IDS #325 - Vanilla Ice Pest Control

SPEAKER_03 0:00

I had a dream that I was about ready. I didn't start because I woke up before it could happen, but I was about to start whitewater rafting with Keanu Reeves. And that's not a euphemism. I mean, I'm literally, we were getting our gear on. Gotcha. And with the oars and the rafts. Uh-huh. And he said something, and I laughed, and he laughed, and then I woke up.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Good story.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Well, that's a heap and spoonful of truth soup right there.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Look for us on the cover of Dynamite magazine. Give it up for your hosts, Mike and Darren.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

Hi, I am Darren. I am Mike. Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome since I'm Comedy Podcast. This is episode 325. And boy, howdy, we have come off on a yeah, we just the last week's episode was one for the record books.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

And sweet marmalade, is it nice to have actual microphones? So to to if I may, Darren's like, should we record something on the road? Yeah, we're good. I'll just put my phone here, it'll be fine. Yeah. Audio will be fine. I got there's a thing in a car, and it'll come down, it'll be wonderful.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Yeah, I suggested that we record an episode while we drive up to Detroit. And you said that's a great idea because I don't know if we're gonna have time to do another episode. Mike's got a lot on his plate lately. And stupid me, I thought, because our little recording device is no bigger than a little laptop.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

You thought I was gonna bring that.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

I thought you might possibly do that. And I should have. And we would uh have handheld mics.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

And uh Mike says, Oh no, we're gonna do this on the Twitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

I was like, Yeah, okay. That's you know what? Now that you mention it, because it does have batteries, it can be well when you bought that. That's what you said.

SPEAKER_02 1:50

You said we could do that. We could this could be mobile, we could do the mobile podcast. So stupid me. That's what I thought we were gonna do. And Mike's like, eh, no, hell no, we're gonna do it on Twitch, it'll be great. And I'm not I'm gonna take part of the responsibility on this because we could have recorded for five minutes and stopped and checked to see how it sounded. We could have done that. Did we do that? No, we talked for an hour and 20 minutes and stopped and listened and thought, that sounds like Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

So and then I said, wait till I download it and run it through some things and we'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

You didn't work.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

And I did, and then it didn't work. Uh-huh. And Darren started to panic. Right. And and like Darren said, I got stuff on my plate. Uh he started to get the he Darren can tell when I've got too much on my plate because the text gets smaller and smaller.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

They're they don't even get smaller. They're invisible, they're invisible. Yeah. You do not text me. Right.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

And sometimes I'll say, uh what the f you're gonna do. Yeah. Uh see you. And uh Darren, Darren, uh-huh, uh the McGyver, you okay. So here's what I want to do. I want to present you with an award for saving the show.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

Well, I'm gonna hand that off to Dave Lay.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Okay. Check one, two, three.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Hi, I'm Dave Lay. Okay, I'm gonna brag. I think I'm a good editor. I think I'm a pretty good editor.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

You're a damn good editor.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

I think I'm a pretty good editor. Yeah. However, I'm not good when it comes to fixing things. When there's problems with audio, when there's problems with video, sometimes I can whip up a solution, but the audio was so bad. Uh, here's how bad it sounded. And we're like, all right, we're gonna wrap this thing up and good night, and everybody love you, love you too. And thanks for listening to your little dance syndrome, and cut mics and I tell you that I've been reading the story. Oh yeah. And then you told this a 10-minute long fantastic story. Okay. But I mean, it was overmodulated and poppy and crunchy and garbled. I mean, you guys just heard it. It sounded like crap, right? And so everything I knew to do, I mean, you could lower the levels, but you still had the the crappiness, the overmodulation. So I'm on the giggle, as you call it.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

If I may, I would like to steal a phrase from uh Fanch who stole it from Rex. Okay, it sounded like it'd been eaten by a wolf and sh off a cliff.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

That's exactly what it sounded like. So I went on Google and I'm looking up ways to correct over modulated audio, and I'm trying to do it in Audacity, the program that I use to edit, and this is so exciting. I know. And it wasn't working. Everything I followed it uh step by step by step by step, but then when the final thing, the last trigger, the last button that you push that's supposed to heal the audio, it didn't do it. It kept saying that the file was too big, or the file needs to be this, or you need to, and I'm trying and I'm troubleshooting as hard as I can, and that wasn't working. So I moved the audio into Adobe Audition, and that's the same thing. You uh you you take this step and this step and this step, and you press this and you highlight that. That wouldn't do it either. The last button that you would need to push was uh grayed out, you couldn't access it. So there was something I was doing wrong. All right, my question is what the hell? Anyway, long story short, I called Dave Lay. He is the announcer of this podcast, and he said, Well, uh, Darren, send the audio to me. Let me see what I can do. And I sent it to him within 20 minutes. He sent it back, and it sounded pretty good. Now, it wasn't perfect.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

It sounded good.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

It wasn't perfect, but it sounded pretty good, especially compared to how bad it sounded like.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

Well, I tell you what, it sounded like it sounded like our first few episodes like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Yeah, yeah. I said, What did you do? All he did was he put it in this program called Adobe Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 5:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

And I said, What did you have to finesse or any magic buttons or anything? No, he he imported it and let it cook, and then he sent it back to me. So Dave Lee is responsible for saving last week's episode. But I'm going through last week, you guys, you shouldn't have been in the car with us because here we are, we're recording, and Mike's like, Oh, those are some trees over there. Yeah, Mike, they can't see the trees. They and and also it's like that goes nowhere. Yeah. And then my favorite was when you said, Are those signs supposed to be that height?

SPEAKER_03 6:18

They looked really high.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

It's like, bro, how would I know? No, you why would I know if those hey, hey, those signs are supposed to be shorter than that, damn it.

