The Podcast for People with No Friends!
Dec. 14, 2021

IDS #68 - Faster Than a Scalded Dog

IDS #68 - Faster Than a Scalded Dog

Netflix at the hospital and Rust Valley Restorers.  Mike and Darin feud over Simon and Garfunkel.  Mike's dog desecrated the Nativity Scene, and Darin tells a story of his dog attacking his mother-in-law's teeth!  

What's the deal with Assisted Living Facility libraries and their total lack of decent books?  Finally - Darin hates the sound of you chewing.  So stop it.

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/irritabledadsyndrome)

Transcript
00:00:00Oh, there it is. Recording episode 60. That's it. That's what we look like. When we go live, right? Attack on music music. Welcome to irritable dead. Syndrome. Santa Claus's favorite podcast, your your host. Mike and Darren navigate episode 68.
00:00:39Yes, I am Mike and this is your dad's and I'm getting really tired of what happened. What happened? You're welcome. And I have a long history of being unable please cuz we got a lot of really good stuff. And I don't know, and I have a long history of ignoring people when they tell me I should do something else.
00:01:12This is a good Chef. If you're a new listener, God bless you. Come to the show. It's not all like this, but it's not all unlike this. I did want to say a wheat tonight. We're recording 3 episodes because we're coming into December and the holidays and Mike. I know you have vacation coming up and I have vacation coming up. So we're going to do tonight now. So enjoy this one because the next two are going to be absolute garbage. I agreed to two episodes, but that's besides the point right side. I went what happened.
00:01:51Welcome back over the past couple weeks. I've introduced almost every single episode with an apology or a correction. And I want to apologize this week because there has been a major oversight to one of our patrons. A couple of months ago when I said Hey, whenever we get a patient, we're going to start doing this new feature and we're going to do have Dave Lay record a voicemail message. I left that to you in a minute. So what you're saying is you failed. Well, I blame this on Karen and accounting because we did a voicemail message for Jason Durbin. We had a voicemail message for Chris, Michael, for Chris Hughes and Ken and Lisa Coleman Ferguson. Yeah, we have totally forgot to do a voicemail message for Craig botas. What the hell? This is the very first person who ever said, you know what I like this show so much. I'm going to financially contribute and help them succeed and move forward with it. I think he's our backup. Oh, she's one of us gets a little Bitchie.
00:02:51Anyway, I reached out to Dave way and he was very busy. But I said, if you could, if you got it in yet. Can you record a voice mail message from Greg? Bonus are very first Patron. He was nice enough to do it. So go ahead, get on the telephone.
00:03:12You reached the voicemail of Greg bonus. He can't come to the phone right now. He's either playing drums teaching drums or buying new drums, leave a message. And if it involves drum will probably call you back.
00:03:28Welcome back. So and a great boat is thank you again for being our first patient. Thank you for financially contributing to the success of the show. And I wanted to say, if you would like to become a patron. You can't go to irritable Down, syndrome.com. Go to patreon. Okay, there's four different plans. They're fantastic. And let's say, let's say, You know what? Last week we had someone in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Do you download all we had someone in Gloucester, Massachusetts? I don't mind the plane, Illinois. Now, guess plan is Glenwood Springs Colorado. If your punk ass City, Oklahoma Spring, Arbor, Michigan, if you're one of these people become a patron of our show and we will have Dave, Lay record a voicemail message for you. It'll be fun. If you will be popular amongst your friends. They won't think you're a loser anymore. So we've been given a lot of different types of advice for this show. So one of the piece of advice we've been given is to be funny in the first two minutes. Check. We said what happened, right off the bat.
00:04:28I got the other one is it? We should tell people what we're going to talk about? Okay, and what we're going to talk about in this episode is whatever comes to mind at that moment. Is this one of those weeks? We have here is a fun thing for her for you at home. Now. I know a lot of you are listening in your car, or when you're supposed to be watching your kid, or on the toilet or something, walking around in the gym, whatever the hell you weirdos out over you list of the show, but the true fans watch this on Twitch as we recorded it live and I will see that Mike is currently double-fisting.
00:05:05A Monster energy drink and a laborator cab camshaft. Setting at all, I'm just north of Busch beer in terms of being a concierge. You remember the waiter because of Kermit the Frog looking for Kermit, the frogs. Are you come at the Frog? He's only frog there if he says yes. And so a way he goes over and he's asked him if he wants to smell the court. I do drink wine. I can't stand wine. Okay wine, gives me awful horrible.
