The Podcast for People with No Friends!
Dec. 7, 2021

IDS #67 - Humorous Erectus

IDS #67 - Humorous Erectus

Mike is in a mood this week because of a hurt ankle, his kid broke his toe and his dog ate a tube of delicious Neosporin.  Speaking of hospitals, Darin's wife had surgery and his rabbit almost met an early death.

We introduce a new segment this week... Dave's Comedy Corner!

All this plus the guys talk about lazy eyes, the Beatles, hitchhikers and fish butts!

(It's a good thing we don't pay Quacker the cursing duck by the quack or we'd be in the poorhouse with this one!)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/irritabledadsyndrome)

Transcript
00:00:00Warning. The following segment contains language that may sound inappropriate or offensive. You were discretion is advised. All right, we're going to do the whatever.
00:00:09Stupid, cold open. Somebody cluck like a chicken or something, and then you're going to go and then have something like on the floor. Imma going to drop it a little bit more.
00:00:38Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. I got nothing this week. Absolutely. Nothing here of your host. Mike and Darren.
00:00:46Hey, I'm like, I don't want to come off like it now 67 episodes into it or I'm going to bring it under. Brady ready. I'm ready. 321. Hey, I'm here. I might. Welcome to episode 67. Yeah. This is going to be a rough episode total, man. I'm in a mood is in a very bad of a very bad mood. I don't know that. It's so much a bad, but you're just in a bad mood. I'm in a bad mood. Okay, my ankle hurts and it makes me mad. Once you tell everybody what happened. I'm going to tell everybody what happened. My ankle, I twisted and, or strained my ankle. I know, I don't know exactly sure what happened to my ankle, right. But it's weird because it hurts randomly and then I'll stand up and I'll begin to walk and it really hurts, right? And then I'll just say, you know what? I'm tired of dealing with a lame ankle. So just start walking like a note.
00:01:46A human beIN, right? And then I go sit down. I'm like, I don't have an ankle problem anymore. And after I sat down for like 30 seconds or more, get back up. It's like I'm all lame again. How did you what did you do to your ankle? If it's not important. The important thing is that it hurts? Okay, something in the rain and I had my foot in a weird angle, right? And I pushed with Force, tangential, engine, engine.
00:02:22Oblique.
00:02:25Obtuse obtuse to the oblique angles, it was it was okay and on Nelly.
00:02:33Did you move it? Then ultimately lead to type an ultimately moved it. Oakley moved. It obliquely.
00:02:40And that caused some stratification of the nerves within the humerus. Erectus.
00:02:48Also known as the funny voter. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's happening.
00:02:54English. The box you can cut big. God. This all happened within the first two minutes and don't tell him. I can cut. Your welcome. Do you need to cut it out. I never watch Family Guy.
00:03:17Hey, what happened? By the way, if you never mind, we got that. Let me find it. We got a text from Fred, Fred Willard. No, no, no, he's dead. It's a deer irritable. Dad syndrome. The whole family has been listening and after the past two weeks, the whole family. Can't stop saying hey, what happened? So thanks for your text. Rules are always good. I keep doing whatever it was. I was doing it. I love that. Everybody said yes, so I you you sent a run-down and I dutifully read it 5 minutes after you arrived. Before you. I got here 30 seconds before we started recording. Yes, so we're ready to go and I've already deep-sixed it because I said, I'm going to get out of the gate. I need to let everyone know that my ankle hurts and I'm going to be a bitch, right? So
00:04:15If, if you're the type of listener, blame it on the new listener. Welcome. Good luck. Good luck.
00:04:24There's no reason to explain like with the numbers told us that we have the episode money within the first two minute, but that's not a license. I think we have been freaking hilarious. Oh my god. Did it in the first 30 seconds, but that's not the license to go back to. No. No. No, it's not, it's not going to do that. Well, I mentioned the text that we got from a fan and I wanted to encourage people, please send us a message on Instagram Facebook or Twitter and let us know what you like about the show and we'll keep doing it. Let us know what you don't like about the show and will also keep doing that. Give us challenges week. We got a crowbar. I'll go to the Crowbar and we'll make a Tik-Tok video. All of us ordering a drink from the Crowbar to share the weirdest drink idea that you have a wet.
00:05:24Russian and we'll kill order one from the crowbar.
00:05:30Hello, I'd like a wet Russian drinks or wet or dry gin.
00:05:43So you go ahead. I'm sorry. That's okay. I'm not. Okay side, sidebar, your honor. May I am making, I am making an effort to quit saying, I'm sorry, partially because I read an article that said you need to quit saying you're sorry all the time. Like if you interrupt someone just I'm sorry. Can you shut up you or something like that? I need to stop doing that because you're apologizing for nothing will for nothing but it gets making it seem like you using up. Some of their time is hurting them. Will it makes you look weak now? It does ineffective. So I'm going to quit saying I'm sorry, makes you look up an ultimate Edwin. Even when I offend or harm, someone you're not even. If you piss me off, you're not going to apologize. Especially not that. That's great. That's that's that's why
00:06:43I thought it was the hot. Fudge recipe with the type of Dad. I am. I spent like what 56 minutes to complain about my foot. My son broke his toe last night. I haven't even gotten there at your son's not complaining at all, know you not your ankle kind of hurts and you have your son's got a broken toe and he was like, hey, man, what's up? He was running full-tilt like Maverick. Okay, like like who's the guy with the ponytail that every makes fun of the way runs Above the Law, Steven Seagal, Stevie was running like Steven Seagal. I'm going to put a video in his hands clap. Have you ever seen Jeff Goldblum run on Disney? Plus there is the world according to Jeff Goldblum. He does and episode where he talks about people who collect and a boatload of money for sneakers. And he tries on a pair and he runs the freakishly most weirdest way I've ever seen anybody run.