SPEAKER_03 6:26

You've seen the Odyssey. And and spoiler, when they go on the one island and there's all these big dudes with the armor, the giants. Yes. Your first thought is, are those supposed to be that tall? Are those guys supposed to be that tall? That's what they look like what those signs were made for. Like end road work, who's that for? The birds? I'm down here. That sign's up there. One of my favorite one of the kids would say, Road work ahead.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

I hope it does. Yeah. Anyway, we had a great drive up there. If you didn't get that from listening to last week's episode, Mike and I, we we always have a good time when we travel. Yeah. We had a fun time driving up there. We recorded for about the first hour and a half or so.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Probably the most times we've ever mentioned John Laracat.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

That's right. Yes. Oh, by the way, I went home and I found that you can watch Blind Date on Tubi. Oh, yeah. So I checked it out. I watched it for free. I remember it now. I watched it back in the day. It still is a great movie. It's a fantastic movie. And I love so much that John Laracette is just the angriest, craziest psycho on the face of the earth, and he was chasing down Bruce Willis, and he's driving on the road, following them. He looks away. Next thing you know, he drives right through the window of a pet store. I'm like, he's on the interstate. Uh-huh. How does he drive through the front window? No, the first was a I think it was a paint store.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Yeah, he kept he kept driving into things.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

He drove through a paint store, he drove through a pet shop, and then he had monkeys and rabbits on the roof of his car. Now rabbits would be in a cage. Yeah, yeah. They would be running wild anyway. So there's you can tell that they had props. Can we get more rabbits on the roof of the car? Thank you. And then he drove through a flower. F-L-O-U-R, flower, like baking, like you bread.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Drives through that. And he's like, and every time he sees Bruce Willis, you son of a bitch, I'll kill you.

SPEAKER_03 8:31

And they're it's so much fun. Yeah. It's yeah. One of my all-time. I I watched it every time it was on any channel. I watched it. I I still love the first time when Bruce Willis finally loses it and gets drunk at the fancy party. Oh, yeah. And he does the basketball thing with the olive.

SPEAKER_02 8:50

There was the olive between the woman's betwixt her company's. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. So inappropriate. And then uh Larikette's dad, who is the judge, gets mad and he's hitting his gavel and it breaks and it flies across the room and hits Agnes on the head. And then three times in the movie. You all right, Agnes. Anyway, thank you for the reference. And if you have not seen Blind Date, or if you have seen it and it's worth a rewatch, it's on for free. Go to Tubi and watch it for free on Tubi. It was so good. While I was on Tubi, I also found a movie that I haven't seen in probably 40 years. Night Shift with Michael Keaton? Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton. Okay. Yeah. And I'm like, well, while I'm watching movies I haven't seen in 40 years, let's watch this one. God, that movie is still great. Directed by Ron Howard. Really? Yeah, that was like Ron Howard's first movie. I think it was his first movie.

SPEAKER_03 9:49

I don't think I ever watched it.

SPEAKER_02 9:50

I saw it was always on, but I never watched it. So they work in a morgue. They work the night shift at the morgue, and Henry Winkler's neighbor is Shelly Long from Cheers. Yeah. And she is a hooker or prostitute. Whore. There's some of the names that she was. Lady of the night. Exactly. Working girl. She's a tramp. So they become friends. And one night she gets all she gets all roughed up. And uh he's like, we've got to do something because she didn't have a pimp. And he and Michael Keaton decide we're gonna be pimps and take care of all these uh hookers. And uh they make all this money. Yeah, yeah. It's still a very funny movie, but I had no idea. Two things about this movie. Kevin Costner, he plays frat guy number one, or college guy number one. They're having this party in the morgue. Michael Keaton is dancing, walking with a bottle of beer on his forehead, trying not to drop the beer. Yeah, and who's walking right behind him step by step? Kevin Costner dances with wolves himself. Yeah. Kevin Costner, and they're cheering on Michael Keaton, and I'm like, holy crap, that's Kevin Costner. And then they keep playing the theme uh of the movie, which was uh That's what Friends Are For, which was Dion Warwick, Gladys Knight, Stevie Wonder, and Elton John. Uh-huh. And the music is playing, I'm like, is that that's that's what friends are for, right? And then at the end, Rod Stewart did the theme song for it. But I had no idea. It's like you got this movie about prostitutes and uh pimps and drugs and people beating the hell out of each other, and the music was by Burt Baccarak and Carol Mayersinger. It was an odd little combination, but it was a good movie. Yeah, it was a very good movie.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

You are listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Well, the jokes keep on coming.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

That's not why you called. No. Last week, our purpose of the podcast was to drive up to Detroit, see Rush. The second part of the podcast was going to be our reaction to the concert, which we did not do because the audio quality was not what we wanted. And we're like, we'll do that later. We almost did it. We almost did it on Sunday, but yeah, you couldn't do it anyway. Yeah. My review, amazing. Oh my god. The show was insane, yeah, amazing. Getty Lee, Alex Lifeson, Livison, GD have never sounded better. Now, when I saw them, I you also saw them on the Clockwork Angels tour. Yes. Getty Lee's voice was struggling, and he was trying unsuccessfully to hit these high notes.

SPEAKER_03 12:37

Well, he does a he does a thing and he he does it on the R40 DVD or Blu-ray or whatever you want to call it. He kind of warbles his voice going up into the into the high parts, and it just sounds odd. It sounds like he's almost like he's moaning the lyrics sometimes. And when he actually sang this time, he just sang in a lower register. Yes. That's all he did. Yes. Just did this, he sang, and it made all the difference in the world. Yes. So yeah, the old school hardcore rush people would be like, oh, this is the part where he does his thing and your glass shatters in your hand.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Hey, what happened?