00:06:05Some last week. I mentioned that my wife was having shoulder surgery. The surgery went. Well, thank you so much for all your calls and emails and and texts and your well wishes. She's doing great. I mean she's in pain which is expected after recovering from the surgery. She had a bone spur on her rotator cuff and it was tearing the tendon in there. So, I'll course it's going to that sucks. So we got that all taken care of, and I'm in the waiting room, while she's having her surgery. Now, usually, when you weren't in there, helping out, no, no, they did not want me in there. So, I'm in the waiting room and they have a TV and usually it's on. I don't know. What are the news channels are the home shopping or this particular place has Netflix.
00:07:00Oh, really? You have Netflix and I can't, we have Netflix here. So you can put Tiger King on for everyone in the room. Would you like to watch something on Netflix? And then I was just totally with the eight thousand things they have on Netflix. What do I watch in a room with other people would? Like, people who were like, really, really old. And there was like a, I don't know, someone who looked like he was near death, but
00:07:36Others, like strolling through or they're scrolling through. For me. I wasn't allowed to
00:07:42And the original Jumanji come to the seventh when they come and Darren, what do you want to come in? Okay, so I went in and I'm talking to libyans are going through getting ready to put her into surgery and everything like that and then they, they will her back. Yeah, and I go back out and they didn't pause the movie for me, but I'm watching the rest of it. Okay, whatever. It's Jumanji right? Well.
00:08:15After Libby had finished her surgery. The surgery was quick like half hour 40 minutes. So after they're done the doctor comes in to talk to me and tells me everything went well on. This is what they did in this what they found. So I'm back. Do you want me to send it? Okay, someone else has put on, what's the name of the show? Squidgame? No, no, no. No. No, no. Someone else's put on a show called rust valley restorers reality show about these two guys. And what they do is they find really, really, really old cars. Then they restore them. Okay. One guy is this old, dude, and he's got dreadlocks white dreadlocks. He looks like one of those guys in the Pirates of the Caribbean. The other guy looks like Danny DeVito and Ron Jeremy were morphed into one person.
00:09:15Guys trying to teach his there's a young lady in there. I don't know if it was his daughter. If it was his niece. I don't know. The volume was kind of down. He's teaching her to drive this truck and they keep saying, okay, and I hate reality television, but I the more I'm watching this more fascinated by until they get you. I know that gets worse. The show is the more you enjoy watching it. So I'm watching the nest and another guy comes in. He's waiting on his I don't know his wife or somebody to have a procedure done there. Okay, he won't sit down. Okay, he's just walking around as one of those. Al Walker walking hands in his pockets. No watching looking at TV and she's probably in there. Having her leg removed for something that's going to take forever. She was having her something. OK, Google. I was sitting right there. And I know I heard what was going on. So he kind of chats up starts a conversation with me and he said something about the
00:10:15The the charger that they have their you ever see a car like that. No, I haven't. I don't know anything about cars. I can tell you everything about that car. The the block that it's on and horsepower and all that crap. So we're sitting there talking and I say that one guy, there looks kind of like Ron Jeremy and Danny DeVito morph together.
00:10:37Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm okay. Now you're sitting there wondering, which one he doesn't know. Does he not know Danny DeVito? Does he not know Ron Jeremy or does he know that I'm in? He's wondering why I'm talking about Ron Jeremy to a stranger in a guy in the lobby and he's just waiting and I know he's really annoyed with us cuz we start talking to each other and watching the show with like 10 minutes later. The guy who's standing up walking and looks at me cuz, you know, he does look like to take seem to realize that. That was funny that he thought it was funny. And with this guy. I'm going to try doing a quote of the week. Okay? For on this thing. I'm at Shell and he is a roadrunner. He used to have it all the Road Runner car. I don't know anything about the car, but he says that car was fast that car was faster than a scalded dog.
00:11:37Bastard is going to bed and I've never heard faster than any way. I'm talking to the dude, about the scalded, dog. And Ron Jeremy and everything else. They come out and say Darren Libby's out. You can come see her now. So I go and see her and Libby had been she got really bad chills and shakes after coming off of the anesthesia and she had a sheets over her head. So she looked number one, Princess Leia was standing there with our tea in the Virgin Mary when she's on anesthesia, okay.
00:12:28Hi, she's all good. Her arm hurts. She can't hardly move it. It's in a sling. She's taking her medicine and she's getting around and she's feeling better a little bit more. Hey there, it's Dave and it's never too early to get started on your holiday shopping and there's no better gift than Whoppers. All beef hot dogs. That's right. Give that special someone in your life, the gift of all beef footlong hot dogs. So, what are you waiting for? For you order a package or to wherever quality? Meat products are sold? What your local. Grocery doesn't sell Whoppers. No problem, Whoppers deliver just go online and place your order today. Merry Christmas from all of us at irritable dead syndrome and the fine folks and Whoppers Aldi footlong hot dogs.