00:07:43I need to put a video of Steven. Seagal running has Jeff Goldblum that are well-regarded for their runs. Like, Matt Damon. No one complains about the way. Matt. Damon Ross. Don't think I've ever seen him run born. I'm sure he ran somewhere in there. You know who I think runs really? Well? Tom Hanks, he does run forest. Where did Tom Cruise as somebody people make fun of. Or if they enjoy the way he runs. This is all tangential and penultimate to my story. My story is that Charlie was running through carpet and he ran to a section where there was high on the tile is slightly elevated and paying right there is middle toe also known as the penultimate. Oh and I got a call and you look at it till I'm not going to put a picture up on the thing. It's kind of split in the middle like the nail so that I took him to I'm going to go to a place cuz
00:08:43What we were told was it look like I was going to come off couch, and I don't want that to happen here cuz I can't. What am I going to do? First of all, boohbahs going to eat it right? And send them all. I'm going to pass out. And then Bess is left with dog hacking up. A nail kid with a missing title with a missing an outdoor worthless, husband of laying on the ground. So, we do my, I decided to take him to urgent care. It doesn't matter. I drove that way. It does matter to the story. I drove that direction. I missed the turn and I couldn't, I couldn't get into it. Okay. Yeah, every effort. Is he getting into every place? That's on a corner. Should automatically have two ways to get in on the one corner or on the other corner. I agree. And if you just want that one, if you missed the one to go up, like 7 Miles because I don't want to block everybody, that's trying to get to Wendy's and Popeyes and all that stuff. I want to go up in the air.
00:09:43So nobody goes on and come in that way. Well, guess what can't do it. There's a tree, there's a field there. So I just kept going on that road. I'm like, I'm not turning around, I could have turned around and gone back to do that. So, we went to children's hospital, because you didn't feel like turning around 18 minutes away.
00:10:04Like a dumbass.
00:10:07I like to do is turn around and I would have been right there. Actually, if I turn around this Google Maps, took me through some weird route. Haha. I think we went through dating at one point. Anyway, we get there and then five minutes later. We got gym, happy. All we got. We got the boys. Okay, okay, and you can cut that far down there. I'm going to cut you honest-to-god, cuz it makes no sense when people are listening to some mustard, cut it out.
00:10:38Doing it, I won't have to do it. What if you if we were doing it they're going to do not going to watch. And there. Are you guys going to stop watching if Mike stop talking to this way. He will. Here's the deal. We're driving back the welcome back parking lot. It's a children's hospital. There's an emergency room. My wife works there. Yeah, really? Yeah, it's Mike. I did not know that. You never know how I like how you don't pay attention to a damn thing. Don't, what's my last name? I mean, do you know any way the parking lot is in Jim, say, leave it in the parking lot. You can cut that.
00:11:25The parking lot is like a football field away from where you go in. Yes, what the? So I'm getting ready to pull into the drive-thru and then the nurse comes. And let's do some weird nurse touch my kid, so, I go over to the parking lot. And now I've got a kid, he's got a Barefoot with blood and so, I'm carrying them with my bum ankle in there. I can't believe she didn't, we get signed up and they have little board that shows what, what level, you would, how many you're in or number? 18? Okay. Like I said, Deli, yeah. Okay, took forever to get in there. In there we go. Through the whole thing, the nurse. What happened? Everybody's out of
00:12:05So Charlie had to tell at first, you didn't want to talk to anybody, but he told the story so many times and he started to get into it. Finally run at that. Tarp. It jumped up and I'm like,
00:12:22He called the Wonders. I was running like Maverick and she said you mean like Steven Seagal and some more like Steven Seagal. Now, I'm thinking what is doctor. The doctor comes in. The doctor comes in and now we unveil will we go to unveil the tow to the nurse? He comes in and looks at it and he gets down on one knee.
00:12:46He didn't propose to charge, but he took that would have been. We've been awesome schools of thought on this. Some doctors prefer to remove the nail immediately. Okay, and some prefer to leave it on, and let it fall off. K and said, okay. They said the decision, Point comes in. And then whether or not you've got a deep cut in the nail bed. Like, okay, we want Charlie's, just looking at both of us. Like, what into hockey stick is going on. Aha. So, he kind of went through this for a while. It became blatantly clear that I was going to be the one, making the medical decision on what to do with the toe. But I'm not a doctor, right? I'm an idiot. I just told you a story of where I drove an extra 18 minutes cuz I didn't want to stop and turn around, right? I'm going to make a decision about this kid's tow. You know what? When I whenever I take my kid to the hospital or to the doctor
00:13:46And you're filling out all the forms and it says, responsible party. Yeah, I always laugh out loud, but my name is skip this part of it. You know how they asked you that cuz he's already, he's been the children's hospital because he's a child and he's been hurt before. So he's in the books. He's on their grid. I failed the question. They asked you the answer. Okay. What's the child's birth date and full name to ask you that to make sure that you're not like some psycho path. I came the wrong birthday. You gave him Andrews, know, I flip it or I flipped the year and the thing I had it all jacked up. I had him. According to me. He was 19 years old and his birthday was just a month ago. You know what I do? When I take the kids for an appointment and I'm filling up the stuff. If there's people around you and it comes to the name. I will look at my son to go.
00:14:38What's your name? Besides Cameron dad? My name is Cameron, and I always think it's funny that I now, I looking like crap. What is his birthday? So, we're going through the decision of what to do. With this kid's tow. My child's Tok.
00:15:03Do you leave it in? Do you not leave it in? So I knew and he said we have to numb the toe if we want to take it off, right? And Charlie said does that hurt? And he looked him dead in the eye and said, yeah, it's a needle in your toe. So immediately Charlie's freaked out. I was trying to be a little more gentle earlier. I said, I think they're having them your toe. I did tell him how they're going to do a website. I told him and you can call me a bad dad. If he has if it was possible to like get knocked out or something, right? And Ice. I don't know. I'll see you but I never did see any way. He said, if you want to remove the tow, we've got to do that to numb it. The toenail toenail cuz I took it off, he could wear it on a chain around her neck, and they don't have the ability to do that, in that urgent care. He would have to go to the emergency department and that could be another three or four hour. Wait, so
00:16:03That point I'm like, well.
