IDS #328 - Poppin' and Lockin' With Fat Bears

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Do you have a dial on how many people download the bonus clips?

SPEAKER_04 0:04

No.

unknown 0:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:06

I mean, I can look, but I I don't.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

There's a way to find out, though, is what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay. I just want to know if I'm doing it for a reason.

SPEAKER_04 0:16

You are.

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

If nobody If nothing else, it gives me great joy. They're my favorite part of the show.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

The deleted the Okay. Because if nobody's listening to them, then I'll just do it.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

Well, they're the everyone listens to them all the time. All the time. Okay. They're the most popular thing that we do.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

Okay, now you're mocking me.

SPEAKER_04 0:40

I'm not mocking you. I'm trying to keep you doing them. Because that's what they all keep doing. If they go, I go.

SPEAKER_03 0:50

And again, I can't do this by myself.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

I've always wanted to have enough power in an organization to say that and have any weight. So I'm going to finally get. If the clips go, Darren, if the bonus clips go, I go. Tell me if I'm walking.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Tell me if I am I getting a bus ticket? Just call me Christopher. Because I'm Christopher Walking.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Well, this has deteriorated the nonsense even faster than I had planned, but uh you've reached the Irritable Dead Syndrome Hotline. To hear about previous episodes, press one. To purchase irritable dad syndrome merchandise, press two. For complaints, comments, and questions about irritable dad syndrome, press three. If you'd like to listen to this episode, press four, or stay on the line for Mike and Darren.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

Hello, I'm Darren. I am Michael. Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. This is Sitsonai's Comedy Podcast, and this is episode 328.

SPEAKER_04 1:52

If you've come here for mirth and for joy and laughter, you've come to the wrong place. Wait, this is a excuse. I'm going to disagree with you. This is a serious.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Is this the episode where we do true crime?

SPEAKER_04 2:07

This is a serious podcast. Uh today we're going to talk about talk about a true crime.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Talking about true crime, talking about people finding their faith.

SPEAKER_04 2:16

We're going to talk about those jackholes over on the left, and then we're going to talk about those jackholes over on the right.

SPEAKER_03 2:22

None of this is going to happen. None of this is going to happen. Tonight we're talking about Fat Bear Week. We're going to talk about dancing with the stars. And we're going to talk about popping and locking. It's the stacked list of topics to talk about.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

And the newest dip from the Rush fandom that's annoying me to all get out.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

I know, and I am one of the Rush fans, so this is uh it's disappointing to know him. But hey, uh happy fall. Today is the first day of fall.

SPEAKER_04 2:52

I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_03 2:53

I didn't like it either. I don't I don't recommend. I give it one out of five stars. It was bleak. Yeah. It was it was just gloomy. It looked like fall and it felt like fall. And two days later, it's two days earlier, excuse me, it still looked and felt kind of like we were in summer.

SPEAKER_04 3:10

I have some pleasant and nice friends, and I have some friends that are just going on and on about how wonderful it is that it's fall and it's not hot and everything. And I just I don't want to be a mean person, right? But I want to just say f you.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

I agree.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

From the bottom of my heart. I don't want to hear it. I don't know about you. I get the seasonal effect of I turn into a real I do too.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

I do too.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

So I know that's coming, that's on the horizon.

SPEAKER_03 3:37

Yeah, it's gonna get colder and colder and cold. The sun goes away. Yeah, usually in the uh well, fall leads to winter.

SPEAKER_04 3:44

That's normally how it works.

SPEAKER_03 3:46

That's how it always works. Yeah. And um, I am a big fan of spring. Spring is my jam. Yeah, spring is the happiest time of year for me. On the first day of spring, I go out and I stand in my yard and I andy dufrain it. I put out both arms, I look straight up into the sky and I say, Welcome, spring, and I give it a big sloppy kiss right on the mouth. That's what I do with spring. Okay. Now, fall, I used to go into a uh not a depression, but a lull. Because I know what's ahead and what's coming. Winter is coming. That's what's coming. Yeah. And I'm not a fan of winter. And I work from home and I'm in my basement and usually sitting down there with three pairs of socks on because my feet are freezing, and then I'm bitching about it like an old woman. My feet are cold.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Oh, wait till you come over here and the we got icicles hanging from the ceiling. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be in yeah, it's gonna suck. Anyway, this is just gonna suck.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Yeah, but the what's worse than fall is all the people, like you said, who love fall, and I love pumpkin spice. See, okay, here's the thing. And I love my hoodies, and and it's like, and there are people like, hey, it's football. Okay, be excited about football. I'm okay that you're excited about football. Yeah. And they're thrilled about you know, Halloween's coming. Uh, we had a a letter from Jim Timmerman. Mail call. Here, let me find it. It was a good segue. Yeah. Uh, here we go. Yeah. Dear Irritable Dad syndrome. Can you do something about people putting out Christmas displays this early in the year? Sincerely, a big fan, Jim Timmerman. Uh no, I can do not do anything about that.

SPEAKER_04 5:24

I really can do something about it. I got two dogs and they both point me to the houses and we'll go. I'm not, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

No, he's talking about at the stores. And he sent me a pay. He went to like Kirkland's or something.

SPEAKER_04 5:34

We can still they can sh in the store.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

For someone who complained about how much I've uh how much language I use, I've already bleeped you out eight times. So anyway, but Jim, but no, there's nothing we can do. It keeps coming earlier every year. Yeah. The Christmas displays. Yeah. I'm like, we haven't even used to be, I would say, damn it. We haven't we haven't even had Thanksgiving yet. And now I'm like, we haven't even had uh Halloween yet.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

And so it's like, let us have Halloween and then let us have Thanksgiving. But it's like, I understand, because you can't just slop all the Christmas stuff out the day after Thanksgiving. I mean, you could.