00:13:27So, okay. So what I wanted to talk about was the you'd mentioned the TiVo. So the last time I went to the dentist to see if you mention the next place. So in the last time I went to the dentist, they had they said you, you were listening to music music. Do you like my answer to that is typically anything--but country. I want a Highway to Hell? Anybody that I don't know at all. I just say anything. It doesn't matter to me when really it, it kind of death like so they they put on like like Kenny G came through this thing.
00:14:12Now I'm about to have like pain inflicted upon my teeth, but you don't need pain inflicted in your ear. So I kind of wish I could go back to that moment. If I if I'd known it was possible and I'm about to have like drills and hardcore stuff going on my teeth. I would have asked for Gojira Slayer, you know, anything along those lines that are up in there. Any Cowboys from Hell, I really dig this. Can you start with the Ramones when your on the top teeth? And when you go to the bottom teeth, I'd like some Rob Zombie, and he back to the molars. Let's throw in some tool. And when you get up to the incisors, let's get some Nine Inch Nails cuz that's how I feel when you're done was put on some you to more Paul Simon for REM. Wait, wait, hit you cheer going? You're going to start with Pantera and then you're going to be at the end when we're gradually work. Now, if you find Garfunkel.
00:15:12What the hell did you just say? You know what, one more time? I'm going to walk out of here, and I'm not a fan of Garfunkel, Garfunkel.
00:15:22And neither are you how many Simon & Garfunkel albums? Do you own all of them?
00:15:28How many Paul Simon album to Young? None of them? Okay, this is where this is where the Line in the Sand gets through says Garfunkel. Tell me you don't. Like I do you don't like to do, which one is Garfunkel? The tall. One of the short, one with the curly hair of, you know you listen to Paul Simon is a ridiculously talented musician and songwriter and vocalist and he's funny to Garfunkel. He's got a hell of a voice-only voice better than him was Roy Orbison. Okay. Okay, chill out, tell me what to do. Chill out Garfunkel, has an amazing voice.
00:16:28Okay, he couldn't write a song to save his life, Paul Simon carried, Simon & Garfunkel, Garfunkel to me. And to make a great three-shot Art. Garfunkel is the type of guy that sits and eats a cereal in the morning and laughs himself. Silly at Family, Circus comics in Burnsville.
00:16:52What's wrong with the family? Circus? Call, Simon. Paul Simon was either an insurance salesman or an accountant or something and Art Garfunkel, was the only guy in the office that would talk to him. And he just said, hey, would you like to maybe sing together? Because art was the only one that had a microphone, is only one who could afford one already had a started recording together. And then once they got some money, Paul Simon said, okay, you know what? I don't have to tour with big bird or whatever the hell would your, your, your deal? I don't need you anymore. I haven't called Garfunkel. I'm not done. I'm not dead. I'm done with you. I'm going to fly to Africa and get a whole new band the rhythm of the Saints. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no Graceland Graceland, and then I'm going to dump them and fly to South America, and get the rhythm of the Saints crew. And I'm going to sing it every once in awhile. I'm going to sing Bridge Over Troubled Waters, and all the old fogies and farts are going to like razor lighter.
00:17:52Nothing to wish for Art Garfunkel, who is in his living room, sitting at a little card. Table, fold out card, table eating cereal laughing at Garfield comics. So what you doing right now is he that is, no, okay, or Garfunkel is counting, his money is what he's doing.
00:18:12He is, but so here is some facts about Art Garfunkel. You don't know, I don't come at me with Art, Garfunkel facts. You have any Art Garfunkel facts. First of all, I don't trust anybody. That doesn't use her full name with her name, is Arthur. It's Arthur Arthur Garfunkel. I do like, I Do by Michael by Art. I don't name another name. Another art Art. Linkletter. I was get him mixed up with the. Who's the guy that did they shoot the? I don't even know. I know kind of you asked me to and you don't know anybody else to do it again. Do it. Again. Art Garfunkel, Art. Linkletter Art. Linkletter Arthur Dudley Moore. Hello. That's not. That wasn't is a character. So is Art Garfunkel?
00:19:08What happened to Pizza? Someone should come and wash your back? Can I tell you what happened? Because we end up going down dead ends. Where nobody knows what the hell happened. Right? And you have to say it. You have to go before that. It was a deadly commercial, but he's getting tired of making commercials to bail us out of our own selves every time I apologize for sending audio yet.