00:16:05Maybe we I mean, this is almost 10:00 at this point. Like maybe we can. I just pull out. Make sure that it just you know, I said, what's the, what's the worst case scenario? We leave it on, maybe we could check with his primary care physician later his PCP PCP. Hey, you know, me is angel dust. We could ask another doctor or someone doesn't give you a look. I'm totally shocked. So anyway, we went that route. He had his food bathed in this weird stuff at Warren's. So no. It was like they put a thing on it. Then they put a boot on him little thing. Haha. And then we left. Yeah. I am tired. I am hungry. I'm walking fast across the parking lot. He's having trouble keeping up.
00:16:55I told him I'll be in the car. Getting it warmed up. So he's home. Now the dog the dog, one of the things we have to do is put Neosporin on his toe. So best got it. We have a big tube of Neosporin. Now, you have to put Neosporin on the dogs out this morning. Charlie. Charlie's to the reason I mentioned, who buys because today, haha. I ate an entire large tube of Neosporin to the point where best had to call the Poison Control Center. Look at the vet told her to call if she had to make a $75 donation to the ASPCA to get advice on how to keep the dog from dying.
00:17:44I don't know. That's bullcrap. Yes.
00:17:49What's even more bullets? Is that this dog? I think I pointed out an episode 66. There's a chew toy within five feet of any section of the Neosporin Cheez-Its bags markers. Okay, when I came over, the dog didn't attack me at the door. Where's the dog best has him as her? Okay, locked in the upstairs bedroom. Okay, I'm proud of myself. Haha, for not completely screwing up. Last night. I did get my son medical attention.
00:18:23Irritable dead syndrome is probably brought to you, by this liquid concentrated, wallpaper stripper Otis elevators and bone-sucking mustard, please use their products whenever possible, and help them make a boatload of money. Thank you. Now, back to our program.
00:18:40So I understand he went to Morgantown. I did, I visited my family including my brother-in-law. Gym.at Brothers. We went to Morgantown for Thanksgiving and it was fun. Good. We didn't have to cook a damn thing. Yeah, we got food. I drove 20 minutes to go to Tudor's Biscuit World and they were closed. I spent 95% of my time in Morgantown editing this podcast episode 66 and I became acutely aware of that. Every time, one of my kids will come up and say, will you play with this or Jim? It would come up and say, will you play with me? Will you do something? You're in here? It's family time. Like everybody, get the hell away from me. I'm trying to edit this thing. That 10 people are going to listen. So your brother-in-law came up and said, hey Mike, will you play with me? He did and you said no, I said in a little bit.
00:19:39Any we did watch a movie, didn't you guys with what? They'd some Neosporin and you were fine. We watch the movie Psycho ape together on Night Flight. Psycho a psycho 8. Okay. That's an ape psycho. That's, that's crazy. Clearly, a guy in a suit. Okay, and he's got a banana. He keep stabbing people with bananas and crushing their heads. Sounds fun. But hold. You married to a lady with yellow hair and then climbs a building falls. Does he like flinging poop with people? He doesn't own one of the victims psycho. 8-cycle. Okay, we're going to watch it. One of these days. I need to review it first thing.
00:20:18Oh, I thought you were watching Psycho, if I was at home with my wife and two kids, no one is able to come have some skating with us which, you know, is what it is. I'm sorry. I know you're not sorry. You said you're going to stop me apologizing but one of the cool things that happened was where I work.
00:20:38They worked out this sweet deal with graders. You don't like graders cuz you don't like their ice cream, but graders gave everybody is overrated a free pie. Okay. So here's the situation. Here's how the pie run down goes at our house. My son, Cameron loves the pumpkin pie. Okay, whatever. I'll eat it, but I'm not crazy about it. Okay, my son, Jacob likes, the Dutch apple pie and I like that. I wanted to get a chess pie, but nobody else wanted to test by the hell's, a chess pie. I knew you were going to do that. I meant to get the ingredients. It's delicious, is like a custard ecme brown. Sugar pie is yummy. Oh my God. It just every there's a heaven. And every little you had me a cinnamon and brown sugar and brown sugar Pop-Tarts. He's sorta kinda. I'll have to get the increases. I know. So we decided that we were going to get a Dutch apple pie.
00:21:38That's the one that all three of us could agree with all four of us with Libby that we were going to like my friend, Christina, who I work with. Yeah. She was looking at, as long as it's Aunt Bee know. She was looking at all the choices and she asked me, she said what's a cheese pie? It's not a cheese pie. It's a chess pie. Anyway, Christine is not crazy about any types of Pi, but she went and got her free pie and she gave it to me, which is very, very sweet. And so, since I'm the only one who likes. Chess pie or cheese pie, I got to eat the whole damn thing, but I know, right? And how do you spell chess pie chess? That was cheese on top of her class, was she
00:22:28She did. Majoring in Thai, just didn't give a speech at her graduation.
00:22:40Luckily, for you. This podcast has been on for now 67 episodes and she's never listen to, she listened to the first one. We did was text retention and that's what you say when you got me earlier. Never and it was just that all of us know. So, do you think that like you to accuse you to fancy? You think he's got like a neighbor has a neighbor. That's never listen to you too. And they see each other down by the mailbox. And the guys, like I've been meaning to listen to Josh for today. I just never know. I need to catch up and I really want to listen to those album. It's only like 10. Most we've only been around for 45 years and I think at this point when you're born you're given a copy of the Joshua Tree like it with the blue and the pink stripe and the Joshua tree. And they say good luck. There's got to be some just got to be an a brother or the edge and edges like I play guitar for really
00:23:40Like professional. Did you take lessons?
00:23:45Do you give less? Oh, yeah, that's my son or somebody that tries to one-up you but I've been told, I've been told that I'm pretty good. I'm good.
00:24:05Oh, I hope that's happened.
00:24:12Beyblade. And now it's time for Dave's Comedy Corner. So, what's the deal with that girl who wanted a hippopotamus for Christmas? Can you imagine getting a hippo, and a week later? It tear you, limb, for left. Those things are made.
