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Aug. 31, 2021

IDS #53 - Cutting Your Own Bangs While Blindfolded on a Roller Coaster


Darin gave a guy from Seinfeld a ride in his car, Mike discusses the etiquette of running into someone at the store when you look like 3rd degree death, a Red Lobster Just Stop, and another very personal Just Stop. 

Mike accidentally yells at people and is a jerk.  Haircuts by people with terrible haircuts, Mike's kid wants to be a bounty hunter, ranch dressing incidents, a towing story - and a contest!!

All this and more in this fine, wholesome episode!

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Transcript
00:00:00You know what? It's like if we if our podcast is 40 minutes 15 minutes. I don't care. I do. OK. Google. Put in 10 minutes of a gerbil farting. If I need to the best podcast of all time. Now hear your host Mike and Darren.
00:00:26Hey everybody. I'm Darren. I might welcome to hear that syndrome. Episode 53 or very excited. I Mike yes, how you doing? Wonderful. I think it feels pretty good. I love my God will swamp ass.
00:00:45Always puts me in a weird mood. I don't like, I don't like the cast pods swamp. I tried. I mean, I'm wearing, I mean, you see what I'm wearing. I'm wearing shorts and I do.
00:01:04Side, but we're very excited because last week, we released our greatest hits, our best of episode and people who like it. I know what the hell. I know we've been getting people commenting on how much they really enjoyed it, which is awesome. You know, why they like it? I know. I don't why you tell me what we keep having people close to us. Haha. And I thought this was an excuse of why they're not listening to the podcast. Well, I I need to catch up. I listen to the first couple that you guilted us into an excuse as they back away and Kroger and get back to the car and they leave.
00:01:45Reality is they really feel like they need to catch up. So what we did in that episode of, we did all the catching up for people. We took the 20-odd clips mean something in the first year. I mean, there's other Jewels out there so I can listen to him. But, you know, you can go, you can listen that episode and a lot of the recurring in joke, things that we do stuff, a reference, and also bonus in the right up. Every story has a title and then the episode that it came from. So if if a story has a certain, we will all go. You can say, I really like the way Mike talked about 12 blankety-blank nuggets, right? I would like to go listen to episode, whatever it came from our best of episode at is doing very well and the one we released the week before, that has exploded, it became our second, most popular episode.
00:02:45Of all time. And so we've got new listeners. We want to welcome every single one of them. And we want to thank all our old trusted loyal listeners for you, and I have some stories about her, kids sterical, and at the end of a show. I have a tow truck story than involve some shady characters, and you don't want to miss it. I think most tow trucks or even Shady characters do about that. But before we get started, I want to mention Andrew Jackson Givens. He is a fan of the show. He's listened to every single episode. I know he is a loyal fan. I've known him since college, but he sent me this message that I wanted to read on the show. It said, id rare syndrome. I've listened to every episode. I haven't missed one episode. I've actually listen to some of the early ones twice. I feel like I'm having a conversation with friends every time I listened because the stuff you guys talk about is the
00:03:45That kind of conversations. I have it work cuz my buddy. So Andrew thing, you you're a friend and you're a loyal listener. We really appreciate you listening to the show that he's our lawyer. He's our lawyer. Yeah. Yeah. So we've got the Vintage man on our best guess so. We brought it back into the spotlight. So we may need legal representation. We are totally going to need, which by the way, we would never do that. No, no never discussing another clip that we put on our best of episode was the one about the teriyaki. Chicken bread, bowl salad and bread bowl of chicken. So I was saying that when we were having that conversation, I felt like I was in an episode of Seinfeld years ago. I met someone who
00:04:45Play acted on Seinfeld. Bryan Cranston. No, no. No, I wish I would love to know the guy who sold the man bra. The broke the bro, bro. The guy's name is Patrick Cronin. He has been acting for 50 years or something. He's been on Alice. He was on Home Improvement on Seinfeld. He's done theater and he was on Alice like the show Alice. Yeah, but who was he in a Big Mac meal over there for a while? He taught at acting class at East Tennessee, State University where I graduate, huh? Okay, so a few years ago, I get invited.
00:05:43Back to ETSU for an alumni Returns. The campus thing, and I was talking to students about my career and what I do, and that type of thing, and I meant Patrick Cronin there that day, and I'm super nice guy, you know, we didn't talk long, but the time I talked, I enjoyed hanging around with him. He try to sell you a bro, later, and it's night. I'm walking to my car and I walked past him. I said, hey, Patrick run. Remember me? I met you earlier cuz yeah, yeah. Do you have a car nearby. He goes. Can you drive me to my car in the car and driven him? And let him forget. He gets in the car, and I'm driving him to his cars, like up there and take a right and there it is. And I'm thinking I'm in the car with the guy that sold the man bra.