00:19:38But in all seriousness, I have every Simon Garfunkel. I am being serious. Do you honestly prefer? Art Garfunkel to Paul Simon? Like I understand doing this for, dear. Whatever I prefer Simon & Garfunkel music. Ok, Paul Simon's, Graceland album. I'm not going to, I'm not going to poopoo on Graceland. But Graceland wasn't better than Bridge Over Troubled Water Bridge Over Troubled. Water is one of the top five greatest songs ever written, or recorded Garfunkel. Another Simon & Garfunkel is a Simon & Garfunkel, The Boxer Paul Simon. I just don't believe it. I don't believe you. I think that if we sat down and we listen to all the Paul Simon stuff and all Simon and Garfunkel stuff, you be like wow.
00:20:36I had no idea. I'm not I'm not saying I don't like Paul Simon music, I'm saying I prefer it. Okay. So if I went into the jungle and I found somebody that had never seen civilization or anything like that, right? You know I'm saying? But has no idea about anything. You asked me to name. You have to look it up because I have brain freeze. Okay, because I have a horrible memory. My point is if you take somebody out of the Jungle that's never seen anything, any pop culture or anything like that and you give them I don't know what corn chip you going to blow their mind and they're going to think it's the greatest snack food. Ever known to man. And they've never had a Dorito and they've never had a Ruffles chip. Okay, if never had your comparing Simon and Garfunkel. The Snack chips. I'm comparing the actual hell, I'm comparing Garfunkel to a corn chip. Paul. Simon is a Dorito.
00:21:34Listen, Paul, Simon wrote and recorded, mini mini great songs as a solo artist and boxer. One of my favorites. Mrs. Robinson the theme song of America. Oh my God, if you've never heard the song America, if there's something seriously wrong with you. I'm rock. April. Come, she will feeling groovy a Hazy. Shade of Winter Cecilia Cecilia. Yeah. Yeah. So do you like I'm pretty sure that Paul Simon wrote all those in Art Garfunkel was there because he owned the microphone all the song. Okay, but I prefer Simon & Garfunkel music to Paul Simon, even though Kodachrome is a great seeing Me and Julio Down by the sea.
00:22:34Yeah, okay, be there. Those songs are better than Bridge Over. Troubled. Water is the one of the top five greatest songs ever, written recorded, and Paul Simon. Can't sing it as good as Art Garfunkel. Can't he? Can't hit the high notes.
00:22:53Play, we went off on a tangent There For You, especially now it's time for Dave's Comedy Corner. So, what's the deal with cotton candy, you know, I only eat cotton candy if it's made from 100% cotton, so don't give me any of that poly-cotton blend. Crap.
00:23:19This is been Dave's Comedy Corner.
00:23:26How's Dakota?
00:23:31So, I sent you an update so hot for the people listening, like not like we say that that all the, for the people listening. Otherwise, we're just two guys crack in the basement. Exactly. When we record the show. We have a run. Now, we have an idea list in Google Documents that we we both edit great cuz I'll be out and something will happen. I'll just type it in the thing that's there. And one of them that I typed in was that Dakota ate the baby Jesus?
00:24:04Which at the time I wrote that I thought that is it was exactly what it happened when I found out was she did not in fact, eat the baby Jesus. Okay. How is she at the top of the manger of our nativity scene? And I told this and it's not like I'm telling bass and she's known since learning this because I'm telling her. She knew that anything on the floor, this animals going to eat. If you look around you right now, there's stuff on the floor. We don't let Dakota down here because everyone in this family knows you don't eat the guitar and everyone in his family knows that if Dakota's knows even touches that guitar,
00:24:43She's gone if she touches anything in the bookshelves, anything over here. Yeah. Oh, I could just see you within two feet of the Xbox or the PlayStation. Oh my Lord. Oh my God. I don't want my woman her mouth. I don't want my kids to have to see what I would do that. But you do she put one of your Pearl Jam albums in your mouth and her mouth.
00:25:05That uncomfortable pause in the podcast is me contemplating that and considering going up and smacking her just for imagining her doing that. I was excited that you said that cuz it reminded me of a great story of our old. Conrad, beagle and Conrad up until like the couple days. Before we head to sadly, put him down, getting the trash. He would steal food from the kids and he would get into things. Okay, so put him down because he got into things around all week. He, he had a lot of problems. And for health reasons, we had to put him down saddling, my mother-in-law Gaga. She came to visit us one time. Okay, and she had taken her bag and put it up in her room where she was sleeping. Well, she had something in there with my mother-in-law didn't like wearing her false teeth. Okay, see, her false teeth and her bag
00:26:01we're downstairs in the living room, talking and Conrad comes down and he's got a
00:26:12But I'm looking and is one of those, we had to get my mother-in-law's teeth and a Conrad's mouth.