00:24:28Anywho, this has been Davis Comedy Corner.
00:24:36I can't have to touch my face. I can't touch my face. The song I Can't Stop my leg. I'll be singing another couple years. If I keep throwing on the way, I will not be able to touch my face, and I won't be able to run Bill wrecks around know. I've had a thing. I've had a thing for a long, long time that I cannot allow food to touch my face. Why is that? I don't know what it is. But how we got on this? Cuz before we started rolling, you and I were talking about Mac Donald's Donald's. You feel like the last the last handful of times. I went to McDonald. It wasn't that amazing. Have you ever seen when I drive past it? Like have you ever been out to me with me to get a burger? Many times you see me, eat it with a knife and fork.
00:25:26No, you eat a burger with a knife and fork unless it's easily handle it Bowl.
00:25:32The McDonald's McDonald's. Burgers are in Easley.
00:25:39Red, Robin, dos things. If, if if I pick up B fall apart and where it gets on your, your side here. All G. That's why I can't do a girl, a goatee or any facial hair, cuz that stuff gets all in there. I can, you give me the heebie-jeebies. I like nails on a chalkboard. Think about it. Even when I'm not eating and I get you wake up in a cold sweat, I do. Okay. I told best one of my worst all-time nightmares. I can't believe I'm about to put that on. This is to be eating pizza with somebody and have them take a slice and reach over and just rub it down my face.
00:26:13I've had nightmares about that before I wake up screaming.
00:26:18That I feel like my heart is having problems right now, because I'm thinking about it. You don't want food to touch your face. So here's some, here's the deal. I love McDonald's sausage biscuits. The other delicious. I will usually bring them home and eat them with a knife and fork. But if I'm driving and I'm going to get one. Haha. I will have a roll of paper towels and after every bite, I reach over, get a fresh paper towel, and completely a fresh paper towel after every bite. Yeah. I can't take it. Need to take while driving out, wrist. I risk, death. Haha, Snickers bars. You know how every once while you have that caramel Trail off in front of my children in the back and I've been alone with him and I've had it, I've had a Snickers bar, and I didn't, and it's come down. I feel like I know they're going to tell Mom, I know it's just horrible, but I can't.
00:27:20I can't do it. I've not eating certain food. I've cut certain foods out of my diet because I can't find a way to do them without them touching my face, haha.
00:27:29So, I believe that people's little fears and foibles and things like that. Begin to magnify as they get older as they get penultimate. I think one thing that brings any peace is I think I've found the thing about myself that's going to just to annoy Andrew and Charlie when they when I get like, really super old and I go over and I'm
00:27:52That's going to talk to my face, right? In my face. Dad. You're not going to get gravy. My oldest son is going to get so mad because we don't know how he does this, but he can take a bite of something and he'll get food on both of his cheekbones. How much food are you trying to put in your face at one time?
00:28:21I'd like buddy of what it said. Good second right there, and he wipes, and then he doesn't still there.
00:28:28I've had. But you know what? When I eat, I'm constantly wiping my mouth. Cuz I don't, I, I mean, I don't know. I just don't want people seeing me with spaghetti sauce all over my mouth. But yeah, you just got to stick with soup.
00:28:42What time is goes down. I've had that happen. Sometimes. I don't care. Sometimes, I'm just a barbarian, like, soup chicken noodle. If I'm, if I'm sick. I'll just do that. And I don't care if it rolls down my face. Yeah, and another one that will cause me to cuss and down here. I think I've told you before for people not watching. We're in my basement. And for some reason, whoever designed this house, the right down here, goes right up into one of my, my son's bedroom. So they can hear everything down here. And I can hear everything up there. And I have been sitting run into that vent, eating, salsa and drops all sat down on a fresh t-shirt. And I will just cussed to to beat how to beat the devil. Beat the band, beat the band. How Custer? Beat the
00:29:29Text sucks. This is our worst episode is like the worst through and I've listened to a bunch of our past. We say this is the worst episode in almost every single one of them. Can I tell you something else? Our best episodes are best episodes of the ones that we think are the worst. Okay, but I'm concerned for this week's ad for this week. I'm concerned that we're going to continue to think that it's going to going to going to get in our brain like it in there.
00:30:06Well, one of the things that we say every episode is that we record the show in advance. We do, we're recording this one on a Wednesday, which I think is, what's throwing you off. We normally record as we normally record on a Tuesday. Last week. We were recorded on a Monday. I'm all jacked up over that one. Yeah. So this week we're recording on a Monday. The day after we record this episode. My wife is having shoulder surgery. She has been in just in excruciating pain and they're going to go in. They, they don't know if it's a torn ligament. They don't know if she's got bones. Rubbing up against one, another or, but they're going to go when they're going to fix it. And I'm hoping that everyone can send her positive thoughts, and, and prayers and Good Vibes. Not only that her shoulder gets fixed, but she has to take care of her.
00:30:54Yeah, and I'm just scared to death cuz I'm going to be like, honey. Where's the bread? Can you get in here and open? This refrigerator for me? I would, I mean, here in about how you sit through movies like Dune and Lord of the Rings. I would, I would be, would be a murder. It would be a murder. I would have to tell him. Yeah, he fell onto that knife in his back.
00:31:18And then the pans I thought fell on his face. I can guaran-damn-tee, you one thing out of the hospital. I'm not going to run ten Paces ahead of her like you do with Charlie. Good sixty seventy feet away from McDonald's. I told him if he didn't hurry up and hobble his ass over there. I was leaving him. Here's the thing. Tomorrow when we go to the doctor. Okay, I'm on board of this. Libby is actually on board and so are the boys. We're going to ask the doctor if she can get an iron an arm like Bucky has in the Avengers and then changes smash. Whatever the hell she wants vibranium? Vibranium armor. Now, I know what's the closest thing to vibranium? Do you think? Cuz vibranium Fake It Ain't Real Steel, Titanium Titanium, Titanium, or that's where we're going to Aspen adamantium. That's what Adam Adam, Adam, Adam Ant Adam. And yeah, let me ask you this if you're driving.