SPEAKER_04 6:15

Um And we used to be a country where you could do that, but you can't.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

I know not anymore. Thanks, Kennedy.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

Hi, I'm Shadow Stevens, wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Ho ho ho ho ho!

SPEAKER_04 6:35

We were the only country that could do that because we were the only ones that had Thanksgiving. We're the only ones that thanked anyone. That's right. Right?

SPEAKER_03 6:43

I remember in French class in high school, somebody asked Mrs. Howes, our French teacher, do they have Thanksgiving in France? And she said, No. And do you know why? And I said, uh, because they're not thankful? Yeah. And and boy, I got a look for that. I almost went to the office for you. Yeah. But that was funny. But no, because the pilgrims didn't land in France.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

No, it wouldn't have been that great of a story if they had. Just sailed around for a few hours. Ah, it we're gonna go over here.

SPEAKER_03 7:15

In honor of fall, today on my Facebook page, I posted a video by uh country music sensation Emerson Drive. This is a band out of Canada. And many years ago, uh I had just moved up here, it was like 2000, 2001, something very early in the 2000s, and I was trying to get more work, and I had put my name on a freelance list, and I get this call, and it says, Hey, we're shooting a music video at the Newport Aquarium there in uh your area. We need grips, and it paid this much an hour. And I said, Yeah, I'll do it. And I thought, oh, this is gonna be awesome. I can go and I can learn the what the workings and how they craft the craft, yeah. Thank you, Mike, of how they shoot a major, major music video. Yeah, and I got there and there were trucks out the wazoo, and they were laying down tracks so that they could put a mo a camera. This is before they used the um the cameras that you strap on to yourself and you watch it. Before the strap-ons, I think they were called the strap-on cameras.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

Hello.

SPEAKER_04 8:19

It's before they would use strap-ons. These were simpler, yes, more gentle times.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

Gentle times. Anyway, so they were laying down the track, and uh, oh my god, I ended up carrying, I don't know how many light stands and rolling up cable after cable after cable, and I would move boxes and I would grab sandbags and carry sandbags from here to there. They use a sandbag to put at the base of a light to keep it from tipping over. Boy, did I not get to learn anything about the craft. I couldn't get anywhere near the director. The lady who directed the video looked so much like Cheryl Crow, but it wasn't Cheryl Crow. Uh her name, I believe, is uh Trey Fanjoy. Anyway, so I posted the video. The song is called Fall Into Me by Emerson Drive, and what I did on this shoot basically made the video as good as it is today. So you're welcome, fans of Emerson Drive. There was a scene where this girl, she's sitting by the pool, right? And uh she's thinking very reflectively about the lead singer, and she's just smitten by him, and she's just staring at the water, thinking, Oh my god, what would it be like if he and I were a couple and I love him so much? Anyway, so she's sitting there by the pool and the water is stagnant, and they need ripples in the water. So the the guy who's doing this part of the shoot said, uh, Darren, we need you to go onto the other side of the pool and splash the water with this board. So I'm on one side of the pool and I hear more ripples, Darren. Darren, more ripples, uh-huh. Darren, more ripples.

SPEAKER_04 9:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

And then Okay, not as many ripples, Darren. I'm like so the scene with her sitting next to the pool takes maybe three seconds, uh-huh. Maybe four of the video, but every time I see that, I did that! I did I made the ripples. So, yeah. Yeah, all that for that. Yeah. So anyway, happy fall. Happy fall. Enjoy your pumpkin spice and tuck your machines into your pumpkin spice.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

I know everybody has that one friend that has to tell them that, but it's true, and it pissed me off the first time I bit into a pumpkin. They don't taste like that. No, they taste like it's more, it's more um cinnamon, isn't it? Gordy. Gordy. Yeah, it's the same. I want to say qua as hey, enjoy your gourd spice. I read the entomology of pumpkin spice.

SPEAKER_03 10:44

You probably did.

SPEAKER_04 10:45

I did. It's the spice that you put into like the pumpkin pies. Yeah. It's just all those spices put together. They have nothing to do with pumpkin. It's cinnamon, and then that other oregano, and nutmeg, and coriander, coriander, parsley, paprika, paprika.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

But yeah, I'm not a fan of the uh pumpkin spice.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

I like it.

SPEAKER_03 11:07

I tried it.

SPEAKER_04 11:07

I bitch about it, but I like it.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

I mean, it's like I don't hate it, but I don't lose my mind.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

But I will never order it. No. I have a crew at Duncan, they know me, and they know I never get pumpkin spice, and I think they respect that. They know that if I ever order pumpkin spice, that's a signal.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

That someone has uh abducted you. Yeah. They're holding your family, they're in danger.

