IDS #289 - How Do You Smoke a Beer?

This is the last episode of 2025.Dave Lay fills in for Mike and Darren

>> Darin: 1, 2, 3, 4. 2, 2, 3, 4. 1.

>> Dave: Hi, I'm Dave Lay, filling in for Mike and Darren. We hope you had a wonderful holiday. This is the last episode of 2025. Usually the guys run a repeat, but this year they've put together a brand new episode filled with conversations they've recorded over the past couple of months. It's gonna be a real banger. So sit back and enjoy the fun with Mike and Darren.


I have a Call of Duty story that no one's gonna care about

>> Mike: I have a Call of Duty story that no one's gonna care about, including you.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: So it shouldn't be on the podcast, but I'm gonna talk about it. So I've been doing rank. I'm platinum. rank now. Platinum.

>> Darin: You the man.

>> Mike: Platinum.

>> Darin: Platinum.

>> Mike: Now, once you're platinum.

>> Darin: Excuse me.

>> Mike: This is for the non cod people.

>> Darin: You don't go back.

>> Mike: so gold is you know how to do your stuff.

>> Darin: Platinum.

>> Mike: Platinum. You gotta start working as a team, okay? So when you queue up, it's teams of four. It puts you with randos, what the kids call random randos.

>> Darin: Those are people you don't know.

>> Mike: So you need to communicate with people. Like, there's a dude up in the window, there's a dude in the basement, there's a guy over there, there's a dude over here. all that kind of stuff. if nobody's using their mics, you don't know what you're walking into each time you. You respawn. Okay? So typically, whenever the match is loading, everybody's in the map. It's counting down, 30 seconds till the it starts. That's usually when somebody says, y' all got mics. Yeah, everybody talks. You know, your likely hood to win that match has, like, tripled at that point. If you hear crickets, you might as well just leave. You're going to lose. Right?

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: especially if the other team is talking. So I don't know what it is. I don't know what it was. was it yesterday? I think it was. Yes. No, not yesterday. Sunday, during the day. Nobody was talking. Nobody's on their mics. Nobody's doing anything.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And another problem is people will leave the game. They won't play it. Right. This is ranked. These matter. If you lose, you go down in rank.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: You could lose your rank.

>> Darin: It's like you don't even care.

>> Mike: It's like you're not even. You don't even care about your cod.

>> Darin: What the hell? And how dare you and I.

>> Mike: You can't leave. If you find out you have a douchebag on your team, and then you leave.

>> Darin: Worthless.

>> Mike: Then you get banned for a period of time. It's just. It's a pain. So I went through, and I don't want to go. I went through, like, six or seven of these in a row with nobody saying anything. And I don't know what it was about this one guy, he just ticked me off because we were doing okay, and then he just quit playing. So his dude is just standing there, and we get to the end. Now, when you're at the end, when you're in the game, only your teammates can hear you. When you're at the end, everyone can hear everyone. That's when you talk your smack. All that kind of stuff goes, yeah.

>> Darin: Your mother wears army boots.

>> Mike: Typically, I. Typically, I hold my tongue. Right? Okay. I keep my. I. I keep your tongue held. I'm nicer to strangers than I am to you.

>> Darin: That's. That's. You're nicer to everyone.

>> Mike: As soon as the entire chat, you are to me clicked on, I forgot what the guy's name. I think it was Mambo. I said, mambo, if you're not even going to play the game, you're not even going to talk on the mic. Why are you even doing here? And then I heard somebody on the other team with a lisp and, like, a weird thing. That's it. You're on our team.


Mike was called out on the other team constantly during a baseball match

And then invite over to me. Like, boom. And I was in his team. The next one, the dude was cracking me up left and right because he was like, you're good. The rest of them sucked, but you're the one.

>> Darin: It was, like, so festive.

>> Mike: It was like I was on there with Sylvester the cat. But my favorite thing about this dude, My favorite thing about this dude was he was calling out the other team constantly. And he referred to them all as a little bitch. So he's like, there's a little bitch on the floor in the third room. There's a little bitch in the doorway. Little bitch on the roof. Little bitch right there on the roof. And I was like, this guy is worth his weight in gold. We destroyed the other team. Now, there are little pockets of play when the other team can hear you. Like, right when you kill somebody or get killed, the communication between those two players is open. So you get to hear them say, ah. And. And they get to hear you say, yeah, baby. That's what. That's, That's how you like it. Yeah. Or whatever you want to say. At the end of that match, when it all came Together it's like, dude, what's up with you calling everyone a little bitch? Well, that's what you are. We beat you like a bunch of little bitches. And he's like, all right, let's queue up for the next one. I was going to quit that game an hour, one hour before I actually did. I stayed on another hour just to listen to this dude call out the little bitches.