00:06:43If you know, super nice guy, but yeah, let me once trusted me enough to drive into his but that that Cyprus or reminded me of that.
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00:07:29I had a Superman moment at work, ran down the hallway, ripped your shirt, open. Do I wish you can and then you'll understand what I mean. When I explained, what the president of our company, came to the TV station where I work? Okay, the guy who is the president of the company. That owns, our TV station has offices in New York and he's visiting all the stations, the head honcho, the big Sue big, the big cheese, the man. So he's coming to our TV station to meet people and they're like, everybody can help clean up your offices and he's coming. And he's going to talk to us. And if you have any questions is, so he's having a big meeting inside our studio. What are questions? People had a ton of questions and he answered every single one of them. So it's not every day. The president of the company comes with the T.
00:08:29Station. Now, I never tuck in my shirt. Okay, because you never wear a belt to wear a belt ticket about the belt. Now. We're not doing that. Now. I never took my shirts. Always ironed. Okay, I wear a shirt with a button-down collar, nice and neat. I usually always wear dress, shoes is coming in. Okay, I wore a belt, you be happy to know where I did wear a belt. So I'm standing in the studio and I'm waiting for the president of the company to talk to us and my boss Julie. She looks good Janet who's standing right next to Julie?
00:09:20Doesn't know that I'm Darren. She was oh my God, I didn't recognize. I'm like.
00:09:29What song is oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you wear a belt. And now you're not wearing your shirt. She doesn't recognize me for 11 years has like a superpower. You have now for maybe five guys at the station to have a completely shaved head. One of them is the general manager of our station standing up front next to the president of our company. Another guy is a videographer named John on May. 6 in taller than him and then you see a guy with a shaved head.
00:10:18No, it's me Phineas and Ferb Perry the Platypus superspy. Okay? Okay, Superman mode. So I have a Kroger store. Wait. Do we need to have Dave do the intro? Sure. I hit a Dave. It's time now for the Kroger story of the week.
00:10:50Okay. So the Kroger this is Kroger a ticket. Okay, so I went to the Kroger. Okay, as I'm want to do and I this is after a couple of days and not being at work. So I was how do you say it? Unshaven? Unkempt, I'd also eat in the series of ice cream sandwiches.
00:11:19A dollop of potato chips. A dollop of sour cream. Potato chips. Okay. I did a hand. OK Google, nems in there somewhere. It may have been a burger. I didn't look well. Okay, and so damn sister. Potato chips. I mix everything with everything at the same time. I'm not a sociopath while you said it was in the bowl. There's a drop of the The Ice Cream from the ice cream sandwich with blue body.
00:12:01There's dust sprinkle about from the potato chips, the pickle, hot spicy, pickle chips. Lay's hot spicy yet. I think I told you before, the way that I eat Peanut M&M's as I bite the candy off and then I fight the chocolate and then I think eat the peanut. So I think I drooled at one point. I did not look. Well. I'm unshaven. Did I mention that? I think I have a pimple. I think I had acne, I do now right now. I have a pimple. I think it's from this incident. Are you wearing a robe? Robe on hell. I would have looked better. If I had a room at the shorts. I had on the shorts. I had on a long ago. I was at some point I was near being in shape and I ran it. I used I had workout pants and it was turning into summer and I needed shorts. So I just cut them off with Siri.
00:13:02And I wasn't very good at it and I made him Jagged and best saw me doing that. She's like, what are you doing? Like I need shorts. It's too hot for these. She's like, then go buy shorts. She's like, you're going to look like an idiot. I'll show him to you later with. Derek. There's a question in the front. Mr. Darren Cox kids growing up in Virginia. We would where are genes? Dad would cut them into shorts and then get frayed the end every summer for like 7 years. I remember wearing cutoffs and then in the eighties, they started making it with the phrase like not buy shorts with the phrase but I like old school. That's how you used to do, them had normal jeans and you come up. So I had those and they look really bad. They look like they look like I got attacked by a wolverine. So that's the shorts. I have. I don't smell particularly well,
00:14:01Saigon public because we needed more ice cream sandwiches, very important. And I needed some chicken cuz I wanted to make something that had chicken in it. Right? I'm like, I'll go to Kroger, Kroger to me now, is how most people look at their, like, I need to go to the mailbox. It's so cool. It's like right there. It's like, you know, I'm I'm at Kroger almost every day. How come I've never ran into you cover. We ran into each other once I think they're in this configuration. Okay, that's a good word for. All right. I see I'm walking down the long long. You know, over where the meat is, all that stuff, you know, where it meets up with the wine area. I do. So, I'm at the end of that and I'm walking for a long time, and I look up and maybe 10.