SPEAKER_04 11:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:30

That ain't spice latte. That ain't like extra mayonnaise.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

This portion of our show is brought to you by Wampers All Be Footlong Hot Dogs. Hi, I'm Dave Lay. Fall is here, and that means three things. It's time to watch football. Women tuck their pants into their boots, and pumpkin spice is in absolutely everything. Well, I've been asked by the fine folks at Wampers to assure you something. Wampers will never put that nasty ass pumpkin spice flavor into their hot dogs or their buns. It's a promise. Wampers are made from 100% pure beef with no fillers and no preservatives. Get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your hot dog isn't a foot long, they'll refund your money, guaranteed. And hey ladies, thanks for tucking those pants into your boots. I personally think they're sexy as hell. Now back to the show.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

You know what? Speaking of coffee, I want to take this opportunity and apologize to my wife. Libby, I love you very much. And Libby, you are my world. You are beautiful, and you're kind, you're sweet, and you're very smart, and you're funny, and every day that you're in my life makes my world a little bit better. All right. Well, this morning. Okay. So okay, so this is what I've been doing. When on days when Libby goes to work, uh-huh, I get up with her. Now I work from home, but I get up with her and she's getting ready for work, and here lately she's been driving in with Cameron. Okay. And so what I'll do is I will pack her lunch and I will make her coffee. And for a long time, you know, with her arthritis, her hands hurt a lot. So I would carry her stuff out to the car for her. Okay. This is the least I can do. Sweet man. I try to help. Okay, this is the least I can do because those are like three things I do. The other 2,855 things in the house Libby does. Okay, those are the three things that I do. So this morning I got up and I packed her lunch and I ran her bag out to the car, and I made her coffee and I put it in her giant, and I mean giant Stanley mug. Good God, this thing could hold eight gallons of coffee. So I made her coffee, put everything in there, and I took it to the car, and then when she left, you know, smooched by love you, love you, and hugs, and and she goes, and it's like about 10 minutes later, and I get this call from Libby, and I thought, uh I thought, oh crap, I hope they weren't in an accident or something. And she calls me up, she says, Honey, why did you not put cream in my coffee? I'm like, Oh my god! The shriek, the horror, the terror. She has she went and she was like, I'm so looking forward to my coffee. Yeah, and she took a drink and it was black. No, God, please, no, no, it's nasty. Black coffee is absolutely nasty. Oh, God, did I apologize? But this is how my wife is loving and caring and kind, yeah, and she's funny and smart and beautiful, and uh she forgave me, but I think she still like got that and went in the chamber because the next time I something up, it's just like the coffee. Anyway, just I started fall off with a bang. Are you following Fat Bear Week? No, no, I've got a friend. No, I've got a friend and uh a god lover. This is like her shark week. Whenever Fat Bear Week comes up, she posts the video of who's uh in the running, who's coming close to being first.

SPEAKER_04 15:12

I got into it one year because I made it my profile picture, the winner.

SPEAKER_03 15:15

Yeah, yeah. Last year I got big, huge into Fat Bear Week, and I love it. I think it's great. These fat bears could give a sh. There's just I was like, I think when I die, yeah, if I do reincarnate, like so many people say we're gonna, I want to come back as a fat bear. Yeah. I do. Just a big old fat bear, and just one of them that just drops his face right into the river and eats about a hundred salmon at a pop. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

And I don't think nobody hunts bears, do they? I don't think everybody just tries to stay away from bears. I think especially if you're a grizzly. If you're a grizzly bear, yeah, you can do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

You can walk around and you can fight a gorilla if you want to. Yeah, Chris Michael, you know, he's scared to death of bears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about the time we went to uh Winnipesaki. No, no, no, we never went to Winnipesaki. Tallahassee. No, when we went to we went to Yosemite. Yosemite. And when we were in Yosemite, we saw five bear. And then when we uh left and went to um uh Lake Um Winnipesaki. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 16:24

There's they're they're all over.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

What's that lake in Nevada?

SPEAKER_04 16:28

Um uh Tahoe.

SPEAKER_03 16:29

Lake Tahoe, thank you. We went to Lake Tahoe and we were out late and we're pulling in and we saw this bear walk right across the parking lot. We're like, okay, and that was a big bear.

SPEAKER_04 16:40

Oh, they're just nasty with the bears out there.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

They were there, yeah, they're ripe with bears.

SPEAKER_04 16:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:46

And what did we do? We got out of the car. Hey, where's the huh? Is it over there? And we were like looking for the bear.

SPEAKER_04 16:52

Did you feed it?

SPEAKER_03 16:53

No. Okay. I did get freaked out, and I know I told this story on the podcast before, but we parked in the wrong place and they put a giant sticker on the window of our car. Hey, you're not allowed to park here. Now we didn't get a ticket, we didn't have to pay, but we got this giant sticker that said you are an and it wouldn't just come off. I had to use uh Windex and a credit card, and I'm scraping this sticker off the window. So here I am standing in the parking lot wondering, uh, am I gonna get eaten by a bear because I parked in the wrong place and I'm taking the sticker off the car? But anyway. Well, if he did, or she out there don't need to be sexist. But boy, that bear got that sticker on straight, nice and even. But no, we were talking about that and uh talking about walking around and and we told Chris that we didn't have bear spray. You didn't have bear spray, he said. He just looked at us like we were nuts. Yeah. And uh even his wife, Mary, they went to Gatlinburg one year, and Chris wouldn't walk around without bear spray.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

And I know I told this story, but I'll I'll throw this out of the air. When we were going on the Death Valley trip, I bought a survival kit with like a solar-powered battery pack for the cell phone. Yeah. Because of all you know, all the cell phone towers they have out there in Death Valley. Oh, yeah. Snake bite kit, uh-huh, uh, scorpion, poison, yeah, you gotta whatever suck the venom out. Everything uh that you could get, and uh left it on the counter of the hotel room uh when we went out to the actual Death Valley. It's all laid out right there. My question is, what the hell? You know, I'm glad we didn't die. Part of me thought it would have been hilarious when they finally do the uh first 48 or whatever, uh-huh, and they say they were mauled by a you know a bear, a rattlesnake, and a scorpion, uh-huh, and they died of exposure and thirst, you know, all at once.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

And there's the kit.

