IDS #303 - Uber Has a Nice Peter

Waffle House is a restaurant in a gas station minus the gas station

>> Mike: Oh, my God. I, let me. I'm touching the icon.

>> Darin: Are you touching the thing?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. I like touching the thing. Yeah, yeah, we're touching the thing. Let me explain to you the Waffle House. Think of a restaurant in a gas station minus the gas station.

>> Mike: That is the. That's the Waffle House right there.


Mike and Darren are hosting Irritable Dad Syndrome on April Fool's Day

>> Dave: Time now for Irritable Dad Syndrome. After the podcast, remind me to run to the store. My wife needs me to pick up some pancake mix. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: Yeah, hey, I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 303. For the first time ever. I think we are recording this episode on April Fool's Day.

>> Mike: Oh, sh.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: That's a lot of pressure.

>> Darin: I know, right?

>> Mike: we're supposed to be funny. Funny with, like, the clown horns.

>> Darin: And now everything we say. You're going to be listening to this going, are they serious?

>> Mike: Well, the problem is, is that they're not going to be listening to this on April Fool's Day. So we.

>> Darin: They're listening to it a week later.

>> Mike: We can't say something stupid like, we're replacing Darren with Chris Huggies?

>> Darin: No, no. And we really should have released something on our social media sites and then pranked people on April Fool's Day if we should have done like they did in Chicago, there's the Museum of Broadcast Communications. And their prank today was that they're opening three new exhibits in 2026. One of them is a tribute to Joanie Loves Chachi. The it was the Happy Days spin off. One of them was a tribute to the Ropers, and one of them was a sing along with Cop Roc. They had me for, like, a second. I was like, they're doing what? Because the Museum of Broadcast Communications in Chicago is so badass. Yeah. And the way they wrote up everything, I'm like, that would actually work. You know, if they did do an exhibit of failed spin offs, it would be fantastic. Anyway, they're like, it's coming this year. Or is it April Fool's Day? I'm like, brilliant. Brilliant. And then for the first time ever, I fooled somebody on April Fool's Day, today. So I posted a picture on my Facebook page from January. Okay. And it was, There was like 4 or 6 inches of snow on my patio furniture. And I said, this weather's crazy. Literally last week, my neighbor was mowing his grass. Send. And I mean, I had, like a dozen people send their shocked reaction. Like, how God, I can't believe it. My friend Heather in Chicago sends me a teams message. I work with her. How much snow did you get? And I said, if you check your calendar, you will know exactly how much snow I got. Yeah. And then she sends me back this, emoji. Oh, I got her. I got her good. I haven't fooled anybody on April Fool's Day in forever.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: Yeah, good, times. Hey, hey, hey. Yeah. Today on, on this episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome, Mike and I, we went to see a candlelight concert. It was a four string quartet of the Lord of the Rings. Of the Lord of the Rings. It was fantastic. So we went to do that. Mike, went to Chicago to pick up his new car and the moon is flat. We're going to talk about all these things. So stay with us. Yeah. How you doing, Mike?

>> Mike: I'm okay.

>> Mike: It has been a week.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I think you've had a week.

>> Darin: Oh, I have.

>> Mike: And like you said, I went to the. Chicago's the Windy City, as it were. M. To get my car.

>> Darin: So long Windy with an I, not with an Exactly. There's not a lot of women there named Wendy Long. I mean, there may be a lot that you'll laugh at. Three days from now.

>> Mike: I won't.


When this podcast started, Mike did not have the Kia

long time listeners will know of the, of the Kia Chronicles.

>> Darin: Now. I.

>> Mike: When this podcast start, this is going to blow your mind.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: When this podcast started, I did not have the Kia.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: I had a different car.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I gained the Kia a, few months after this podcast started. And it's been with me ever. It's actually still out there in front of the house. Right. Nobody's called the police yet, but it's still there. Is it unlocked it finally. I don't care. It finally died. So I told the story the last episode. and Bess was. We were talking about how we used to take forever to make a decision on like a car or whatever. Or we, we know people that take forever to take to make decisions on a car. It's a big purchase. It is. so the morning of Saturday when I found out that the Kia was, you know, time of death, Saturday morning, 10, o 1:00am Call it, call it, call it. It was called, I had the down payment on the new car before 3pm oh. And then I, they said it was going to be three weeks and that turned into a week. And they're like, I know, that surprised me. Come on up. And so originally I was going to buy a plane ticket. Because to have a car delivered here.

>> Darin: Now, first off, Mike bought the car in a place, in Chicago.

>> Mike: In Chicago. And the reason I did that is because all the particular car that I got, all the ones around here were about five or six thousand dollars more expensive. So I saved that amount of money. Now they had a lot more different things on there, but I didn't care about, we talked about that. We did like the, the fantastic episode last week. The moon roof and a heads up display. Who needs that? Yeah, I mean, I'm not. If, if I have a heads up display, I want missile targeting and machine gun targeting. Right. I don't want just like little cartoon characters on my windshield saying, come on, go faster. I don't need that. I don't need that. I would like a sunroof or a moonroof, but, not for $5,000. No. So anyway, who are we?

>> Darin: K. Not. We're not children anymore.

>> Mike: It was going to be anywhere from 500 to $800 to have that thing brought down. Plane ticket. At the time that I made the decision to go up, there was $135.

>> Darin: That's not bad.

>> Mike: I'll do that.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: when they finally had the car coming in, plane, tickets went up to about 400.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: So I was like, oh, we're back in the realm of driving. Now some of you say, Mike, how far is it to drive from your house to the Chicago's? it's about five, five and a half hours.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Which means I would go up, in a rental car, which we got, right after the Lord of the Rings.

>> Darin: The airport. Aero Puerto for all you Spanish, speaking.

>> Mike: And then I draw, I drive it back. Now.