00:26:30Yeah, I think that's a fun story. That's a family. You think she would have hated the dog, but she didn't. She had a big laugh about it. She hated one of your teeth. So it's not like, she's like, well, I don't like wearing the teeth. Anyway, she was called the dog Conway for supper. We kept correcting her.
00:26:51It is, but speaking of Jesus, okay?
00:26:56When Jacob, my oldest son, when he was little, okay, he was Hell on Wheels because he earned our money with that kid.
00:27:04And Libby will work during the day and I work nights and Sunday were essentially, single parents. So, Jacob is little, he's like two or in some change or whatever and it's around this time of year and Libby took Jacob to like a nativity scene to an outdoor things. You told me and Jacob will go. And we'll have some fun and Jacob, and I will go and we'll have some fun. I want to be grammatically. Correct there. Any way he was acting up and he was, he wouldn't stand still, he would run away from her and she would get him and he would run away and he ran into the two Jeeps movie called me up, and she's crying. And she's like, I'm trying to have a good time and take him and he won't stop running late, and I had to spank him in the Tomb of Jesus.
00:27:52I'm at work laughing my ass off.
00:28:04There's a comedian George Miller. He passed away a long time ago, and he used to be on Letterman all the time. And one of my favorite jokes by George Miller, and George had a girlfriend. I guess they live together and they got into a huge fight and George had went over and done some things. He shouldn't have done. Okay, in her apartment, so the police, and they visited really did some things that your girlfriend is really upset about it. She wrote some obscenities on a picture. She had of Jesus Christ, and George said Jesus. I thought that was Dan Fogelberg.
00:28:48At my first TV station will used to have rev Willard Wilcox couple times a month and he would record two-hour-long Church sermon that we ran on Sunday and we'd set up a camera on a still shot and he would stand there and pray for 55 minutes. And then you would go when you drop him down and he would end it, and it was great. Every time you would come in, if I had a good joke, a good god joke, I would tell him. So the one that he thought was his, his favorite one that I told was the guy
00:29:29Some guy named Keith Urban Mark Mark, Mark was a really good guy. Mark lived a very pure life. He was kind to people he donated to charity. He worked hard and he was he took care of his parents and you took real good care of his kids every night before he went to bed. He thank God. He says God. Thank you for all my many blessings, please. If you could, I would love to win the lottery and the next night he would go to bed and he would thank God for his prayers, please. Let me win the lottery. The next night, the next night, the night. He did this for like 20 years. Finally. God comes down to earth. Okay. Listen.
00:30:13You're a great guy. I appreciate all the things that you do for your family. I appreciate all the things that you don't know for your co-workers and your friends about this Lottery thing. I need you to meet me halfway and buy a ticket and that's this week's podcast. It's probably brought you by this liquid. Concentrated wallpaper stripper trim fingernail clippers and International Delight. Almond Joy, flavored coffee creamer. Get out your credit card and help these fine companies give Christmas bonuses to their employees. Now, back to you, bucking Dusty.
00:30:58We moved bess's. Mom here, right out here, where we currently are, but in our vicinity, 10 minutes away and what would have been referred to in the eighties and before as a nursing home is now considered an assisted living facility and I've learned that the difference between an assisted living facility and a nursing home is that an assisted living facility has things in it to make, you forget that you're in an Arsenal. UK, a nursing home is a nursing home is a straight-up. You're in a hospital bed in a room. Yes, with people coming in every once awhile to check your pills, but I'm under your nose, take your feces away, and whatever assisted living is kind of halfway between where we are now marked, what you like sand pudding, so and it's a really nice place and you thought you help me help you move. Thank you. So
00:31:58It has a movie theater that has a hair salon. By the way in the movie theater are all these pictures from old movies and they're in black and white, right. And I was looking at is like all that's cute to have Clint Eastwood and John Wayne in what Star Wars movie theater. It's cuz I was asking them if they show up, they only show old movies and she said they can show any movie they want really which wait till I get there.