SPEAKER_04 18:48

And they ironically had a kit that would solve all those problems right there next to the fruity pebbles on the sink.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

We've done that before. It's like you're going to the beach, you're like, we don't want to get sunburned. So we make sure that we buy lots lots and lots of uh of sunscreen, yeah, and then we leave that in the hotel. I had everything. And then I inevitably me and one of the kids walk back or drive back and get it so that we don't, you know.

SPEAKER_04 19:13

Yeah. I I had everything but a bulletproof vest, and it was all it was expensive, and I was pissed. I wanted to go again the next day to use it. Oh. Sorry. You get mad at me. He gets mad at me. I'm glad that happened. I'm sorry. He gets mad at me for all the dings and the wibbits and the slabits. I said um, I said um these things.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Hey, I'm not tapping anything, and I I said I was sorry.

SPEAKER_04 19:36

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

Is that the TikTok? It is TikTok.

SPEAKER_04 19:39

That loves to do that.

SPEAKER_03 19:40

I yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_04 19:40

Try to sneak in a quick TikTok or two right before you go to bed.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

No. And Andrew Dice Clay is going, oh, waking everybody in the house up. I'm addicted to TikTok. Yeah. So if I'm sitting in the recliner and I can't stay awake watching TV, I'm like, that's it. I'm calling it, I'm going to bed. Yeah. Brush your teeth, you get into bed, and then you lay there, and you lay there, and you lay there, and then you can't fall asleep. So then I go to TikTok and I watched scroll through I don't know how many TikToks.

SPEAKER_04 20:07

Speaking of TikToks, have you seen Move Bitch? No. Move bitch, get out the way. Get out the way, bitch. Get out the way. Move, bitch, get out the way, bitch, get out the way, bitch, get out the way.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

I can't help it.

SPEAKER_04 20:23

Move bitch. You haven't seen that? No. No bitch. I saved what I thought was the original, and now I've seen so many variations of it. I'm not sure I have the original one. Okay. It's a show tunes. There's like multiple people in the background yelling, bitch! And it's got like a drum beat and like a little it's I'll play it for you later. Choreograph. It's uh I we could probably play it on here.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

I don't think it's uh well, I don't know if we can.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Maybe we'll link to it on our page. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

Move bitch.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

I can't I watched it and I watched it at least at least a hundred times. Uh-huh. And I cannot get out of it. I've been singing it all day, which is a problem because I work with people and I'm walking around. Move, bitch, get out the way. Get out the way, bitch. Get out the way. Move, bitch, get out the way. Get out the way, bitch. Get out the way. And it's it's a whole, there's like a three-minute full song, but that's the only part that matters.

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 21:22

Um it would not leave me. And thankfully, I work in a loud environment, so I can just say about this loud. Move, bitch, get out the way. As I'm walking down the hallway, nobody can hear me. It's wonderful. I've got to check it out. But so I think because I watched that so many times and was cackling, and think that's why the Kermit AI video popped up on my feed that I sent to you. Uh huh. It was like, oh good, you're not. I tell you, we there's a lot in the news about AI and how it's gonna kill us and all this stuff, which whatever. Yeah, it's old news. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

What did you see the TikTok that I sent to you today? With Gollum coming out of his cave, walking up and flipping off the camera. I'm like, oh, that's rich. Yeah. Thanks, AI.

SPEAKER_04 22:10

Yeah, yeah. So just enjoy it before it kills you. Yeah, look up Kermit the Frog interviews Oscar the Grouch. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:23

I was eating chicken filet. I spit it. I spent the next minute cleaning that up.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

Yeah, I loved it. I was I almost spit coffee out of my nose when I saw that. But anyway, I was on TikTok and a video, uh a TikTok, as it were, comes up promoting Dancing with the Stars. Okay. Now, forever ago, like Dancing but the Stars has been on since what? The 70s? I don't know. Yeah. Didn't it originally start out?

SPEAKER_04 22:56

It started out as Dances with Wolves. That didn't end well. That would that was only didn't even make it a full season. They got sued. It's like maybe there's something else we can dance with.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Guys, too many of our contestants are getting in. That's right. And all these foxes or foxes. All these wolves do the same dance. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

On the dance floor, attacking the cameraman. Insurance rate's way too high for that show.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

So anyway, the promo comes on for Dancing with the Stars. Now, about I don't remember how long ago, but when Dances with the Stars first came on, this was right around the time when I first got on Twitter, and I used to be something on Twitter. Seriously, my handle on Twitter is Darren Loves Bacon. And I I used to be a thing. I used to get a lot of, well not a lot, but a decent amount of likes per you used to be a pretty big deal. Yeah, I was close. Kind of a big deal. I was close. I was a contender. I was working my way up, and there was a thing called Favstar or Favestar. And if you were on that and you wrote a tweet that people thought were good enough, they would give you a tweet of the day. And you paid a monthly thing to give imaginary trophies to people. And this tweet that I wrote was they should do a celebrity version of Dancing with the Stars. And I think that got 10 or 12 uh trophy or tweets of the day, right? So I'm watching this promo for Dancing with the Stars, and I decided to bring back that joke. Uh-huh. Boy, people don't get it. People just don't get it. It's receive as of right now over 4,000 likes on the TikTok and the comments, Olympic gold medalist in the cast, by the way. And then someone else said, um, uh, there's an Olympic figure skater, Paralympian. Amber Glenn is on the show. Everybody's talking about this Olympic athlete who's on the show. Julia Stiles is on it. Okay. Somebody said in all caps and an exclamation point. I'm like, well, Julia Styles is on it. But yeah, people are losing their mind. They don't have a sense of humor. They don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah. And uh, but yeah, it should just be called dancing.