>> Darin: El dravo, caro.

>> Mike: El dravo, Carl. Now, my, my dad would have lost his mind. and I told Bess, when I was about halfway up, I was talking to her on the, on the phone. not just yelling really loud and because I had a duffel bag, my go bag, in case something went wrong. Right.

>> Darin: Cash.

>> Mike: Yeah, cash. Just enough drugs to get me through the next week. You know, lotion, loaded gun, loaded gun, all that's my go bag.

>> Darin: And then Tic Tacs.

>> Mike: So I told Bess, I was like, I, in terms of bargaining power, I have none. I'm going to walk in with a go bag. Clearly, if they don't sell me the car, I don't have another option. I mean, I could just drive back to the airport, and get another rental car or Catch a plane, but ain't nobody got time for that, right? so anyway, I did a long story short, if that's possible. Not really possible, but this. This goes into multiple stories.


Jimmy says he gave his rental car to a random Uber driver

Okay, so let's talk about Uber's Peter now.

>> Darin: Hello.

>> Mike: When I got to the airport, the Chicago o' Hare Airport.

>> Darin: That's a big airport.

>> Mike: I drove the rental car there. I got there, and there was a guy that was guiding us in, and there's. You go into the rental car return, as it were, as one does.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And on the first floor, it was Hertz and yo mama's cars, and, Jimmy, don't got time for your car, and all these different, you know, whatever cars.

>> Darin: Donut.

>> Mike: Yeah. And the next floor up was Enterprise and your mama prize. And I got your mama jokes for days.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Anyway, I pull in where it says Hertz, and there's a guy yelling, come forward. Come forward. Come forward. And I'm okay. And then he turns around and puts his back to me, and he's just standing on the side of the road in the bottom of the end under this parking garage. And I wasn't sure. I mean, clearly he worked. I think for Hertz. We were around a lot of Hertz size.

>> Darin: I would hope so.

>> Mike: And another guy came up, and he's like, leave the key. You go into that, into that stairwell. You go up to the second floor, and they'll take care of you, okay? I was like, you don't need. Like, there's no paperwork or nothing. And I showed him the rental contract for the. You know, the. The car, and he's like, no, no, no, I don't need that. You take that to the second floor. I go up to the second floor. Ain't no hurts up there. Ain't nobody up there. It's like an abandoned airport. It's like the Langoliers. Bronson, Pinko. Look it up. Awesome movie. Pincho. Pincho Mama. Pinko train.

>> Darin: You have a plan? Well, of course I do.

>> Mike: Don't be ridiculous. Came back down. Now I'm getting pissed because I'm getting very close to being late, and I'm. I've been on the road for five, five and a half hours, right? And I really don't know if I just gave this rental car to just, a random guy or not. so I go to the Hertz. I find the Hertz line. There's like, 20 people, and it's going really, really slow. I call customer service. Long story short, I was a bit more pissy with them. Than I should have been. What I wanted to say, what I should have just said was, I turned in the car. Can you verify that? I said that. But then I was like, you know, you guys need to work on your customer service. You got a guy down there that's just taking keys left and right. Nobody knows who the hell he is. Right. And he just told me to go to the first floor. He told you to go to the second floor. And there was nobody up there. And it wasn't until I just started walking around the airport on the first floor that I found the Hertz counter. My question is, what the hell? And then the line was forever. I'm already late for a very important meeting. I was laying it on pretty at a record store. I was like, I, you know, I'm good. I know it's not your fault. I'm just saying, y' all need to work on your process.

>> Darin: I'm just saying.

>> Mike: I'm just saying.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So then I felt really good about doing that, and then as soon as I hung up, I felt really bad.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: but at that point, the damage is done. So I go out and I connect to Uber, as one does.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And it says, peter is near you.

>> Darin: And I said, okay, okay.

>> Mike: Peter, drives up in his Uber. He's four minutes away. And, like, as soon as I said click, it went bling. he was in the last kisses, parking lot. And I had to ask one of the people out there, I was like, is that parking lot? The last kisses. Parking lot? And they said, yes.

>> Darin: The last what?

>> Mike: Kisses.


Peter is about to retire, but he hasn't saved up enough money

>> Darin: Kisses, kisses, kisses, kisses. What does that mean?

>> Mike: I think it's. It's a little parking lot right in front of the airport, right where people are dropped off. And it's there because you're dropping your loved one off and you give him a kissy poo.

>> Darin: Kissy poo?

>> Mike: Yeah. Depending on the time of day or your religious preference.

>> Dave: Whatever.

>> Mike: Whatever you feel like.

>> Darin: Check local listings.

>> Mike: So there's Peter and I get in the car, and Peter, you know, I'm friendly. I've tried. I think this podcast has made me more friendly than I used to be. I wonder what I would have been like five years ago.

>> Darin: I agree.

>> Mike: or if. If I hadn't started this podcast or been with you and that. You know what I'm saying?

>> Darin: I, I. Yes.

>> Mike: So Peter starts talking about driving for Uber. He loves it, by the way. Sure. He has five kids. There's a couple of them in college. He's got a small house, but it's it's actually in the city. he has to work a lot. He works about 20 hour days sometimes. His favorite trips are to go four hours, five hours out. He's driven people to Cincinnati, Toledo, Columbus, Cleveland, Indianapolis, Lansing, Michigan. He's driven Kentucky. He once took a guy down to Florida and back and that guy paid him $400 to get him down there and $400 to take him back.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Peter is about to retire. He's old enough to retire, but he hasn't saved up enough money yet because his family just keeps taking all of his money. And he doesn't understand why. He said the really strange thing. Let me back up, okay? He didn't say the strange thing. He said they moved to Florida and then they moved to Texas. and then I said, but you stayed here. And he's like, oh, yeah, good money. This is good money. Yeah, but your family left while you're staying here and then you send the money to them. He's like, yeah, I got to do that until they get out of college. His oldest has been in college for three years. He's got one or two more years.