00:15:01Feet away from me. I see someone that I used to work with at my previous job. My first thought is, hey, this person know, because they're going to see me. And then that's going to be the story, man. I ran into Mike. He is not, he has something happened to him. He is not doing well. He had Ice Cream Sandwich on your shirt. He was in a bad way. So that I didn't say anything. Now, this guy starts looking around.
00:15:33He doesn't see me as he's looking around part of that is because I don't look like I ever looked before to this human being, cuz I don't go to work. Looking like that. Right? And I promise, like I'm invisible. Like Frodo with the little, You Know, cover photo and Sam and then I he walks by and he never saw me. And then I thought I'd go down and I are who I don't have to deal with that. But then I started thinking, what's the etiquette there? Should I have said something, regardless of how I looked, and then I thought deeper, and I'd love to suck the best, and I think she's concerned about me now. Just look at this little area where he could have seen me and maybe didn't was right. He was pretty close to the wine area.
00:16:23So I told Beth I was like I think it would have been hilarious if I would have been like hey such-and-such started a conversation and then nonchalantly go over to the wine area and just start putting bottle half-filled card up with wine while we're talking and then maybe throw some jerky on top of it and say I'll see you later or not.
00:16:48Emily.
00:16:50And do you really wish showing you you would have bought it all the store? I really wish I would have done that. It was one of those. You like I could have done this and it would have been awesome. I really wish I'd done Rodger. That's a story. I'd like him to go back to work with my buddy. Steve Ferrell used to say, there's nothing more embarrassing than running into a hot chick at the store in your buggy is full of diet sodas. So let's say you do run into the guy and then you fall into that with the called The Vortex where you see him on aisle two. And then you cross and then you're on all three. Have any prep. Yeah. We were. You got to like either go to the other end of the store or just sit down. Yeah, what you do is, just go in the deli department and just sit on the floor and wait a good, 25 minutes and then do your shopping. So that you don't criss cross applesauce. I got lucky cuz we were in the end cap Isles going opposite directions. So there was no reason for us to ever cross paths. Again. This is Ben.
00:17:50So we have a couple of just stops for the Wii U do after church my son. Jacob, wanted to go to Red Lobster. He's been asking to go to Red Lobster for a while now, but we're like, okay, so we went to Red Lobster and I don't have a problem per se with the restaurant and they have good food. The service is really good. Restaurant, was clean, easy to Park City. Want a restaurant, right? My problem with Red Lobster is how they distribute. The cheddar bay biscuits. These things have crack cocaine in, they are delicious. Solutely delicious. Here's the problem. There's four of us. They bring us five biscuits.
00:18:30All is one extra and now we're like it's like trying to stab each other in the handbook like a Roman gladiator writing is about to have it on to you. You guys can split, it will split three ways. It takes away the the naturalness of it. You have to hold a whole one. Actually, you take the children busy, but the whole thing in your mouth, you do one bike. Yeah, it's best. If you're not the one divvying up the pieces, you got to have somebody's finger on your biscuit. Exactly. So there's one left over you guys. Okay, and then we decide, okay? You is like this, like we let Jacob have it and then the waitress brings us 5 more. Okay. So we've already had four Jacobs had one extra so Libby, Cameron, and I get one, two, three. Now. There's two left over. Do we cut those in half? And then put no, cuz you can't cut it in half again, in a calculus problem.
00:19:30There's four of us and they bring five biscuits at a time in order for all of us to have the same amount. Yes. We've got to eat 20 biscuits. I know you either bring for biscuits and say I'm not bringing you any leftovers or you bring ate biscuits. Exactly. Don't bring five biscuits and leave it up to because then it's like the kids turn into a wolf and there's a rabbit with a broken leg. That's not what they're doing. And then, the parents had a hold everything together. No, no, no, no, no. Tell you what you boys, just sit down. I'm going to eat it. If you hassle, if you're the server, if you have to check a Biscuit in the trash or better, yet in your mouth, you do that, come over, no harm. No foul. And then I take the problem away from us. So I want to talk specifically to Red Lobster, Red Lobster.
00:20:30Hi, hun. Barron from here to the bed syndrome. I'm begging. You. Stop giving out more biscuits and there are people at a table. It causes problems. It causes in fighting families are being torn apart because of you. Thank you. I have two things to say about the story. Is that one of our friends from long ago, still one of my friends refer to Red Lobster as dead Lobster and it used to be best as favorite restaurant in the end. He said that he's like, I'm thinking like to get you. The other one is you can buy the cheddar bay biscuit, mix, not the same. It is this. I was going to tell you, it's just it's right there. It was closed. It was closed. Okay, but it's not the same. I enjoyed it. Okay, if I can say, we tried to not the same, maybe if we have a tank full of lobsters at the house, it would make the
00:21:30Small. The Ambiance the does Jena. Se. Qua Red Lobster's a French restaurant. That's damn. Okay, I back into the microphone.