>> Darin: Little bitches.

>> Mike: It was so fun. I'm guessing he was about 60. and he was, he was. It was like a cross between Sylvester the Cat and Harry Cary. It was amazing. My niece is a stunt person in a pirate show in Pigeon Forge. Ah. Which is different.

>> Darin: I did know that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I was like, wait a minute.

>> Mike: Because I remember I was, I was, I. I saw her as a baby. Like I've held her as a baby in my arms and now she's like, as a baby? No, not as a baby.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: No, well, not major ones. I mean, she fell flat on her face, but I don't think she did that on purpose. Got right up immediately got back up. Didn't scream or nothing anyway. But she's like doing dives, like jumping off of stuff, acrobatic stuff. Sword fight, stabbed a dude, pushed him off into the water.

>> Darin: She karate chopped a kid.

>> Mike: Karate chopped a kid who was trying to get up in line. She was, it was, it was impressive. I just kept saying, yeah, there she is. I know that person right there.

>> Darin: Crap out of Piglet. I've been. How many Reds games have you been to, Mike?

>> Mike: a few. I've only been last place I worked. We kept getting free tickets. Yeah, we got free diamond tickets once.

>> Darin: I had free diamond tickets once.

>> Mike: That was amazing. Yeah, you just sit there and you just say, I want, I want, I want a hot dog.

>> Darin: I want another hot dog. And it's free. No, I had a client. I can't remember the name of the client, but they.

>> Mike: Johnson and Johnson.

>> Darin: It was Johnson and Johnson. And they had a commercial that needed to run on the Jumbotron there at, of all places, the Cincinnati Red stadium. And you couldn't just send it the way I send it because I would always take my commercials. I would load it onto the FTP site and then give the client the password and username to get it.

>> Mike: Where they could access the commercial file transfer protocol.

>> Darin: Exactly. That's. But that's how we did it, right? Well, they couldn't do it that way. It had to be sent a special way. You had to log on to their go to jumbotron.com. exactly. It's like, sorry, yeah, so it took maybe and. And maybe five more minutes than it normally does to send the commercial. But I did it, and I reached out to the guy and I said, hey, your commercial has been uploaded. Let me know that you got it. And if there's any problems, I can always resend it or whatever. And he sends me this long email, says, oh, man, thank you so much for going out of your way and above and beyond, and we really appreciate you doing this. And if you ever want to tickets to a Reds game, let me know. So I reached out to my friends and I said, hey, do you want to go to a Reds game? And we said, yeah, and let's go on this Friday in August or something.


It was our anniversary and we had reservations at Eddie Munsters

And I told him, I said, hey, can you get us some tickets for this date? Sure. He gives us four diamond seats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And diamond seats are the bomb. Absolutely the bomb. So. And now that I have, I've watched a ball game in a suite, and I've watched the ball game in diamond seats, and I can't go back and just sit with the commoners.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. After the. Because we went to a game after the diamond seats. I'm, like, I don't even know what this is. Yeah, this isn't even the same city.

>> Darin: No, after you go. No, and see a game in us. especially if you go up in one of the sweets.

>> Mike: Remember we saw Metallica in a suite.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And then the very next concert I saw, I'm like, are you kidding me? Where's the sliders? Where's the. Just a bucket of beers? The. The trough of beers that we just go over?

>> Darin: Where's our own bathroom?

>> Mike: Where's the party bus? Limo?

>> Darin: That's the beef.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: but, yeah, the. I think it was the private bathroom that really sold it for me.

>> Mike: Oh. Yeah. I, It was our anniversary.

>> Darin: Happy anniversary.

>> Mike: Thank you. Two days ago, and we were supposed to go out to eat, and I got reservations at, Eddie Munsters. Eddie Bowers. Is it Eddie Merlot's?

>> Darin: Eddie Munsters.