>> Darin: What's he major?

>> Mike: And then he's done, some sort of medical. I dozed off a couple of times. It's a medical field. Once he's done, Peter is quitting and saying, screw you. And he didn't say that he was going to join his family. He just said he was quitting, quote, I don't need to send them any money anymore. I said, okay, okay. And then he's a fan of Lexus and Toyota. When I mentioned I did get a word in edgewise, I told him that I was picking up a Toyota. He said, it's a very, very good choice of car. He said, you need to get the oil changed every 5,000 miles. No matter what they say, if you change it every 5,000 miles, you'll never have a problem with that. You know, that's a very good investment. And he's probably going to be driving a Lexus or a Toyota, when he goes to Texas, which, if you'll remember, he thought his family had moved to Texas. So I've closed the loop on that. In this progression, I think he is going to go try to find his family.

>> Darin: That's how one would reason that.

>> Mike: Yeah. Peter was telling me so many things about his life that I watched the dealership start to pass us by. He forgot to turn into the dealership. I said, peter, is that where we're going right there? That says the that's the Toyota. He hits the brakes, we zoom over, and he pulls into the dealership and lets me. He's a wonderful. He was very, very nice.

>> Darin: Yeah, I had.

>> Mike: I was cracking up left and right talking to him or listening to him talking, and he, I had my duffel bag in there with me, and I got out and I said, watch this, Peter. I'm going to go in there and tell him I'm paying for it today with cash. And he saw the duffel bag, made the connection, and he. He thought it was funny. And he said, and I quote, well, you got a bunch of singles in there. And I wanted to do. I wanted to do the Heisenberg thing. I wanted to say about $250,000, but I didn't.

>> Darin: But you got in the bag.

>> Mike: There's possible that Peter might have thrown me back in the trunk and taken off with possible y. but anyway, I did. I reused that joke when I walked in the dealership, because a lot of people don't walk into dealerships with a black duffel bag.

>> Darin: No, they don't.

>> Mike: Full.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: And so they all. They were having a little sales pep rally or whatever the hell up in the front desk a morning. And they looked over and they all had wide eyes. And I saw my sales lady that had sold me the car over the phone, and I said, what up?


It was the easiest, easiest car buying experience I have ever had

I'm paying with cash right now. They all got a good kick out of that.

>> Darin: That's funny.

>> Mike: Except for the person sitting at the reception area. They may be a little slow. But anyway, we went back and it's. It was the easiest, easiest car buying experience I have ever had. Very, very nice dealership. Like, very nice.

>> Darin: Very, very nice.

>> Mike: Very, very nice. maybe three very, very, very, very, very nice. And I got to the point where I was. So I felt so welcome and happy that things were going well. I started wanting to add options to the car. I wanted to say, are you guys going to try to sell me the warranty? I mean, I. Where's the point where you try to.

>> Darin: What's that?

>> Mike: Did. Did you want a warranty? Yes, I would like a warranty on this.

>> Darin: An extended warranty.

>> Mike: Yeah. you know that. That Those screens are $3,500 when they go out. And the guy said, that's. That's. They are. I was talking to the finance guy, and he talked to me.

>> Darin: Canadian air in the tires.

>> Mike: Yeah, that's great. Anyway, got the car, and there was a brief moment where they had to check. You know, even though everybody says Everything's wonderful. And you've signed all the paperwork. There's always that we got to make sure you're really who you say you are type of thing.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: But then when everything was clear, it was just like, boo.


The new Kia has some unique features compared to the previous model

And then I'm driving and let me tell you something about this car. And I'm not going to go on and on about the car, but I will go on about my favorite features of this car compared to the Kia.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: One, it drives.

>> Mike: One, it does drive. And I can see the speedometer works. So if I'm driving a certain velocity, I can see a numerical indication of that velocity.

>> Darin: Yes. That matches the speed.

>> Mike: It was it. We went to see Hail Mary that night. And when we were driving at night, the headlights came on. Wow. And I could see the road at night.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Not just through the little yellow lights. I could. By the moonlight in infrared. I could. The headlights were actually working. And when I used the brakes to stop, A, they stopped. Hm. And B, they didn't go. And it didn't do this thing that the key had started doing its final months where it goes me when it stops and then. And then. And keeping that as it's. As it's going forward.

>> Darin: Kia sounds like a tauntaun. Right? Before.

>> Mike: Before you cut it open, climb inside it. Bess and I. And I'm Quit talking. After I point this out. Bess and I always drive our cars until they absolutely can't go.

>> Darin: Yeah. I do the same thing. Libby and I do the same thing.

>> Mike: And the benefit of that is that when we do get a different, car or a new car, it's like we're flying the freaking Millennium Falcon. Or maybe that's a bad. You know what I mean? It's like we're in, like.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Like, movement has changed since the last time we. We bought a car. And I. I start. I feel a little wistful.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: About the Kia. I mean, it's sitting out there.

>> Darin: Poor thing.

>> Mike: Poor thing smells like absolute ass. They had to have a nice little. We had, like, a family meeting. Like, okay, kids, listen. We treated the Kia as it deserved to be treated. This is a new car.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: We are not. This is not the Bromobile. We don't go out and get all funky and cleaty and whatever and then just tracking into this thing.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: If we bring it in, we take it out. If it was liquid, we wipe it up. We take care of this thing.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So we're in a good spot.