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00:22:32Okay, so I have a just stopped and primarily at The Listener podcast.
00:22:45Have you ever been walking with a taco in your right hand?
00:22:52And then had your dog, jump up and bite, half a taco and you pull it away, and then you don't know what to do with it. So you put it in your pocket and your word, and Randy Orton. And I'm like, no. Oh, well, that happened to me, and then just the story.
00:23:11So I've been with this person for, I don't know, our 19th anniversary was a few weeks ago. So many stories have started out that way. Have you ever had somebody a friend that went to North Dakota and saw a bear and asked you something about Hubert know? Did somebody did one of your friends go? North Dakota? See the bear that? Yeah, but just tell me this and then finally after a few years of this I was like, you don't have to ask me if the weird thing that only happens to you and your friends happened to meet for you too tough. You can come up to me and say, hey this weird thing happened. If you do that, don't
00:24:06Because in the process of asking the person that question you effectively told the story.
00:24:17And this is been just stop. Charlie is said that he's going to be on the podcast. Okay, do they want you to talk about them on the podcast, sometimes? Yes, sometimes we have stories about all for kids. Yo, this one makes me seem like a jerk. Okay. Alright. So right up here, right up the road. The one that I pass on the way to your house. Okay, the one that you passed on the way to my house, that's how that works. You keep explaining the UDF and I know which one you're talking about. Okay, so used to be under drive, past the UDF and think that maybe it's on the left. When I go to your house. It's on the right when I come back. So it's changed management a few times.
00:25:17Are used to be an older lady that work there. And a guy that was mostly bald had hair on the side and wore glasses and they were awesome. They were nice. This is years ago and the lady who had like the southern thing to her and the guy was just always cracking jokes. Yeah. I actually sign up for UDF card because of them because every time I ask I got tired of telling them though, I did not because I got sick of saying that I got the UDF off a gallon of your money back. I don't care how much gas is exactly. So I got tired of. I felt like I feel like I was disappointing them and they were nice people. So I got the UDF. Haha and then every day we started cracking jokes. I'm in there you constantly. And then there was a time where I brought Andrew with me, okay, and
00:26:17Work near there. Yeah, and I said his name is Andrew and she said something like I can't hear what she called him. I don't know if it was Anton or Amelia. She called him something. Other than Andrews. He called him, Amelia. Okay, I've had people or groups pronounce my name and I had people call you darphin, and you just go on with your life, darphin it, but then your store in this particular case. I was like she called him the other name. She meant nothing by it. So you just trying to be sweet. You just misheard me. Okay, and I thought, you know what? I like these people. I come in here all the time. I want to make sure that they know his real name because it's not the last time that I'm going to see them, right? Okay, so
00:27:03Instead of being nice. This is how this is how I meant it to come out. Like I do know is it's, it's Andrew. Oh, I'm sorry. What came out of my mouth was Andrew.
00:27:17And her eyes got wide sounds like in her head, your head went back and the guy like looked over at me and I didn't I didn't mean it to be me, Missy pissy, but it came out. And then instead of following that up with its I'm sorry. I didn't that came out harsher. I said, okay if he's like, okay, and then I was like, cut bait. Because I already screwed up this entire relationship. I've messed up. I completely, I was just cut bait. You never heard that before. Now, stop leave. Now, they're running away from this year. You've screwed up enough, right? That the hook comes out and pulls me away. So now you got to fill up at the Circle. K know. Okay, I get done with that interaction and then I turned it to the transaction was over. Yeah, and I walked out.
00:28:14Like a week later. It was under completely different management. Different rules. There were whole different people working there, force them out. They didn't force them out, but I feel terrible. Like I want to run into him again. So I didn't. I wasn't trying to be mean, I just Airi at my voice, whatever that thing is, in me, that controls the volume of my voice broke and it wasn't like normally when that happens. I fart or I belch or something else. That's funny in that particular case. It's just like it was the, I don't know if it was in a Seinfeld or it might have been a certain all of the guy that always this good.
00:29:04I'm sure they're fine. Will my son? Cameron keeps asking when I'm going to mention him on the podcast. Mentioned him, several times. I wanted to say we took him to get a haircut over the weekend. No, I'm not going to mention the name of the place where we went and got because he, and and motifs. And Jacob, both got a very good haircuts and they were very nice, but we walk in and the woman who's checking a sin.
00:29:29Looks like she had cut her own bangs.
00:29:35Blindfolded on a roller coaster.
00:29:39They are all the banks are not going to hear. You. Don't go to Dahmer's Diner. Another woman in his hair and her hair looks okay. That's not why I'm here.