SPEAKER_04 25:11

Chuck goes out on the dance floor and just kind of does a little jove, bitch. Get out the way. Get out the way, bitch.

SPEAKER_03 25:20

Get out the way. But I I like your idea better. If they put wolves on it.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Dances.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

That sells itself. You don't need anything else but the title there.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

This portion of our show is brought to you by books. Buy a book at a reputable bookstore or check one out for free at your local public library. Read one today. They're really cool. Now back to the show.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

We do movie pizza night on Friday night, and my family have all teamed up against me, and multiple nights they have said, Dad, you're not picking the movie anymore. Okay. And okay, they have a point. There was one time where I picked a movie that um everybody got burned by a volcano and they were losing like 70-80% of their skin. It was more like a well, it's not more like a it was a documentary, not a feature film. Uh there was the movie where the guy got eaten by a bear and his girlfriend watched that and she was uh screaming horrifically. That was fun. There was a movie we watched a few weeks ago with Sean Penn. He drove an ambulance in New York, and it ended up causing him to um uh what's the word? Unalive himself. Whoa. Everybody was depressed. Okay. I picked a movie a couple of weeks ago that I thought was uh a nice family film. It was so sad, and then everybody was crying. Everybody was crying, and they're like, you're not allowed to pick the movie anymore. So I said, you know what? I'm gonna stop picking the movie. Now, I'm not gonna go into details. Okay, I'm not gonna go into specifics, and if you ask me any questions, I'm not gonna answer them because I'm not gonna tell you who picked the movie, but somebody else in the family picked the movie. Now, this movie this movie was vulgar, this movie had profanity, uh-huh, this movie had scenes of people doing things on top of a uh car in a parking lot with people watching. This movie had this movie with and I can't even okay. There was a I've gotta write this down.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

Wait, Harry Potter's really gone way off the deep end these days.

SPEAKER_03 27:37

Right. There's um I can't they started talking about this, and I can't even say so. Hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

It says um Please stand by. We're experiencing technical difficulties. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

They started talking about that. They started talking about doing something to somebody's something.

SPEAKER_04 28:00

I believe the kids call it these days.

SPEAKER_03 28:03

And that's when we're all like, we're turning it off.

SPEAKER_04 28:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:07

Okay. And I was so happy. I was like, and I didn't pick it. I didn't pick the movie. I was thrilled. I couldn't have been. It's like, and the worse the movie got, the more uncomfortable everybody got. The happier I was. Oh, yeah. Because I didn't pick it this week.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

Yeah. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

You know what? All of a sudden, Dad's not that bad at picking the movie, didn't he?

SPEAKER_04 28:38

All right. I got one I got a message from our sponsors. Okay. In my head all day long today. I want to make it my ringtone, but uh I would end up in meeting with HR. Yeah, you would. Yeah. So this week, Darren, D-Ron, this week, this Friday, uh-huh, as a matter of fact, is the 50th anniversary of you two.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_04 29:34

50 years to the day together.

SPEAKER_03 29:36

You were saying then, like, there ain't no way that's been yeah, okay. I guess it makes sense. Because I remember I think I was, what, six when uh when I first heard Sunday Bloody Sunday? Yeah. Or I don't remember how old. All I know is the first time I heard Sunday, Bloody Sunday, and I think that's the first U2 song that I heard. Oh, that you heard that you heard that I heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then they showed it on MTV, uh-huh and it was almost at the point, at that point, like an MTV classic. Yeah. And uh the because that video was live at Red Rocks.

SPEAKER_04 30:10

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

And I remember thinking, God, those guys have been around for a while now. Good Lord Jesus. You know when you're young and it's all perspective and you think these people are old in their 32 years.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

I when we when me, and I know I've said this before, but get over it. Me and the Fanches and people, we went to go see Paige and Plant, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant. Uh-huh. At the time, I believe they were 43 years old. And we were amazed that they could still stand up there on stage and hold their instruments. Uh-huh. Like, how we we need to see them now before they drop dead. Yeah. And I was, they started playing When the Levee Breaks, which is one of my all-time favorite Zeppelin songs. That's a great song. And I was worried they wouldn't make it through the end of it. It's like, guys, don't play the longer songs now.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

You don't know how much time you have. Well, no, what's awesome is a couple of months ago, somebody on the Facebook posted this thing about how old these TV stars were when they were in these movies. I'm like, oh my God, I'm older than Norman Fell was when he was Mr. Roper. I'm older than Fred Sanford. I'm older than all of the Golden Girls. I'm like, no, no, how am I older? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:23

So the U2s have been doing this thing since time immemorial. One, and this is going to shock you, but Bono cannot keep his mouth shut.

SPEAKER_03 31:32

Yeah, you've said that.

SPEAKER_04 31:33

He can't stop saying things. Yeah. And so historically, he always just starts talking about their albums like years before they come out. And he hasn't really done it that much this time. He's kind of like recently he's kept his in the past year, he just hasn't said squat. And they had two EPs come out. And I mentioned when the EPs came out, I was in awe.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

And the EPs.