00:32:18The doctor and you missed the turn. Are you going to go to another doctor half hour away? Or I'm going to turn around to go to the one where she's got, you can't just go into any play enough for surgery. Know. What shoulder is it? It's the right one because all that's her football throwing on. It is our football. No swing. A sword is going to be able to play the guitar. She will be for the ukulele. She will be able to cut wood for the 10. Now. She won't. We're screwed. You get her fixed. You'll be able to flip flap Jacks in the pan. Yeah, we're screwed. Totally screw. Can I tell you something? And I've swear to God, this is true. Okay. I hate the word. Flapjacks.
00:33:06Did I tell you what happened to her good friend? Michael Flannery, not yet. He bought a ring doorbell. Okay, they delivered it to his house and somebody stole it to ring. Doorbell is supposed to you're supposed to watch your bored.
00:33:31Poor guy.
00:33:35I'm sick of my neighbors. I am too. They won't pick up their dog. That's, that's that's true. They won't pick it up while I'm sick of my neighbors acting. Like there's so much better than we are because their Christmas decorations. We've got the purple and blue and green lights at the perfect pine tree in our yard. And, you know, I decorated my house for Christmas. Looks like a Ray Charles did it. I wasn't going to do the tree in our front yard because it's very twiki. It's not a pine. Right? So but Libby and the kids wanted me to decorate the tree and I like it's going to look like you threw something at it and that's where it landed like that. So I decorated the tree in the front yard. And seriously, if it looks like your son did it with his broken foot. So, for a long time, I had the attitude. I have a line ready for anyone that says anything about our Christmas decorations? If we go out there.
00:34:35And somebody's like I'll look I have Christmas decorations and they blink and they have the Santa does his thing and all this stuff. My line back is all we prefer to use our energy towards family friends in Jesus Christ.
00:34:50But you go ahead and have your little go ahead and waste all the electricity, you want. I'm sure an executive at Lowe's or and where Home Depot is going to get a nice fat bonus because of you spending the money that could have otherwise gone to save a homeless person or homeless child's life or fed. Somebody fed somebody. Or I'm sure that you're proud of yourself. If you'll excuse me. We're going to go back in here and have family time. But last year, I made the mistake of buying a couple of lights and putting them out there. And I actually had was three lights are for what I had, what is known as a hoot. So I'm a, I'm a put some more stuff out there this year. I don't know. I'll make a decision. I don't have the next chance. I'm going to have to be able to do. That would be December 23rd. Okay, so then that's what I'll put them out there. I remember Lester you had
00:35:43Your Christmas tree was up until March in the mat cuz you got a Rudolph abominable snowman out of here until our Christmas. We're not very Timely.
00:36:04You're listening to irritable dead syndrome. The only podcast that cares about your feelings. Speaking of neighbors. One of my other neighbors Who currently is not, pissing me off is Jason Durbin who you continuously like to call Frank turbine, Francis turbine. I got a message from him, his grandfather. His middle name is Francis. So how bizarre is that? What I say? I wanted to, here's another thing that's not on your run down, but it occurred to me today. Why I keep thinking he's Frank turbine. Okay, I'm thinking Frank drebin from police Quantum. Yeah, Lieutenant Frank drebin. Frank drebin. That's why that keeps popping in my head. That makes sense. Now, Leslie Nielsen. Yeah. Yeah, you like Little Debbie snack cakes to the ball and every year I buy the Little Debbie Christmas trees and then no.
00:37:04Christmas trees. That got the white filling inside me and the boys always fight of them. Okay, cuz I usually eat three of them and then I left you. The boys have to think that's fair unless they want more. Get a job. Yeah. Thank you. Anyway, they come in the big pack now. Okay, fat, Christmas trees and all I'm saying is, is it's going to be the best Christmas ever. I've got to be careful with those things because those are the types. I start to have fantasies of cakes. I start to think. What? If I unwrap three of them and put one in the middle of 2 and 1/8 in like a big sandwich, but I want to point out. I don't know if he's kind of like that. Grilled cheese burger could have had in Cleveland. I'm pretty sure that these existed as a kid. I remember eating them, the Frozen Christmas tree, like little candy Frozen.
00:38:04You like ice cream sandwiches without the without the sandwich that middle part, mint, ice cream, and green, and into shape of a tree in the head, like, little sprinkle balls on like ornaments. Do you remember having a pretty sure that never hate those, like, in an idiot and the ice cream was meant. And I noticed that every time I hear, or think of, or look at mint ice cream, I think that's absolutely disgusting. And then, if I try some, I eat all that there is around me, and then I buy more and I keep doing that until eventually I get on something else. I think they call that addictive behavior, I think so. I think, so, but damn, those things were good. And I look for him all the time. Now, I can't find pops like a boss, like a boss, like a baller. They had that coating of ice, and then you broke through that, you got to the pudding thing. You'll bring him into this. Don't bring him into this.
00:39:05Also, prohibits Anonymous with how we haven't been canceled yet. It is a flipping Miracle. I'm just saying, I really really miss those Christmas tree things and they brought Twinkies back. What Twinkies would I was just threw in the towel and then some company picked up that mantle and brought Twinkies back. Well, they save them before they went away, but luckily, I had like 20 cases in mi Y2K. She must bring those damn Christmas tree ice cream things by Good Humor.
00:39:43I'm a good humor, man. You know that you brought it up another Foo Fighters song. Now, it's not the Foo Fighters. You remember. Good Humor, ice cream. Remember Good Humor, ice cream with. If you don't remember the theme song for The Good Humor, man. I'm going to throw this at you. The next time you tell me to cut something out of going to throw this marker, at you, going to go. Why do they call the lazy? I like the other guys doing work because the muscle doesn't work as well as the muscles in this. I so it's lazy cuz the muscles lazier than than the one on people like, these call me the medical term for alternating esotropia. I like that better. I like to have alternating exotropia and I was the name of my band.
00:40:42It's like calling whatever they used to call mute people. Dumb.