00:30:26Cameron told me he's a dad. I want to start. Listen to your podcast tonight before I go to bed. And I said why, before you could have been, because it could help me fall asleep. Well, I'm glad that my podcast can for you to say this again. Don't know? No, no, no doubt. If I listen to it before I go to bed, then I get tired from laughing. So quacking hard. I'm laughing so hard. I will get tired and put me to sleep and then let me kiss me that look like to hear what our son just said. Yeah. I did. I did hear that. We found out something about Charlie. When you get out of there was a school assignment. They brought home. I think a lot of schools most schools have this. They do the thing, like yours, your name, your kind of like introducing yourself. So this paper
00:31:26Vapor what's your name? Charlie? How old are you? Typically that follows that and then so and then what do you want to be when you grow up most kids put fireman right? Cop or not drummer Drummer. Charlie wants to be a bounty hunter.
00:31:51You know, what's? So I think she's going to do it. Obviously we've talked about on the show wheel of the Mandalorian really likes the Mandalorian. So we talk about Mandalorian. He's like, no, I don't really want to be a bounty hunter, and then best said, that's, I don't think that's really a thing as a dog. Dog midnight. Run. That's whole movie about the belly. Yes. Yeah. That's it's a, it's a thing. And Shattuck, really think they go out and they do and I think he would excel at that. I remember when we were moving and do they sell it anything to do? But I think you'd be a really good Bounty Hunter. When a few years ago. You helped us move from our old house into our one. This one sixth of a mile away and we were feeding all the people who helping we got like eight pieces and we devour them when five minutes is all the parents and adults are on her. So, who are you? What are you doing? What's going on? Whatever. And it was your turn to introduce yourself and you like I'm Mike and and I have two kids and I think my youngest ones are going to be a cage fight.
00:32:51He likes to hit people.
00:33:00I think I've told the story before, this is a little snippet, just to give you a taste. We we have a mini flag football and there was a moment, you know, we've set right on the the sidelines because you can and he got hit really hard by another kid, even though it's like football, occasionally. There's a big hit and he went down and return and it was like one of those where I'd like started to get to my feet. Like I got to go on the field. Make sure he doesn't have any passion. He got up and went to turn back around. He had just the most maniacal grin on his face and looked at me out of the side of his eyes and the grand got wider and then he just ran and then I was like, I just stopped behind my tracks is like
00:33:40That kids can be a cage when he enjoyed that Fight Club, Red Lobster. This is another restaurant. If they've got the place is called and they have the most amazing ranch dressing that you can get that. I don't know if it's homemade or if they what they put, the crack cocaine there. I don't know if they take like, you know, regular ranch dressing and then take some dry seasoning of ranch dressing and mix it in there and make it even Ranch here. I don't whatever, but it was absolutely delicious. So my son, Jacob, my oldest one is like drinking it out of a bowl. Like, it's leftover cereal, milk, you know, I just finished with his tots and he's got two things of ranch dressing left and he asks, can I get these in to-go containers? Okay.
00:34:40Containers will they're walking out and Jacob starts running his mouth to Cameron about something, blah blah. I don't know what I wasn't there. All I know is Cameron had about enough of it and not the one of the wrist twisting in a splatters all over the parking lot made his point. I was in the restaurant paying while they went out to the car. I know cuz it was freezing inside the restaurant and I paid I walk out, as I'm walking out. Jacob's walking back in, he's got his head down, ranch dressing all over his right hand.
00:35:24We're just going there for whatever ass.
00:35:37But this happened on the 21st and Jacob has decided that the 21st. Only of this month every month. Okay, be ready. Appreciation day. I think that's again. Are you think he wants to come in Murray memoriam in the in the ranch that died. So every 21st of every month. I don't know if he's just going to just drink a bottle of ranch or what we just missed it. I know we had that Appreciation Day.
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00:36:35I don't know why I was going through my movies, DVDs, the other day. Last week. Someone had written in a question. Favorite. What is your favorite non comic book action movie. So, I'm going through the movies, were going through your DVD collection, on your wall back there, and go to start to my to my shock and Mike yells. I have cocoon. I don't remember buying cocoon. Why would you like? I don't know. I don't know why it's there. I mean, I remember seeing it is a good movie. Good movie. Not one that I was Jessica. Tandy is in that case. Mr. Diabeetus is in that one. And that the guy Police Academy guy, Guttenberg. Yes.