>> Mike: Eddie. Eddie Merlo's is a pretty pricey, fancy okay joint. And. And I told this. I was like, well, we may have to. We may have to dress up a bit. I'll just put on, like, something other than jeans. And it got closer. Got within three hours, and. And we're both like, She's like, well, I mean, we could go somewhere closer to here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I was like, yeah, I really don't feel like dressing up. And then we decided. We just canceled that reservation. Yeah. We decided we're gonna go to a brewery near here. And we were about to do that, and then I started watching videos of Norm MacDonald and it took a while to get me off the couch. I somehow.

>> Darin: Easy rabbit hole to get into with Norm MacDonald videos.

>> Mike: I think I've seen everything he's done and then I see a new clip and.

>> Darin: Well, the best is when he was on Conan's show with what's, her face from. Was she in 90210?

>> Mike: Lonnie Dodson.

>> Darin: No, she's talking about her movie. Chairman of the Board. And he says, oh, yeah. Oh, it's spelled B O R E D. Yeah. I'm like, okay.

>> Mike: You know, have you seen those AI videos where they say he was once 104 years old and he's dead, but he was once 80 and he was once 70? And it morphs.

>> Darin: Yes, yes.

>> Mike: So there's a Tom Cruise one that just hit a few, few days ago and it's. It's interesting. No. Well, the recent one for the past 20 years, he looks pissed off. He looks mad.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because he's been doing Mission Impossible and Maverick, like the whole. So he's like pissed. And then as it gets into the 80s and 90s, then he's all goofy and, and funny looking. At some point, he transitions into Matt Dillon. I don't think. I don't think the quality control on these AI videos is where they need to be.

>> Darin: I, was like, you know, they throw that on there so that people can get chime in.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it gets the comments.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And if you get more comments, that increases your algorithm.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That's not Tom, that's Matt Dylan.

>> Mike: Yeah. And there was one for Michael Madsen that I watched, and at one point he turned into Bruno Kirby.


There are people who absolutely love Cincinnati chili and others who don't

And yeah, all that comments were like, wow. He. Wow. He really.

>> Darin: What is it? The other day I saw. It was a picture. The, the comment. Excuse me. The thing said, what is your favorite Madonna song? And you can't say, we got the beat. And there's a picture of Joan Jett. I got it. I knew what they were doing. I thought it was funny. You go to the comments. That's Joan Jett.

>> Mike: Oh, we got to do. I'm going to do one of those. I'm, doing one of those this week.

>> Darin: Yeah. And then there's people who absolutely love it. I'm like, have you ever had chili? Like actual chili, like, homemade?

>> Mike: I don't. I put. If I find somebody that likes that loves Cincinnati chili. I pull my children closer. I don't want them.

>> Darin: That's right. They're not allowed at their home. No, no. If. If there's like a carpool, you're. I'll just drive my own kids somewhere.

>> Mike: It's like, what else are you hiding? What other opinions do you have?


Adolescence swept the Emmy awards for best limited series

>> Darin: I posted a review of the. The limited series that's known as Adolescence.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: Adolescence swept the Emmy awards. It won for best limited series, best direction, best best cinematography, best, overall best show. and then it won three acting awards. Okay. And screenplay. it deserves everything that it won. Okay. It is absolutely incredible. It's phenomenal. Your jaw will drop watching this. And there's four one hour episodes. Each episode is shot in one take. The camera is rolling and it moves m. And. And your mind will be blown at how they do it. And I'm telling you, it's not gimmicky. After watching it, it's the only way they could tell this story. It adds to the intensity. It adds to the chaos. It adds to. It makes you feel like you're part of the story. Okay. And I recommended this. I said, you know, eight plus plus. I can't say anything better about this. And I got this text from. From an old friend, not the same one who called me at 11:30. Okay. And the text was, thank you for Adolescence.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: That's all. And I just want to let people know I had absolutely nothing to do with the production, with the, with. With the lighting. I had nothing to do with the casting. I had nothing to do with the distribution. I was not involved in getting the show on Netflix. I was not involved with the process that they went through to have it be nominated for M. Emmys.

>> Mike: And we can't even spell the word analysts.

>> Darin: AI Spell check it for me. I had nothing to do with it. I mean, thank you, I think, you know, you're welcome for the. The text, but I had nothing to do with it. Thank you for Adolescence. Yeah, like, you're welcome. Go back to San Francisco with the rest of the Jews. What?