>> Darin: I love a good Uber driver. The last Time I was in Chicago, my Uber driver who took me from the airport to my office, we were driving down, and I mentioned something came on the radio about the new stadium. And I said, so, what do you think about the new stadium coming? Oh, boy. Did he have some opinions about the new stadium. Oh, long time. Long time Chicago Bear fan. He knew everything about when this coach came in and when this mayor was here, and then they wanted to do this, and they're wanting to have everybody go out to there to do the thing and whatever. And he just had lots of things to say about the new stadium and the possibility therein of said, building.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: On the way back, the guy who drove me from my office to the airport. Scary. He was a little scary. And you know me, I can't sit still if nobody's talking. I think he's mad at me. Me, I need to strike up a conversation. I need to say hi and something. So I'm like, so, how long have you driven an Uber? Or whatever? And he starts chatting me up, and he says, before I did this, I was a professional bodyguard. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, okay, that sounds interesting.

>> Mike: They're usually. Usually not very talkative.

>> Darin: Yeah. And so he was talking about being a professional bodyguard, and before he did that, when he was in these, it's not the Special Forces, but it was close, and he had seen, quote, some. Okay. And he's talking about this.


I love a good Uber driver who's fun. If you're an Uber driver, man, the friendlier

And more and more danger every time he turned around. I'm like, I can't believe this guy is even here.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You know, how did you go from I eat death for breakfast to driving an Uber? Yeah. but he made that step, and he explained, everything that went in between and why he chose this. Who? There's so many questions I wish I hadn't have asked him.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So. But anyway, I love a good Uber driver. One who's fun. And when we were in Florida, one on Uber driver was like, oh, my God, you got to go to this park. This park has the most roller coasters. This park has the most, water rides.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And this one's opening up next year, and you're not going to this one. Oh, you've got to go to this one. And he was like, the perfect tour guide.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: He knew everything about Orlando. Yeah. What you want to see? When's the best day to go to this and that and whatever. And, boy, did we give him a nice tip. Okay. Yeah. If you're an Uber driver, man, the friendlier, the more conversational you are now. That's. That works for me. Some people don't like to talk.

>> Mike: Some people don't like.

>> Darin: Can you imagine not being a person who liked to talk? How can you not like to talk? I don't understand that if you don't like to talk. I think, he's mad at me.

>> Mike: See, I don't think that I, I can sit there in silence for days.

>> Darin: I was, I was in an Uber one time and boy, did I have. I had a rough night sleeping. I had a very stressful few days, going up before that, and I fell asleep in the back seat. I woke up about 10 miles outside of my building. He says, did you enjoy your nap, Mr. Derek? I said, yes, I did.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome. The perfect cure for the hiccups.

>> Mike: That's right. Project Hail Mary.

>> Darin: What a great movie. Oh my Lord, what a great movie. Yeah, I will say, off topic. Which is on topic. We went to see Project Hail Mary at the same theater that would not allow me to bring in my drinks. Oh, I snuck in drinks this week. Screw you, amc. I snuck in my drinks and we snuck in peanut M M's. So.

>> Mike: So the.

>> Darin: But Project Hail Mary was the bomb.

>> Mike: The first thing I noticed about Project Hail Mary. Did you see it at amc?

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: They shortened, Nicole Kidman's thing.

>> Darin: Oh, they shorted. They shortened her thing. Yes. Months, ago.

>> Mike: Oh, really? Okay. We don't, we don't go to the movies that often. So this is the first time we saw the thing where she's like, yeah,

>> Darin: she's got a much shorter thing now. Yeah.

>> Mike: And it's. I was like that. I was in a good mood at that. I was annoyed. The, the previews seemed to go on for 40 to 45 hours.

>> Darin: They did.

>> Mike: And I was so pissed off. And then it showed the foot stepping in the puddle. And I looked over at Bess and she's already smiling because she knows I'm about to lose my mind.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And Charlie. actually, yeah. Charlie's looking over.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I had to think for a second and, it was over before I had a chance to about it. We come to this place for magic.


The Lord of the Rings music is a symphony. A lot of people don't know this

>> Darin: AMC theaters.

>> Mike: We make movies better. From the moment that movie started.

>> Mike: I was enraptured. I got misty. flipping eyed, dude.

>> Darin: Yep.

>> Mike: With, Rocky.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yep. It's a fantastic movie. If you haven't seen it, I'm telling you, it's one of those that you do want to see. In the theater, you want to enjoy it on a. As big a screen as you possibly can because the cinematography was incredible. Ryan Gosling can do no wrong.

>> Mike: He do whatever he wants.

>> Darin: And the, the sound was just unbelievable.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: Yeah, check that out. At the beginning of the podcast, I mentioned that Mike and I, we went on a double date with our wives, as my wife. And we went to see the Lord of the Rings in a candlelight concert. It was a four string quartet. A four. A quartet, string orchestra.

>> Mike: Typically, quartets have four. Four.

>> Darin: That's right. There were two, fiddle players.

>> Mike: I think they could have gotten by with three. I know what the guy was doing. I know what the front lady was doing. and her sister. I get that. But the other lady in the back corner, I don't really know what she was doing.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, she played the viola. That. Okay. So that. That clears that all up.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So, yeah, it's a.

>> Mike: That's like a violin.

>> Darin: It's somewhere between the violin and the cello. Yeah. They were amazing.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It was so funny because the place was sold out. Yeah. Jam packed. And they come out and everybody claps. And the woman there, the. The first, first chair.

>> Mike: Oh, my Lord. You're going first chair.

>> Darin: Fiddle player. Yeah. She asks, do you guys like the Lord of the Rings? Everybody claps. And I wanted to raise my hand. It's like, no, I'm just a fan of candles.

>> Mike: Yeah. Okay.

>> Darin: So they were amazing.

>> Mike: I'm gonna laugh at that one.

>> Darin: Yeah. Because that. That's pretty good. I wrote that yesterday.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I was just waiting and waiting to do that. So they were. They were amazing. And if you're. I don't care if you're a Lord of the Rings fan or not, whether you like the movies or not, the music for it was just insane. Howard Shore. Yeah. Some of the best work, some of the best music that's ever been in a motion.

