The Podcast for People with No Friends!
July 27, 2021

IDS #48 - We Could Hand Out Butter

IDS #48 - We Could Hand Out Butter

The guys are going to be on Wisdom (maybe?) - also, Darin's kid gets a huge present.  Kroger stories abound, and there is some serious cereal talk.  A fun anthrax story, as well as a small return of "Just Stop" - the technology edition.  Yet more Rocky talk, and a story from Darfin that will have you searching for the front door.

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Transcript

00:00:00  What do you think about doing a podcast with somebody that you can't stand?

00:00:06  Now that you're not listening to now. We're your host Mike and Darren. Hey everybody I'm Darren I might welcome to irritable dad syndrome. We're on, I can't believe we're on episode 48. 48 is an even number again. It isn't even ever going to stop with the man. We had one episode a month and this will be our four year anniversary.

00:00:37  But it's not, and we don't, I don't know what I'm doing but it's, you know, I'm getting I'm getting nervous though, because we're only for away from that year in and I'm wondering, do we do we do if we can't stand up? Well, we haven't, we haven't started for past my plan. This is my week of vacation, okay? And one of the things I was going to do was create the year and episode, okay. Going to do that, right? Because like, when you came over, I told you I'm not doing anything this week. Nothing productive at all. I tentatively agreed to edit this episode, and I will do, but I don't think I'm going to do anything else. I'm going to play video games, right? I'm going to eat random things tonight. I had watermelon for dinner. Okay, watermelon. Okay, I like how you said you going to eat something randomly. Like, did you just go blindfolded and grab something and this is what I'm going.

00:01:36  Eat and it had a watermelon know. We had a watermelon. Haha, I didn't for some reason, I'm not hungry tonight and I just like when you have a fever, no. Okay. I've been scratching fleas quite a bit, but I just wanted watermelon. So I sat on my back porch, you you, as you came in and out on the back deck, I was playing Candy Crush which I've gotten back into on vacation. I love candy on Candy, Crush. Friends, have you play Candle in the Wind with the would like to do? You want to play the thing with like the yeti real? Yeah, it's that one. What? Level you on 100 something from Dad's doing it again? Like I'm smoking crack yet, hardcore Gamers. I'd like one Candy Crush came out. A lot of hardcore gamer cuz I'm a gamer and I follow in those circles they were like, poo, poo in it. And I'm

00:02:36  I'm a hardcore, hardcore. I'm more hardcore than any of you mother scratchers yet and I think it's awesome.

00:02:43  I mean I was down with Mario before you even know who Mario. What? Yeah, yeah, I've been in. I've squared twice a day. You never been to. I was what I was when the video game Crash hit and 83 and everything moved, the computers look in front of your son. That's the computer. Everything was moved from right there. Right there for Commodore 64 baseball. And yeah, chicks, lemon trees. I'm playing Dungeons & Dragons on a Commodore 64, like a baller.

00:03:17  The nearby came back around when the Nintendo here when I was a kid, yars Revenge ago and I will we played a lot of Pitfall, lot of asteroids. I've always said that if aliens ever attack the planet, I hope they do it in rows of eight going right and left directly above the exact skilled at shooting aliens that way. Can I tell you something about asteroids, a specifically on the three? Twenty-six hundred played that? I was so good at that. That when I visited my cousin's, we played that it was one of those things. Like, the parents wanted to be upstairs and talk adult things, right? At the, the cousins be downstairs. We played asteroids, and I was playing a game and they were so shocked, they kept going up stairs, I would the only reason we quit playing this cuz I got bored hours going on one-on-one game like this for was like, it was insane.

00:04:17  Yeah, you can. And I told it's a term called you turned it over? Yeah. I told the kindest 9000, right? Yeah. So I got these. I got the, the game. Again. I got a, I have a Raspberry Pi. What's that? Google it. Anyway, I got the an emulator. So I have been playing like, the asteroids that I played, and I'm telling the kids, how I was like a baller, and I keep this going to be my turn. My usual. I couldn't last more than 2 minutes and they're and they're both like, what other lies have you told us?

00:04:54  What where it where else my brother when we were kids was playing asteroids he would stay in the center. He's one of those Business Center in her whole thing over like seven times, coward and say something good about what I'm saying is. Yeah, he turned it over and he need to do that. He was like, bang bang. Bang, boom, boom, boom. Bang bang. Bang. Turn over like seven times and then he's like, I've got to get bored of it. I got to go get all of my life. Yeah, yeah. So good time after I was done with the Atari 2600, I play video games for years. I do love candy, crush, candy crush. It's just, it's like Mindless, you know, I would go your mind understands like, way back in there, you know, it's basically a slot machine.

00:05:54  It's like random, but it's got just that touch of skill to where you think that you're doing something smart and then they look like candy and what is called Candy Crush, but I mean, they look like actual, they're like really good-looking. I want to eat. I want to eat that, you know, last year when I was working from home for 15 months. Yeah. Every day, I would drive Jacob to school. And then after 2, when you get out, I drive to the school and I will wait and get him. So I used to have a phone and old phone that was horrible. That was just it was just dying a slow and painful death. I bought a new phone that actually had some space on it and like I can actually put games on this because I hadn't had room for anything. So I downloaded Candy Crush again and I can sit in the car and play it and it was just oh my God I would like to leave to get Jacob an hour early so I can sit in the car.