00:37:35While I thought him and Howie Mandel were the same person I do that. Anyway. Yeah, I so I have cocoon. Is there somebody that would really suck at it? I don't know why it's there and then I think you had an incident, you went back to your collection. You have at work the other day, my boss comes up and he says I've got a package for you and open it up and years ago, get like 7 years ago. I used to work with a woman named Tara. Okay. For some reason we were talking about the movie UHF. Okay. You're Weird. Al Yankovic. Yeah, and I want this with Kramer and I said, I've got it if you want to borrow it and I brought it and she watched it with her son and they absolutely loved it. And they and they enjoyed it. Well, they kind of forgot to give it back. So she ended up leaving the station. She had loaned me a copy of
00:38:35Bossypants by Tina Fey. Okay. And so Tara, leaving the station. I'm like I need to get you. Your book back and you need to get me my, my movie back. Let's do lunch. And she said, yeah, we'll have to do that. We never had time to do that. Okay, and then I reached out to her again. I said, hey, do you want your book? And she goes, you can keep the book. And I said, well, I mean, you know, I was going to really going to give it back to her and she says, I'll send you your movie and she never sent me the movie. Okay, so I'm like, you know what? It's, I'm just going to keep the book. She can have the movie later on. I end up buying another copy of UHF on Blu-ray. I'll be upgraded. So this package that comes in the mail is from Tara. She says, I can't believe I held on to this for so long. She sent me back my DVD of UHF and I don't know why, but she bought a new copy on DVD and built that one as well.
00:39:36Do I have one copy of UHF on Blu-ray? New copies on DVD. Wow. Wow. So here's what we're going to do this brand. New never been opened copy, shrink wrap train is still in the shrink-wrap can be yours, LOL, listener. If you do this one, certain think Mike might put a review on Apple podcast view us on Apple. Right? And what we're going to do is what I'm from this date, for from the date. That this episode drops Ford. We're going to look at the span of a week and all the reviews that we see on there. We're going to pick one of them to win. This autographed copy. So, how we going to audit? Are we going to break the seal and autograph the inside?
00:40:23You want to talk on the phone and then people can choose to cut open and keep the cellophane K-O-K. The inside of the on the on the on the little slip, cover that DVD. I think we should do that so that they know that that is the one website and we'll send them to the one. The tiger never been opened. Well, except for us to autograph, copy of UHF, write a review, put her on an Apple ever talk to you and you could be the lucky winner. Yep, go start writing.
00:41:07I got a good review to you. This isn't exactly a random drawing. It's not who has the most flowery to the last thing I want is like a sonnet written for us on there.
00:41:27This portion of irritable dad syndrome is brought you by diff liquid, concentrated wallpaper stripper with its unique enzyme action. If dissolves old paste and cuts wallpaper removal time-and-a-half. Let's face it back in the day. Removing wallpaper was a real pain in the ass and nobody wanted to do it. Well, not anymore. This is Fast and Easy, and will make your next renovation project, more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Whatever the hell that means. So, stop by your local hardware store and ask for diff and tell him you heard about it on irritable dead syndrome back to you. Mike and Demon. All right, I'm going way deep in the vault for this story. Okay, and this particular story involves a business and I'm just going to tell the story regular name of the business, even though this happened, 25 years ago. You think it would negatively impact, our business just being mentioned. On her show or because of the story of us. So Whoppers doesn't have to worry about
00:42:27Business being Bell Ice Cream. They're all perfectly. This is about twenty-five years ago. My buddy Allen and I we lived in Tennessee. We were buddies. We hung out all the time. We went to college together, and he asked if I wanted to go hiking with him and I said, yeah, that sounds like fun is a beautiful fall day. We're going to go hiking, and we're going to go up Roan Mountain to this great place to go hiking. So he's driving, we're in his car and we're going up this long winding road that takes you up top Road Mountain. Okay, on the drive up there.
00:43:20His car, craps out, the transmission goes out. Luckily. It went off in a spot that had like a little place to drive off this off and plumbing of the sun. Exactly. A car off the road and look thinner than you could see transmission fluid. Just so we're like almost up top of the mountain and this is way, before cell phones. We managed to turn the car around and he coasts down to the bottom. Finally, get to a flat space. We go about as far as we can go and then we park the car. Like I said, neither of us have cell phones. So we walk probably 10 minutes and we come up to, this white trailer has trailer home there on the side. I have very, very long blonde hair at the time. Okay, and this was back in the day.
00:44:20People tend to look at you funny. Like what's that long haired boy doing here? Knock on the door. So the lady comes to the door and I said, can I use your phone are? Cars broken down? Right? And I need to call a tow truck. She says we'll come on in and I said, I don't want to impose if you have a cordless or we can just make the call out here on the porch. And she says, okay, so she gets the phone when she brings it out to me. Then I said, I don't know who to call. Do you have a phone book? Can I borrow your phone book? This one, the other lady in the house comes up. She says what's going on and they said these boys are cars broken down and they need to call a tow truck issues with want. You just called.