SPEAKER_04 31:55

Somebody needs to check on Bono because he hasn't said anything. But one thing that they've always done, that they're starting to do, that I always appreciated, but it's now annoying me a bit, is they will pick a song from the album that's unreleased and they'll play a few seconds of it here and there. And now that social media is all the jam. This stuff used to happen like on the YouTube fan page, or you know, you would it would pop up in an email or somebody would be in the background of a YouTube video. Right. Now they're just putting it out there on Instagram. Every day for the past couple days, they've been releasing five to six seconds of the song that's going to release on Friday.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 32:34

Which is another track.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

And the one from their new album. The one that they the five seconds that I heard was a jammer.

SPEAKER_04 32:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh it's gonna be badass, and they have a video that goes along with it. They've been playing snippets of the video. Bono's new look. It's not really new.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

But uh him having a new look is a little annoying.

SPEAKER_04 32:54

Well, he's got like he's got like the slash top hat thing with the with the black. He did it in uh 2018 for the Songs of Experience tour. Yeah, they were delving into the dark side of the Octung babies and and all that kind of jam. And he he wore that during part of the show, and he's kind of that's his jam now. Edge has gone back to the Joshua tree, it seems. He's got like the cowboy hat thing going on. Uh Adam was wearing a pink suit, and Larry is, of course, wearing all black and uh being as badass as badass as I can be. I'm the drummer, and I'm the guy that started the band, so what do you want? Speaking of drummers, I made the mistake. Now, I've talked about the groups that I'm in, the Rush, the Tool, and U2s.

SPEAKER_02 33:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:40

Well, clearly the Rush groups have been going crazy this year because of the 50-something tour.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

Right. And Neil died.

SPEAKER_04 33:48

Neil's no longer uh with us. Annika, what's her Annika Skywalker, the new drummer? We saw them. What episode was it? 325, 326, one of those. Yeah. Uh we talked about our experience seeing Rush.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:03

326.

SPEAKER_03 34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:04

And it was awesome. And I thought she did an amazing job. She was filling in spellbinding for the drummer of all best drummer of all time, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

Uh mine too.

SPEAKER_04 34:14

And I came across some comments on the Rush pages. Uh, somebody said, I've been listening to live feeds over the past few days, and I've noticed that she hasn't played a single rush song correctly. Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

What the hell did you just say?

SPEAKER_04 34:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_04 34:33

Yeah. And he had one of these, you know, the posts where if a post goes more than three or four sentences, you start thinking about what kind of mental issue this person has. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're clearly uh they've got an issue. And it just kept going on and on and on. And he listed every song that they've played and the particular video that he watched it on, and the particular drum beat. Oh, here, Neil hit the hi-hat twice and then the snare. She hits the hi-hat three times, skips the snare, and then goes back to the bell. Neil never did that. That bitch. Yeah, it's it's so to the group's credit, uh huh. This dude posted it. Hundreds of comments. Dude, what's wrong with you? Yeah. What's wrong with you? Do you want to see Getty and Alex or not?

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:25

And B, who cares? And one of the things he complained about was that she didn't do a drum solo. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's like, you don't, that's not, you don't do that. No. You don't do that. No. That would be I would be annoyed by that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:44

Even though she would have killed it.

SPEAKER_04 35:45

She would have killed it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

Yeah. No, okay. So here's the thing. If you're a drummer, by the way, I play drums. So if you're a drummer, you either do it just note for note, which I disagree with him because I didn't hear the differences that he's uh bitching about, or you you know, you vary it and you throw your own style into it. Thank you. It's just like, dude, she's amazing. She's an absolutely amazing drummer, and Getty and Alex picked her for a reason. Yeah. And she killed it. She absolutely killed it. Didn't break a sweat. No. And she absolutely killed it. And this dude. So, and then here's the thing. Let's say that she does do it note for note per note. And then people are gonna go, well, she's still not Neil. She didn't even throw her own style or vibe into it. All she did was just copy Neil.

SPEAKER_04 36:35

She didn't even wear his hat. No. Come on.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

There are some people you just can't win.

SPEAKER_04 36:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

You turn left and you should have turned right. Uh-huh. And you turn right. How come they never turn left? It's like, dude, just get a life and leave me alone.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

It's time now for the Kroger story of the week.

SPEAKER_03 36:54

I was at Kroger the other night and I got there late. I was don't shop after nine o'clock. If you shop after nine o'clock, it gets weird in there. It does. And they you usually have to scan your own groceries, and I hate scanning my own groceries. I get up to the thing, to the register, and there is this sweet, super sweet old lady. And she's standing there in front of me. She's got her hair in the bun. She reminds me a lot of uh Granny from the Sylvester and Tweety cartoons. Okay. She looks a lot like Tweety's owner. Okay. She didn't have the sass and the southern accent. Yeah. But she took one look at that register, and there was a panic on her face. Like, oh, oh gosh, is there not a person here? And so she's like, Oh, I don't know how to do this. And I walked over to her and says, Can I help you? And she goes, Oh, please. So I showed her this is where you put your Kroger Plus card. This is how you do your thing. This is where the where where you scan it. Do you have anything that you have to weigh? And she did. And so we weighed her cabbage and her bananas. Oh. Let me just say her cabbage weighed a lot more than I thought it would. And I don't even know what that means.