00:06:52  I'm kidding Libby. I'm kidding. I didn't do that. But yeah, I was just like it's mindless, you just sit. Well, that's that's why I told you to come around to the back instead of coming to the front cuz I didn't want to interrupt my game, a Candy Crush. Come answer the door. Welcome to your evil dad Centrum. Hey, we're going to be on wisdom soon. To tell me what is wisdom? I don't know. I got an email. That said you're at, when did we are now at top mentor and wisdom in the comedy category? So I guess if you have a problem with your comedy, give us a call as we know, Dee has the title of the show. I mean, it's going to look at the other ones of listeners. We have ran off the top of my head. Five people who think we're hilarious. Okay, Jason Ferrell. Steve Ferrell.

00:07:52  I was her name. Our kids are getting away. Kid, your kids don't think. I'm funny and really think I'm funny, but Charlie thinks I'm hilarious. And you think I'm funny. Actually made Andrew laugh, like crazy one night. I think he does. Okay? Okay, so there you go, for at least you're funny. That's all I need. I think you're funny sometimes, sometimes, I think you're funny but I'm not one to throw things at you.

00:08:16  Anyway, we're on this thing. Apparently, that's going to be launched in the summer. Sometime, good description, like we're in the summer right now. I'm a thing, that'll be launched sometime somewhere anyway, it's like, if you have a problem with your comedy, I'll give I don't know what the hell you'll call us on there.

00:08:33  And I'll get on and be like, hey, I Mike like I I'm trying to do a knock-knock joke and it's not funny. Well, try it out on me. Okay, knock knock. And I say, who's there and then silent? Well, okay. Your problem is, you need to have something after who's there, okay. So, does the knock-knock joke work. If you ring the doorbell or I mean, the other one, is it the classic anti knock-knock joke as the interrupting cow and I know not doing that. You got to be right there on that move, right? If you're late on the Move, that's didn't look like it and that's what I do at parties now, whenever dinner up Tin Cow, knock-knock, joke comes up, is everyone knows the knock knock interrupting cow joke. So allow me to demonstrate what I'll do in public now. Knock knock, who's there? Interrupting cow interrupting, cow who moo?

00:09:25  Call Mike and Erin fry, your comedy advice. That's why I will help you out o my God. So yeah, I don't know. They said they love quote. I love, we love. I can't Rivers, I are weeds. Love your podcast. Would you were in the war in the end then it is in bold, comedy category. Whenever there is a I looked up our podcast.

00:09:58  But let me tell you about some people who do think we're funny. Okay, so Olivia went and got her hair did, and the Germans basement is okay for? Well, her kids wanted to listen to an episode of the lore podcast for kids. R kids are big fans of episode you farting in your office, the kids had tears coming out of their eyes. They were wrong and she was absolutely, we were cackling at us talking about farting in your office so there you go. Funny guy, bone, suckin mustard is delicious, especially on a Whoppers. All the footlong hot dog and nothing tastes better with a hot dog than a nice cold bottle of crank Cola. You know, last week I was Dripping some wallpaper

00:10:58  Rough of my oldest son's bedroom. And of course, I was using diff liquid concentrated wallpaper stripper. Well, my son came in and was like, Hey, Dad, that I have a bottle of drink and I said sure, son. It was one of those father-son moments that you just don't get every day. Where was I? Oh bone-sucking mustard. It's not mustard unless it's bone-sucking mustard. Now back to the show. Well, we had a, a Monumental occasion at the house. The other day I was missing last week. My oldest son is now 17 years old. Take Jacob, he's not Jake. He doesn't want to be called JL. Okay? No, he doesn't want to. He doesn't look like he just does. Want to be called, J know. I keep telling you to the ob. What's up with that? Don't you

00:11:57  We don't speak about Jay Leno. I understand. So 217 birthday. My mom came here from Tennessee to visit and she wanted to be there for his party. So we're having a very low-key party. He only had two or three friends come over and I didn't even know, I still drop them off at Kings Island. So the rule is he does have a driver's license but he's not driving with people in the car yet at the house and I were playing afterwards and my mom gets a phone call.

00:12:43  We got to go outside, not a good but we we got to go up there on fire. There's a your birthday present is coming up. A package is coming and we need to go outside so that you can see it when it comes out and we're like, what's going on here? So we're going outside. Jacob as he's walking out, gets my mom's dog, a Yorkie. He puts on the leaves and goes outside and I grab something real quick. I went outside. Jacob is nowhere to be seen.

00:13:15  Like I thought we would does anybody where is Cameron if you start aching and like, a Stephen King novel, that has no one knows where Jacob is. He took the dog for a walk. When a package is coming, okay, the package is coming over last week when we said that he zones out, he doesn't hurry, he's eBay, but he may think it's, like, in the Christmas story, the package has a yellow of a pink bunny costume party to this at all. So anyway, we're standing there in the driveway. And next thing, you know, this car pulls up in front of the house and then right behind it is another car that pulls into our driveway, the blue car, parked on the street, the white car, pulled up into the driveway at Living are like, who are these people the woman gets out of the blue car and she looks at me somebody brought back up so if you're bringing the package, why is he here?

00:14:09  The woman gets out of the blue car and points at the white car and says, there it is.

00:14:16  The only possible response to that is no.

00:14:20  What do you mean? And I'm like, just looking up with you that she says.

00:14:24  You don't know what's going on, do you? Which is the motto for my life? And like, I don't have a clue as a mom tells us that she bought Jacob. This car birthday. Jacob still not here.