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Well, that's not gonna happen, but it still sounds awesome.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Yeah, when they did closer to the heart, yeah, instead of going closer to the heart. He went closer to the heart. Yeah. And it works.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Yeah. And I didn't even notice it until halfway through the show. I'm like, oh, he's actually not. I just kept thinking, he sounds really good. He sounds really good. And I was like, oh, he's just not going for that.

SPEAKER_02 13:36

He didn't go for it. And it sounded amazing.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

I I so they are in their 70s. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Genny Lee looks amazing. And Alex Alex looks like he's always looked.

SPEAKER_03 13:45

They're not playing the easy stuff. No. If you look at any of the set lists, I mean they have what I've read is they are cycling between three or four different set lists. They start out with Xanadu, of course they're going to do 2112 and Tom Sawyer, or there's going to be a riot. But the other songs.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Spirit of radio.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Spirit of Radio. The other songs, they jumble up a few in the middle, and they are playing the tough ones. Y Z, Anthem. They did Anthem. Yeah. Animate. They always do animate. I love animate. It's one of my favorite favorite Rush tunes. But they were not messing around. They did Time Stand Still, which gave me a whole different view of that song. Uh-huh. So call me what you will. I always thought that was a love song. It turns out it's not. Right. It looked like it was like a traveling song because they were showing Neil Peart famously when his he had some family tragedy happen, and he just effectively quit the band and went solo on a motorcycle ride. For a couple of years, right? For a couple years, uh, North America, South America, all over the place, wrote a book called Ghost Rider. Yeah. Which I have. I haven't read it yet. Oh, I think his motorcycle was a BMD, a BMD. Ikea. No, his motorcycle was a BMW motorcycle. Yeah. And they showed all through Timestand Still, they showed that motorcycle going down these roads. I was like, oh, this is about traveling the world and taking time and looking at what's going on around you. So I was doing some introspection during the show. I was, I have not been I was a little for Clem. I have not been that drawn into a concert in a very, very long time. Even when I see it's been known to happen with the U2s. You get to like song 15 or 16, and you're like, how many more of these we gotta go? My feet are starting to hurt. I didn't feel like that at all.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

No, I don't know. The whole time I was like, that song absolutely has to be in this set.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

Well, the next song was starting, that song has to be in the thing. And then they had the little tributes to Neil, which I appreciated, but I don't want to cry in front of a bunch of. I mean, the audience was about 99% 50-year-old and above men.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

You know what? I did. There were more women there than I expected. There was way more women than I thought there would be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

I was just like, you know, just get like uh Mr. T in the uh clatter with the chips and meatballs, like suck that tear back in there, get back in. Like I didn't want to cry in front of all these people, but it's right. I couldn't help it. It was just they did fantastic montages of him and his life.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

And he, you know, Getty Lee would get up there and talk about when they first auditioned him and how they just didn't know what to make of this guy, and he pulled up in this little piece of shit car, and then they were instantly just instantly hooked with him. And you could tell that Getty was you know getting all kind of teared up talking about Neil. Yeah. And the replacement for Neil.

SPEAKER_03 16:37

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Annika. She never missed a beat. She was insane. I haven't seen anything like that in a very, very, very long time. And it's like I've said a long time ago that you know, Getty and Alex know what they're doing. If they're gonna replace Neil, they're gonna do it right. And oh my god, did they do it right? She was just a ray of sunshine back there, just and didn't even break a sweat. Yeah. How do you play? I thought she was gonna break her snare. She was hitting the snare so damn hard.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Yeah, and and um yes. She was hitting everything. So and Tom Sawyer, of course, our crowd cheered when she did the you know the famous Phil. Yep. But there were also if you go to a rush show, there's going to be air drumming. I I couldn't help it. I did it a few times. You did as well. You can't help it. It just happens. Yeah. And there were a number of songs in there which are are kind of known for their drummy parts. And for lack of a better cushiony parts.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Yeah, they're kind of known for their drummy parts.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

They would get little cheers. It was almost like, oh, here's the fan club for uh Xanadu, and here's the fan club for um YYZ. Yeah. It was just a fun, fun show. And she bought into the humor. There's a sense, a real sense of humor with Rush. Uh-huh. And they have fun playing. Any of you out there that are older enough or were fortunate enough to ever see Van Halen live, and you were close enough. We were uh me and Finch and uh the Kevin Brown were fortunate enough to see Van Halen. We were front row and Eddie grins the entire time. Yes. He's never not grinning and interacting with the audience. I was like, a couple of times I wanted to say, can you just look at your guitar? Just pretend like it's as hard.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Can you make me feel a little less inhuman? Yeah, and he's just so amazing.

SPEAKER_03 18:33

Getty and Alex are the same way. Alex is over there, like you'll he'll be doing like this amazing guitar solo, and the camera will pan up and he's making goofy faces at the front row. It's like, dude, yeah, are you even are you awake right now? Yeah. Yeah. And she was she was playing into that. She had somebody bring her what, what, ruffles at the end. At the end of the last song, she's over there eating potato chips while the song is finishing. She just fits right in with that humor. And I know that I I did watch an interview with Getty and Alex afterwards, and they answered the question where she came from. Yeah. Which you were asking me. Uh Getty, his guitar tech, yeah, knows uh Jeff Beck or Jeff Beck's.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

She played with Jeff Beck.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

And uh Getty actually said, Well, can you introduce us? Yeah. And they hung out for about five days together. They were just jamming, and said she just blended right in. And she came at the drums from a different genre and a different direction. And they thought that was really cool. And he said, quote, and she just attacks those drums, which we agree. She was just beat, she beat those drums like they owed her money. And there, and I'll tell you about this as well. There's a video on YouTube that I thought was fascinating. Somebody took a recording, a live recording with video and everything of Neil Peart playing Tom Sawyer and then one of her playing Tom Sawyer, and they put them side by side. Oh, really? And had her audio coming out of one speaker and his out of another. It's amazing how the tempo, like I get that a drummer is gonna have good tempo. I get that. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? The whiplash. Not my tempo, you know. Were you Russian or were you dragon? You can just watch the video. You tell they're not editing or anything. She's like, it's like, but every once in a while there's a little extra flourish or or something happening here or there. But it's just fascinating to watch.