00:40:47You remember you, deaf, and dumb? Yeah. Yeah, you can't do that anymore. You can't the r-word didn't even like, saying that. I like I never said that I learned. It was mute. And I like, where did dumb come from? It is just because somebody's talking to him, and they're just looking at you and then cuz I can't speak in a liquid. And then that becomes, like, a thing that people are insensitive is horrible. I don't like that. I'm glad we live now. More people are sensitive. But no one ever says anything to hurt anyone. Steal it close attention to people's feelings or needs fetty WAP. Exactly respect. Everybody else happy. We live in 2020.
00:41:40I took my family to the movies. We went to see Encanto. It's the new Disney movie about the house. The house is all the people in the house magical powers. It's a really good movie. All right, my family and I we are all big. Disney fans were Pixar, Marvel fans of Star Wars fans in any way. So we went to see this and we're really enjoying it. However, okay, kids sitting behind us. They would not shut up. They kept me, they weren't like, they were like a little kids and their parents are sitting the row behind them. The look that Libyan I were turning and giving them wasn't working. Okay, and I got to look at the parents. When I walked in. I didn't have a good feeling about bringing this up anymore. I'm trying to get the kids to be quieter. So Libby leans up and I leaned up and we looked at each other and the movies, like a couple minutes into it. And she gives me that exhausted exasperate. Look like, can you believe this?
00:42:40And I asked her, if you want to go. Do you want to move? And then she says, do you want to move? And I thought she said, yes, let's move. So, I looked at Jacob and I said we're going to move seats. He's like, what we're going to move. Are you ready? And then moved here? Living in Cameron stayed right where they were.
00:43:10across cuz we moved the seats right across the aisle, and I looked over her like
00:43:17What are you doing? Here? Are you you looked at me like what are you doing? So now Jacob and I have moved her sitting right there and I like, what? Just got to be awkward as hell. If we get up and move right back to where we were. So I thought maybe Libby didn't hear or maybe she know you're going to double down, you're going to stay where you are. If we stay here, maybe Libby's, waiting for particular seemed to happen in the movie. Kover. They don't move and I'm like, I could have swore she agreed that we were going to move. So, you know, this whole time she's in Sioux City.
00:44:05The hell is this right? Is this, right? So I'm trying to imagine what she's thinking. I sure she's imagining what I'm thinking and it's still just awkward if we get up and move. Plus, we're at the point now where we're going to distract all the other people in the movie theater. I think this is an example of a situation where it's perfectly acceptable to text the person and say what the fuck are you doing? Okay, and that Libby is still sitting there. No,
00:44:46Set up Yuval abandoned her totally abandon her. I keep looking over her way to, like, to Dinah, now. She's just she's still watching the new K. So I'm hoping that since we've moved and now Cameron has moved that, the people get the point that they're being obnoxious in, their kids are allowed to let her
00:45:10We can't hear them from where you're sitting here after the movie is with the whole rest of the food. I thought that was the play at the popcorn, popcorn in the person, the code, but I thought this was your idea. So when you like I thought that you had that planned like it was under one arm and then one other person would have the yo, y'all need to work on your tablet to the signals. We have to guess. Yeah, you to this way. Me anyway, we enjoyed the movie, but still after we moved and then Cameron moved the people, still talk the entire.
00:46:10We're going to work through this the next time and it would have to be prepared for our next movie in. This is happen with multiple. Multiple Disney movies. Usually, the animated one, when the trailer starts, I think, okay. All right, here it is. What is, what is this one? And then I think we'll, this is stupid and then it starts to get my attention.
00:46:39And then somewhere the second part of the the trailer or near the end. Yeah, I think this is going to be the greatest movie of all time and I have to watch it immediately. It doesn't matter how stupid. And this, I remember this trailer specifically because I remember thinking, okay. It's a house really going to do us the movie about a house, right? I remember the movie house, which was great and house-to-house party. No house, Richard, Moll, Richard mole, mole, mole mole mole from right for you. So excited. I was saying that was a movie about a house that I thought was great. This movie did not look that great. Yeah. Was that similar? Not at all sent, but I think we should probably we have a
00:47:35We haven't reviewed anything in a week. Okay, maybe you should watch House house started supporting character. The main guy, I think is the American hero guy. Greatest American Hero, believe it or not. I don't know if it's there was a period in the 80s where every I think about every male actor in the 80s had curly blonde hair. Haha house, is it sad that guy from The Blue Lagoon? No, it's not. Okay. William Katz.
00:48:14I have that in my head. We was going way off the reservation. We have. You need to see this movie. It's a, it's a horror comedy. Okay, I think George went was in House 2 or the first one guy, buys a house to my house and it's jacked up, and it's like a pit with Tom Hanks. Okay, and it's got like really Fantastical stuff. Like he'll open a door has to fill open the door and all the sudden it's door that goes out to space or in one of them. If this is part of the plot of the movie opens up into the Vietnam jungle and he's in Vietnam and there's a zombie out there with a machine-gun. Okay. It's a it's an awesome movie Evil Dead but less look how cool Bruce Campbell is Brian Moore. Look how many cool things we can do with these weird ideas.
00:49:14Just about 90% of Disney, animated movies when I start watching the trailer. I think this is stupid and no one's ever going to watch this. And by the end of it, either in tears, or I'm excited to watch it immediately. I finally just started going to all of them because I remember seeing the trailer for bolt up with John Travolta as the dog. I thought that look like the stupidest movie ever and I didn't want to go and then we rented it. When the kids were little and I'm just like, oh my God, this movie is absolutely amazing bolt, loved it. I didn't want to see storks. We went to see storks and I laughed my butt off at storks. Only green. I didn't want to see Angry Birds 2 and I are going to go to the emergency room. And then I realized that we were the only ones laughing that loud who you were just made us laugh even harder.