00:14:39  How did you know that? Your mom was very surprised. All right. So yeah, I like delivering a pizza by surprise. I know automobile a car. It's a Mitsubishi sport utilities for something something. Okay. I should be seized when the lady said that, yeah, that's pretty accurate. I don't know what's going on but so he has a brand new car and I should. Yeah, he's so excited. And the cool thing is, is, you know, I was driving him to school in the morning. I don't have to do that. Now when he goes to marching band when he's, you know, he took himself to marching band yesterday and the day before and marching band was over with

00:15:37  Wow. The convenience of having a third car and the Uber convenience of not having to constantly pick up, or how can I get in and I'll drop them off. Let me get, let me ask you this. When we kick off our, you're double dead center of world tour at the Crowbar, right? Is he able to take us to and bring us back from the Crowbar? That's you know what we'll find out. I will pose that question. Interesting question, I will go get them out a long journey, know it's not right there, it's the only. I mean, there is a moral question if you want to take your dad to his friend and going to see him pop back into the car drunk. Mike shut up. Shut up to you take me to McDonald.

00:16:32  I have a crowbar story. Do you yeah? For people, listen, you know, we've talked about Kroger, I think everybody showed up every every episode, why they don't sponsor, this podcast anyone from Kroger, is like, I wonder if anybody has said, I thought about, I'm a send them an email saying, why do you, why do you keep showing up on the airport at syndrome? I might make like, a burner email account, chuck chuck steak at gmail.com.

00:17:12  Listen to this podcast.

00:17:18  These two jackals keep talking about you and the Crowbar would rather what is is I had to go to Kroger. I needed to get pancake mix. That's all I needed. When you need pancake mix. You need pancake. Yes, you do this quick or do you do like, Aunt, Jemima fluffy fluffy. Nothing to do with the story. Doesn't go ahead. So usually when I go to Kroger, I have the first thing I do is I go into the produce section. I get my bananas, bananas first, very specific bananas. Then I get whatever else he wants me to get the cherries with strawberries and blackberries the, he's what I call it and then whatever salad stuff she wants. An avocado Tomatoes, whatever. So I was at the produce section first and then I cut through the the deli Bakery and I pass a crowbar when I get to the meat that's when I get my ground chuck.

00:18:18  Now that I take, when I have so many things in common, we should do a podcast.

00:18:24  That's the usual route that I take and do occasionally. I'm sorry, when you're on this journey, do occasionally stop because you hear somebody with an acoustic guitar and you noticed the Crowbar has like live, may be gone by when they have live music. What if you do? That's what I'm getting ready to tell you.

00:18:41  Welcome back, welcome back. So this time, I didn't go, my normal route that cut Street store, to get to the pancake switch is on the same as the serial it is. And I here, I want to go to court house over probably from the Crowbar. There's a dude, over there with an acoustic guitar, singing, his heart. I heard it in a

00:19:06  Everybody 8 feet long or whatever the word is. So any of those nights, we need to go there when what nights are those that they have a guy there so I don't know. But I'm like, and it sounds like it's just hopping, right? So out of curiosity, I double back over to the Crowbar. Yeah, there's four people on Black Oak, Arkansas. Molly, Hatchet, I don't know. And he's just tearing it up. Sounds really good. Goes, you're a b side. He's playing.

00:19:55  No, but I see like that's when I have that. Thought we need to be here. We need to do something. And I had all kinds of thoughts of things that we could do without butter.

00:20:08  Are so hateful things that we could do. We could have, I mean, we can have some real fan events, their shop with Mike and Erin, and Alex butter. Extra sexy, my daughter who's really listen to this show. By the way, if your new Lister and you can listen back to the episodes and understand why I said that you win a prize and I don't know what it is yet, but email less when you figure it out and tell us why we're still paying that thing off for these guys were giving it away.

00:20:55  I got another Kroger store, don't go to the Kroger late at night. I went like a, there's a, there's a point there. Like vampires come out, or something. I didn't realize.

00:21:09  The mistake. I was making until I got to the register, but I'm going to the store I cross paths with this lady. I have to smile as she smiles, and then 3 or 4 hours down the road. I cross paths with her, again, that we made a connection. I do. I know you from back here in the ramen noodles. Anyway, haha, Davis, Pastor twice, and now we have this connection or whatever. I'm at the register. And there are the line goes out for the register and then takes a left and goes like 5 people down. It's like we're at Walmart, you know, how they never open up more than one register at Walmart. This is what was going on with that. There's one register open, no bad person. And I'm, this is not a mitch. So, the lady who I cross paths with twice,

00:22:02  Gets behind me and she looks amazing. She smells she says I'll be back in a minute.

00:22:08  And then she walks away. What are you her boss? If you like, I'm not, you know, like I was going to worry, or am I responsible for you holding her space? And I went that an okay time crap, I forgot to look for bread, you run back into whatever you say I forgot one thing. Can you hold my eyes are Triscuits? She walks down to like register one and then turned around and walk back. And then walk to register one and turn down a walk back, and she looks Macy. She's broken. She says, I'm getting my steps in thing on her wrist.

00:23:01  And then a Fitbit. Got a friend, that is a fit box. So, she leaves her whole cart because she's getting her steps in. And I told her, I said, you know, I walked to her car. I know. I know she says, I'm trying to get my 10,000 steps and I was like, you know, if you sat there just tap your foot, you know, you could get you but then she got tired of walking and she just started walking in place. It's like the right to the right to the left. She's going to go. Okay, everything through some deep dban.

00:23:41  After the nose into the mouth around, like a robot sizing.