SPEAKER_02 20:26

But she paid so much respect to Neil. She keeps a pair of his sticks at her on her drum set. Or at least she did night one. I don't know that she does that every night. Yeah. But I heard about that. Couple things. I'm not complaining. But here's Alex and Getty and Annika going to town, just absolutely tearing the place apart. And then if you look over to the right, there's Lauren, the guy on the keyboards, and he was just standing there. I'm sorry. Nice guy. I mean the times that I heard him, yeah, they didn't need to bring him. I'm sorry. I am sorry for all you Lauren Gold fans. All eight of you. He didn't need to be there. So a trio for a gazillion years.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

Famously a trio. And the comment that you'll see all the time on the videos is I can't believe this much sound comes out of three people. Right.

SPEAKER_04 21:23

Oh, it's the magic number. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

I'm glad that he was there for this reason. Because some bands will record some of the keyboardy things in the background. Yes. And what part of what's frustrating Darren and me as well is Getty also plays the keyboard. Yes. Because they'll zoom in on his hands playing a keyboard, and then he's got his other thumb hitting the bass, you're like, Jesus, dude. What are your toes doing the harmonica? What the hell?

SPEAKER_02 21:49

When I heard that they were bringing a keyboard player, I was initially upset because I'm like, if he's the one doing the meeny, meeny, meeny, meeny, meen me, meeny, meeny, meeny, I was like, No. Yeah. Getty. plays that. Yeah. That's Getty's keyboard solo. Yeah. So anyway, Lauren's back there playing keyboards and I heard him some of the time, but not all the time. But yeah, the three of them were just throwing down hard. Oh dude. And he actually like walked back to the corner like, is there Did I leave my wallet down in the corner? I think it's oh here it is. Yeah. And then and what pissed you off and me the most was at the end of the second set and Getty's like thank you goodnight. We love you. Thank you so much for coming out and they all wave and they walk off. People started leaving. A good 30 or 40 people left. I'm like you got to know they're gonna do it on there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

And it's rush. It's it's what may be their final tour. Yeah. They're gonna make a big deal about the end and they did. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

They did Finding My Way and Working Man.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

Yeah. With a little tribute to John Rutze in there.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Yeah yeah they did a tribute to their OG drummer which brought another little tear to my eye. Yeah. I'm like how cool is that because everybody knows that Neil Peart wasn't their original drummer. Yeah. And so they did Finding My Way Working Man both off of their first album.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

Uh-huh and it took a lot of art if I may they took a lot of artistic license with those cartoon characters because those cartoon characters looked really cool and then they would show pictures of themselves and I'm like guys yeah I mean come on you're not I love you I love you so much but you're not that badass. It it wasn't until like the song was halfway over like oh that's supposed to be them I thought that was rat.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

I thought that was Stephen Pearcy I can't remember anything else but I remember that Stephen Pearcy was the lead singer for rat. This kind of pisses me off a little bit you God love you whenever Mike and I go on a concert to a concert Mike is just one of the most amazing ticket buyers he's really really good at getting in there and getting tickets and so Mike got us the tickets to see the show in Detroit which we were happy to go it's only what four hours our seats were actually in Chicago but we saw the we hear the show was great. We had a Sherpa we we had uh halfway up we acclimated to the atmosphere and then we went up and we found our seats but there were still four people higher up than us so we weren't the highest people at the show so we go all the way to Detroit to see this show we get home a couple days passes rush announced they're coming to Cincinnati are you going to the Cincinnati I was telling a buddy of mine the money I spent on the tickets uh the t-shirt yeah you got the gas the food the hookers the blows I would my concert budget is whack I would I would absolutely love to see him again um I don't think best or Libby would no like well best also knows that the U2s are about to announce a tour within the next month they're gonna announce a tour.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

Yeah and Bess already knows that as soon as the sentence finishes coming out of Bono's mouth yeah you got to have the tickets bought the next morning at 6 a.m you got 30 seconds to decide what part of the world you're gonna be in.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Yeah anyway they were absolutely amazing and if you get an opportunity and if you could afford it oh they're a bit bit pricey teeny weeny ity bitty bit pricey yeah but it's worth it and Mike and I had a fantastic time so uh congratulations to Rush on continuing to be major forces they're back and roll yes they're back this portion of our show is brought to you by Auto Honk, the new feature for your car that's taking the world by storm.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

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SPEAKER_02 26:21

Download the app today at autohonk.com so before the show started I got so embarrassed at myself and I'm so embarrassed.