>> Mike: you know, we are live now. Yeah, I know, I know.

>> Darin: Okay. I know these aren't my thoughts. No, I'm quoting South Park.

>> Mike: Okay. No one's ever gotten in trouble quoting south park before.

>> Darin: No, no, no, no. Certainly not us.

>> Mike: They do. They are somewhat immune from everything. It's what I.

>> Darin: They can do anything want. I do wonder if they've ever pitched an idea and Comedy Central is like, whoa, no, no, no. Because there has never Been anything I've seen. I can't possibly imagine something that Comedy Central would say. No, you. We're not doing that. Yeah, I mean, I. I can't even say out loud some of the things they've done on that show.

>> Darin: Oh, I'm surprised that you're still a fan of south park because of the episode with Bono and the world's giant.

>> Mike: Oh, I thought it was hilarious.

>> Darin: Most giant sized turd. Yeah, he hated P. F. Changks.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome. We set the standard in quality conveyor belts.

>> Darin: Do your kids do the dishes?

>> Mike: Andrew does.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: Yes. We haven't unleashed Charlie. Charlie would like to do them. We just haven't unleashed him on them.

>> Darin: Wait, he wants to, but you will let him.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: What the hell?

>> Mike: there's training involved. We're very lazy parents.

>> Darin: What kind of training is involved in doing the dishes?

>> Mike: Don't. Don't break this dish, or dad's going to kick you out of the house.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, well, yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: When, one of my kids does the dishes, it sounds like we're at a Greek wedding.

>> Mike: Yep.

>> Darin: Sounds like plates being thrown down the steps.


Almost every time the kids do the dishes, there are too many washcloths

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: We're like, buddy, I've got one kid who bangs them all together and one kid who does them with one hand. And it takes twice at a time. Like, if you use both hands and put them both in there, then you're done. But I like doing with sand. I know you like it. Yeah, but do you like doing chores?

>> Mike: You want to be here all day?

>> Darin: You could be done in half the time.

>> Mike: Gumby's dad made it up to the moon in half the time.

>> Darin: Time.

>> Mike: It's.

>> Darin: Yeah, they said you do the. The damn dishes. So anyway, what we've noticed, and I don't know why, and I don't know what to do to fix this, but every time. I'm going to take that back. Almost every time the kids do the dishes, we'll come in and there will be somewhere between eight and nine washcloths, wet washcloths on the counter.

>> Mike: What are they even using washcloths?

>> Darin: I don't know. I don't know. We don't have that many dishes that it takes eight washcloths to dry them.

>> Mike: Yeah, we.

>> Darin: We just don't. And so I think if there's two there from the. tonight's Tuesday.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: So if there's two there from Tuesday, I have a feeling that on Wednesday they will get two new ones. Right when the one that was used to dry the night before. If you hang it, it will dry and then. And you can use that one again. But if you just leave it wadded up on the counter, then it spells yucky and then you have to wash it.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: So do they hang it and let it dry?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No. Do they leave it wet and make it smell yucky?

>> Mike: Yeah. Yes.

>> Darin: Yeah. Right. So then they grab two new ones and push the other ones aside, and then they will dry said dishes, because I like my dishes dried and. And put away.

>> Mike: I don't know what to tell you.

>> Darin: And the reason I'm saying is this, because they don't listen to the podcast anymore, so I can about them all I want and they're not going to hear this. Yep.

>> Mike: I,

>> Darin: You don't like it when I.

>> Mike: When I remember when I. So I have my set that I do in our house at all times. Anybody drops anything, just put that.

>> Darin: I started doing that, too, but just put that in.

>> Mike: If I get a chance to do them out in public.

>> Darin: Did you pay for that much?

>> Mike: To my family chagrin. If I nail one in public, I cackle like a. Like a psychotic man.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And, oh, my God. Charlie can't help but laugh. Andrew's face goes blood red. Bess acts like she's reading something or looking out the window.

>> Darin: All of a sudden, she's somebody else's wife.

>> Mike: She goes from being my wife to my caretaker.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the only days away.

>> Mike: Thing I do the best is anytime she says it's okay or whatever. Huh? No, Bess, it's not okay.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: And the more inappropriate of a situation that we're in that I do that, the harder she laughs. We were. We were in Kroger.