00:24:05  Oh my god. Do I ask you if I want to be the first person had like $250, a person was a decent amount. I finally got through there and ask the cashier, I said what happened to all the bag help. She said, what happened to all the cash? I have you noticed that? I'm the only one here and God love her. She was so sweet, and funny and nice. And, you know, it's like and I'm really good at back in groceries. If I can brag about anything, I can buy groceries, I'm glad you like to try to do a ride, or do you screwed up? And I screwed up intentionally. I put the bread in, with old stuff, for cold stuff, with a cereal. You try to make equal distribution of way because you don't want one to way 40001 weigh 4, lb,

00:25:05  The groceries so that when you put them away, all the produce is in one place and you put it away. Okay? Good to go into the panther, you don't bag like a sociopath. What are some? I want to talk about the Baggers? I understand that the backing people at Kroger. I've got, there's an issue here for me and it hit this last time that I went. Because when you mentioned the $250 grocery thing Bill, sometimes sometimes I hit that I'm out. I'm like, you know what, I'm buying food for the next two weeks. I don't care, right? And I just buy all kinds of stuff, ice cream, probably. So when you go to the Kroger,

00:25:45  Occasionally your left a bag. Your own stuff is everywhere. But most of the time somebody comes over and bags and I don't know what the algorithm is that decides whether your bag in your own stuff, or somebody's going to come over or what's the worst case you're doing it. And somebody comes over in the middle and then it's like a battle of the the the the Packers, the net worth of battle, if it becomes the Battle of bagging Theory, okay? All right, where I bag of certain way now they're back in a different way, they're handing me things before I need them. I bought a watermelon, I want the watermelon. First that goes on the bottom, the bottom, I don't want the watermelon, after all, my chips and cakes and stuff, that's horrible for pictures. And then you put your sodas or watermelon, drop it like a freaking Hindenburg in the middle of all that stuff. You don't want to do that. So that happened that happened to me. I got like, 250

00:26:45  Dollars worth of groceries $231. Okay. And I'm, I'm like somebody better be coming up to bag this soon because I cannot back all this stuff and I put my card and I do the thing redo your card. I get her in my number cuz I don't have a Kroger card. I haven't had it since we lived in Dayton. I just started my old phone number and it still works phone number from 20 years ago. So he's at

00:27:09  Go and I do the thing and it's it's all done. It's the point where I have nothing to do now, nothing to do. But stand here and watch my groceries pile up over here. The Watermelon roll in on that little Bear Valley and it's in danger of rolling over the eggs of the bread. So it this way she has to be dealt with and I'm like well I guess I'm bagging now. So I go down the thing and start back. I just start grabbing what, I don't care. I'm putting sardines in there with tissues and you didn't get that part. Now, this guy is helping me back and I thought, you know, I wish there was an algorithm to let me know when I'm going to have a bag on when I'm not. Because there's times that time. I was ready to just be like you know what?

00:27:57  I'm not dealing with $231 worth of groceries back in it myself, I'm done. If you don't get somebody over here right now, right? Like literally right now cuz there's two tubs of ice cream in here and I don't want that stuff melted. I'm walking, I'm walking away from this. Have you ever had it, where your bag in your stuff? And then, another bagger is like standing and waiting on an order. There were three people. There were three Baggers. I hadn't even worse. They Tuesday, hit the break times. There were three people that bag standing in front of me, literally a couple of where we are from like three feet away from where I was at my boss is watching me never, never would have allowed that ever ever, ever wilcox's rule.

00:28:43  John Wilcox. If there were tons of people he would leave his post as the store manager and come out and back and carry stupid thing that I hate is when they ask if they will if you want to leave stuff out like I will get Monster drinks by themselves naked like not enough in the box and they'll just put it out there. Either War and Peace Out. No, I don't want that out. That goes in the bag. I'm planning my bad decisions. I have gotten a candy bar before and I told him don't, but that's not making it home will not cross. My front door, all beef footlong hot dogs. I'm Dave, Les and I have a man-sized hunger when I get a craving for hot dogs. The only hot dogs for me are Whoppers. Whoppers are made with 100% pure beef with no fillers and no preservatives. Whoppers are perfect with chili cheese and onions.

00:29:43  Or if you are woman, ketchup, get a ruler and measure it yourself. If you are Whoppers, hot dog isn't a footlong. They'll refund your money guaranteed wompers. The official, all beef. Footlong hot dog of the 2021, Summer Olympic Games. I have a member of the Southern Culture on the skids fan, page, Southern Culture on the skids, are my favorite rock group. I love them, I have four year and I have all the music I've seen him. I don't know how many times I've been him. All I've had pictures taken with every member they've got all their autographs. I've got their posters big fan, you dig them. I do, I totally dig him. Well, there are known for their big hit was the camel. Walk Little Debbie I'm coming on home cuz you make me want to walk like a camel and he one of the lines at all. I want's was just one more oatmeal pie, okay. Okay. A line of the song, I'll play it for you cuz you and I are going to go see them in October and October

00:30:43  Picture of Kellogg's oatmeal cream, pie cereal and I thought it was Photoshop. I thought it was a total joke that exists. It couldn't possibly. So it never came and never thought never ever saw. Finally. I noticed that it was at Kroger and I bought a box faster than you could by like there's only one bushiri.

00:31:08  Oatmeal cream. Pies are Delicious. Pies, are the bomb. So, here's my advice. This has a store that has a point. If you are interested in buying the oatmeal cream, pies cereal. Why don't you just get like two a couple of oatmeal cream, pies and eat them for breakfast. Can you with a glass of freezing cold milk? Can you describe the cereal? Is it, is it little? Is it like Cookie Crisp? Yeah, it's shaped kind of like Cookie Crisp. It has a weird funky aftertaste. Does it have like, the coating of the cream in the cookie in the middle or not? If we could have like a creamy? Yeah, but it doesn't. It's a crunchy cereal. While I was there. I also noticed that there's a new cereal called Crayola cereal.