SPEAKER_03 26:33

If you're a patron and you find you watch the video feed you'll notice that when this video started I was in the midst of a blown out cackle.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

I hurt my diaphragm I was laughing so hard at this without getting into specifics um I'm walking downstairs to Mike's uh basement Studio B as we call it and my mom called and mom and I have mutual friends and one of our friends isn't doing very well at all he's been in the hospital for a couple of months so I got an update today on our friend and I had talked to mom earlier and said this was uh the situation so mom calls me up and said hey can you send me that text with all the information about our friend and I said yeah sure um so I'm trying to copy and paste this text with the information about our friend who's not doing well and I accidentally gave it a thumbs up I'm trying to delete the thumbs up and I almost hearted the the information with our friend who's really not doing well. Yeah so yeah let's just give it a thumbs up Darren and I'm trying to delete it and I can't and I'm like Mike what am I supposed to do because this looks horrible and Mike said Darren you gotta own it so I commented to my friend who sent the information and I said I was trying to copy and paste this text and send it to my mom and I gave it a thumbs up within a minute I get a response a smiley face and my friends that happens to me all the time so it got a chuckle yeah but oh my god I was so embarrassed. I mean there's so embarrassed there's worse emojis you could have used you could have had puke face you could have had an eggplant there's all kinds of just inappropriate pizza slice yeah you could have any of that with the pizza slice so yeah it's um that's why I hate emojis oh my god I can't believe I said that it's time now for the Kroger story of the week people watching this recording will see that I'm wearing a Phineas and Ferb t-shirt when I was at the grocery store today I'm walking out and there was a woman and she's got two little girls probably five years old and the woman the mom the lady she looks at me and she thinks that this Phineas and Ferb shirt has something to do with Harry Potter. What'd you say? Now I have no idea that's the first time anyone has confused Phineas and Ferb with Harry Potter and even the five year old girl looks at her like mom what are you talking about? And I said to the little girl you know when I grow up I hope that I'm as smart as Phineas and Ferb right and so then the mom says oh Phineas and Ferb and she says maybe that's a show that we can uh we can watch with the girls and I looked at her said you haven't watched Phineas and Furb? I said do I need to call the authorities on you and then the girl looks at her mom she says I've watched it mom I watched it at Uncle Raymond's house and then the mom was kind of like you have like it it just turned into a thing that's not supposed to be a thing and I told the mom I said Phineas and Furb is a great show it's very appropriate for the entire family so it's don't get upset with Uncle Raymond it's no problem that she's watched this anyway the mom thanked me for the reference of the show and if you've never watched Phineas and Furb it's on Disney Plus check it out immediately it's it's a fantastic show. Now you know me Mike when I go to the grocery store whenever there's quiet I feel that's awkward and I have to strike you'll talk to the the freaking peanut guy if you I will I will if there's somebody you know stalking the I I I just talk to too many people. Yeah so the cashier rings up my order and it comes up to 5252. Okay and I say whoa that's a unique number and the cashier like you doesn't care. And she looks she goes yep she's had enough of your already she said yep that's a good one you want your receipt yes she's praying that she doesn't hurt you and have to go back to jail.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

That's what she's doing.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Yep yep that's a good one she could not care.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

You're chipping away at her sobriety one comment at a time is what you're doing with that I got home and we're unpacking the groceries and Libby she looks at the stuff that I buy and she said um did you buy an avocado like I don't think I like your tone she she asked me kind of like what's these 40 texts that you have with Jennifer she said sorry I just didn't know what we were going to eat with the avocado yeah yeah I said does I mean do I you know I mean we could make tacos right but yeah it was just like a tone a forceful I don't know you okay I'm good I'm thinking I'm thinking about nuts because the look on your face you're like I thought you had you just so I'm a little annoyed at Kroger because when you were talking about Kroger I start to imagine it and then I imagine last time I was there I mentioned in the course of your story somebody somebody stacking nuts and then I remembered Kroger has stopped selling the Jordan almonds which have become my favorite candy they're like the Jordan almonds are hugely successful and popular. But they don't sell them anymore. Kroger also stopped selling they haven't had them in a while they haven't sold bonesuck and mustard in a couple of years and they changed the design of their peanuts uh and I don't know why like wait Kroger changed the design of their peanuts I mean not the peanuts themselves they're not like in little tutus I'm talking about like the canister uh like who gives it you're buying Kroger brand nuts uh who are you advertising you know that there's like a meeting right there's Russell I want to find out what demographic of people are eating these nuts and we're gonna redesign this canister we need less purple on the can. We need more red and brown which is what they are now all my years but who why?

SPEAKER_02 32:58

For 12 years I did commercial production and you know we would sit through these uh uh people would come in and say well you know it's like this is what they need to do to refine their brand and this is what they need to do to really tune in on their brand yeah and some of it made sense some of it made a lot of sense and some of it made no sense yeah and one of the things that they do at grocery stores and as Kroger has done it Win Dixie has done it I was in the Breaking Bad Walmart a few weeks ago and they were doing it they decide just on a whim hey it let's move everything because yes because that's what the customer wants right the customer doesn't want bread on aisle one they want bread on aisle seven yes like who far it is yeah and it just I don't get it I just don't get it now if they really came to me and said okay here's a suggestion and this is one that makes sense there's the Kroger that we shop at right and it has bread on aisle one. Yes now the Kroger on the Michael A Fox Highway has bread at the end of the store before you get to the produce department. Okay I can see why you would have bread at the end of the store. It's like why put bread in your cart first and then you got to move it around so you don't put anything on top of it. Have bread at the end and then bread can go on top of your bread, eggs.

SPEAKER_03 34:20

Yeah I just hate going to a different store because I think in terms of where things are relative to other things I know what you're talking about the bread being an aisle one I also know the rice is two aisles over from the bread. Right. I know the Mexican is one aisle on the other side of the bread. Wait but the Mexican food the Mexican or that bagger that you but the rice and beans are two aisles over on the other and then the ice cream is placed appropriately right at the end of the store so it's the last thing you walk through before you go up to the the Yeah well unless you need dog food.