>> Mike: A lot of people don't know this, but the Lord of the Rings music is a symphony.

>> Darin: Yes. Yes.

>> Mike: It's not like the Foo Fighters or something.

>> Darin: No, no, it's not.

>> Mike: And they took the sound of a symphony and just squashed it down to three. four. Three of them were carrying the weight.

>> Darin: Well, we were sitting right up front, and you had a speaker in front of you where I was.

>> Mike: Nothing coming out of the spot. Oh, yeah. You.

>> Darin: You could see it where I was sitting. I could see when the fiddle players. And I know it's a violin. Don't.


Bryce was the funniest. He was attacking that cello

Don't email me, boy.

>> Mike: When banjos came Out.

>> Darin: Yeah. When the fiddle players would switch the leads. I, could tell that. And then when the. Occasionally the viola player, she would take the lead. And then the two fiddle players would do background music. And when the cello. The dude on the cello. Holy crap. When he would take the lead, it was serious.

>> Mike: If I were going into. If I were in a fight. And I could take one of them with me.

>> Darin: The cello player.

>> Mike: The cello player looked like. And it. Not because he was bigger than everybody.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: He seemed like he could handle himself.

>> Darin: He did.

>> Mike: He went at that cello like it owed him money out of that thing.

>> Darin: If I ran into him out in public. You play the cello.

>> Mike: Yeah. You would think he's. He's, the type of guy that's seen some.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And then decided to take up the cello.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: To get through it. Kind of like Stringfellow, Hawk and Airwolf.

>> Darin: Kind of like, My Uber driver.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: It was two, fiddle players. The first one, a woman, and she says, hi, I'm Janine. I play the fiddle. This is my sister and this is Karen or Jill or whoever.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: On the viola.

>> Mike: And then there's Bryce.

>> Darin: Bryce, Bobby Bryce on the cello. And she would introduce a couple songs and hand the mic over to Bryce. Bryce was the funniest. Yeah, yeah, he was the.

>> Mike: He said Arwen was his bae.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I thought she was his boo. Bae. No, he's the boo. She's the bay. She's the bae. Yeah. So, he was funny. And then the, the younger sister on second fiddle introduced a song, but

>> Mike: Sally in the back say anything.

>> Darin: Sally on viola was like, no. Yeah, like she's in witness protection or something. Yeah, I.

>> Mike: She wasn't really. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: But it was.

>> Mike: I enjoyed. Now, I don't want. I don't want letters from Sally. Listen, it was a quartet.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And I know how those work. You gotta have four people in a quartet now. I'm just saying, I don't think it was 25. 25. 25.

>> Darin: 25, I think.

>> Mike: I think.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Might have been 30 little players contributed.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah. Like 60. And then. And then Bryce was like 35.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: In the viola.

>> Mike: but Bryce was playing double duty. He was. He was attacking that cello. And he was also, you know, ready to just throw down if anybody went up there.

>> Darin: If anybody rushed the stage. Some ass.

>> Mike: Yeah. He would have. For Frodo, that cello down on their head.


Bridwood says Metallica played two songs from Return of the King

>> Darin: Speaking of Frodo. So when the second violin player, when it's her turn, she announced that they're going to play two songs from Return of the King, which you're a fan of Lord of the Rings. That was the third in the series. We're going to play, this song I can't remember the name of. And then the Black Gate. That's when I looked at Mike and

>> Mike: I said, right of the rehearsal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: And the people behind us, boy, they got a laugh out of that.

>> Mike: So the first song that they play was the right of the Hero.

>> Darin: Right of their here.

>> Mike: And embedded in that is the lighting of the beacons. Which, the kids, my kids will tell you whenever we watch Lord of the Rings, dad stands up at some point in every movie. and I always, ah. When they're lighting the beacons, I can't sit. It's like I'm at a concert and I gotta stand up. I'm like, this is, this is the, the music is swelling. It's like, boom, here we go now.

>> Darin: Which can you imagine, by the way, having that job working the beacon and you're sitting there for months, years, like,

>> Mike: oh yeah, I kind of like the beacon.

>> Darin: This is what we trained for.

>> Mike: You know, I gotta, I gotta think there's gotta be one beacon guy that's like, I don't believe it. They're not really going home. I think they screw. I think that guy screwed up. I don't think we're supposed to be doing this right.

>> Darin: But then, that was how they emailed people.

>> Mike: So I've seen the entire Lord of the Rings series because once I watch one, I'm watching the other two.

>> Darin: I agree.

>> Mike: And the Hobbit, sometimes, but always the Lord of the Rings.

>> Darin: Right. I've watched them in their entirety 3,

>> Mike: 4 times, 5 times. I saw Return of the King 3 times in the theater.

>> Darin: I did too.

>> Mike: And I have seen it countless times at home. And every. You can count single time.

>> Mike: That I watch Return of the King, you can set your clock by it. By the clock. I say set your cock by it. Set your clock by it.

>> Darin: Or you can set your fire.

>> Mike: For the last, for the last 30 to 45 minutes. I'm gonna be bawling my eyes. Like ugly crying.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Like embarrassing crying. Yes. In the future when we go visit, you know, Andrew or Charlie's family, right. And everybody says, let's watch Return of the King. They're going to have to have a thing. Listen, Dad's going to break down. Dad's got a start just bawling. And it, I tell you what, the one that turned when I think I'm done crying. The final song of Return of the King into the West. It's. It's like. It's like somebody just, like, fed me some Gatorade and I just. I'm, all over again. There were a couple of notes of into the west at the end of that Return of the King thing, and it was like. It was like a switch. Tears started to form. I was like, come on, don't cry in the front row. Darren's here.

>> Darin: It.

>> Mike: This is just. This can't happen.

>> Darin: Hundreds of hundreds of people.