>> Darin: You went Krogering together?

>> Mike: We. Occasionally it happens. we were Krogering together and she's like, we're looking at spaghetti sauce or something. And she said, well, this one's okay. And I'm like, no, Bess, it's not okay. And she's looking. It's a mixture of laughter and, oh, my God, everyone here is going to think I'm a battered person. Bess gave me some wisdom. I said, when should you get more toilet paper? And she said, before your next.

>> Darin: Before you need it. Yes, before.

>> Mike: Because we were in a. We were in a text discussion. She wanted me get it more toilet paper. And, like, when do we need it? She's like, well, before someone.

>> Darin: Yeah, brilliant, actually.

>> Mike: You don't need it.


You have to cut so much of it out, but it's gonna be really good

I mean, yeah, you Do.

>> Darin: No, you need it before.

>> Mike: It's nice to have on hand before, but okay.

>> Darin: My God. Hurt and Rusty Cage are the two. Yeah. yeah. That was my impersonation of Rusty Cage by Johnny Cash. Thank you. There's a tip jar at the door.

>> Mike: There was a period in the 90s where if you went into a guitar center or a place that sold guitars and you played somewhere else, far away here. And then you go. You go faster and faster. And then somebody would go to the drum kit. Go. And you would get kicked out and.

>> Darin: Hit me with a hand of broken nails. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That would really happen. You don't do a Sam Goody.

>> Mike: Never happened. But it would be awesome if it did.

>> Darin: I don't know that this is our best episode.

>> Mike: This is awesome. You have to cut so much of it out, but it's gonna be really good. You know what? Trope. I am so happy we don't give enough attention to Trope. Trope.

>> Darin: Is that a fish? Oh, I'm sorry. That's tripe. Oh, the comedy keeps coming.

>> Mike: Kids and alliteration. The thing where, like, everybody has to have a romantic relationship in movies. It seemed like in the 80s, there was always somebody that some kind of relationship involved with whatever was happening. And then somewhere in the 90s, they said, you know what? Maybe the hero doesn't have to bang somebody.

>> Darin: Maybe in the movie, maybe the guy. Good guy doesn't win. Yeah, maybe.

>> Mike: that. That too.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Cut everything out. That I just.

>> Darin: Well, it's like Sixteen Candles, and I talked about it with, Larry and Dorothy, Curly. Sixteen Candles, you know, Molly Ringwald. Ducky was in love. Head over heels in love. Was that. That's Pretty in Pink.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That's not 60 candle. No, Ducky was in 16 Candles Are Pretty in Pink.

>> Mike: It doesn't matter. It's like the John Cusack movies. He did, like, five movies, but they're all the same movie.

>> Darin: Ducky was head over heels in love with Molly Ringwald. And at the end, she got together with Kevin McCarthy. And then Ducky was, there all by himself. Yeah, right. And then, like, last minute John Hughes, like, oh, crap. quick, throw in a girl who thinks Ducky's cute.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And she looks at him, goes, hi, I think you're cute. He's like.

>> Mike: And then he met Charlie Sheen and everything worked out. So he's good.

>> Darin: Yeah. You know, I started watching that Charlie Sheen documentary. Yeah, yeah. Ducky's in it. Yeah, yeah. It starts off with him and, oh, he doesn't really hold back.

>> Mike: No.

>> Mike: Something that's been bothering me, and I just. I can't believe it took me this long. And maybe it's because I don't do this professionally. I think all we need at this point, I need to get, like, a black cloth to go across here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: To knock out that white. And I'm not against. I'm. M. Not again.

>> Darin: you know what?

>> Mike: The other day. I'm not again having those on up there. They kind of.

>> Darin: The other day, I'm in the kitchen, I'm drinking coffee, and Let me. Did something, and I had to spit my coffee onto the sink, and it would shut out my nose. Coffee shot out my nose. And then she was laughing so hard.


When Bess surprises me with a funny. It literally almost killed me

She's like.

>> Mike: She's like, I'm sorry.

>> Darin: I'm like, you're not sorry. You're laughing too hard to be sorry.

>> Mike: I. When.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. Coffee shoot out your nose?