SPEAKER_02 34:59

Yeah if you need dog food you gotta buy that after you buy your ice cream yeah yeah once you see ice cream who needs dog food anyway I don't get it I don't know why the rhyme or reason that they go into redesign an entire store all I know is the two times that they did it in the five and a half years I worked at Windex E, people were pissed.

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Yeah just and it took them a couple the our loyal customers uh it took them a couple weeks of being pissed and they would still shop at our store but they didn't like it and they would let me know how you doing Darren I don't like where you got the jelly yeah I mean you guys know why you had the total I agree you guys have the seasonal aisle and you have those end caps go crazy with those who gives a oh and if you noticed that they got rid of those coolers that were the where you could get the single drinks for some reason yeah they replaced all the clear glass doors they did with video screens I didn't see it which had video of what was in so walk with me down this lane if you will okay we've got our soda and monster drinks behind this glass door and that's the ones that you buy individual jars or in a refrigerator a jar. So we're going to instead of having a clear glass where you can see them we're going to cover that up with a video screen that has a picture of what is in there. And that drove people crazy. Yeah and they they I know because I it pissed me off because I'm like how much money do they spend on this I'm over here buying lunch meat for like 10 bucks a pound. Yeah they passed they passed that on to you and then they got rid of them after about six months and I know it's because people kept getting pissed because because the pictures of what was in the front didn't match what was on the inside when you opened it so what's the fucking point the one thing that I have been suggesting that they do at the grocery store is to put dental floss right next to the ears of corn.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

I'm sorry but it just makes sense you're buying corn you might as well get floss because you're gonna be getting it anyway. Buy one ear of corn get a tube of floss for a tube of floss a packet of floss a a a murder of floss whatever the hell you call it free floss with every bundle of corn this has been the Kroger story of the week a couple of weeks ago I had cleaned out Libby's car and I found my old Rubik's cube now I've got a few Rubik's cubes so I found my Rubik's cube and this is an actual like the one that says Rubik's by Rubik by Mr.

SPEAKER_03 37:37

Rubik.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

It was yeah it's got the logo in the middle of the white side so it's an honest to God Rubik's Cube and I'm like man I haven't messed with this in a long time so I'm sitting there and I'm futzing with my Rubik's Cube and Libby's like did you get the mail I'm like oh no I can run out and get it right now so I'm going out to get the mail and I've got my Rubik's Cube in my hand. Yeah now that's why I'm holding a Rubik's Cube this guy comes down the street and he is in a segue and he's got his hat on backwards and he looks like vanilla ice okay ice ice baby so this vanilla ice looking comes down in a segue and he turns his head to the side so hard I thought it was gonna break and he said oh you have a Ruby excuse oh my lord yeah and I said yes I do yeah and he said can you solve it I'm like yes I can he goes oh I can only solve one side you really you can do all six sides yeah and I said yeah I I can how do you do that okay well that's not something you can explain yeah I was enjoying myself here before you started this ridiculous conversation I was just having having minding my own business yeah getting my mail and granted yeah I mean how often do you see a guy walking in his driveway with a Ruby's cube but still and he says how do you do it and I said and you got Richard Van Winkle or whatever Vanilla Ice's real name is is that his name and I said and so you would have been impressed uh because I can solve the Ruby's Cube in a little over a minute. Yeah okay yeah yeah now I'm no uh I I can't enter any of these competitions those guys who can do it in three and four seconds and yeah uh I I can't do that but I can do it in about a minute. Okay. And so I thought well let's just show off for vanilla ice here. So I said I always do the white side and then I get you know in the middle you get this four corners you put this one this one this one then you flip it. Now you got the yellow here you got da da da da da da and then you make the fish. Okay they go up down right up right okay then you see you only have these three pieces uh left you go up up right down right up let up left up right up and then you go and he's like what happened blew his mind just blew his mind I'm like and that's how you do it were you paying attention vanilla were you paying attention you know and so I'm I'm getting ready to walk back into the house and he said and I wasn't gonna ask him why he was in because I didn't care why he was in my neighborhood but he says sir before you go by the way that was impressive I'm in this neighborhood right now I'm helping so a lot of your neighbors with pest control I'm like you're okay one you're not helping any of my neighbors yeah um and he says uh do you have uh do you have spiders I'm like yes everybody has spiders everybody has spiders do you have any problems with ants I'm like yeah we have problems with ants from time to time you showed off to a salesman yeah you feel like you wasted your he asked me how to do it there was there was some a time I wasted like a minute and maybe ten seconds I mean these days that's all over the internet but there was a time back in the 80s if you could solve a Ruiz cube you could get some tail exactly you would impress some people man great tail I mean they had those ads in the back of Spider-Man comic books that you could mail in for the little guide you could you could see yeah you could see you could get some tail with that man that was an actual marketable skill that's right you could these days everybody knows somebody that can do it like yeah well I mean that's how I got I got married Libby so he won't stop asking do you have ants we yeah we have ants they come around the fall time and I go to I go to Home Depot and I get the red uh the white bottle with the red cap yeah and I spray around the perimeter of the house and he's it's so and that I was like yeah and it works works fine and he says well do you have any problems I was like I I appreciate your time uh but I've got to get back inside and solve this Ruby skew again I said I said I've got to get back inside I appreciate your time but I'm I'm not gonna use you for for any I don't I have no pest control needs that I need yeah and then he looks up and he goes you've oh you've got a massive hornet nest up above your your garage and we've had that there for years the last time somebody with pest control uh services came he asked me about that what do you want to gonna do about it nothing nothing and I told that guy says he says do you want me to get it down no and he just looked at me like I was crazy are you serious I said it's vacant man nobody lives up there there's been no bees in there forever yeah and he says all right well I get it you're busy here let me give you my card and let me come back on a day where you're not busy and I just said dude you don't need to come back no I mean I just listen I'm telling you you don't need to come back yeah I'm not gonna uh use any pest control services yeah I I just I love the your neighbors are all doing it oh yeah I'm helping I'm helping I'm helping all your neighbors two two of the five visible neighbors I have right now would shoot you dead if they saw you walking by their house that's yeah nobody here is using your services Bess and I had to go into uh my hometown and we were just listening to stuff along the way which we normally do we we tell Spotify to to do its thing and then we just listen to stuff uh whatever we just like oh sing along whatever and the and the whole thing play some stuff but then after a while there's a on the way back you know she was in her own little world and I put in the old earbuds because that's safe driving on the highway put the earbuds in so you can't hear anything and I got a hankering for a mighty wind and I started listening to the Mighty Wind soundtrack and I was singing along and laughing I was laughing so hard at like it would and it would go to even the Mickey and Mallory which typically yeah I I I I I get that the movie's hilarious end of the rainbow.