>> Mike: And they love. Candles stopped. And then it went over to, Sally's sister and she said, we're going to play some, you know, fun, some extra things. There it is.

>> Dave: Whatever.

>> Mike: I'm too sexy for this shirt. And then we're gonna finish it out with into the West. And I. Boy, you talk about white, knuckling it through that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I told Bess. I was like, this is. I'm not gonna make it. I'm gonna be just an absolute mess. But I made it. I made it.

>> Darin: It was amazing.

>> Mike: Really, really good.

>> Darin: I don't know if they have Candlelight concerts where you guys are. I was looking on their, schedule. They're gonna have a tribute to Metallica.

>> Mike: Yeah, we could do Metallica. Yes, they do Lord of the Rings. I, mean, if they're Potter near you, just skip that. Who needs. No, nobody needs that.

>> Darin: They said, we've done Fleetwood Mac, We've done a tribute to the Beatles. Coming up, we're going to do music from Bridgerton. And there was this woman in the front row.


There were moments when I thought I was better than everyone else in Cincinnati

Her hands went up in the air and she gasped like, oh my God. Yeah, Bridgerton.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I leaned over like, are you all right? So she can't wait to see Bridgerton. But.

>> Mike: So it's if. If it's called Candlelight Concert by Fever.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: That's. That's what.

>> Darin: Check the website. If they're anywhere near you. Oh my God.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So entertaining. And I will be honest. And you and I were talking about this because after the show we went to dinner and Mike asked me right before I asked him. He's like, were you judging people who didn't come? It's like, yes, yes. Mike and I and Bess and my wife Libby, we were sitting there and while the girls were just enjoying the show, I was secretly judging everyone who wasn't there. Why, Mikey, I and I are there getting some culture and all these other dumbasses are sitting home watching motorcycles jump Over. That's Cars on Fire.

>> Mike: I mean, that gets me every time, too, but, you know, every once in a while.

>> Darin: Go ahead, eat another bag of Cheetos there, dumbass. I did.

>> Mike: I did. There was a. There was a few moments where I just. I thought there were. There was more than a few times when I was sitting there listening to this string quartet, and I thought, I'm better than everyone else in Cincinnati. M. At this moment, and for that matter, all of Ohio.

>> Darin: I am getting culture out the wazoo.

>> Mike: Somewhere, someone is snorting a beer pong. Is that what you do?

>> Darin: Yes, you snort.

>> Mike: Snort a beer pong. Meanwhile, I'm listening to Bilbo's birthday party on the. On the Volvo, or whatever the hell that is.

>> Darin: On the Volvo. I don't think it means what you think it means.

>> Mike: That's culture, man.

>> Darin: I've never seen anyone play that on the Volvo.

>> Mike: No, that's, You got to be careful. You still want to tangle the strings,

>> Darin: But.

>> Mike: Yeah, we're. We're better than you because we went to this culture. Yeah, we're better.


Sally says she accidentally sat at the wrong table at a restaurant

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by Whompers. All Beef Footlong hot dogs, voted best hot dog for the seventh year in a row by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Association. Whompers are made from 100% pure beef with no fillers and no preservatives. Get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your hot dog isn't a foot long, they'll refund your money, guaranteed.

>> Darin: Mmm.

>> Dave: Whompers. Now back to the show.

>> Darin: Boy, I had a senior moment, okay? I absolutely had a senior moment. Libby and I, we were invited out to dinner with our friend Dan and Regina, okay? And we went to this restaurant called the North Star Cafe, okay?

>> Mike: Viking Joint.

>> Darin: No, it's in the Liberty.

>> Mike: We've been there.

>> Darin: North Star Cafe. My favorite thing about the North Star is this. They have, like, homemade soda. You can't just get a Coke. You get soda that they make there, right? And you got to get the BlackBerry soda. Okay. The black cherry soda.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: So we're sitting there, and we're having a great conversation with. There's Dan and Regina on one side, and there's me and Libby on the other side. Yeah. And I said, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get some more soda. And I went. And I'm so excited about my black cherry soda. And I'm walking back to the table, and I'm not really thinking about what I'm doing. I sat down and I looked up to tell Dan this soda is delicious. Dan's not there. Okay. Where did Dan go? And then I looked over at this woman. I was like, you're not Regina. And then I looked to my right, and the woman sitting next to me now, that's not Libby.

>> Mike: You sat at someone else's table?

>> Darin: At the wrong table.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: I plopped right down, and, boy, did I scare the out of them. Yeah. The look on their face is like, what are you doing? And, oh, my God, I got beat red. And I said, I have sat at the wrong table. I am going to move. I wish you ladies a good evening, and let's just forget this ever happened.

>> Mike: So how long are you actually sitting there?

>> Darin: Oh, about three or four seconds before I realized what happened. When I was. What I was doing long enough. Well, yeah, the average person would be like, hot potato. Wrong seat, wrong table. move. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So the very next table. Boy, Dan, Regina and Libby thought that was funny.

>> Mike: Do you ever wonder when you. When you do something like, I'm m.

>> Darin: Probably going to be the subject of their podcast.

>> Mike: That's what I'm saying. You ever wonder how your experience is framed elsewhere? So this is going to be. This is how we framed it. But were you, Did they go home and say, oh, the funniest thing happened? Yeah. Is it this nasty man? A nasty man.

>> Darin: They were cool.

>> Mike: Sat down.

>> Darin: They did not think I was nasty.

>> Mike: He was staring at Sally.

>> Darin: They did not think I was nasty. Okay. They were. They actually said, you're welcome to sit here longer if you want. Oh, that could have stayed. Yeah. So. So we had. Libby and I had that experience at a restaurant. The next night, you and I went with, Bess and Libby. After the Lord of the Rings show. We went to a restaurant called Incline.

>> Mike: It was in Nepal on top of the mountain.