00:44:56I hate banjos in my head when it's so she walks and she has it. She knows the phone number for right off the top of her head. And I can't mention the name of the company, but I'll tell you. But but the tow trucking company was named after a very famous character off, a very popular show from the 80s. She knows the number off the top of her head. How do you know the number of the tow trucking company Rothschild. I don't know. But she's she calls and she says, yes, we've got a couple of Fellers. Hear their car is broken down and they need a tow truck and they said okay, we'll be out about 15 minutes. So she said okay. So then I tell the nice lady on her porch.
00:45:43I need to make one of the phone call. I need to call Johnson City and and have somebody. Come and pick us up. Is it okay if I make one more call? Absolutely. So I make another phone call. I called my mom and she's the only person I know who's home. You can come and get us. I called Mom and explain to where we were what's going on. And she says, okay, now she's about 40 minutes away. Okay? Okay. While I'm on the phone with my mom to other guys walk up to the house. Okay, complete strangers on a man who lives in the house. Comes out. And one of the guys who wants up and asks the elderly man who says, they'll be lame and ask them if they can help you and they said it was. Yeah, we were going to go fishing across the across the street there in your creek. We were going to park here. We were wondering what you would charge us and he's as well.
00:46:30What would you charge me? What we wouldn't charge you nothing. Well, I'm not going to charge you. Nothing either. All right. Okay. It's like stuck in the middle of Mayberry Hee Haw. So we walk back to the car as we walk back to the car. We wait and we wait. And finally the tow truck comes to doors open to guys, get out of the tow truck. The right, there's the driver whose just like some guy in his probably in his thirties that the guy in the passenger's seat.
00:47:05I'm not making any accusations that his eyes were bloodshot. Okay, to look like you had dropped salsa and each of them over and over and over where he's seen better days. He's a little bit on the sweaty side, a little bit on the car on the road. We weren't sarcastic. Yes. Yes, it is. So the guy driving pulls the truck up and backs and get the car ready. Mister bloodshot, starts talking to us and he says, case, you was wondering why there's two of us trained to use the left, and I can't drive because of the DUI and I lost my license.
00:47:54So Alan and I are thinking this is this is like call somebody else, you know, bloodshot guy or the dude who doesn't know how to operate the lift. So, without without giving away, what we're clocking out, in my mind. I have imagined its bloodshot guy, aha, wearing a certain outfit with a certain hat. The certain. Yes. I got that but in my mind he is. So that's why I just picturing him bloodshot but so he can't drive because he lost his license cuz of a DUI. Yeah, the other guy ain't trying to do the lift. So they get the car up on the left and then they said, all right, boys, we ready to go.
00:48:52And we said, what do you mean? Get on. It will drive you back to where you're going to your mom's already on the way. It's a truck. Someone sitting on somebody's lap.
00:49:11And I don't know what's going on. And also they ask is how we plan on paying Alan doesn't have any money. I don't have any money for hiking. We told him we would have to pay you when we get back to John's like the start of a joke, a badge to get one of those. So we told them that we've got a ride coming and that we need to wait. And then we can drive you. And like my rice already on the way. I can't call and cancel the ride.
00:49:38So this was an awkward 20, some minutes of kind of waiting on my mom to come. Yeah.
00:49:45And the guy driving, the truck won't stop staring at me about what I don't know what and Alan, and I just kind of kind of figured off and I said, are you getting a Deliverance? Kind of mom shows up? So did you have to wait with these two gentlemen, while your mom was coming? Yes. In the side of the road yet? Cuz they were following us back to take it all the way back there. They were going to take us the 40, some minutes to the four of us in a three-seater.
00:50:35No, I'll take a nap and they were making sure that they would get paid. So, we get back in. This is on a Sunday and where we live Banks were open on Sunday, right? So, my mom paid for the truck driver. Oh, my Lord had the toe Monday and that was something serious hit with
00:51:05This awkward pauses brought to you by Kenner toys. America's favorite toys are made at dinner back to you. Mike and Darryl.
00:51:16I'm curious because I, I I like, when we have opinions on things that are opposite. Okay? Okay, because those are the most juicy fights on the irritable Down syndrome. So you say here. I hate it. When I make coffee at work and no one sees me do it. Yeah. I'm the opposite. I don't want anybody to see my make coffee like a ninja. I, if I get, I tense up if somebody, if I, If somebody walks in and sees me making coffee what mean, I don't want them like, hovering over me, watching how I do it, making sure that it cuz me and I used two packs of coffee. And he had a one and a half I used to cuz I like my coffee. Like man likes his coffee yet. If I'm assuming that the reason you want people, see you make the copies. You want the credit.
00:52:02Do you want to let you know that they did their having coffee because of Darren's foresight? I on the other hand. I wanted to be a coffee. I made that. Yeah, I wanted to be like I don't have time to make a coffee. I'm busy. I don't have time for this. But then my addiction I have to have caffeine drop some point and it's got to be made. So I'd like time when I go in there to make it but whenever I go in to the break area and there's an empty pot. I always goes well, I guess you want me to make something. Yeah, you know how many times I've complained about people, mistaking my name? Yeah. It's been over a health thing over there. Do you know?