00:31:55  For the crayon, eating kids in your in your cereal with a jazz was jazzberry razzberry, know what is that? I have others. That is that purple? That sounds purple I guess. Okay, but the the catch is with Crayola cereal, it's the box. You can color, who cares? Hey, honey, I didn't hear anything desperation. They didn't keep up with that, is a parent. It's like to hear color this. I can only imagine. It's like, there's the boardroom and like, guys, we need new cereal for our fiscal year in this, cuz I know what if we had Crayola Cyril, right now, I want to see a mock-up tomorrow. I almost bought the Box acrylic cereal because I know it's going to get discontinued.

00:32:55  Syrup and Donkey Kong Barrel. That was basically Captain Crunch with a different. I remember mr. T cereal. Okay, I remember I see stars with the Swedish Chef on it C-3PO. See if mailman. What are the five and a half years? I worked together when Pac-Man cereal came out. I thought I thought it was the end. That was the end of innovation. Did you have Pac-Man Fever? I did have the, the 45 vinyl somewhere in this house Buckman and Garcia. We can play it on that damn thing over here before you go and ask a question but no one I've never found anyone. That will admit liking oatmeal cookies. But no one hates, I like milk and cookies but you like oatmeal pies. Well, yeah, there are. There's a huge section of people. Haha, that love oatmeal cream. Pies can't stand, oatmeal cookies. And I don't understand that. Cuz that's basically taking to oatmeal cookie.

00:33:55  Is it making out of an Oreo out of them? Well, in theory? Yes. But the oatmeal cream pies are softer and chewier than, than the oatmeal. Cookies skin. Be soft and chewy Candy by mistake, but they're typically not the ones I've had are okay. I don't know what FanDuel raise living at the raisin. Oatmeal raisin dates raisins and she never makes up no religious reasons. My wife, you know, people paying attention, I've met people now that hate the flavor grape, there's people or can burn in hell,

00:34:34  Speaking of food, do you like grape soda? I love grape soda. I'd it turns your poop green. It does, it, does it turns it turns a green and chalky.

00:34:47  This portion of irritable, dad Syndrome has brought you buy sweatpants, they're warm. Elastic e and sweatpants is fun to say now back to the show. So let me know every night when we go to bed, we usually watch an episode of something here lately. We've been watching atypical on Netflix, and it's hilarious, when we're watching TV, and Cameron comes downstairs. And he asks, if he can take his phone up to the bed, and we told him, no, because he's been staying up on his phone, very, very late. So we said nobody, you need to not watch your phone, you need to go to bed. So he leaves.

00:35:30  He comes back in 5 minutes.

00:35:33  And he says, reasonable man.

00:35:37  I'm going to need you guys to come upstairs. I'm going to need you to come up. Yeah. When when your son starts talking like a police officer gets that stumbled Upon a Crime Scene, what's going on?

00:35:59  I can't even imagine thinking. Do I need to put on latex gloves? Do I need to do? I need to call the cops? Possibly what's going on? He does. Well, you know that he's got this thing that hangs from the ceiling that has some stuffed animals that, you know, that blue thing that's hang in there with all those stuffed animals and some toys in it. Like, yeah, goes okay. Well, there was that that yellow thing and there and Nana I was, I was poking it and it popped and all this white powder comes out. He says, and I mean, I mean, I mean, he didn't say that,

00:36:47  I like an episode of narcos Cameron. I'm relatively a hundred percent certain you don't have cocaine in your room. So, I'm intrigued, you stay here. I'm actually excited about this. So I go up there and sure enough, he used to have someone had given us a balloon full of cocaine like baby powder or something. Okay, I can't wait to have a powder and if you could use it, like a stress ball from whatever shape. Did you put your finger in it? Like every cop in the 80s and 90s movies did and taste it.

00:37:32  But it's so he said that he touched it. I'm convinced that he was picking at it but that's neither here or there. And I'm like, okay so now I know what it was but now I don't think we cleaned it up yet, either.

00:37:54  You like a crime scene in his know? Anyway, it reminded me to have I ever told the anthrax story on this podcast, about about the band Anthrax? No, no, no, no, no. I don't think, I think I would remember the anthrax after 9/11. Do you remember the anthrax scare or sending envelopes to CBS News and NBC? And, and all these places at claiming that there was Anthrax in the envelope? And by the way, do not do this, okay? Do not do this at home. So, I worked at WCPO Channel, 9, and the rule was if anything suspicious, anything remotely suspicious comes in you report it immediately, you bring it to the general managers at tension at that very instant when

00:38:47  My friend. Larry Hanley, used to do a segment on the morning. Whether called kids pics and little Jimmy Drew this picture. It's a son, and there's a dog and there's his sister and whatever I do. And he got these people mail, these in all the time will Larry was on vacation and while he was on me and my buddy, Scott, got a giant envelope full of kid dicks. And we had appointed ourselves, the kid that committee and can we were going through to pick out once for Larry, to show next week when he got back from vacation. So, we're going through all these little drawings that these kids sent from a school friend, I look up in my fingers are coded, there are completely white, and I'm like, oh, great. Yeah, here we go. And so he, we called the general manager and we instantly, I instantly went up to my general, managers the office, and I sat there with my hands up in the air.

00:39:47  Like I'm preparing for surgery, you know. I'm scared to death. I'm like, I don't know what's going on now. Listen, I was like, I don't think this is real, but there was a part of me that's like, okay, what do I do? If this is real, right? So my general manager made a call.

00:40:06  The FBI came to ambulances. All my God. Why I blocked off the street below and they came into the building. So the guy from the FBI says, wash your hands, you're fine. And then he explains something about the situation that we can't talk about on the podcast. But anyway, so I call these who from the station were hugging me.

