if you find one, there's.

>> Darin: Got to be a hundred thousands. Yes. There's a nest. There's an army. They're going to attack me and kill me in my sleep. Yeah. They're going to steal, all my cookies. They're going to clog the pipes. They're going to run up my power bill. They're going to hack into my credit cards. They're going to steal my identity. Jacob and I had an adventure a couple of weeks ago. Libby's Kia needed an oil change.

>> Mike: And, you know, they drink the oil.

>> Darin: They drink the oil, absolutely. Yeah. And we needed to do it before we went on vacation. And they called, and I do it at the dealership because we, we purchased the plan with the car. And you get so many free oil changes because people are like, how come you don't just take it to Carx? Because we've already got the free thing at the thing. So I was gonna go in the morning and drop the car off.

>> Mike: Usually I can keep my composure when.

>> Darin: Stump throws something out, but that was okay.


Steve says mice need to make sure you kill their eggs before they hatch

Back to the mice.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: My buddy, Stump Woodley, he and I are. We've known each other for how long? We know each other close to 30 years. And we're on Facebook all the time. And we were talking about mice with, We've got these mutual friends, Carol and Amy. They're twins, and they're afraid of mice. Just deadly afraid of mice. And Steve was saying one day that mice, you need to make sure that you, that you get their nest and that you kill their eggs before they hatch. And they believed him. And this isn't the first time he's talked about something that lays eggs that doesn't lay eggs. Because he was talking about possums. Possum eggs. You got to make sure that you get near the nest and get where the possums Lay their eggs, and if you can move the nest, then you can move the possums out of the yard. And they believed him because he went on Google Images and typed possum egg, and he found a shot of a possum stealing an egg, had an egg in its mouth. These ladies probably still believe that possums lay eggs.

>> Mike: They've probably gotten into at least one argument with another human being.

>> Darin: And this is fun, too, because when we talk about spiders with Carol and Amy, we mentioned that I often say that you got to look under the toilet seat, because spiders love to live, underneath toilet seats. And they also go into the inside of shoes in your closet where it's warmest. They're like, darren, stop it. Shut up.


I had to take Libby's Kia in for an oil change

Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, I had to take Libby's Kia in for an oil change.

>> Mike: You know, they really drink.

>> Darin: They drink the oil? They absolutely drink the oil. So, we take it to our Kia dealership because we bought a plan there, and you get eight free oil changers or something like that. So. And I was gonna drop it off in the morning, but Jacob had to go to school and Libby had to take my car and go downtown. And I didn't have a way to do it. So I'm like, okay, let's just do it. And at night. You can drop the car off at night and put your keys in the Dropbox and everything will be great. So I said, jacob, can you follow me out to the Kia dealership and we're going to drop the car off tonight? And he said, okay. So he's in his car, I'm in the Kia, and the light turns yellow. And I went through it really thinking that there was enough room. And Jacob was right behind me, but.

>> Mike: He could make it.

>> Darin: Jacob actually stopped at the yellow light. Okay. And I was, like, partly pissed and partly proud of him because you're supposed to stop at a yellow light. Yeah. So I called him and I said, what, do you want me to pull over? Wait, no, no, dad, I'll put the address in. Where am I going? I said, we're going to the one on, Route 4 in Fairfield. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. He says, okay, Route 4. Okay, yeah, whatever. So, okay, so I'm driving and I get to the Kia dealership, and it's like 10 o' clock at night, and they've got the place blocked off. There's a big gate that's been lowered, so snipers. There's cars that parked in front of it. And I'm like, how am I Supposed to get to where I park the car. This isn't right. Maybe I can go around the other side. So I back up and I drive around, and I try to get to the other side of the dealership. And then I'm completely blocked in by cars, and I can't turn around, but I have to back out through, like, 30 or 40 parked cars. And then I just pulled off, and I walked over to see if there's anybody in the building. There's got to be somebody there. And sure enough, there was. There was a guy in there vacuuming. I said, I need to drop my car off for an oil change, but I can't pull it up to the building because it's blocked off. And he said, park it in front of the. There's a Kia Nissan and a Kia Cadillac. Or, no, there's a Jeff Weiler Kia and a Jeff Weiler Nissan and a Jeff Wilder Cadillac. Yeah, pull it in front of the Cadillac place and park it there, and then bring your keys up. I said, okay. So I'm doing that. Jacob's still not there yet. I'm like, okay. I mean, you know, I wasn't there that long. Yeah. But I thought maybe he took a different way, because he does that a lot. These kids today always take in different directions. So I pull the car in front of the Cadillac dealership, and then I walk the however. Like the walkway, however long it takes you to get to the building. And I'm filling up the thing. I don't know Libby's license plate number. So I walk back to Libby's car, get the license plate number, walk back up, put the thing in, put it in the envelope, and drop it in the Dropbox. And I walk back. Jacob's still not there. I get on my phone, I look on. We have the Life360 app. Do you have Life360 app?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: If you have the Life360, but we.