00:52:52We were going to that. We've been eating out a lot. We just got to run ourselves ragged and we've been to the pool and we were exhausted and we thought, let's just order out and the kids want pizza. And we can eat pizza all the time. And let me see you and the kids and they thought of so hard on getting self because you had so much pizza. Some point. You need to be able to normally, thank you, anyways, so we went to Chick-fil-A. Okay, but I told you about that. It's delicious. Yeah, absolutely delicious. It doesn't have a lot of calories. I know it's a salad really fills you up 330.
00:53:40You get that in 12.
00:53:44So what it comes with nuggets, I can put on it.
00:53:49So I was going to go get the for salads. The everyone else is at the hospital and got a Cobb salad. We got four cops. Will you please record yourself ordering the salad? Cuz I want to hear them mistake. Your name. I want to hear what they call you this time, because Chick-fil-A is notorious for screwing up my name. Sound like okay, so going through the line of pull up in the guy comes up and I'm going to order for cops. Put it in there. That'll be 33, whatever and I don't say thank you. I say keep it real. All right. Yeah. Yeah. It's so you keep it real so I pull up and I got my phone out.
00:54:49Cuz it came from. And what are they do? Darren Darren perfect to get my name. Totally, right? I've got Linguistics as experts working at the meeting. They were so close to Darren. I'm thinking that's like, a Darren Cox boxes, that yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the reason that cuz I'm going to wear a dress. That's why they messed up. Messing up, my take your name because they're running. They've got this like whole operation where they've got like orders made for four cars at a time. Haha, right? And they're not like McDonald's, the McDonald's, where you, you pull up the thing and then they don't, you don't know what you're going to get out. The other end of just throwing a burger at your face. And that's, it. Chick-fil-A seems to care that you're going to get the right food in there. So, something that's happened to me a few times more than a few times.
00:55:49Is, you know, I like to go to Starbucks? Yes, sometimes in the morning most times in the morning. So the one that I go to, I'm usually the only person in there at that time, it's me and the workers. I walk in its empty. There's three people behind the think. Everybody's going through drive-through. I don't have time for that. I go right up to the counter. I always get a bottle of water, and I get a pike. And I used to say, large Pike in defiance of them wanted me to save venti, because I'm not a Roman Emperor, you know what I mean? It's stupid. And I don't want to see what Ron day and they have a large in a medium, but there's no small. But I've given up acquiesce over the years and I've said, okay, I'm just going to say what you want me to say. I want to vent and I wasn't as penultimate myself.
00:56:43That's a reference to web. So I'm just like, I'm just going to say the thing that you want me to say because I don't want to talk to you anymore. They always ask you. Your name is Starbucks. Cuz it going to rain in the car. I'm the only one in there.
00:57:01They can I have a name for the order and I and I just say you find out if somebody walks in after it doesn't matter cuz I'm not getting the foo foo cappuccino with the clown head, literally. Take this right, take this cup with split it, under that spout, pour from that spout until the cup is filled and then hand me that cup. That's what I want to happen. If you don't need to write my name down for that, you know.
00:57:33Just go on with your life and let me go in my life, but I always have to tell him my name and then they take the time to write it on the cup. They're going to walk 4 feet behind them.
00:57:43Yeah, it's like they're going to, you know, what? I feel like I'm in, you know, the movie Memento, where the guy has to keep writing down. Yes, cuz he has no short-term memory or going to get over there going to fill it and they're going to stop and turn around with a Blank Stare. Who are you? Who are you? What is this in my hand? I'm sorry. That's a, that's a venti. I ordered a grande. I went a whole different language on you and I am Mike or am I Mark? You didn't write it down and you don't know right fired. That's what I want to do. Yeah, but you don't cuz you're not a jerk, but I'm not that type of a jerk. Oh, yeah. Well, this is been fun, guys. Thank you for listening. This is episode 53. We want you to go back to listen, if you haven't heard episode 52, that was our best. SF clip-on. There, has a certain Flume off in the mall and you want to go back in and hear the episode that came from. It's it's it's all in the liner notes. Exactly.
00:58:43So you're listening to this on exactly. Put up a review. On Apple podcast. You may get a free coffee autograph by me and Mike, the Weird Al Yankovic movie of the year. I stop by crowbar on Thursdays. We've made be there even if we're not going to be there in a refund. If you don't know what, stop by the Crowbar means, then don't leave your house. Hope to see you next week.
00:59:18Hey guys, before we go. Remember, keep it real.
00:59:29Play music by Weird. Al.
Transcribed by algorithms.