00:50:08Stayed when they even their dresses at Eagle and they're going in there to pee. Yes, that was funny. That was very funny. But yeah, so whenever there's a Disney or Pixar movie, it's cuz they showed a preview for one about some chick, who turns into a panda, a red panda. And I'm thinking this doesn't look bad at all. But I'm going to go and the lady and you'll watch it and then like George Clooney, will pop in the middle of it and then you'll like your cry. You'll want to see it again and again, and again,
00:50:38We interrupt this program for a special announcement. Congratulations to Leslie. Kali whole irritable, dad syndromes listener of the week. This has been a special announcement.
00:50:56We're out of milk and I didn't feel like driving all the way down to Kroger. So I went to the UDF. It's a gas station, right down the street. It's like 2 minutes from my house. Yeah, and I pull up on the car and I'm walking into PDF and there's a homeless guy out there and we never see how most people know she wants you to take the ring to Mordor with him.
00:51:23And the answer I told him no, but the answer was. Yes. I am actually know which way is east prising Lee, but I know you were going to go eat. I didn't want to see you, I'm going east but just so you can actually see how far east of guilt. I should have got him in the car. That would have been awesome if he hears you and he would have shown up at your house and ask for asking though where the front door is so he can leave.
00:51:56I just thought it was this guy knows Which Way East was. No, I'm going North by Northwest. I had somebody asked me this week actually. Today. In fact, where's the where's the West end of this building? I don't know. Where's the front where I came in? There's a back were facing west. What's West? What are you using you'd ever get him by the Stars, through this building, my dad, God love him. Rest. His soul came to visit us one time at our old house. And I swear to God, I spent a good ten minutes.
00:52:32Trying to tell him, which way he would not stop asking me, which way was North. What does it matter? I mean, it doesn't matter which way is North what is on his way in. And he would not get it out of his head that he needed to know which direction North was. And so I'm like, well, do you go up the interstate, which were going north and we took a left to get to our house. So that would be West. And then you take a North to get to her neighborhood. Hang a, right. So now, we're going east again. So the front door, if you're sitting on the front door, you look at our neighbor's house. Terry G house. That's North
00:53:14Are you sure? Yeah, I just went through every single left right turn. And what does it matter? You know what, this just occurred to me.
00:53:25I'm glad this didn't happen. But yeah, I would have loved it so much. If good Lord of the Rings. They had to go East into Mordor. Was it used in the warmest in the morning? I would have loved it so much if they got to the middle of the third movie and sampling. Are we that you were going the wrong way? To also know what would have been funny is if they did like in Planes Trains and Automobiles and they overshot it by a hundred miles. They likes to get pulled over by Michael McKean. Just keep going. He's going to bed.
00:54:08We get to Florida and relax. My rabbit. Almost died. Did talk. Some know. He didn't see how stupid that sounds when someone, when you hear it. No, I thought it was funny. When I heard, we have our rabbit in a big cage. Okay. Inside our dining room so he can have room to grow to roam around on the wall or a couple of hanging shelves. And Libby has some pottery, some things on, hold on, the other side of that wall is our laundry room. Okay, and there's a door that goes to our garage. This door is very heavy, and my kids are notorious for letting the door slam. And every time the door slams, the things that are on the Shelf move a little forward to the edge of the shelf that they're on. So I came in
00:55:08And I close the door and then you hurt and then you hear? What the hell, and this piece of pottery fell. Right? Exactly where my rabbit figgy usually sits and he has ran and is behind part of it like yeah, exactly. So so yeah, we almost lost our rabbit home man. I know but he's okay. He's still going to create fertilizer fertilizer. So but he's fine. Thank you for all your concerns and questions horrible demise for Evan.
00:55:52I know you hate the Beatles. I don't hate the beetle cat. Why? I know you don't care about the B. I don't care about the bi. I want to learn about the because what if you want to learn about the Beatles unit watch get back the documentary. That's on Disney plus. Okay, it's the they were going to do a TV special. You said yoko's in it though. She is I know and that's one of the parts about it. There's a couple parts which is like
00:56:15And I just I can't deal with that. I'm too old for that. I can't handle you really, really good for the majority of the thing. She is sitting 2 inches away from John Lennon and she just sits there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, which I think is just weird and me as an extrovert. It's like, how come you're not saying anything? What's, what did I did? I just hear you mad at me. So what I want to do is I want to do a documentary on irritable dad syndrome and I would like for my wife or your wife, perhaps both of them to just sit there to the entire documentary, just stare at the wall. I don't know why it leads to the phonebook. I don't know, but I think that would be great if they made an appearance in the documentary of our show. Can I, can I say something about a dilute lie about that?
00:57:11So, I watched a, I used to travel a lot and I would be on Long, like flights and so I can watch movies. And I decided I just started watching movies that I would never actually go to see in some of the best movies. I saw came that way, but one of the ones that I saw was a, it was a movie and I think it was Jake Gyllenhaal Gyllenhaal Gyllenhaal, Brokeback Mountain know, I can't remember specifically. If he was the guy. Think he was the guy. He was about the guy that shot John Lennon. Oh, oh, okay, and it was very dark dark documentary movie, but it was like focused on him. And then every once while you'd show each other, John Lennon, like it went down, like the days leading up to it. What each of them were doing. I remember in the movie. I'm a a couple things. One is this guy was crazy, right? He was out of his my nuts. But the other one was John Lennon, I didn't know anything about John Lennon.
00:58:11Mark Chapman, Mark, Chapman, Mark, David Chapman, kill John Lennon seemed in the movie. He just seemed really like a cool dude. Yeah. Yeah. He was. Okay. I'm going to go out on a limb here. It's going to piss off some people, but John was my fourth. Favorite Beatle. Okay, for the longest time, Paul was my favorite. I thought his music reach that most masses. I thought he was just the most likeable. Okay, overtime. George really grew on me. Will there exactly in the 90s rised up? Rose rose up bread.