>> Mike: Have the Google, I can see where Oklahoma's phone is.

>> Darin: Yeah. I got on the Life360 app. Jacob is downtown Cincinnati.

>> Mike: Holy Lord.

>> Darin: I, called him. Jacob, what are you doing? Dad, I'm almost there. I said, no, no, you're not. You're not. No. he punched in the number for a key dealership downtown. He did not hear me say the address of where I went. And he went to the one. I'm like, oh, my God. So he's downtown. Okay. Actually, he was actually past downtown, almost into Kentucky.

>> Mike: Oh, my God. At least a half hour away.

>> Darin: I said, 40 minutes okay. I said, buddy. Okay. yeah, you've went to the wrong place. This is where I am. He pulls off, gets the right address, pushes it in, I'm on my way. And I knew that at best, it's gonna be 40 minutes. Yeah, at best.

>> Mike: At best.


Mike Odle Darren Cox was loitering outside a Kia dealership

>> Darin: So he's driving back, gets stuck behind an accident. Long story short, I am standing in this parking lot until 11:30. I would be.

>> Mike: So just.

>> Darin: Just standing there, I thought, well, I could walk over here and get a. no, that's closed.

>> Mike: Did you go through the five stages of grief? Like denial, like he's not really there.

>> Darin: Somebody has stolen his.

>> Mike: What the hell? How you. Acceptance.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Bargaining. Maybe he's not there. Maybe he is.

>> Darin: I called Libby to tell her, you know, what was going on, where I was, but she had already fallen asleep. and at, that point you just walked home? I. I could have. Yeah, I. Well, I could have gotten about halfway. You know, I'm an old man now, but my phone only had like 20%, so, I mean, I could only watch so much TikTok. Okay. I could only play a few games on there before I completely ran my battery down. but Jacob eventually got there and boy, we had a laugh about it when he. Oh, yeah, he felt horrible. Like, God damn, I'm so sorry. I'm like, it's okay, man. Yeah. Then I'm standing there in this parking lot, just knowing, thinking any minute now the cops are going to show.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because why is some guy just standing in the middle of a Kia dealership?

>> Mike: Yeah. How long do you have to be there for loitering or for like a heist is about to happen?

>> Darin: Exactly. I was absolutely loitering. I have never loitered so hard in my life. I lawyered. Like, I loitered like a gangster.

>> Mike: In the movies, whenever they're doing a heist, I mean, the movies, everybody shows up at the right exact time.

>> Mike: But in real life, there's usually a person. I'm just not, from experience. I'm just saying in general.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: There's got to be somebody that's just standing around watching TikTok videos.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Waiting for the exact Right.

>> Darin: I mean, I could have been the distraction. Someone could have said, why is this guy standing out front? And then everyone's like, behind the store, breaking in.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. I'm glad it didn't start raining. I didn't have to. I didn't have to use the bathroom.

>> Mike: Was the dude vacuuming that whole time?

>> Darin: He finished his gig and he had another guy that were working their left and I was they. And they drove right past me. Sir, is everything okay? Yeah, I mean, there's just some guy loitering like a. Out there and they didn't stop and ask me what was going on or nothing.

>> Mike: I mean, if I would have driven by and seen you, I would have called the cops.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I look suspicious.

>> Darin: Yeah. I ain't supposed to be there.

>> Mike: Hey, thanks for listening to us. If you like what we did, visit, us@awritabledadsyndrome.com you can listen to all our episodes. We have videos. Oh yeah. follow us on the Tick tock, on the YouTube, on the instant gram. We even have a blue sky presence. Yeah, not very many follows. But you know what?

>> Darin: You got to start somewhere.

>> Mike: A lot of places you, you can get this content, help us out. Share, When you see our videos pop up, when you see our episodes pop, up. Share it with your friends. Share it with people you know, people you don't know and. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. And we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.

>> Mike: Man. That was pointless.

>> Darin: This is why we. We record for an hour and 40 minutes and the episode's 38 minutes long.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Darin: And it, it was going so well too. Yeah.

>> Mike: we had such a good.


You can't catch lightning at a bott. You know what? You can't

>> Darin: Such a. Yeah. You know what? You can't.

>> Mike: No, it's not doing that thing.

>> Darin: You can't catch lightning at a bott. Here is the night. That's right. It. Hm.