00:32:32So quickly take her on that. We can you load up Cannonball? Run 2. We go to visit that's his mom. And we're like this will listen. Will you around this thing and show you what is here? Okay, and we started Wheeling around and we found that there's like a little Library there. Yeah, and but there's multiple areas where there's bookshelves with all kinds of books. Yeah, and I started looking at like, what kind of books can I expect to see surrounding me when I'm in my golden years? OK, prominently, displayed prominently? The sole where was a dictionary? Like, who cares? What words, you know when you're 80, I don't I'm going to make up new words when I'm eighty. Hahaha. Robert Ludlum. There was a lot of Bourne Identity, Bourne Supremacy, born orgy. All these Bourne books. That was so much better than the book was better than whispering by his son ran out of ideas.
00:33:30I'm looking at him like why? And you just seems odd to me that Lord of the Rings, wasn't there. I don't know why. I just I saw all the other Classics and they are there's no Lord of the Rings and I'm like, okay. Alright. Well, dude, you know, what you doing here? You know why? Lord of the Rings? Isn't there right? Why? No, I don't know what there is going to start the book and then finish reading it before Mike years to read the Lord of the Rings, but j.r.r. Tolkien. Yeah Pages, describing it.
00:34:11These people, they're God's love them, and I hope, I hope they, I hope they live for ever give you that but they could have had The Hobbit. They could add The Hobbit there. That was a relatively short, where the hell is something going to happen. We saw the main library. It's not. There we go around. There's another little library at all. It's going to be in here. Know, there's a few questionable books there at like why I don't want to say on the podcast, but they were very political books. We don't go political, but I'm like, okay, we're going to have that. That, that, that and you're not going to have Lord of the Rings. Really, really that that that not too. I'm in Lord of the Rings. The opposite of that, that cleanser you need something other than pure panic. Oh, yeah. Books about old war planes. Haha. I mean, what did you go to Grandpa's? R Us?
00:35:11Did you like read a book on what you should put around old people? Not every old man wants to sit and read about. Warplanes know I would. But I'm just saying in general, not everybody's excited about that, David Sedaris books. What about the Late Show book of top 10. Oh, no, nothing, cool like that. They had they had a book on.
00:35:40Pikachu.
00:35:42Here's the thing, Okay, you're going to be going to multiple multiple dictionaries.
00:35:51What is a dictionary that was like a 20,000 page dictionary? It had its own holder. The thing was massive. It was bigger than that dehumidifier behind you and then they had other smaller dictionaries and I thought well that's going to cause fights because Grandpa want to make really reason you have a dick.
00:36:16Anytime you have it.
00:36:18Dictionary in a place. Like that is for Scrabble is because somebody's going to say that's not a word. That's do you do it to check to see if a words of word? Yeah. I know. But you can have to use the official Scrabble dictionary, because there are some words in the actual dictionary that still don't have plastic wrap like spunk. Yeah, exactly. Just like spunk. Well, my point is just said, Who the hell's going to want? One Thin dictionaries when you got the time.
00:36:52Hey kids. Are you looking for a pet ferret? That won't bust your budget then, come on down to Farrell's ferrets and see our wide selection of new and used ferrets. We have ferrets, in all colors, size isn't Sexes. They're fun for the whole family. White Now by for ferrets and get the 5th one. Free order online and will ship them anywhere in the US. Don't be a good home today. Farrow's parents asked us by name or going to fail spirits.com.
00:37:20I'm pretty sure I have a thing called misophonia now. That's where I am. I s? O p h o. N. I a so that's when your phone is missing a sink first starting at the assisted living facility. Not the nursing home misophonia. And I think that's how you pronounce it is. When you have a reaction to certain sounds like, like gum popping like tapping sniffing or seller, pink Warhead. I like a lot of people have reactions when people
00:38:07I can't stay. I hate all my Lord. I know he's eating a bagel.
00:38:20So, I'm thinking that.
00:38:23But we gone tonight.
00:38:27Did your mom ever tell you to chew with your mouth? Shut? I just want to smack him. You know what my problem is, which when I'm when I'm faced with a situation like that on a normal human being a normal human being who is used to conflict and used to dealing with other human beings would within the first 20 or 30 seconds. Say, excuse me. Could you could you shut your mouth? You stop doing. That was on, I will progressively. I will internalize all that. I get more more pissed internally. I turn them out. I can't even hear what they're saying anymore, any point and then somewhere 2 or 3 minutes and I just
00:39:11Okay. Stop, stop. It. And I I found yeah. That reaction raises a lot of eyebrows officially overdoing it a little bit or other places where that type of outbursts would cause concern. I found that the the easiest thing for me is to remove myself from that situation. I go take a walk, I go outside. I say, excuse me. I need to go out today and Bess and I actually have a thing worked out where I just gave her a night. I kind of got to go. I got to remove myself from this room Hopper 30s 40s. I think I'll be back sometime sometimes. Sometimes she doesn't lose it and died and then I come back, I go out there, I go to my safe place. I recite some U2 lyrics or Gucci or depending on what kind of mood I'm in. And then I can
00:40:11Mac, and I'm a guy and if you would like that, I work with 81, maybe you put that down. Maybe you could that tie down. Okay, let's do that before you die. Before I put this pencil through your throat. Now, I work with someone who will fill a glass with ice and then water and then and then
00:40:33swish it around. So should around switch it around. So should I drink? It sounds ever translate over and walk with me down this road like so that annoys you that that guy does that? Yes, have you ever found yourself? You've been annoyed by that if your friend has not been watching a James Bond movie where he cuz he likes to shake and he does that and you start to get pissed off because it reminds you of that guy doing that.