>> Darin: You could see the entire Cincinnati skyline from high atop this perched mountain. Kind of like where they lit the, beacons. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.


Libby and Bess had dinner at the Incline in Cincinnati

>> Darin: Safe to say dinner wasn't amazing. Well, at the Incline. More like. More like decline.

>> Mike: After I.

>> Darin: You know what I mean?

>> Mike: Yeah. After I wrestled my dinner away from the, tauntaun. So I wanted to be a little, saucy here. I'm looking at what they got, and I could have done the fish and chips. And now looking back, I probably should have.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But I saw that they had a hot honey pizza. Oh. And then I was. It was between that and there was a, beef stir fry thing that Bess ended up getting. And it was between those two. And I asked the waitress, which was better. And she said the hot honey, cheese pizza was better. And basically what it is, is they went to. I, think there's a middle school near there, and they took the pizza away from the kids eating lunch, and then they poured a bunch of honey on it.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And then they put it in front of me. It was, I did not have a good time eating that. And then I noticed that Bess was chewing the first bite of her food. We were paying the check, I think, when she was still eating that first. Because, like, a dog food, it wasn't beef. It was like that m. That Kong material that you give to your dogs.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: And Bess asked if, you know, I asked, I will take the fall for this. I said, do you want to trade? Because I. This hot honey pizza is disgusting. I would like you, my love, to have this, and I will take what you're eating. That look delicious. And she said yes.

>> Darin: She said, okay.

>> Mike: I've been married.

>> Darin: Someone more game to try something.

>> Mike: I've been married. We've been married for so long. That should have given me pause, but it didn't, because I was freezing. I wasn't thinking clearly. And like I said, I took one. One of the bite, and it just would not. It wouldn't chew.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. It was bad. You guys got chicken and waffles, and it looked, a freaking amazing.

>> Darin: Yeah. Ah.

>> Mike: Which.

>> Darin: The chicken was dry.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And the waffles weren't hot. Yeah. Libby was hoping that the butter on top of the waffle would have. I don't know. Melted.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Which it didn't.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So the waffles were dry. The chicken was dry. It wasn't a good experience.

>> Mike: You would think that a restaurant that has that view.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Of Cincinnati would be, like, one of the top restaurants in the city.

>> Darin: And what's really wild was when we were paying the check because I kept saying, guys, you don't like your food, Tell the waitress that you're not happy with the food. That's too tough. It tastes like ass. And you could have gotten something else, and neither of you know, would do that. You're so nice. Yeah. They really are nice people, despite what you hear about them on this podcast.

>> Mike: We gave, like, an extra tip, but we paid for her first kids college.

>> Darin: We did everything we could, but Bess said this. the steak in the stir fry is really hard to chew. And the waiter said, quote, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. We've. We've quote, we've Heard that.

>> Mike: Yeah, we've heard that multiple times.

>> Darin: No. but I'm sorry. Is there anything we could do to help, or. Can we get something? Usually. Usually you go to a restaurant, if you're dissatisfied with the meal, they try to, you know, make.

>> Mike: Do something.

>> Darin: Can we give you half off on a dessert? Can we do something to make your experience a little better? But she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've heard that people.


There are still people alive who think that the moon landing was fake

People have a really hard time chewing that steak. You got that right?

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. Darren was. Was cracking us all up, because he was reenacting the moment where, you know, Beth says, this was tough. And he's like. She's like, you damn right. I broke a molar off on that thing. That's like, oh, my gosh.

>> Darin: Oh. And then I embarrassed the hell out of you guys because. And this pisses me off. This is another senior moment. I hate going to a restaurant. And, like. Like, I asked, what beer do you have on tap? Oh, if you scan the QR code, our draft list, I'm like, why can't you just put the beer list on a sheet? Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so I made a bigger deal about it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Than I normally would have, but I was having a good time, and I told the waitress, I said, no. one, my phone doesn't do that. To which Libby said, gat does. And Mike said, gat does. And then I said, the last eight times we've been out, you guys have tried it, and it doesn't. Okay. Two, you scan that QR code, and that puts your name on a list. And then.

>> Mike: Oh,

>> Darin: yeah. So we. They weren't having that.

>> Mike: No, no, no. Oh.

>> Darin: I was on Facebook, and I was going through the videos, and I saw this video of a guy, and. And I don't know why this came up, why this popped up in my algorithm, but it did. Somebody was tying this knot. They were tying a tarp down to a post, and they tied this knot. And I wouldn't think that tying a knot would cause a ruckus, would cause people to be outraged, but outrage happened. M. Because all these. Not purists, these people were claiming. Not purists, obviously, this is AI if it were real, pulling on the tail like that would cause the grommet to leave the chat and take the corner of the tarp with it. Okay. I mean, and that someone else is pulling sideways shortens the lifespan of the grommet stopper. Not flat against grommet. Much better.

>> Mike: I tell you what, if you don't have your stopper flat against the grommet. You're gonna have a bad date.

>> Darin: Oh, here. What is that? Half hitch?

>> Mike: Yeah, whole hitch. Or go home.

>> Darin: What? All these people bitching about a knot. Yeah, about a knot. So what do I do? I love to go in, and I like to start. I go in and I said, well, the moon is flat, so it doesn't really matter how they tied the knot. I have decided that anytime there is an argument whether it's David Lee Roth is better than Sammy Hagar, well, the moon is flat, so it doesn't really matter who's the better singer. That's what I'm doing. Because I got into a conversation online because, today, April Fool's Day, our astronauts are up in the space, and they're circling, our moon. I was on the moon.

>> Mike: Houston, we have a problem.

>> Darin: There are still people alive who think that the moon landing was fake. Yeah. That's one small step for man, one

>> Mike: giant leap for man.