>> Mike: No, but I've had, burns a little bit when. When best. When Bess surprises me with a funny. It takes me from zero to heart attack. Like, the one that got. It literally almost killed me. because we had done the. Your mom thing.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Yeah. And then it fell off by the wayside. For years, nobody said, your mom.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Forever. And then this was. It was just last year, I think it was. She had left something on the. My nightstand, and she's like, can you reach over and get the thing? It's like, I can't reach. And then it was, like, this long silence, and she says, your mom can reach. I almost myself. I know I kicked booba out of the bed. I just.

>> Darin: My.

>> Mike: I. It was just. Oh, my God. That's pretty good.

>> Darin: Pretty good. 1.

>> Mike: Can't believe you have the same thing with the hat that I. Because I. I know exactly where you're.

>> Darin: She walked out, and I'm like, what.

>> Mike: What. What do you.

>> Darin: I mean, it's like, I appreciate her helping in the yard.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But I'm like, what are you doing?

>> Mike: There are times.

>> Darin: Please take off my hat.

>> Mike: There are times when I feel, like, borderline abusive because Bess will walk out with, like, an Octung baby, like, hoodie, and she'll be. And she'll see me, and I'll see her. She'll be like, is this. Is this. Is this okay? No, no, no, no. There's, like, 50 hoodies in there. Get one of the Iral dad syndromes. Nobody cares about those. Head on. Check, check, check, check, check, check.

>> Darin: One, two, one.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: I'm.

>> Mike: I'm gonna tweet out that we're live.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I'm listening to what you're saying.

>> Darin: You're gonna X that.

>> Mike: If you feel comfortable with me doing that while you're talking, your go ahead.


Last week I had a podcast thing. It was like a video podcast thing

Well, if not. Excuse me. If you want my.

>> Darin: No, you excuse me.

>> Mike: By the way, I had to. I was listening.

>> Darin: I had to pull the. It's my podcast.

>> Mike: I had. Last week I had a podcast thing. No, I was watching a, a thing. It was like a. A video podcast thing. While I was grinding my camos, black ops 7 just hit. So all my camels. Camel camels have been reset to zero. So I got to grind my camels.

>> Darin: Your camels?

>> Mike: Grinding them?

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Like a beast. Yep. And one of the hosts was talking, and the other one tried to say something. He's like, excuse me, I came very close to throwing the comments. That's my bit. That's. That's my jam. What are you doing? That's me.

>> Darin: But yeah, I had to pull the. It's my podcast too. Cause as soon as you started talking about Rush, I knew we would never, ever get. Onto a topic there again.


This episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome contains sequences of flashing lights

>> Dave: This episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome contains sequences of flashing lights that may affect viewers who are susceptible to photosensitive issues.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: I remember when Zima. Didn't Zima come out? When Was it the late 90s or mid-90s?

>> Darin: Early 90s.

>> Mike: Early, early 90s. It was kind of a thing when.

>> Darin: When.

>> Mike: When I was starting college. And I remember the first time I had a Zima. I thought, this is the new. This is like space age. I felt like I was in Wave of the future. You ever seen Demolition man with Sylvester, Stallone, where he goes to Taco Bell? There's the seashells to poop. I, felt like, this is the future. This is where I. This is where it's at. And boy, I think I. And then somebody at some point, in. In a bar, put a Jolly Rancher in a Z.

>> Darin: Yes, yes. I was gonna say people would put Jolly Ranchers in Zima.

>> Mike: What that did was it made the Zima, pink. And I didn't notice any difference in the taste. It still tasted like. It tasted like sweaty 7 up.

>> Darin: Like sprite that had gone bad.

>> Mike: Yeah, Sprite. Sprite that had gone down the wrong path in life. Sprite that had, like, a bandana hung over the part of the crows.

>> Darin: Yeah, exactly.

>> Mike: Holding you up outside of 7:11.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: And it, was not good. No, it was not good. In the same way. That Bud Light is not good.

>> Darin: Oh, man. Oh, it was so bad. Now the last time, I was out with friends and I was at a bar, the only beer, they, they didn't have any beer on tap that I liked. And I said, well, okay, I'll have a Bud Light. Oh, I mean, don't ever. Don't know.

>> Mike: See, here's the thing. If you're, if you drink Bud Light now, or I'll say it Budweiser.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Or Natural light or Bush Light, or the Beast. Milwaukee's.