00:41:03I never thought about that. I'll give you an example. I to get annoyed with people chewing and the sound of them chewing. If you ever paid attention to movies that Brad Pitt is in, he's always eating. He is always every every citizen has does, and it's kind of funny. It's kind of like his thing. I don't like how Tom Cruise, gives that look with his eyebrow, or Steven Seagal runs with his arms flapping its kind of Brad Pitt's. Like, I didn't notice until I watch the video where someone pointed out Brad Pitt is eating all the time. And once I heard that, I'm like, I re-watched the Ocean's 11, 12 and 13, and nearly every scene. He's either eating a sandwich chewing gum. He's in, do it. There's something in his mouth other than his words. Okay. And yeah, huh. Now that started to get it. I like it. I get a little bit of a noise. I'd like to know what the town and asked for a little bit. Can you do that all the time?
00:42:02Cuz I guarantee he would tap like all the time like non-stop like Jacob. Jacob. Jacob. And then I put my hand on his you step on the time used to. Yeah, and then I realize I was annoying people with it. And I stopped. Oh my God, but the tapping in the swishing and the chewing and popping gum. Yeah, so I totally have misophonia brother. He has a brother, right?
00:43:02What is growing up? I didn't want to draw attention to myself cuz I tried to be as quiet as I can. So anybody who makes a noise annoys me. So I think we talked about before Andrew comes through the house. It's like we're in the middle of a home invasion at 2 in the morning playing ping pong. Like Joe Pesci's friend through years.
00:43:20Yeah, and it drives me nuts because he does not in a family where people will get upset if he's being loud. I hold it in. Is that okay? Do you really need to like grab the door knob with wild, abandon yank the door open and stop down the hallway PE with the door open system and the door slam and go back to bed. That's like 5 minutes of sleep that I missed. And then now I have to get back to sleep. Meanwhile when I go to do that who buy jumps from the bed out to the hallway skids and then barks at Charlie's door when Charlie gets up because boohbahs barking at the door and then Andrew has to go pee again and then best just can't take any of it and decide she's going downstairs to lay on the couch. And then comes back at 8 at night, in our house. What happened? What happened?
00:44:20Kids did the dishes Philadelphia. And I thank you for doing the dishes. Guys. If you ever listened to his pocket, I come into the kitchen every cabinet door wide open. I don't know. It's, you know, it's is actually easier to close a cabinet than it is to open it because it has the gravity working. So I called my son. I'm not going to, you know, call out who did it, but it was Cameron Cameron.
00:44:51And I'm standing in the kitchen. I'm like, what do you notice about the kitchen? It's warm in here and I like Candy, close the cabinets, buddy. Close the door. Closed them. Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get the opening up, getting the bowl, and then leaving it open. See, I have a, I think having kids ruins your ability to enjoy horror movies. Walk with me down this Lane. So, a big scary moment in one of the Paranormal Activities, I think it's 3 is when character walks into the ribs, and all the cabinet doors are open. Right now is like, oh my God, how could that possibly happen? Unless there's a demon in the house. I'm looking at. Like, I, I see that every other day, you know, where they hear weird sounds in the night. It doesn't, it doesn't mean anything anymore. Even, even your classic horror movies, like the Friday, the 13th, and Halloween, and those type of things. They hear a sound right? There, are sounds
00:45:5124/7 in this house of slamming running. Is that even if I woke up in the middle of my knee hurts?