SPEAKER_04 38:09

The bananas just kept falling off the sides.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

But I but and I told her, I said, I'm gonna bag your groceries for you. And I went over there and I'm bagging up all her stuff, and she gets everything uh scanned successfully and she pays for it. And I wanted to walk her groceries out for her. I really do. And there were nights, especially like the other night, and I thought, when I retire, I'm probably gonna go back and bag groceries. Okay. Because I had so much fun bagging her groceries. I put all the meat together, I put the frozen stuff together, I put her canned goods in a bag. The bags weren't too heavy. I stacked them, I had the bread on top. The eggs were nowhere near where they could be crushed. I killed it. I absolutely killed it. And she was so thankful. And I'm just like, you're welcome. And I'm just like, ah God, I would love to do that again. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what that was the best thing about bagging groceries was, you know, you don't take your work home with you.

SPEAKER_04 39:06

No.

SPEAKER_03 39:06

You really don't. You know, it's like there's never like every now and then I'll have a project that gets kind of stuck in my head. Either I'm kind of lost creatively trying to figure out how to approach it or whatever. Yeah. Or sometimes a coworker or somebody will get a little under my skin. And not that it ever happens. Never, never happens.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

This has been the Kroger story of the week.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

I would love to, upon retirement, and I would love to retire early, not you know, from a selfish standpoint, but just because I don't see that being selfish at all. I think it would be easier to do what I want to do, which is I want to see how many jobs I can get fired from. You fired! And I don't want to do something stupid, like, you know, just walk in and like steal something or be. I wanted to like somewhat try to do it, but in a like if I were a bagger, I would just like bag a single item in every bag and see how long I could do that. And then if they try to correct me, you know, take them way too literally or whatever I could do, get fired from there, head down to the McDonald's, you know, just toss the fries in the car at them. I would have so much fun getting fired from every place. And then I would come back and try to reapply. Like if I got fired from every place in Westchester, I'd come back like a month later. I've learned, I've grown.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

Darren, we fired you. You were serious? You can't, you know who I am? You can't fire me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:36

Yeah. Come back in with a Hawaiian shirt and a coconut with a drink straw hanging out of it. I'm back.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

You know, just no. This is no, this is what you do. You go into work wearing your robe. Just eh, sorry, I'm like, Chief.

SPEAKER_04 40:49

Put a boom box up on the register, start blasting slayer while you're working.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

It'd be awesome. Have you seen that guy who calls in sick at places he does at work? Oh no. It's one of the best things ever. Calls in and he's like, Yeah, um I can't come in uh tomorrow. And then the woman he's talking to, she's like, Well, you really need to come in. Uh, you know, some friends are we're all gonna go fishing, and uh, it's just gonna be a beautiful day tomorrow. And do I really have to come in? Yeah, you have to come in. And she's like, What department do you work in? He says, The I can't remember jewelry. That's my department. What is your name? Keith. Keith, you have to come in tomorrow. Can we not just call it a sick day? No, you can't. And I mean, she is getting hot. And one of those things that made me so so mad and jealous, I'm like, I wish I had thought of that.

SPEAKER_04 41:49

Well, there's one like that that I wish I'd thought of. Have you seen John Break's Bad News? No. Oh, you look that up.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 41:58

It's a guy, it and you can tell that things have gone well for him because the very first few videos, it's just some dude sitting in his apartment or whatever with a camera set up. And all he does is he, if somebody wants to break bad news to somebody, they tell him, and then he calls the person and tells them the bad news. Oh, okay. And he does it live, and it is absolutely hilarious. Because it'd be like, hey, this is John from John Breaks Bad News. Uh, somebody wanted me to call you and tell you that you're uh they can't stand you when you walk into your job, you're disgusting. Uh-huh. Uh they can smell you hours after you're gone.

SPEAKER_03 42:33

That doesn't sound like bad news. I mean, this is just yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:35

Whatever. Usually the most common reaction is, who is this? I'm John. Who are you? I'm John from Breaks and John Breaks Bad News. What is this all about? Oh well, somebody wanted you to know those things, and they called me and they told me, and now I'm telling you. Who's this? I'm John. I'm John. John from Breaks. It's John Breaks Bad News. Oh, it's so good. There are some that are sad.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

There's some Well, I would think so. It's like I wouldn't if I was him, I wouldn't want to tell people that their grandmother passed away.

SPEAKER_04 43:07

His claim to fame, though, or what I think saves him.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

Sorry, your Kia's dead.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

He's deadpan no matter what their reaction is. Uh-huh. And it works. You wouldn't think that it works, but it does. Yeah. It works when they lose their minds in a comedic way. And when it's sad, his deadpanness is actually show some decent restraint. But he ends every call the same with uh love you. And he waits, he waits online for them to say it back. And sometimes they say it back. It's great. I know he's on Facebook because that's where I came across him.

SPEAKER_03 43:51

Do you remember a few years ago I had mentioned that I found a mouse in the garage? Yeah. And Chris Michael had loaned me a couple of traps. Uh-huh. And then I caught the mouse. Yeah. Right. And I got rid of it. I'm like, well, I got rid of that. So it was months later, maybe a year later, when we took the Kia in for service. And they said, um, we you're not going to believe this, but they took video when they were changing the air filter, there was a mouse nest. Remember, I told you about the mouse nest in the car. We're like, huh. Well, that's something. Yeah. How'd that happen? Okay. And then a couple of years later, I caught another mouse. I've come to the conclusion. I used to think that there was a mouse in the garage and I got it. And then another mouse had come into the garage. I'm thinking that this there's been like a family living in there.

SPEAKER_04 44:40

Family of mice. There's generations of mice living in your garage.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

For I don't know how long.