>> Darin: Milwaukee's best, or quantity beer quality beer.

>> Mike: So if you drink, if yours, if you drink, if you drink those genre of beer. And you want to continue to enjoy them, don't ever drink any other beer. And I'm not trying to be a beer snob. I'm not a beer snob. I don't care. No, but once you've had something else.

>> Darin: Stop hitting the table.

>> Mike: Once you've had something else, it.

>> Darin: Like, you can't go back.

>> Mike: Yeah. It's. You really. It's like, okay, it's like this McDonald's, right? McDonald's is good, right? You have McDonald's. Yeah. But then when you have a really, really good burger somewhere, you're like, oh my God, Lord.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Wow. And then you go have a McDonald's burger after that. It's still, it's, it's. There's something off about it.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. M. I, I like to drink Yingling. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I love to drink a good Yingling.

>> Mike: You England.

>> Darin: You Engling. You Engling. On draft is really, really good.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Or if you drink it out of the glass bottle. Beer tastes best on tap. Glass bottle. I do not drink beer out of a can. That's where I get snobby.

>> Mike: Yeah, I get snobby there too.

>> Darin: And. But now I've got a buddy, Eric, and he is the beer snob of beer snobs. He only will drink beer at those places that, that brew the.

>> Mike: And every beer's got like a.

>> Darin: What's it called?


I can't drink dark beer. I just want beer that tastes like beer

A micro brew.

>> Mike: Like sweaty cricket. Give me a sweaty cricket.

>> Darin: I'll take a sweaty cricket. Give me one of the peanut butter lemon beers. What? What?

>> Mike: Give me the grilled cheese tabs. Are you talking about?

>> Darin: I just want, I want a beer. I don't want beer that tastes like pumpkin. I don't want beer that tastes like strawberry cheesecake and lime. I just want beer, that tastes like beer. And I also can't drink dark beer. The, what's it called the Stout Stout.

>> Mike: So we went to stout with a knife. Bess and I went to one of these hoity toity joints, and I got a beer, and it was a. Was a dark beer. I couldn't help but get it because it said it was smoked. It was a smoky beer. And I'm like, how do you smoke a beer? And I'll tell you exactly what it tasted like. And I told Bessa, back in college, people used to put their cigarettes out in beers. And every once in a while, you drink one, you'd take a tug off of that. You'd be like, it has a distinct taste, right?

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: That's what this beer tasted like. And it was strange because it, Like, you take a drink, you're like, oh, Jesus. That's like an ashtray. But then I kept drinking it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't know how they smoked the beer. I think they just scraped ashes into the. I don't know.

>> Darin: I know. But I was like, if you ever go to one of those places, if I'm in front of you, just ask me to step aside.

>> Mike: I will.

>> Darin: I'll move over and I'll try and figure out what,

>> Mike: I. Look, All I do is I scan for the hellas or hellas, like. And that's. That's my jam. That's why I like the harp. I like the Stella Artois. That's. Those are my jams.

>> Darin: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my Uncle Jerry, who's no longer with us, he passed away a long time ago. When I was young, I was probably 8 or 9, I went to my grandmother's house, and he was there. He was out in the front yard, and he was drinking a beer. And I said, what are you drinking, Uncle Jerry? And he says, oh, I'm drinking a beer. And he says, you want to try it? I'm like, sure. Oh, my Lord. I took a sip of it. It was stroz. It was a tall boy. It was like a can. A stroz.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It was warm.

>> Mike: Yeah. Oh, me, me.

>> Darin: That's why I never drank beer until. I think my fourth year in college was the first time.

>> Mike: I'm trying to think. So, in. In. I went to OU. Ohio, university in Athens. There were 23 bars on a street, and it was Court Street. It's called the Court Street Shuffle. It was kind of a scam because there's other streets that were involved. One of the bars is a biker bar called the Smiling Skull.

>> Darin: Right M. That sounds like a fun bar.

>> Mike: And on the other end of the town is the bar that they let 18 year olds in, but they don't let them drink. Wink, wink, nod, nod. And they play like, oh, what a night. Okay, so what you do when you do the Court Street Shuffle, if you do it proper, properly, you start at the Smiling Skull. Because you do not want to be drunk in the Smiling Skull if you're not a townie. Now, in my later years at ou, my last year, the Smiling Skull was right near where I lived, so I went in there all the time. But I was allowed. I was at that point. I was. I'd been there for like five years. I was a townie. But new people coming in. You watch it. A bunch of Harley's parked out front, you walk in. I swear, swear. I swear. Every time I walked in, every time, it was either. I know this sounds cliche.