>> Darin: And so I go in. Well, the moon is. Moon's flat, so it doesn't really matter whether we landed on it or not. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm gonna do that every single time.

>> Mike: Yeah. I mean, with the moon, the planets

>> Darin: are flat, the moon is flat, our sun. Don't get me started on how.

>> Mike: Here's the deal. Here's the deal. And I want you guys to try to follow me on this. the. The moon. You're right. The moon is flat. It's flat. So if they tried to land on it, they're just gonna slide right off.

>> Darin: Right off that mother.

>> Mike: Fall right down. Like, what, on the North Pole?

>> Darin: Yes. And we all know how painful that can be.

>> Mike: Santa ain't got time for that.

>> Darin: No.


Keith Urban is releasing an album of yacht rock classics next week

Mike, I am so excited. Oh, I've been wanting to talk about this for a couple of weeks. I found out that Keith Urban. Pretty boy, Australian country singer extraordinary. Keith Urban, is releasing an album full of yacht rock classics. Okay, I'm gonna get in line. After we record this podcast, I'm gonna get in line, and I'm gonna stand there, and I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna buy the first copy of this cd. I may buy it on album. Okay, I can't wait.

>> Mike: Why don't we steal the way into the night? Keith Urban, Is he country?

>> Darin: He is a country singer. Yes. But you'd swear that he's a rock star because he's. He's all tatted up. He's sexy. He and, Nikki, Kidman, are, They're. Well, they're going through divorce, so. Hey, Girls, he's single or he's about to be available. But anyway, I'm not kidding. I cannot wait to buy this Yacht Rock Classics, okay. Cover album. I'm gonna listen to it head to toe, top to bottom. Okay. I can't wait. All right. Do you remember when we. When we were on Chris and Lonely island, we were on Chris and Gene in the morning, and before I left, I said, would it kill you some Robbie Dupree? And then Chris o' Brien played it. That was awesome.

>> Mike: That was awesome.

>> Dave: What's your favorite yacht rock song? Tell us now at our Facebook page or message us at Irritable dad syndrome dot com.

>> Darin: Rush are back. Rush performed at the, the Juno Awards. They're like the Canadian version of the Grammys.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, boy, the haters came out.

>> Mike: It's like, you know, we have awards too. Exactly. yeah, I'll be listening.

>> Darin: You're laughing at that. Next Wednesday. No, they were. I thought they were great.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I thought Annika, the new drummer, I thought she sounded amazing. But you go into the comments, and they're like, well, of course they're gonna play a song that wasn't one of Neil's.

>> Mike: Okay, what the hell? What song did they play?

>> Darin: Finding My Way. Okay. The first song off their first album, right?

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: I thought she was amazing, and then some dumbass is like, she's using thicker symbols than Neil used, dude. She's using a different kit. She's got a different style. The thing with Rush is that they're best friends since they were in elementary school, and they're performing music together again. And this is what Neil would have wanted. And so what did I do? I got into the comics and I said, the moon is flat, so it doesn't really matter how well she plays the drums. It just doesn't matter.


Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odel Darren Cox production

Guys, our computer is about to shut down, so we're gonna wrap this up. We want you to go to irritable dad syndrome.com, get every episode we have there. Go to Patreon, send us money. That'd be fantastic. And we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odel Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: Clear. Okay. I'm okay. Never made you laugh that hard.

>> Mike: Versus a peppermint fan. I like that. If it. If they hit the moon too hard when landing, they'll spin like a quarter. That's why Rudolph's nose.

>> Darin: right.

>> Mike: Yes. Don't either.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. About 5:30. Yeah. Yo, my first name ain't, baby. It's Darren. Ms. Jackson. If you're nasty, who's that eating that nasty fruit?

>> Mike: That's my, That's my new favorite thing. I'll just randomly throw that. At best, she'll be like, is it just another two miles? I'm m. Like, yeah. Three of your nasty. I love it. Hold on. Are you holding on?

>> Darin: I am holding on for dear life. Let's go here. Hold on, I'm coming.

>> Mike: I don't even know why we have a. It's on. It's on X. I don't even know why we have an X thing.

>> Darin: Hold on. The, I'm coming.

>> Mike: You know the slurp. You know how the slurping bothers you when you get off on a musical tear? That just. Okay, I'm going to slurp now. I wasn't planning on it, but now I'm going to. Cuz you earned it.

>> Darin: You can't make my day any worse.

>> Mike: Hold on.

>> Darin: I got. I'm coming.

>> Mike: I got coconut flavored, creamer in this.

>> Darin: Oh, the coconut cocoa nut.

>> Mike: I don't even know what that. Here's what I have for my own personal rundown.

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Mike: Key in the wheel well. Spectrum, rhymes with rectrum.

>> Darin: Key in the willow well. Oh.

>> Mike: Key in the wheel well.

>> Darin: Two bits.

>> Mike: It's been a long day, kids.

>> Darin: It has.

>> Mike: need to get this thing aimed up there. There it is. That reminds me of college. I love every single time he's on Saturday Night Live. I watch all the clips. Did you? And you saw the one.

>> Darin: You're killing me. Which.

>> Mike: And YouTube's free.

>> Darin: You.

>> Mike: I'm sorry.

>> Darin: Wow. We can't say that.

>> Mike: Yeah, I didn't say that.

>> Darin: You can't say that.

>> Mike: Are we live now? Oh, my God.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I can't say that. Okay.

>> Darin: Cannot say that.

>> Mike: You know what we're going to do? Oh, we'll keep going.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Who cares at this point?

>> Darin: can you edit that off or,

>> Mike: Kisses.

>> Darin: Kisses.

>> Mike: Kisses.


Kisses. What does that mean? It is close to us. We really like that.

>> Darin: Kisses.

>> Mike: kisses.

>> Darin: What does that mean? It is close to us. And then you might be better off without chopstick. We really like that.