00:40:28  And my mom called, and she wants me to move back to Johnson City that day. I like cracks, you know, so they went to the school to find out if some punk-ass kid was doing an anthrax scare kids, like it happened with all these kids, have drawn their kid picks, and they hung them up on the chalkboard for the dog or whatever. So, it wasn't a threat and it wasn't intentional from the from the school still. I got to talk to an FBI.

00:41:13  This portion of irritable dead syndrome is brought to you by Otis, elevators by. This is your announcer, Dave Lay and if there's one word that describes me, it's brand-loyal, I've been riding Otis elevators. All my life and if I'm ever in a building, that doesn't have a notice, I say screw it. I'm taking the stairs. I know those other brands are fine, but take it from me. Writing in another brand of elevator. Well, it's just not the same. There's nothing like the feel the smell in the comfort of an Otis Elevator. The next time, you're in an elevator look up, and make sure it's a notice, if it's not, maybe you should take the stairs. Now, back to the show, I have a just stop. Okay, I haven't had one in a while, we have it done. Just stopped at a while to welcome back. Just stopped. Yeah, so I'm tired. I want people to just stop hating on technology. I ran across one of these Facebook posts. Everybody's Got Somebody

00:42:13  Be in their Facebook friend group that's going to post this thing that says when I was growing up you know my internet was catching fireflies in the backyard and kicking a kickball across the thing. And we did this and we could do that was done. I've even, I've even seen people, my age plus those things and I've come close to your Knights were playing Super Mario. Brothers with me, you know, you didn't do these things. You know what I say to people who say that. It's all day long. We climb trees and skip rocks across the creek. And we used to walk up and down a drink and Catch You. Slippin tadpole. If you had internet, if you have Netflix, I tried you had, if you had any of that stuff back, then you would not have been doing that in the reason.

00:43:13  That's what my dad, like, if you want to know because he didn't have, if you want to know what the society would be like, back then, if they had things, we have now, look at the society that we have now, that's what it would be like. That's what it is. We didn't do it by choice but you know, I'm just I'm thinking, you know, you really you. You can't stand the technology we have. So let's get rid of your cell phone. So your kid goes out to play and he's not coming back after dark. Well I hope he's not dead, I don't know where I don't know where he is. He has no way to contact us. We have no way to contact him. Just the best we can do is put a picture on a on a milk jug and help somebody. Somebody don't have a GPS, don't know where you got. You remember, do you remember that brief period where we were printed out? Directions from MapQuest and it's like turn right at them at the red barn or whatever and you and you spaced out and you don't know if you passed it. I wish I had done that when I was in the middle of a field date is going to do my driver's license. As, you know, I still do that sometimes if I'm going to a play song.

00:44:13  The unfamiliar with I will go on MapQuest or Google Maps or whatever and get a general idea of where I'm going back West till there's like a Maytag repairman. It's like a guy sitting in a big old computer has somebody back then. Either had to let you know it was your friend's birthday or you had to put it on the calendar or something like a psychopath. You know, the only birthday is you knew maybe your parents right and maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend and that was it. You didn't know anybody else's. I am saying happy birthday to people I barely know on Facebook, right? Is just like I was sending pops up and it's like you have that moment where it's like I don't care if they have a happy birthday. All right? I'll put happy birthday to let me ask you this without and don't say it. But do you know my phone number? No, I don't know. Yours.

00:45:13  I don't know. You're I don't know your birthday and I call you a couple times a week. I don't know your phone number and I barely know where you live. Cuz when we started doing this podcast to her a couple of times I was really late because I got lost in good live, like basically a couple of streets away, you take a left and then a right. And then you're at my house. I don't know what that is. I don't know where that is. This worse? Words, would you bought your house? I walked a device. You need a fillet and a bunch of other people, you suckered into doing this walk. The trampoline. So, I literally walked using heavy labor to get there. And then the very next time I came to visit. I've had to freaking GPS it. I didn't know where it was hilarious. So don't give me about technology a complaint about that kind of stuff. I see those posts and it just burns me up. You're right. You're totally right. It's the people who keep complaining that we didn't do that. We were kids we didn't sound like you had the choice.

00:46:13  And you want down there on Facebook, posting, bitching about it.

00:46:19  They're on the thing that they hate complaining about it about it.

00:46:24  Why don't you call somebody up on your rotary phone and tell him how much he ate?

00:46:31  So it's been going for a few weeks now. I've got to talk about of families, going through the rocky series, Rocky a lot lately. Have I love Rocky every year. I go through the entire Rocky series. I go all the way except five this year. A couple weeks ago was the first time I ever saw a Rocky V. I'll never see it again. Can I borrow it? I want to have it, you can. Yeah I'll give it to you but yeah we so a couple nights ago we watch Rocky Balboa and I made best come down for this one you know it's been Me and Charlie I went through it with Andrew and went through at Charlie this time I want the entire family Watch Rocky Balboa because that one to me is like a, a great movie. It's right up there with the first one. The second one for I was balling.

00:47:22  All the way through the movie and I act like little things and I got a rule, I get a sense of this. Every year, when I watch all these movies, how closely tied together, they are coming a little call back. How many times has Frank? Stallone his brother shows up in these damn movies. And you don't even know if Frank Stallone is right there. And in one of the, in one of the early scenes in all the Rocky movies, I don't think he's the guy. He's one of the guys, at the, at the trash can, is the guy with like, the weird. What's a good body afro for was what if there are other Stallone Brothers?