00:58:59George Harrison became my favorite. I've always loved Wingo Ringoes fun during this documentary, John Lennon really grew on me really, really grew on me. And I'm kind of tied for first. You know, I love this baby. Maybe I'm telling a Lil Bit Too Much and people are going to surmise that. I'm an idiot, but can't imagine for some reason. I always got the Beatles In The Monkees confused, It's not that. I got them confused. It's that I was thinking. The monkeys were made to make fun of The Beatles kind of sort of kind of weird. Monkeys were created for a TV show. I looked at the Beatles as more of a
00:59:42Like a circus act which I know is not right? It's not so I wish. If I'd grown up in that. I probably would have been a huge Beatles fan, but I just, I don't know, I didn't care that much. I always thought the Rolling Stones were more interesting. You're not wrong. I know but you you made the wrong man. You made the comment. You hate these guys. I don't hate them. Okay, I like them. I just never listen to them. I think you can admire an artist and never ever listen to any of their music but still like, I get it. I don't I Want to Hold Your Hand sucks. But oh, no. It doesn't. It doesn't it does not. Listen, if it weren't for the Beatles through would have never made where the streets have no name the video on top of the building. That was they did that based on get back know they did they did the rooftop concert.
01:00:42We did get back. Just came out. This happened back in the 80s back. Okay, that's that's like saying James Hetfield picked up a Guitar because he saw John Lennon. Pick up a for the streets. Have no name was inspired by the rooftop concert. I'll get back. And that's all I'm going to say about that. The Forrest Gump fighting words. Okay, we're running out of time. But I asked on Facebook. If people had any questions that they want us to discuss the end. I was going to have to let that. Why you think I'm going to let that go. I'm going to let it go. I'm done. I'm done talking about it. So, Steve Farrell, ask a question. He asked about fried bologna sandwiches, when you make a fried bologna sandwich, do you make one cut in it? And then when it fries it if it's the changes and it looks like a Pac-Man or do you make two cuts in it? That makes it look like a throwing star. I think you don't cut it at all. You got kind of cuz it bubbles up. That's the fun part.
01:01:41That's where you put the mayonnaise in the bowl and the bologna. You put the mayonnaise in the bloody little bunny Bowl. It's also where the grease goes. That's what she says.
01:01:53So you don't cut it. You put the mayonnaise in the bologna Bowl.
01:02:01That's nature talkin, man.
01:02:05That's why that happens is for the V days.
01:02:09Is someone frying bologna?
01:02:14One of the questions for the hot sauce. Christy Cooper T. Gatsby wrinkled ass syndrome artificial or real the real well. What I mean she and she just left the category wide-open. Yeah, if you're talkin about Christmas trees artificial, what about breasts artificial? Or real? Who cares?
01:02:39What about bologna artificial Reef?
01:02:43I'd say yes.
01:02:46It's all the same as it. Don't they just like what about intelligence artificial intelligence or real until well, that's a whole topic for a different episode. But I want to get back to Bologna bologna. They just grabbed a bunch of animals and grind them up and make a Patty and said, here you go zactly. Yeah. It's like chickens ferrets and weasels doll Lipson.
01:03:09Kristi Thinks, can I make it a quick aside? My dad back when I was growing up. He brought these fake labels in to put around Campbell's Soup. They were the size of Campbell Soup. Can't remember those. I remember Campbell Soup. Can. I saw what he had a label that you would put around SpaghettiOs? Okay. It was me. It was all everything in the Greece. Are they? And made it look just like a SpaghettiOs label. It was fish.
01:03:38And we do it. It's a Campbell's. Everything was to say, I think it was Chef Boyardee. That's the that's the spaghetti ingredients in the same font everything in the house and fish marinara sauce and everything was the same except they had fish weight. So your dad created this label to put on a can of SpaghettiOs so that when he's walking around at the park, people think he was eating kids, you get on the phones and you get on your internet's now and you have a meme, you're on the back. In the day, people work for a living and I had to take a picture we had to make copies and yeah, and they would do, you know, Dad's would pass it around at the Xerox machine and laughed themselves, silly. So he made a couple of copies of this thing, brought them home and we made a can of fish.
01:04:26I think it may still be in the cupboard. Next time I go in, I'm going to look for it at your parents. I have my mom's house. Okay, might be in there. I'm going to go look for it cuz it's higher than she can reach.
01:04:38And I know I never would have thrown it away. He made a label of fish, took it to work and it. What's your dad's name? It is someone had labels of fish. He made a copy of it. Why wouldn't that? Also somebody else did it and then he made a copy and brought it home cuz he thought it was hilarious because it's hilarious. No, my dad never did anything like that. I bet you for I find labels of fish is on the internet right now.
01:05:09I'm going to look up. I'm going to end up on some weird. Ft. I'll is get yourself a fish. And that's where you put the mayonnaise weight. Funny. Funny. Prank, Christmas stocking. Stuffer gag. Yeah, here it is. Look right there. I'll just
01:05:25He's right. It's the whole, the whole thing. That's a lot more.
01:05:36That's a lot more like artistic than. I mean, that's that's it. That I was dealing with a Xerox copy. They're saying a whole handful of a second. You've got to put this thing cuz I'm putting it on our way out. Alright, this is been a lot of fun. We want to remind you to go to irritable, Dad center.com., You can go to patreon. Yeah, and you could become a patron and financially support this podcast. If you loved it, then then show it and you tell show us how much shows how much you care for keeping freeloading jerk in the holiday. Say, when I spend money on Christmas lights, you can go back and listen to previous episodes, episode 65 underperformed. It really was. You guys were spending all this time with your family and instead of listening us. So go back, listen to episode 65. I think I don't like it.
01:06:36I loved we had fun. I daren't put a lot of work into it because that was the one, the levels were all over the place. You had to do a lot of work to make that. Why did happen to show me how much you care 65 Gap and we hope to see you next week on your little Dancin.
01:06:55Hi, I'm Dave way since they adjusted my medication. I can't seem to find the door out of the booth, but that's okay. Cuz I like it in here. We'll see you next week.
01:07:07I've accidentally touch myself and had to immediately like go to the bathroom and wash your face. Yeah, I have founded.
01:07:15I accidentally touched myself and had to go wash off. Bye. Bye.
Transcribed by algorithms.