SPEAKER_03 43:59

Yeah More precious than a pot of it. But it was usually back in the past when I was listening to the Mickey and Mallory would come on. I'm like, I'm not in the mood for that. Give me the sail away, the Main Street rollers, and the uh the folksmen with the I'm oiled up, I'm a what a machine. You know, the their version of Start Me Up. They do a cover of Start Me Up. Start Me Up. Start me up. Never stop.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

They did that on Conan.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

And then they went over, we're talking to Conan, and Conan says, What a great song. And they said, Well, you know, it's a uh it's a cover.

SPEAKER_03 44:35

There's so many little things in all of their performances that crack me up. The Christopher Guest, uh huh, when he's singing, he goes the warbling thing, uh, blood on the coal. It's just uh just oh my god. And I was just having a uh just a dandy of a time. Well that's what he did. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

It's one of those movies that it's like that I don't think a lot of people truly appreciate how great that movie is.

SPEAKER_03 45:06

Best does not like those type of movies. Oh god, you got uh Mighty Wind, Western Show, Waiting for Government, Spinal Tap is in that Spinal Tap was with Rob Reiner, the others were uh Christopher Guest joints, but they're all basically the same thing. And oh my god. I was in tears. Yeah. I was just laughing at all of them and having the greatest time. So if you haven't in a while, uh fire up the Mighty Wind soundtrack. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:34

Oh my god. It's really, really good. You're listening to the only podcast that matters Irritable Dad Syndrome with Mike and Darren.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

We got a good 50 minutes on this. And I gotta go buy some bananas before I go to bed for reasons. And I'm just gonna leave it at that.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

What other reason do you have to buy a banana?

SPEAKER_03 45:58

We buy a bunch of banana and a bunch. I don't think that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

I mean, they come they come in a bunch, yeah. They're very creative banana company.

SPEAKER_03 46:05

I get excited that I can have a banana and then they last in this house for a day. Now it's me, Bess, Charlie, and these two dogs. Uh-huh. The dogs aren't eating the bananas. Okay. Right? I think Charlie's eating the bananas because he's trying to be healthy for cross-country. Okay. But throw down a bone here. The the bananas are the only thing that's keeping me away from just uh going insane on donuts and whatever else. Because I've learned a uh, I think the kids call it a hack. Is if you get some almond butter, stick with me.

SPEAKER_02 46:38

Okay, I've got a big I wasn't going anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

Put a couple of tea uh tablespoons of almond butter on a plate, uh-huh, and then cut up a banana and start eating it. The first couple of slices you're like, well, this is okay, but what's the point? But by the time you get near the end of the banana, uh huh, it actually starts to fill you up.

SPEAKER_04 46:56

Banana. Banana.

SPEAKER_03 46:59

It's like a hack. Yeah. And there's a little bit of sugar in the banana, and then you got the potassium, that's good for your penis or whatever. The point is right. It's a healthy snack. Uh-huh. It is. It keeps me away from the demons of the uh the sugar. Yes. And I I it wasn't available last night, so last night I had to make do with some apples. Uh huh. And the apples tasted like they had been dipped in arsenic. Now, maybe they had been, but they tasted very chemically, and I didn't care for it. One bit. And I need some.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

What is your go-to apple? So we do the um um Gala.

SPEAKER_03 47:36

Okay. I go gala. I start with gala. Uh-huh. Sometimes if I'm nasty, I'll get the what are the the crisp? The honey, the honey crisp. Honey crisp.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

Honey crisp is my go-to apple.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

I never ever buy the Granny Smith.

SPEAKER_03 47:51

What's the the Because I I don't hate Granny? Yeah, they're disgusting. And Bess likes those. Uh-huh. There's something that's called like the the lust or the the funky apple. The lust apples. The lust apple. Avocado apple. Apple. I don't know what it's called.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

What is wrong with it? This isn't dev this isn't the dev comedy. Ambrosia.

SPEAKER_03 48:12

Ambrosia. That's right. Ambrosia.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

Don't you take that apple? What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_03 48:17

Did you ever make apples? Do you ever have a grapple?

SPEAKER_02 48:21

No. Is that part grape, part, part of grape? It is. It is not.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

It is. They bred grapes and apples. Oh no, they didn't do anything crazy like that. They took some apples. Grape will f anything if you leave it alone long enough.

SPEAKER_02 48:35

Again, this isn't Deaf Comedy Jam.

SPEAKER_03 48:38

They took uh apples and they put them in this grape bath and they leave them there, I don't know, for like a year or something. And then they come out and they're expensive as sh, but it's an apple. When you bite into it, it tastes like a grape. Okay. But it's got the texture of an apple. It's weird, and your brain says, Whoa, have I been poisoned?

SPEAKER_02 48:58

What did Jeff Goldblum say in Jurassic Park?