00:48:14  What size are you do? As an aside, you should follow Frank Stallone on Twitter cuz it's hilarious. That he's awesome and they have like a real of Brotherly thing going on. I mean, it's like, they're picking my, it's, it's fun anyway, so we get through the eyeball, in through the whole thing and it'll show like he'll he'll walk by like a camera. Was he walked by a thing? And I'll be like oh, that's a thing for Rocky and I'm correct and best of looking her like oh my God, are you probably cry? Too many times you watch these movies? I did I can I'm I'm I was the one we're going through when they popped up I'd like to keep those are the turtles from Rocky 1 Sylvester, Stallone has those Turtles. Those are his pets and he put them back. Those aren't their real turtles. The turtles. Those are the same terms of the same Turtles are the exact. He still had their dead or not but in Wikipedia look it up.

00:49:14  They are the same Turtles. We all know which has Olivia's dude. That's why I love the rocky Series so much as it it followed. It mimics his own life. If you look at where he is and he look at it, he's a he's kind of a jerk in Rocky 3 is kind of like all full of himself. That's kind of how he was Sylvester. Stallone was a real thin like his life, right? And it's kind of goes follows his whole thing. That's why I'm balling at the end cuz I love Sylvester Stallone like

00:49:41  A really nice too much damage. You can still go the distance, the distance, you watched it on DVD, right? Spoiler alert Rocky Balboa, he loses that fight by decision but he doesn't really lose the flat. He lost the fight by the city but okay, he went the distance of the deleted scene or an alternate scene. They have an alternate ending that they shot what he did when it off. So apparently I guess when they shot the movie they shot it both ways so that it wouldn't get leaked out cuz everybody just assumes Rocky. I didn't know that I thought I was the rocky Guru and then

00:50:34  Put that in your pipe and smoking everything for the original.

00:50:45  I lovers movie so much. Yeah, they're great. We've done this podcast for 48 weeks. Now seems like his episodes best to tell this story for a very long time and Libby has never let me, she's finally said, it's okay for me to tell this story. Okay.

00:51:06  Couple years ago, I believe it was Easter. We are have been known to invite. Strays over to our house stray dogs. No, secret people who don't have families to Campbell have who aren't doesn't like the beaver, guy. Invited people who don't have families or plans or places to go on this particular Holiday Inn price. So we invited some people over to our house couple years ago. It was a holiday weekend and let me know, I have been famous for inviting Strays over to our house. Straight people, people people who don't have plans who don't have families that live nearby. They don't have anywhere else to go for this particular holiday cysts. Come on over to our house five people. Okay maybe 6, not a lot, not going crazy.

00:52:06  So how you end up on the Craigslist Killer? So these people came and we had some chairs set up in the yard and we're sitting and talking and this person comes up and I said hey can I get you some water or something to drink? If you want a Coke? We've got some beer if that's you staying or whatever. Okay so I go into the house and I'm helping Libby, get some stuff ready and we're talking to another one of our friends

00:52:38  This particular person walks into the house. May have been there. 10 minutes walk trailer for living says, I don't want to be here.

00:52:49  I'm going to leave.

00:52:52  Where it, where is your front door?

00:52:59  Keep on the front of the house or both like this makes me want to be a straight. What? And then again, I don't want to be here. I'm going to leave that. We thank you for inviting me, but I'm going to go. Where is your front door and starts? I'm sorry. I mean, if you want we can have that. It's all that powdery found in Cameron's room like a frame is like, they are we eating soon enough is something going on, you know, and she's apologizing, and it's like, it's not that, it's not you not you. And, and so Livia, show the person out you, did you say?

00:53:50  I have to pee pee on the potty. I said, hi, would you like a seat? Can I get you something to drink? Because I don't want to be. Here is a term that is reserved for, let's say, you walk into a room, and there's a full-on orgy. I'm not into that. I don't want to be here, a room, and there's like a satanic cult and there's a human sacrifice. Perfectly accelerated, you know, there's all the candles and then there's the the the stuff for it. I'm not into Bizzle bub. Exactly. I don't want to be here and I'm going to leave. Yes, I walked into a building that you're invited to a party and it's like a log of burger party or an M1A. I don't want to be here, have souls or Tupperware, get me the hell out of here. But my biggest question is

00:54:50  Front door. How hard is it to find a ride or I am basically, you know, walk around look for a door house. Isn't that big find any door? There's a pretty good chance it goes outside. Can I offer if it's next to a window that you can see through? Can I deflate all the comedy out of this briefly? Sure. Something that I've learned that may Save a Life at some point, any time in your life, you are ever lost if you reach out and put your hand on your left wall and you go through the entire structure with your hand and you never lifted you will eventually find your way out the front door.

00:55:38  Text.

00:55:40  I swear it works. It's amazing. I've use it cuz I I read it somewhere. I've used it in video games. I've gotten out of so many Dungeons and video game using that. I've only used it in real life.

00:55:55  Navigate to Weis Max one time. One time me and best went to some friends of ours were checking out a band for their wedding and the band was playing the casino casinos are notorious for not having an easy way out. No clocks or anything like that, right? And I'm mentally use the left hand trick to find the door to get out. It works. It's, it could save. If if, if this pod give this episode of this podcast, save the life of one of our dogs are wondering since nurse weave weave, weave weave done our job. Done our job. Let me tell you something else. I wanted to know where the front door is locked in the house. Yet the garage and said, I don't want to be here. Where is your front door? You came in through the garage and leave through a different route. All you had to do is

00:56:55  Turn around and go out through the garage. So you know, some may hear this story and think what kind of palatial estate does Darren have

00:57:08  My house isn't that bitch? Not huge. There's, yeah, it's about. I mean, it's it's a little bit bigger than this house but still one could find their way out of this house. We have a front door. Yeah, we have a back door, you can because that's our deck. Now, let me stop you. Let me just get through the garage. Let me stop you right there. Okay. The front door is named because it's on the front of the plane of the house. The back door is named because it's on the backplane of the house. So if you geographically know where the front and back of the house, are you cut out? 50% of the House of where the door could be right now, you just need to know whether I'm a space in the front of the back.