00:46:03I wouldn't, I be like a really. What are you guys doing it. That was it? 35 years later. You started that night and certainly knew like I don't like a lot of things in order movies, do not scare me anymore because I'm like, that's, you know, okay, the cabinet open, right? Your kid brand on their, open up the cabinets for the sound of horror movies. All jumped out of the middle of the bed and more superstitious X in the middle of the night. Your dog jumps out of the bed out into the hallway. Turned around starts barking. Is that one or movie? All you do is put music in at the right. Point is like the dog senses something. I know this talks an idiot. This dog just ate and he has for it. And she's in Jesus's house. There's no telling what is going to do? The fact that it jumped out of the bed in the middle of the night and ran around and barked doesn't mean anything other than the fact that this dog out of it.
00:47:07This is William Shatner and I would like to invite you to take a journey with me into the 21st century. So, take the next few minutes and listen, very closely. You'll be amazed at what you hear.
00:47:22A couple weeks ago. We asked fans of the show. If you have any questions and nobody has to know, we had three question went and wanted to know if mustard belongs on the holiday table.
00:47:36Get your turkey. You got your dressing yet. Another is mustard in deviled eggs, which I don't like, but so mustard. Gas kills people do not mustard gas dumbass mustard, like helmet. I get that. I get that. But mustard, gas kills people that was used in World War, but we eat mustard question. I don't know. Okay, I don't know, but it reminded me of something when I was a kid. I watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, special glow in a pilgrims outfit. No, not a cello. Okay. He doesn't play a cello, cello.
00:48:20How did Snoopy play dance on top of the piano in the movie did have the pilgrim hat. Brightness? Yeah. Anyway, Peppermint Patty comes over and Peppermint Patties. A bitch in this episode. She really is she invites herself over and then she brings Marcy and she brings Franklin and they come over and so Charlie Brown does the best he can and their Thanksgiving dinner, was toast, pretzels, jelly beans, and one of those, the toast pretzels, jelly beans. It's like 10 Rito's. Okay. Sure. Well, I'm a kid. Okay, and when I was a kid, I didn't like turkey. Okay, and then my mom got love her. Mom's an awesome cook, but she made this potato dressing, which was made with mustard gas and some felt. It's a gold Bell seasoning.
00:49:20That works. Amazing hated cranberries. That's where I got my deep-seated hatred for cranberries. So the entire Thanksgiving dinner, was that I did not want to eat. Okay, and I said, mommy, can I have a Thanksgiving Charlie Brown had and mom was so awesome. She said, sure. So we're at my grandmother's house in Virginia. Everyone's eating their turkey and the deviled eggs in their country ham and their, their roles in their baked potatoes, and mashed potatoes, when I have a plate with jelly beans, toast, pretzels, and popcorn, my aunts, and uncles about lost their mind. They just about lost their mind. Why is she letting him eat all that? Oh, she's lost her coolest thing. She ever did.
00:50:11Take a dump. Sasa me. I tell him to go pound sand. Yeah, so my suggestion and I should have told this story a couple weeks ago. You know what your kid doesn't want Thanksgiving turkey. Let him eat something else. Yeah make him a ham sandwich. You eat the turkey in the gravy and everything else unless you can eat something else is not the end of the world. Yeah. Yeah.
00:50:38I miss you pick these Foods. Anyway, I don't know how the turkey became the traditional Thanksgiving meal, but it did. Yeah, I like it now.
00:50:51Hey, we're at the end of this one. Hey, I want to thank everyone for listening. Yeah, me too. If you're a new listener, you probably didn't make it this far. But if you did congrats congratulations. Go visit our website, we'd have some contacts. All the previous episodes. We have bonus content on patreon. We have a follow us on Facebook and Twitter, Twitter weekly update Facebook a lot of content. Yeah, but Twitter Twitter, I update Twitter, a lot with announcements and announcements if you. So we record the show live on Twitch, right? So if you want to come in and interacted, is part of the show and be one of the ones of of Watchers, you can do that. And then,
00:51:51Take the video. It's unedited obviously. And we make that available to patrons at different levels, you know, that you can get together with listening to this podcast. By the way, the merch. I'd so I'm not a big fan of podcasts and and things that Hawk their merch like, like say, hey, come by our stuff. Just take a look, though. Cuz some of our, some of our quotes are out there. A, you can get some Whoppers March, if you don't know what a what a is latest hot dogs known to man. Yeah, that logo is sweet, interesting beach towel with it. And that looks it looks violence on our website and you can get coffee mugs and stuff. As Christmas present. I'm still time to get irritable Down syndrome person and it may get to you before Christmas. Show your friends and family how much you care by giving the gift of irritable Down syndrome.
00:52:51Back here again next week. Next week. Hope to see you. Then. If this week's audio sounded echoey. It's because my wife kicked me out and I've been forced to record in my garage, but that's okay. I like it in here. See you next time.
Transcribed by algorithms.