SPEAKER_03 49:01

They worried about whether they whether they could. They didn't think about whether or not they should. No, I'll eat that, but I won't eat a seedless watermelon because I think that goes against the Lord. Okay. Well, Leviticus. That's right. It's there. It's in Numbers and Deuteronomy, too.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

Now I'm pretty sure I've told this story on the podcast, but I'm going to tell it again because uh you brought up bananas, and I love bananas, and I I eat one almost every morning. So for the longest time, and I still do this from time to time, we will be out and about, and a woman will ask me, Do you know where they have the hammers? I'm like, Did you and I'll look at Libby and I'm like, Did you see you know where they have the hammers? The hammers, yeah, or something. I'm like, can you believe that woman flirting with me? Like, like the woman bagging my groceries. Do you want these in paper or plastic? Uh I will have them in plastic, you slut. And then and then I was like, Do you see the way she's looking at me? And I was like, Yeah, I know, honey. And anytime we're out, and if a woman looks at me, if she asks me a question, I'll be like, I I look, can I I've got a ring on my finger. Yeah, yeah. She can tell that I'm taken. Libby, I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable. That's so many women keep talking to me. And it's a big joke, and we all think it's hilarious. I am at Kroger one night and I'm by myself, and there is a woman, this blonde lady, she's an attractive woman. Okay. Uh she's walking up there to the register and she says, Why don't you go ahead and me? You only have two things. And I said, Uh no, I I insist, you you go ahead. Um she goes, No, no, no, you go ahead. You have two things. I had bananas and some celery. Okay. And I said, Okay, thank you very much. So I put the stuff on the conveyor belt. Uh-huh. And the woman, she says, uh, while I'm waiting, she goes, I'm sorry. I've just got to ask, what are you making that you use bananas and celery? And I'm thinking, there's nothing I'm making that uses both of them in moron. Yeah. And I said, Well, I use the celery for when I make chicken and noodles. Because you take chicken, noodles, and then an onion, and then the the cut of celery. And that's and she goes, R chicken and noodles. I said, Yeah. And then the bananas I put in my smoothies. A smoothie?

SPEAKER_03 51:18

She just arrived on the planet.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

I said, Have you never heard of a? I said, Yeah, you put strawberry, blueberry, yeah, some yogurt and a banana, and then uh some ice, and that's your smoothie. I've never heard anything like that. And she is, Mike, she is talking me up. And I'm thinking, the one time my wife's not here, yeah, and it's honest to God, I really think this woman is flirting with me because ain't nobody that interested in chicken noodles and banana smoothies. Right.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

Yeah. Nobody's sane.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

I went home and I'm like, Libby, you missed it. She goes, Oh, yeah, some attractive woman is flirting with you. I'm like, she was. And she missed it.

SPEAKER_04 52:00

Uh-huh. And she was.

SPEAKER_02 52:02

I swear to God, she was.

unknown 52:05

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 52:08

Oh, you wrapped this up.

SPEAKER_03 52:09

Yeah, let's wrap this up and put it in the mail.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

We're gonna go. We want to thank you for listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome. If you haven't listened to last week, yeah, go back and listen to that one. It was a fun time. It was fun, and uh again, we had a hoot. We apologize for the quality of the audio, but you know what? It wasn't horrible. Yeah, we just really, really appreciate you guys being with us, our loyal fans and our new fans and everything. Go to irritabledath syndrome.com and you can listen to every episode. If you are new to the podcast, irritable dad syndrome.com, there's a section that says new to the podcast question mark. That's where you can listen to Best of Volume Six, which is a banger. Yes. Volume six, volume five, volume four, three, two, and one. Oh my god. Best of volume one. I went and looked at that again the other day. There's some great stuff on that. There is so much great stuff. Yeah. And uh, but yeah, anyway, we really appreciate everything that you guys do for us, and we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

SPEAKER_01 53:03

Irritable Dad Syndrome is a Mike Odell Darren Cox production, and don't you forget it.

SPEAKER_03 53:12

Well, that's in our demographic, our 50 plus demographic. Yes, they did. They did um finding my way and we're gonna be. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What it's not finding. Finding my way. Fly by night is what I got. Yeah, no, they didn't do fly by night. Finding my way, and you're right, working man. So I don't sound like it.

SPEAKER_02 53:37

Always. Always. And we're back.

SPEAKER_03 53:41

Stump says, I'm the first person you've ever seen wearing a rush shirt. Badass.

unknown 53:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:46

Badass. I was gonna wear mine, but I knew you'd be wearing yours too.

SPEAKER_03 53:49

Yeah, I told Bess that you were gonna wear yours while I'm wearing mine, and we'd look like a pair of um jackalopes.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 53:57

You'll have to forgive our forclempt appearance. Darren just did some wild right before I hit the live.

SPEAKER_02 54:05

I'm so embarrassed.

SPEAKER_03 54:07

I had a dream last night that I It was an awesome dream. I gotta jump up the saturation because you know that's the funny. That's right, that's the funny increase.

SPEAKER_02 54:18

That's where the comedy comes in.

SPEAKER_03 54:20

That's that there, yeah, that's that's about right. That's good, yeah. That's great. And I this is hands free. Yes, hands free. We always use our hands so much when we record in studio.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Okay, that's good. Thank you. Don't do that again.

SPEAKER_03 54:39

Did that hurt your ears?

SPEAKER_02 54:40

No, it was just just um bothersome.

SPEAKER_03 54:44

Alright, we gotta go because I gotta get bananas. Alright, alright. So you guys how do you end this damn thing? There we go.

SPEAKER_00 55:01

One more outburst and I'll hold you in contempt. Are you all right, Agnes?