SPEAKER_04 44:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

I went and bought, I don't know how many traps. I bought two. There's these little clear blue traps. And when a mice, when a when a when when the mees, when a mouse walks into the trap, the bottom of it closes, and then the mouse is stuck in there. So I caught a few in those, and then I would take them out to the lake and let them out.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

That could have been Chris Michaels' mail. That's what I'd do.

SPEAKER_03 45:16

So I mean, here's the thing. I was I think I've gotten rid of all the mice. Because the last time I let one out of the lake.

SPEAKER_04 45:24

Gotten rid of all the slow, stupid mice.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

But somebody says, hey, where there's one, you know, there's like seven you can't see, or I don't know what the odd number is. I think I've gotten rid of them all because we cleaned out the garage completely on Saturday. We took almost everything out of the garage and we couldn't find a single damn mouse anywhere. But it wasn't like a couple weeks ago, I was standing there at the door of my garage, and I'm telling these mice, look, this is your chance. Yeah, you can walk right out of here. Uh-huh. No questions asked. Just leave, and I won't hunt you, I won't do anything. You can live your life, but you gotta leave now. Yeah, and none of them left. Yeah, they chose to stay there. And so then I had to kill some of them. I did. I killed some of them. But last week, when I came home from recording the podcast with you, I opened up the garage door and one runs around up the door. I'm like, I think I've gotten them all. I bought what's called mouse repellent. These are these packages, they stink. Now, the like people they don't smell bad to people, but I threw them in all four corners of the garage. And I think I've uh stopped my mouse problem. Okay. But these, oh god, I hate them. I just hate them. I need mouse repellent. I think we have somebody asked me, how do you think they got in your garage? They what do you mean how'd they get in the garage? Yeah, what do you like?

SPEAKER_04 46:46

They flew in on their air car.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

It's just like, how did we get the car in the garage through the front door?

SPEAKER_04 46:51

They hang glided in.

SPEAKER_03 46:53

I don't think so. Somebody seriously asked me, how was I getting mice in the garage?

SPEAKER_04 46:59

There's a little mice, a little mice, a little mouse rappelling down from the ceiling with night vision goggles on.

SPEAKER_03 47:05

That's right. What were you saying?

SPEAKER_04 47:07

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 47:07

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04 47:10

Charlie told us that there was a mouse in the garage, but I've never seen it. And when he describes it, every time he describes it, it gets bigger and bigger. Well, it's probably getting bigger and bigger. Well, I mean, the last time he described it, I was like, well, I don't even think it could get through the door if we, you know.

SPEAKER_03 47:26

It's like one of those rodents of unusual size from The Princess Bride.

SPEAKER_01 47:30

Why, you miserable misses, I'll get you guys.

SPEAKER_03 47:38

Libby and I went to a birthday party and they started playing dance music from the 80s and 90s, and three or four of us guys started popping and locking. Yeah. Um, but that story goes nowhere, so I'm not gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 47:48

I'm glad you didn't. If there's one thing that we can't stand on this show, it's popping and locking. Yeah. I think we call it. I think we're good.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

Yep, yep. All right, we're gonna go. Yeah. Hope to see you next week. Well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I haven't even mentioned that you're you gotta go to irritable dadcenter.com. Oh, yeah, yeah. You've got to go to irritabledathcenter.com. Yeah. And you gotta tell your friends to go to our website. If you're not a patron, you don't know what you're missing.

SPEAKER_04 48:17

Now I will say this. I know people do this because they want patrons, uh, because they don't want to starve. But look, we have some funny on the patron. Because I put it up, I schedule this out for through December. D-Ron here in his spare time puts together these perfect bonus clips. And I think the show's pretty pretty good. But the bonus clips are awesome.

SPEAKER_03 48:41

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 48:43

They're really good. And they're educational. Yeah. Because we try to do a clean podcast, but some of our stories, you can't tell what we're talking about. You go to the bonus, you hear it uncensored, it's like, oh, that's that's the word they were saying. He put the thing in the stuff.

SPEAKER_03 49:00

That's right. Okay. Even so, the thing that I wrote down for Mike, I wouldn't say that on Patreon.

unknown 49:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:07

I'm glad you stopped us from ending the show. Yes, yes. Yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 49:11

We hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

SPEAKER_00 49:14

Irritable Dad Syndrome is a Mark Goodson Bill Todman production.

SPEAKER_04 49:23

You ready? Yeah, are we rolling? We've been rolling. Okay. Uh, people out there waiting for the funny to hit.

SPEAKER_03 49:28

Rolling in my sweet baby's arms. And you uh really, really, if you're not a Patreon, you're don't if if you're not a patron. Anyway, I think I've gotten all of them and I've about I cannot talk tonight. And we and Anna Capier.

SPEAKER_04 49:46

It's I don't know. I I uh Oh Yep. Okay, okay. Yep. That's so far in the future, doesn't it? I don't even it's I can't even comprehend it. You have to be a wet blanket. We may be able to record. Just put me put me on the pencil me in. Pencil me in. Pencil me in. Uh my rundown topics are uh move, bitch.

SPEAKER_03 50:11

Um that's the podcast title. I'll go to bed. I'll I'll okay. So if I'm sitting in the couch and I'm trying to watch TV, I can't fall asleep, or I can't we're gonna start that again.

SPEAKER_02 50:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

Check that out. And they go and they and then I'm sorry, I I retort, I retreat what I I retract. If Julia Stiles is on it, I retract or say, Oh, that's funnier than anything else I could do all the week.

SPEAKER_04 50:48

I'm I'm all out of gas. I ain't got on my thing anymore. That's what she said. What? Oh it was dumb.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

Recording stopped.