00:57:51  You don't need a jerk like that at your party.

00:57:57  I want curly. This person had been going through a lot of things. I think that's great, dude, you've inspired me. Well, I went to work, right? And I'm telling my co-workers, how's your week and Eric, sit down and my ball, my God. Okay. I would have all for all these years. I've went to parties and just get the crap that I didn't want to be. I had to do is say I don't want to be here. You've inspired me, you've inspired our listeners. Somebody with our email address is on our website. You're the one that's in cam. Send me a link or send me send us a video or audio of you going to a party and going up to the host and saying. I don't want to be here. Where is your front door? If you will put it on our side, we will put it on his like, that is beautiful.

00:58:56  I want to do, that's so bad. Lord will Mike I think it's time for us to say goodbye. Time to come to an end or wrapping. This one out at this one up. I see a note hear Billy Idol Gojira in Cleveland. Yeah, you know we've been saying this for weeks at the end of October we're going to be in the Cleveland we're going to see Gojira Gojira Gojira will actually be there. Yes. So I'm I met him last week that they cancel their tour and I was right there when does the the ones that were with all of them and they're done. But I got a notice today, then The Cleveland Show is sold out, and unless you can't be done but you could hang out outside the theater and wait for us to come in and meet us in that way. I wouldn't recommend it, but you can but will be at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame the next day.

00:59:56  On October 3rd. I'm wondering if they're going to be at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I'm wondering if they're, I'm wondering if they're going to be there the day of the show and then do the show and then leave

01:00:07  Who does that? Originally, I thought they would be there. The day after I have a feeling, they're going to be to have a feeling that there are professional rock group that their got to keep their head clear. They're not going to go and look at a bunch of Chuck Berry crap and then like and then get influenced and going do, there goes through a concert start, playing all kinds of other stuff, you know, that's crazy, talk, okay, you're a nut case. So anyway, we're going to go see Billy, I don't know yesterday. William broad as his suborn name did he can use cuz you know, a lot about Billy Idol. I do when I was like 14, 15 years old, if the sun rose and set on Billie eilish or is he does, he has two. Okay back off, hold on, hold on because I realize why Mother cell what I'm about to say? Is akin to you saying something. Like, is it Bono or boner? So.

01:01:07  Get it right? I get. Okay, hold on. Okay, let me throw my credentials. First question. I like Billy Idol. I'm going to the show with you, and I love the cyberpunk album. I know a lot of Billy Idol fans, can't stand that. I dig. It could I see what he was going for having throw my credentials out there.

01:01:29  Is it true that he was created by the labels? Like they created a Billy Idol Persona and found him and said you're going to be that and let's create the Persona and make a rock star or did he rise up through the ranks himself? I haven't heard that work. I haven't heard that story. Billy Idol started out in a punk band called Generation X. Okay, there you go. I can't remember the guys name. The other guy in Generation X. Went on to be and Zig Zig. Sputnik was the other guy in Generation X went on to form another punk band. That disappeared. Billy Idol in a Billy Idol came out during the Heyday of MTV. Oh yeah yeah, yeah. The vacuum tubes and everything on it myself. I mean he made MTV as much as MTV made him because there were people who watch specifically to see Billy Idol.

01:02:29  Is one of the original, I Want My MTV all right now, and yeah, yeah, yeah, he did the Martha Quinn interview, you know, and I'll one of his CDs was actually an EP had four songs and then the rest of it was an interview with Martha Quinn from you. So, I mean, I had the posters, I've got I think I had a dozen. I still have my bill out of posters. One of them is hanging up in my music room, or my drums are, so I love them. I've been a fan of him for 30 years, 30 years, I've been a fan of noticed when I read that he was like an American Idol before American Idol started, it was like a boardroom thing I, but I I looked it up but I tried to find that story recently and I don't, I could ride it. I've never heard that. I must have, must have been just BS, so, yeah, August 3rd. Huber Heights, which is near Dayton, Ohio, Mike, and I are going to be at the Billie eilish concert, awesome. And I will turn that into a certain. We'll have a narrative.

01:03:29  Billy Idol themed at the cost of GoPro and will freaking will do something.

01:03:36  We're going to wrap this up. We want you to go to irritable bowel syndrome. Calm we want you to listen to previous episodes to do. Go to a party and tell him you don't want to be there and ask him where their front door is, please do that besides that. If you're the word if you like our podcast put a link of it on your Facebook page but send the link of it to your brother-in-law, send you, no spread the word. Tell people that are show put on gaining traction and I swear to God. I will stand by the statement. This by KES is a lot better than it was with a certain. You put on some black slacks and a white shirt and a black tie knock on people's doors on Sunday morning partner. Can I talk to my boss?

01:04:30  Hahaha. Tell him I don't want to be here.

01:04:39  Where is your front door? Can I tell you about my condition? I love it. But yeah, please spread the word if you're a fan of the show, but we we appreciate it. We know we have loyal listeners. We have a lot of loyal listeners. We don't appreciate every one of them. Spread the word tell people about it. Tell people about it.

01:05:01  We're going to head out. Talk to you later. Bye. Will it don't get any better than that. I say we take this episode and submit it to the podcast Hall of Fame. Thanks for listening. Everybody will see you next time.