Jim: Stroz is Australian for beer. Okay. I had a friend who loved drinking Stroz

It was either Bad to the Bone by George Thorgood, something by Ted Nugent.

>> Darin: Or cause I got cat scratch fever.

>> Mike: Or something from the Black Album. That's not Enter Sandman.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Wherever my my may roam.

>> Darin: Sad but true.

>> Mike: Yeah, sad but true. Those things are playing in there. But anyway. Forgot where I was going with this. Oh, so halfway. I think the bar was called the Nickelodeon. I had a friend, Stape, Stapleton, and I went out all the time, my last couple years of college. and he and I were on the same level in terms of we were sick of being in school. just screw it. I think he was in engineering as well. and when you at this bar, they had all their taps lined out, right? And there was a cask, wooden cask in the wall. And I'm pointing. This is a audio podcast. I'm pointing to the left. The left wall over where the are.

>> Darin: Right, Right.

>> Mike: It was just a cask hanging out with a tap. And all the beers. This was in the 90s. Okay. So all the beers were like three or four dollars, for a draft.

>> Darin: And.

>> Mike: And then we asked the dude behind the thing. We're like, what's. What's in the cask over there? He's like, that's Stroz.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: And we're like, how much is a Strohs? He's like dollar a pint. So we started drinking Stroz all the time. we go in with $5. We're like, we can either have one beer each or five each of strohs. Now, the first time you drink five.

>> Darin: Strohs, quantity beer, quality Beer.

>> Mike: You're going to have a rough day the next day. Oh. But after about a year of doing that stroz, it begins to take on a life of its own.

>> Darin: it's like diet soda. You don't really ever like the taste of it.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Just get used to it.

>> Mike: It starts out like tab, tab. And then slowly becomes new Coke. Never quite reaches Classic Coke.

>> Darin: no.

>> Mike: Gets. Gets close, though.

>> Darin: Oh, my God. Gatsby's was our bar. Okay. Gatsby's was a block down the street from our TV station. And on a bad night, we would be there at 8 o'. Clock. On a pretty good night, we would get there like 9:45. They started charging cover at 10. So we always got like 15, 20 minutes before they started charging the COVID And then we would go, and there was this round table in front of the big glass window. And that's where we always sat. If you were looking for me, Jim, Shannon or Chad or Donnie. Okay. On a Friday or Saturday night, that's where you found us. Roundtable Gatsby's. Okay. For the longest time, we drank Fosters on draft.

>> Mike: Okay. And, Fosters, back in the day, the big oil can.

>> Darin: Australian for beer.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Oh, and I love drinking Fosters. Okay. And so we would go there and we would get, I would get like the first pitcher and then Jim would get second one.


The bartender really liked us. He would give us frosty mugs

Whatever. We'd all get take turns buying pictures of beer. And the bartender, I don't think he did this to anybody else. He really liked us. He would give us frosty mugs.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Oh, he'd get the beer, the mugs out of the freezer. Here you go, fellas. You know, whatever. So like I said, we always got there like 9:45. There was one night, I don't remember what was going on. Was running late. I didn't get there till like 10:30. I walk in, all the guys are at the round table. I was like, hang on, let me go get a mug to get my mug. The bartender looks at me, goes, where have you been? I've been worried sick. you're gonna have to call next time. Let me know. And he gave me a Frosty Bug.

>> Mike: That's awesome. That reminds me. Yeah. We hit a point in our nightly endeavors where we would walk in and there would be two stro's sitting at the. Because we sat at the same seats all the time too.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: They would just see us come in. They just get them and put them down. And I'd be like. The first time that happened I'm like, what's this? They're like, well, that's what you're going to get, right, Strohs? I'm like, okay, yeah, just make sure it's. It wasn't for somebody else. Then he looked at me like I was out of my mind. How dare you question this?

>> Dave: Well, that's gonna do it for us this week. If you want to hear more episodes, you can check us out at Irritable dad syndrome dot com. Happy New Year, and we hope to see you in 2026 on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Darin: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.